A Manner of Speaking
92 A MANNER OF SPEAKING EXCHANGE SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017
www.ChildCareExchange.com
A Manner of Speaking by Bonnie Neugebauer This issue we celebrate Janet Gonzalez-Mena’s gifts to the field of Early Care and Education. Janet has touched so many of our lives, provoking our thinking, inspiring our work, and focusing our attention. Exchange Leadership Initiative honors Janet Gonzalez-Mena as Doyen to our field. We’ve asked a few of Janet’s close peers to share stories of Janet in action, as they know her. One of my favorite all-time memories is of a presentation with Jim Greenman, Anne Stonehouse, and Janet at NAEYC. We called it “Exposing Ourselves” and we talked about our struggles to share our voices in writing and speaking, where ideas come from and the crazy systems we created for collecting them; we shared our precious feel-good moments and stories of pulling ourselves up from our failures. We made ourselves vulnerable to questions and honest answers. But the best part was that when attendees were seated, we walked out of the room before anything was said. And then we returned in raincoats and sunglasses, and ‘exposed ourselves’ to begin the session. We thought we were hysterical, and the camaraderie of our team and the atmosphere of safety that was created among all of us is a memory I treasure. I thank Janet for all her gifts to me in all the many ways she touches how I live and work, and I thank her for this experience of playfulness. Elsa Chahin: At every speaking engagement — and there have been numerous — my dear mentor, friend, and fellow RIE Associate, Janet Gonzalez-Mena would say, “There are many paths to the top of the mountain.” This simple, but profound, statement has proven true since I first met Janet in 2003 at a World Forum reception, where she became interested in my project of working with orphanages in México. Shortly thereafter, we visited the Pikler Institute in Budapest, Hungary, followed by a trip to Casa del Sol orphanage in Puebla, México. Since the 50 babies, aged 0–3, had come from similar backgrounds as Pikler infants — abandoned, abused, or removed by authorities because of poor care — it was my idea to train the staff using the RIE and Pikler approach. “But we haven’t even met the babies,” said Janet, a firm believer in inclusion, “so how can we know how they are being cared for. And certainly there are differences between the Hungarian and Méxican cultures.”
Janet was right, of course, and began advising our group to create a dialogue with the caregivers, to learn from them what they do, to observe them as they carry out their daily activities, and to observe their interactions with the infants. We then created a training curriculum focused on the importance of one-on–one time, where talking to the infant during caregiving activities is also paramount, and where each and every baby is considered a person. Returning the next morning, we noticed one of the caregivers holding a baby in her arms, resting him gently on her lap as she fed him. My eyes welled with tears knowing that Janet and I had helped bring change to Casa del Sol. Indeed, it was through Janet’s understanding of infants and their caregivers — and imparting that information with patience, perception, and humility — that have been both beacon and inspiration to me. And while the Dalai Lama once said, “Love is the absence of judgment,” so it is with Janet, who has not only impacted my life with such wisdom, but also helped transform the lives of so many others. Debra Sullivan: Babies are capable — more capable than grown-ups think they are or allow them to be. That is one of the most important lessons Janet taught me and she inspired me to pay closer attention to what babies do, to observe and reflect before disrupting, interrupting, and ‘helping’ a young one. I’ve always thought that babies need our help in accomplishing tasks and goals for their everyday needs like sitting up, getting things, getting to somewhere, and figuring out how to solve challenges, obstacles, and hurdles. These were all the things that grown-ups would do for babies or make babies do. Through Janet’s eyes, I began to see that grown-ups did not have to take care of babies in that way, that babies would learn to sit up in their own time and at their own pace, when they were ready to do so. Seeing babies as capable and letting them learn to solve problems and overcome barriers allows them to develop the confidence and competence they will need for the rest of their lives. Janet helped me to see that gaining confidence and building competence begin much earlier than grown-ups realize. She taught me how to trust, how to observe what babies can do and are trying to do by and for themselves — to wait until baby shows us “I’m ready to do this and I can do it myself!” Janet also taught me to pay attention to when a baby is telling me what NOT to do.
Copyright © Dimensions Educational Research Foundation All rights reserved. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. Visit us at www.ChildCareExchange.com or call (800) 221-2864.
