Being an Emotionally Intelligent Leader
Being an Emotionally Intelligent Leader Employee Management Conference November 2011
The Challenge . . . ―We are being judged by a NEW YARDSTICK; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.‖ Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services
Emotions – The “NEW” Yardstick
We have been conditioned to keep emotions out of the work place. High IQ has been the standard.
However, study after study has demonstrated that high IQ doesn’t necessarily predict future success.
In fact, low Emotional Intelligence can shut down the IQ abilities you may have.
Why Should Leaders Develop EI? Research
has found…
20-25% of success can come from IQ 20-25% of success can come from competency/skill development 50-60% of success can come from EI
In fact… IQ is inadequate in predicting success in the real world; EI gives you an edge
What
will distinguish an organization is its ability to use its people to attract and retain workers, to promote creativity and build client relationships.
The Competencies of Emotional Intelligence • Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
“The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.”
Thomas Carlyle
Self-Awareness
Our ability to accurately recognize our emotions as they happen and understand how we respond to different people and situations.
What trips your trigger?
Self-Awareness
Try to discover why you react the way you do:
•
Tune in to your emotions, self beliefs and self-talk.
•
Understand your responses, why positive or negative.
•
Why do you tend to react this way?
•
Visualize yourself…what would you like to do differently?
Self-Regulation
Our response to our self-awareness. It is both restraining oneself and activating oneself.
Emotional Hijacking Do Your Emotions Manage You…
OR Do You Manage Your Emotions?
Self-Regulation • • •
Take the reins and quit letting your emotions lead you around! Listen—always let others finish speaking Step back/reframe—envision a different response Positive ―mindset‖
• •
(Be cautious of negative ―self talk‖)
Strive to act intentionally rather than reactively. Anger—don’t deny it; reframe it; impose time out
Self-Motivation
Our ability to take responsibility for ourselves, and manage or overcome our weaknesses or setbacks.
Self-Motivation •
• • • • •
Recognize that emotions affect your performance When a setback strikes, resist asking ―What’s wrong with me?‖ Instead, ask ―What can I fix?‖ Focus on what you do well and do more of it Pretend like you have lots of self-confidence Seek out opportunities Break down a larger goal into steps
Assessment
Complete the first 2 sections only
Self-Awareness Self-Management
• Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
Empathy
Recognizing and responding appropriately to the actions, needs and emotions of others.
Empathy
Empathy Traits – One-on-one
•
Attention - only on the person.
•
Say nothing and let the person talk.
•
Let the person know you are listening – nod, ―uh-huh.‖ Summarize or paraphrase.
•
Describe what person is feeling – ―You are pretty upset about the change.‖
•
Ask open-ended questions to enhance your understanding.
•
Help person sort out what to do – ―What do you think you should do now?‖
Effective Relationships
The ability to induce desirable results in others
including clear communication, conflict management, and bolstering peoples abilities
Effective Relationships • • • •
Talk with your coworkers about their interests and aspirations. Observe whom you think are inspirational or good presenters and analyze why they seem to be effective. Try building consensus and support for team goals Work on conflict management skills
Assessment
Complete the last 2 sections
Awareness of Others Relating to Others
• Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.
Thank you!
TODD MCDONALD ATW Training & Consulting 515-727-0731 [email protected]
The Challenge . . . ―We are being judged by a NEW YARDSTICK; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.‖ Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services
Emotions – The “NEW” Yardstick
We have been conditioned to keep emotions out of the work place. High IQ has been the standard.
However, study after study has demonstrated that high IQ doesn’t necessarily predict future success.
In fact, low Emotional Intelligence can shut down the IQ abilities you may have.
Why Should Leaders Develop EI? Research
has found…
20-25% of success can come from IQ 20-25% of success can come from competency/skill development 50-60% of success can come from EI
In fact… IQ is inadequate in predicting success in the real world; EI gives you an edge
What
will distinguish an organization is its ability to use its people to attract and retain workers, to promote creativity and build client relationships.
The Competencies of Emotional Intelligence • Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
“The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.”
Thomas Carlyle
Self-Awareness
Our ability to accurately recognize our emotions as they happen and understand how we respond to different people and situations.
What trips your trigger?
Self-Awareness
Try to discover why you react the way you do:
•
Tune in to your emotions, self beliefs and self-talk.
•
Understand your responses, why positive or negative.
•
Why do you tend to react this way?
•
Visualize yourself…what would you like to do differently?
Self-Regulation
Our response to our self-awareness. It is both restraining oneself and activating oneself.
Emotional Hijacking Do Your Emotions Manage You…
OR Do You Manage Your Emotions?
Self-Regulation • • •
Take the reins and quit letting your emotions lead you around! Listen—always let others finish speaking Step back/reframe—envision a different response Positive ―mindset‖
• •
(Be cautious of negative ―self talk‖)
Strive to act intentionally rather than reactively. Anger—don’t deny it; reframe it; impose time out
Self-Motivation
Our ability to take responsibility for ourselves, and manage or overcome our weaknesses or setbacks.
Self-Motivation •
• • • • •
Recognize that emotions affect your performance When a setback strikes, resist asking ―What’s wrong with me?‖ Instead, ask ―What can I fix?‖ Focus on what you do well and do more of it Pretend like you have lots of self-confidence Seek out opportunities Break down a larger goal into steps
Assessment
Complete the first 2 sections only
Self-Awareness Self-Management
• Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
Empathy
Recognizing and responding appropriately to the actions, needs and emotions of others.
Empathy
Empathy Traits – One-on-one
•
Attention - only on the person.
•
Say nothing and let the person talk.
•
Let the person know you are listening – nod, ―uh-huh.‖ Summarize or paraphrase.
•
Describe what person is feeling – ―You are pretty upset about the change.‖
•
Ask open-ended questions to enhance your understanding.
•
Help person sort out what to do – ―What do you think you should do now?‖
Effective Relationships
The ability to induce desirable results in others
including clear communication, conflict management, and bolstering peoples abilities
Effective Relationships • • • •
Talk with your coworkers about their interests and aspirations. Observe whom you think are inspirational or good presenters and analyze why they seem to be effective. Try building consensus and support for team goals Work on conflict management skills
Assessment
Complete the last 2 sections
Awareness of Others Relating to Others
• Self-Awareness • Self-Regulation
Relating to Ourselves
• Self-Motivation
• Empathy Relating to Others • Effective Relationships
If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.
Thank you!
TODD MCDONALD ATW Training & Consulting 515-727-0731 [email protected]
