07 Dealing with Conflict handout
TRAINING AND COACHING CONCEPTS & TOOLS
Jathan Janove Janove Organization Solutions jathan@jathanjanove
VERBAL AIKIDO Instead of fight or flight, engage, blend and channel their energy to a mutually safe place. Explore things from their perspective.
THE MONK’S TECHNIQUE Before disagreeing, confirm with the other person the view with which you’re about to disagree.
THE MIDAS TOUCH APOLOGY I made a mistake. It caused injury. I plan to do things differently. I’d like to make amends. Then stop talking!
The Johari Window
THE TRIPLE TWO TECHNIQUE What two things do I need to: Start doing? Stop doing? Continue doing?
+5%,—50%; +5%,+50% Resist improving their idea. Encourage them to improve your idea.
PER-GIVENESS What you plan to do When Why “Let me know if you have questions or wish to discuss it first.”
CROSSROADS Alignment check, not “discipline” Two questions: o What step(s) will close the expectations gap? o Is it time for a transition?
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DUCKS IN A ROW The three consistency questions: Have similar situations arisen? What do the documents say? Can we show there is no inconsistency?
The Adverse Action Checklist ✓ Substantively fair? ✓ Procedurally fair? ✓ Consistent? ✓ Complications?
V=LM & The 3 Risk Options •
Value = Likelihood of Gain/Loss x Magnitude of Gain/Loss
Three options: Risk Preferrer—High investment/high risk; Risk Averse—Low investment/low risk; Risk Neutral—Balanced investment/balanced risk
THE LISTENING RATIO
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Lead with your E-A-R ✓ Explore–Open-ended questions. ✓ Acknowledge–Do I understand you correctly? ✓ Respond–This comes last.
THE CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATIONAL QUESTION (CCQ) Open-ended Not cross-examination (curiosity, not opinion) Goes to the heart of the matter
FRAMING FEEDBACK
Keep the primary focus on the
not the
SAME DAY SUMMARY Within a day of the D-I-S-cussion, and in less than a page, summarize the key points spoken. “If you have questions, or if I haven’t summarized our conversation accurately, please let me know right away.”
THE WHAT:WHY RATIO 1:1
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The Star Profile A 1-4 sentence word picture of the on-the-job behavior that matters most. Connect the “What” to the “Why” in order to collaborate on the “How.” Use as a predictive and relationship alignment tool.
SELECTED READING • “The CEO-HR Partnership”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/44009/employee-engagement-theceo-hr-partnership • “Forbes Interview”: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2017/05/02/cureyour-toxic-work-relationships/#1635f3b768b6 • “Combining Management With Leadership”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/48696/the-htv-leader-whenmanagement-becomes-leadership • “Documentation Made Easy”: https://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/49091/documentation-made-easyeffective-the-same-day-summary • “Effective Listening Techniques”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/47996/2017-the-year-of-the-ear • “Economic Analysis of the Law,” HR Magazine: http://www.shrm.org/publications/hrmagazine/editorialcontent/2011/1011/pages /1011legal.aspx • “Become a Compliance Coach,” HR Magazine: http://www.shrm.org/publications/hrmagazine/editorialcontent/2011/0811/pages /0811legal.aspx 5
• “Key Do’s & Don’ts of Discipline & Discharge”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/42907/the-right-way-the-wrongway-to-fire-an-employee Jathan Janove: Jathan works with employers to create fully engaged cultures where every employee demonstrates an enthusiastic commitment to helping the organization thrive. He is an award-winning, internationally published author, including Managing To Stay Out Of Court: How To Avoid The 8 Deadly Sins Of Mismanagement, which Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, described as “Marvelous! Every manager will benefit immensely,” and which Richard Drezen of the Washington Post described as “an extraordinarily useful book for managers and workers.” He is also author of The Star Profile: A Management Tool To Unleash Employee Potential, Gold Medal Winner—Business & Career, Book Expo America 2009. His latest book is Hard-Won Wisdom: True Stories From The Management Trenches. New York Times bestselling author and world-renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith states, “Read this insightful book. It contains compelling stories with specific, actionable advice that will help anyone’s career.” NYT bestselling author Daniel H. Pink states, “By sharing many of his best stories and experiences, Jathan Janove creates a short-cut for us to the knowledge needed to become an empathetic, effective leader in the workplace.” Jathan writes a blog column for Business Management Daily, contributes frequently to HR Magazine, and has been quoted in Forbes and the New York Times. He currently serves as President of the Organization Development Network of Oregon.