A MANNER OF SPEAKING
www.ChildCareExchange.com
This lesson was brought home to me when I wrote an article for Exchange called “Learning to Walk.” It began with a greatnephew of mine who I loved to pick up and carry around. I would just go find him, scoop him up, and walk all over the house with him, not paying any attention to what he may have been involved with or engaged in when I went to find him. I went to find him one day at a family dinner when he first started learning to walk. He was toddling down the hall in my direction so I held out my arms to go pick him up. He stared at me for a second and then turned around and started ‘running away’ in that awkward, unbalanced baby ‘fast walk’ to move away from me and go do what he wanted to do! I realized in that moment that he had changed forever and that I would not be taking him away from his own tasks and goals. I thought of Janet as I let go of the notion that I could be in charge of my great-nephew’s daily experiences for my own pleasure. He was capable — more capable than I thought at the time and allowed him to be. Thank you, Janet. Luis Hernandez: In the magic of relationships, my friendship with Janet is all about admiration, reverence, and laughter. First, she pushes and challenges my thinking by gently showing paths, and spaces beyond usual thinking, constructs, and assumptions. Janet led me to new understandings in the fascinating development and learning of infants and toddlers. Listening to Janet talk about young children is to become infected (in a good way) with her contagious excitement and curiosity. Janet provides the ECE field the sensitivity and knowledge to examine the intertwined dynamics of culture and language as they impact children and their families adapting to a new country. Due to her dedication and delivery, we are richer in our approaches and practices with generations of children learning English and discovering new horizons and friends. But I reserve my greatest gratitude for how Janet provided me with the confidence and fire to write. As we began our initial plans to collaboratively write Learning from Bumps in the Road (Redleaf Press, 2013), she insisted: “Of course you can do it!” No room or space for doubt. And together with Janet, Holly, and Debra we created a book. There’s nothing like flying all the way to New Zealand and having someone ask to autograph ‘your’ book. Janet Gonzalez-Mena is being honored as a Doyen of Early Care and Education through the Exchange Leadership Initiative. November Exchange will share several Doyens to be honored for a lifetime of commitment to young children and their families. Exchange’s search for powerful leaders and recognition of leadership continues.
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017
93
EXCHANGE
As to laughter — many times over. I love the fact that I can still shock Janet by doing some group dynamic with, say, 400 people, and they all have a good time dancing, talking, laughing. “Just how did you do that?!” Janet may say. Thank you Janet! You keep my passion flowing. Please keep pushing me! Intisar Shareef: My experience with Janet started as a co-trainer doing Head Start trainings. Janet later asked me to join her in presenting trainings for PITC. She was very up-front about her concern that there was a lack of input from people of color and she felt the need to do something to make a change. That has been my experience of Janet. She is not afraid to speak her truth and she makes sure the voices of marginalized individuals are heard. She is a warrior woman. Holly Elissa Bruno: Janet, you had me at: “I fell in love.” “I walked into the infant room and I fell in love,” you said, your voice soft as a lullaby and your smile, gentle, genuine, generously soft-hearted. How could we in the audience not believe you? Everything in your being whispered, “I’m in love.” We all know Janet Gonzalez-Mena, renowned textbook author and international thought leader. We all knew your stand against white privilege, your dedication to the Emmi Pikler approach, your soothingly conversational style of writing. What I, at least, did not know was that I was listening to a prophetic yet quiet thunderbolt, clothed in a flowing blue and purple dress. A quiet thunderbolt whose keynoting style is simple: be yourself. I had never heard a speaker like you, Janet. You virtually whispered to us. You never assumed superiority. Your slides were pictures of children you knew. If you made a mistake, you laughed at yourself and went on without embarrassment. You are the same person as a keynoter that you are sitting beside me. Your authenticity and transparency touch my heart, Janet. Without your mentoring and modeling, I would not have known that I, too, could keynote directly from my heart, co-creating spaces with participants wherein we all become explorers. Explorers who sing, dance, laugh, and yes, cry, our way to understanding together. I fell in love. Bonnie Neugebauer is founding editor of Exchange magazine and co-founder of the World Forum Foundation. You’re invited to visit Bonnie’s Global Café: WorldForumFoundation.org/cafe WorldForumFoundation.org/cafe
