HELP IS WITHIN REACH
14 A MILLION REASONS TO LIVE
photo by k. moreland
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Community Healthcore CRISIS LINE
Twins discuss struggles with depression BY COLTON JOHNSON
feature editor
Our society tries to convince fretting minds to live in the moment. We idolize the future, sure. We try to plan our entire lives, but we always try to bring ourselves back to the present out of fear of watching it all go by. Well, people do that for the good times–the moments that they feel happy. But for Samantha Walker, there were no more of these good times to come back to. There were no ways of escape. There were no promises of hope or of better things to come. There was just the present–a world that was folding up on her. She made the decision Oct. 23, 2016, that it wasn’t worth it anymore. The suffering outweighed any good memory or any light her future held. She was stuck, and at the time the only way out seemed to be through the pills in the little orange bottle. It was easier that way. “In that moment, I wasn’t thinking about anything but the pain I was feeling,” Samantha said. “The thought hadn’t occurred to me that I might actually be hurting
A PERMANENT REMINDER Shara McRae, Ashlie McRae’s older sister, holds Ashlie’s picture and necklace while showing a tattoo inspired by one of Ashlie’s drawings. Ashlie passed away on May 28, 2016.
someone.” Samantha did not intend on surviving. She would come to find out that her decision left a far greater effect than she believed it would; especially for her twin sister, senior Savannah Walker. “When I got in the car Samantha was out of it. The pills were already in her system. She couldn’t even look at me,” Savannah said. “She’s my twin sister. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen something flash before your eyes, but my heart just broke. It was probably the saddest moment of my life.”
24 hours / 7 days a week 1-800-832-1009
Crisis Text Line Text “HELLO” to 741741
“Always talk to someone about it. Not everyone is going to ask for help though, and to those people, there’s a light that never goes out. There’s always something better around the corner. It’s always going to be better. It’s never going to be as bad as you think it will.” -Shara McRae
See MILLION on page 17
PAINTHAT Seniors Samantha and Savannah Walker have overcome their struggles with depression.
THE WARNING SIGNS BEHAVIOR • Increased use of alcohol or drugs • Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means • Acting recklessly • Withdrawing from activities • Isolating from family and friends • Sleeping too much or too little • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye • Giving away prized possessions • Aggression Source: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
15
in-depth
February 2017 • tigertimesonline.com
TALK
• Being a burden to others • Feeling trapped • Experiencing unbearable pain • Having no reason to live • Killing themselves
MOOD
• Depression • Loss of interest • Rage
BY COLTON JOHNSON
feature editor
S
hara, it’s your sister.” Her throat clenched up on itself, and her stomach dropped. “He either beat her or she’s dead,” she thought as she started the car. But she couldn’t be dead. It was impossible. It was impossible for the flashing blue and red lights to be there, in her own front yard, illuminating the solemn faces. It was impossible for her sister, who she had just seen hours earlier, full of life, to be reduced to silence. It was impossible. It was impossible. But it wasn’t impossible. It was her new reality, and it altered every photo that would someday be taken. Every memory that she would make. Every day, she would remember that there was something missing. Ashlie McRae took her own life on May 28, 2016. For her sister, 24-year-old Shara McRae, this was the day when the world stopped spinning. Suicide is the second leading cause of
death among teens, leaving many families like Shara’s to deal with the aftermath. “It’s been horrible,” McRae said. “It’s not like a car accident. It’s not something that you can ever have closure about.” For McRae, life turned into a perpetual state of anger–of wondering why. It consumed her, and she was left with nowhere to project the inconsolable storm of confusion. “You would think that death would be so easy, but it’s so complicated,” McRae said. “It comes with so much grief and so many different emotions, and I don’t feel like there’s any justice in it.” According to Shara, Ashlie had found herself in a bad relationship that made her feel worthless. She turned into someone she wasn’t. After Ashlie took her life, McRae found herself frozen, trying to find closure in a world that never seems to take a break from everyday life. While her axis may have stopped spinning, the world around her did not. “I think the hardest part about it was going back to my everyday life. Driving home, I
LASTS
FOREVER was looking around, and it’s so weird because everyone is going on in the world. They move on without you whether you can move on or not, whether you’re ready to or not,” McRae said. “They are fine, and you’re dying on the inside. I literally feel like part of myself died with her.” McRae’s confusion for Ashlie’s decision forced her take a step back to reevaluate–to overthink. Before, when the idea of suicide affecting someone she loved was impossible, she didn’t give it a second thought. Now, she could lose anyone. “I never would’ve thought this could happen in a million years, and after this, it could be anybody, so I’m worried about everybody. Me and my sister were just starting to really get close,” McRae said. “She was very alive. She was