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Jathan Janove Janove Organization Solutions jathan@jathanjanove
VERBAL AIKIDO Instead of fight or flight, engage, blend and channel their energy to a mutually safe place. Explore things from their perspective.
THE MONK’S TECHNIQUE Before disagreeing, confirm with the other person the view with which you’re about to disagree.
THE MIDAS TOUCH APOLOGY I made a mistake. It caused injury. I plan to do things differently. I’d like to make amends. Then stop talking!
The Johari Window
THE TRIPLE TWO TECHNIQUE What two things do I need to: Start doing? Stop doing? Continue doing?
+5%,—50%; +5%,+50% Resist improving their idea. Encourage them to improve your idea.
PER-GIVENESS What you plan to do When Why “Let me know if you have questions or wish to discuss it first.”
CROSSROADS Alignment check, not “discipline” Two questions: o What step(s) will close the expectations gap? o Is it time for a transition?
2
DUCKS IN A ROW The three consistency questions: Have similar situations arisen? What do the documents say? Can we show there is no inconsistency?
The Adverse Action Checklist ✓ Substantively fair? ✓ Procedurally fair? ✓ Consistent? ✓ Complications?
V=LM & The 3 Risk Options •
Value = Likelihood of Gain/Loss x Magnitude of Gain/Loss
Three options: Risk Preferrer—High investment/high risk; Risk Averse—Low investment/low risk; Risk Neutral—Balanced investment/balanced risk
THE LISTENING RATIO
3
Lead with your E-A-R ✓ Explore–Open-ended questions. ✓ Acknowledge–Do I understand you correctly? ✓ Respond–This comes last.
THE CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATIONAL QUESTION (CCQ) Open-ended Not cross-examination (curiosity, not opinion) Goes to the heart of the matter
FRAMING FEEDBACK
Keep the primary focus on the
not the
SAME DAY SUMMARY Within a day of the D-I-S-cussion, and in less than a page, summarize the key points spoken. “If you have questions, or if I haven’t summarized our conversation accurately, please let me know right away.”
THE WHAT:WHY RATIO 1:1
4
The Star Profile A 1-4 sentence word picture of the on-the-job behavior that matters most. Connect the “What” to the “Why” in order to collaborate on the “How.” Use as a predictive and relationship alignment tool.
SELECTED READING • “The CEO-HR Partnership”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/44009/employee-engagement-theceo-hr-partnership • “Forbes Interview”: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2017/05/02/cureyour-toxic-work-relationships/#1635f3b768b6 • “Combining Management With Leadership”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/48696/the-htv-leader-whenmanagement-becomes-leadership • “Documentation Made Easy”: https://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/49091/documentation-made-easyeffective-the-same-day-summary • “Effective Listening Techniques”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/47996/2017-the-year-of-the-ear • “Economic Analysis of the Law,” HR Magazine: http://www.shrm.org/publications/hrmagazine/editorialcontent/2011/1011/pages /1011legal.aspx • “Become a Compliance Coach,” HR Magazine: http://www.shrm.org/publications/hrmagazine/editorialcontent/2011/0811/pages /0811legal.aspx 5
• “Key Do’s & Don’ts of Discipline & Discharge”: http://www.businessmanagementdaily.com/42907/the-right-way-the-wrongway-to-fire-an-employee Jathan Janove: Jathan works with employers to create fully engaged cultures where every employee demonstrates an enthusiastic commitment to helping the organization thrive. He is an award-winning, internationally published author, including Managing To Stay Out Of Court: How To Avoid The 8 Deadly Sins Of Mismanagement, which Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, described as “Marvelous! Every manager will benefit immensely,” and which Richard Drezen of the Washington Post described as “an extraordinarily useful book for managers and workers.” He is also author of The Star Profile: A Management Tool To Unleash Employee Potential, Gold Medal Winner—Business & Career, Book Expo America 2009. His latest book is Hard-Won Wisdom: True Stories From The Management Trenches. New York Times bestselling author and world-renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith states, “Read this insightful book. It contains compelling stories with specific, actionable advice that will help anyone’s career.” NYT bestselling author Daniel H. Pink states, “By sharing many of his best stories and experiences, Jathan Janove creates a short-cut for us to the knowledge needed to become an empathetic, effective leader in the workplace.” Jathan writes a blog column for Business Management Daily, contributes frequently to HR Magazine, and has been quoted in Forbes and the New York Times. He currently serves as President of the Organization Development Network of Oregon.
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