www.ChildCareExchange.com
A Manner of Speaking by Bonnie Neugebauer This issue we celebrate Janet Gonzalez-Mena’s gifts to the field of Early Care and Education. Janet has touched so many of our lives, provoking our thinking, inspiring our work, and focusing our attention. Exchange Leadership Initiative honors Janet Gonzalez-Mena as Doyen to our field. We’ve asked a few of Janet’s close peers to share stories of Janet in action, as they know her. One of my favorite all-time memories is of a presentation with Jim Greenman, Anne Stonehouse, and Janet at NAEYC. We called it “Exposing Ourselves” and we talked about our struggles to share our voices in writing and speaking, where ideas come from and the crazy systems we created for collecting them; we shared our precious feel-good moments and stories of pulling ourselves up from our failures. We made ourselves vulnerable to questions and honest answers. But the best part was that when attendees were seated, we walked out of the room before anything was said. And then we returned in raincoats and sunglasses, and ‘exposed ourselves’ to begin the session. We thought we were hysterical, and the camaraderie of our team and the atmosphere of safety that was created among all of us is a memory I treasure. I thank Janet for all her gifts to me in all the many ways she touches how I live and work, and I thank her for this experience of playfulness. Elsa Chahin: At every speaking engagement — and there have been numerous — my dear mentor, friend, and fellow RIE Associate, Janet Gonzalez-Mena would say, “There are many paths to the top of the mountain.” This simple, but profound, statement has proven true since I first met Janet in 2003 at a World Forum reception, where she became interested in my project of working with orphanages in México. Shortly thereafter, we visited the Pikler Institute in Budapest, Hungary, followed by a trip to Casa del Sol orphanage in Puebla, México. Since the 50 babies, aged 0–3, had come from similar backgrounds as Pikler infants — abandoned, abused, or removed by authorities because of poor care — it was my idea to train the staff using the RIE and Pikler approach. “But we haven’t even met the babies,” said Janet, a firm believer in inclusion, “so how can we know how they are being cared for. And certainly there are differences between the Hungarian and Méxican cultures.”
Janet was right, of course, and began advising our group to create a dialogue with the caregivers, to learn from them what they do, to observe them as they carry out their daily activities, and to observe their interactions with the infants. We then created a training curriculum focused on the importance of one-on–one time, where talking to the infant during caregiving activities is also paramount, and where each and every baby is considered a person. Returning the next morning, we noticed one of the caregivers holding a baby in her arms, resting him gently on her lap as she fed him. My eyes welled with tears knowing that Janet and I had helped bring change to Casa del Sol. Indeed, it was through Janet’s understanding of infants and their caregivers — and imparting that information with patience, perception, and humility — that have been both beacon and inspiration to me. And while the Dalai Lama once said, “Love is the absence of judgment,” so it is with Janet, who has not only impacted my life with such wisdom, but also helped transform the lives of so many others. Debra Sullivan: Babies are capable — more capable than grown-ups think they are or allow them to be. That is one of the most important lessons Janet taught me and she inspired me to pay closer attention to what babies do, to observe and reflect before disrupting, interrupting, and ‘helping’ a young one. I’ve always thought that babies need our help in accomplishing tasks and goals for their everyday needs like sitting up, getting things, getting to somewhere, and figuring out how to solve challenges, obstacles, and hurdles. These were all the things that grown-ups would do for babies or make babies do. Through Janet’s eyes, I began to see that grown-ups did not have to take care of babies in that way, that babies would learn to sit up in their own time and at their own pace, when they were ready to do so. Seeing babies as capable and letting them learn to solve problems and overcome barriers allows them to develop the confidence and competence they will need for the rest of their lives. Janet helped me to see that gaining confidence and building competence begin much earlier than grown-ups realize. She taught me how to trust, how to observe what babies can do and are trying to do by and for themselves — to wait until baby shows us “I’m ready to do this and I can do it myself!” Janet also taught me to pay attention to when a baby is telling me what NOT to do.
Copyright © Dimensions Educational Research Foundation All rights reserved. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. Visit us at www.ChildCareExchange.com or call (800) 221-2864.
A MANNER OF SPEAKING
www.ChildCareExchange.com
This lesson was brought home to me when I wrote an article for Exchange called “Learning to Walk.” It began with a greatnephew of mine who I loved to pick up and carry around. I would just go find him, scoop him up, and walk all over the house with him, not paying any attention to what he may have been involved with or engaged in when I went to find him. I went to find him one day at a family dinner when he first started learning to walk. He was toddling down the hall in my direction so I held out my arms to go pick him up. He stared at me for a second and then turned around and started ‘running away’ in that awkward, unbalanced baby ‘fast walk’ to move away from me and go do what he wanted to do! I realized in that moment that he had changed forever and that I would not be taking him away from his own tasks and goals. I thought of Janet as I let go of the notion that I could be in charge of my great-nephew’s daily experiences for my own pleasure. He was capable — more capable than I thought at the time and allowed him to be. Thank you, Janet. Luis Hernandez: In the magic of relationships, my friendship with Janet is all about admiration, reverence, and laughter. First, she pushes and challenges my thinking by gently showing paths, and spaces beyond usual thinking, constructs, and assumptions. Janet led me to new understandings in the fascinating development and learning of infants and toddlers. Listening to Janet talk about young children is to become infected (in a good way) with her contagious excitement and curiosity. Janet provides the ECE field the sensitivity and knowledge to examine the intertwined dynamics of culture and language as they impact children and their families adapting to a new country. Due to her dedication and delivery, we are richer in our approaches and practices with generations of children learning English and discovering new horizons and friends. But I reserve my greatest gratitude for how Janet provided me with the confidence and fire to write. As we began our initial plans to collaboratively write Learning from Bumps in the Road (Redleaf Press, 2013), she insisted: “Of course you can do it!” No room or space for doubt. And together with Janet, Holly, and Debra we created a book. There’s nothing like flying all the way to New Zealand and having someone ask to autograph ‘your’ book. Janet Gonzalez-Mena is being honored as a Doyen of Early Care and Education through the Exchange Leadership Initiative. November Exchange will share several Doyens to be honored for a lifetime of commitment to young children and their families. Exchange’s search for powerful leaders and recognition of leadership continues.
SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017
93
EXCHANGE
As to laughter — many times over. I love the fact that I can still shock Janet by doing some group dynamic with, say, 400 people, and they all have a good time dancing, talking, laughing. “Just how did you do that?!” Janet may say. Thank you Janet! You keep my passion flowing. Please keep pushing me! Intisar Shareef: My experience with Janet started as a co-trainer doing Head Start trainings. Janet later asked me to join her in presenting trainings for PITC. She was very up-front about her concern that there was a lack of input from people of color and she felt the need to do something to make a change. That has been my experience of Janet. She is not afraid to speak her truth and she makes sure the voices of marginalized individuals are heard. She is a warrior woman. Holly Elissa Bruno: Janet, you had me at: “I fell in love.” “I walked into the infant room and I fell in love,” you said, your voice soft as a lullaby and your smile, gentle, genuine, generously soft-hearted. How could we in the audience not believe you? Everything in your being whispered, “I’m in love.” We all know Janet Gonzalez-Mena, renowned textbook author and international thought leader. We all knew your stand against white privilege, your dedication to the Emmi Pikler approach, your soothingly conversational style of writing. What I, at least, did not know was that I was listening to a prophetic yet quiet thunderbolt, clothed in a flowing blue and purple dress. A quiet thunderbolt whose keynoting style is simple: be yourself. I had never heard a speaker like you, Janet. You virtually whispered to us. You never assumed superiority. Your slides were pictures of children you knew. If you made a mistake, you laughed at yourself and went on without embarrassment. You are the same person as a keynoter that you are sitting beside me. Your authenticity and transparency touch my heart, Janet. Without your mentoring and modeling, I would not have known that I, too, could keynote directly from my heart, co-creating spaces with participants wherein we all become explorers. Explorers who sing, dance, laugh, and yes, cry, our way to understanding together. I fell in love. Bonnie Neugebauer is founding editor of Exchange magazine and co-founder of the World Forum Foundation. You’re invited to visit Bonnie’s Global Café: WorldForumFoundation.org/cafe WorldForumFoundation.org/cafe