such a warrior to me. She had that fire in her.” In the wake of the tragedy, McRae was soon confronted with the question of: What now? She was left trying to figure out how to begin a new chapter without her sister, and so she separated herself from the situation. She left it in the back of her mind, for a later date that she always seemed to push farther back on her calendar. “I went to therapy for a bit and so did my mom, and they put me on medicine, but I didn’t like it. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m scared to deal with it, so I ignore it. I’m scared to go through that because I know you have stages,” McRae said. “There’s a lot of things you have to think about. Like she’s not gonna be there for See Pain on page 17
HELP IS WITHIN REACH BY ANNA CANNON
editor-in-chief
In 2003, suicide was the third leading cause of death of teenagers ages 10-24. As of now, it is the second leading cause of death. There isn’t an exact reason for the increase in suicide, but there has been an increase in efforts to stop it. Still, the subject remains taboo, and as a result, a lot of misunderstanding surrounds it. There is no definite cause of suicide. Unlike a physical illness, there’s no specific virus or germ that can be blamed, but common denominators can help us understand better. Most suicide victims suffer from Major Depressive Disorder, better known as depression. Many victims also had biological differences in their brains. According to a study by researchers at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, many have an excess of serotonin receptors. An excess of serotonin (a neurotransmitter) can lead to impulsive behavior, faulty decision making and an increased risk of depression. Because we are born with all the serotonin receptors we’ll ever have, this is evidence that some people may be born with a biological predisposition toward suicide, and accounts for the fact that suicide often runs in families. Depression is the leading cause of teen suicide, but there are other risk factors to watch for. Traumatic life events, such as the death of a friend or family member, a serious breakup, or mental, physical or emotional abuse can be the catalyst for suicidal thoughts or actions. Substance abuse, anxiety disorders or other mental health problems–such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or eating disorders–greatly increase a teen’s risk of suicide. If you’re suicidal, the first step toward getting help is telling others. Talking to your best friend may be helpful, but unless they’re a trained mental health professional, you’re going to need more. The school counseling center, located near the south exit of the math and science building, is available to anyone who might be struggling with thoughts of suicide. From there, the counselors can put you in touch with trained psychiatrists and therapists. Helping a suicidal person is a team effort. There are several online resources that can be used to help diagnose or cope with mental illness. Just searching “depression test” or “anxiety test” will provide a range of See HELP on page 17
photo by k. moreland
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Community Healthcore CRISIS LINE
Twins discuss struggles with depression BY COLTON JOHNSON
feature editor
Our society tries to convince fretting minds to live in the moment. We idolize the future, sure. We try to plan our entire lives, but we always try to bring ourselves back to the present out of fear of watching it all go by. Well, people do that for the good times–the moments that they feel happy. But for Samantha Walker, there were no more of these good times to come back to. There were no ways of escape. There were no promises of hope or of better things to come. There was just the present–a world that was folding up on her. She made the decision Oct. 23, 2016, that it wasn’t worth it anymore. The suffering outweighed any good memory or any light her future held. She was stuck, and at the time the only way out seemed to be through the pills in the little orange bottle. It was easier that way. “In that moment, I wasn’t thinking about anything but the pain I was feeling,” Samantha said. “The thought hadn’t occurred to me that I might actually be hurting
A PERMANENT REMINDER Shara McRae, Ashlie McRae’s older sister, holds Ashlie’s picture and necklace while showing a tattoo inspired by one of Ashlie’s drawings. Ashlie passed away on May 28, 2016.
someone.” Samantha did not intend on surviving. She would come to find out that her decision left a far greater effect than she believed it would; especially for her twin sister, senior Savannah Walker. “When I got in the car Samantha was out of it. The pills were already in her system. She couldn’t even look at me,” Savannah said. “She’s my twin sister. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen something flash before your eyes, but my heart just broke. It was probably the saddest moment of my life.”
24 hours / 7 days a week 1-800-832-1009
Crisis Text Line Text “HELLO” to 741741
“Always talk to someone about it. Not everyone is going to ask for help though, and to those people, there’s a light that never goes out. There’s always something better around the corner. It’s always going to be better. It’s never going to be as bad as you think it will.” -Shara McRae
See MILLION on page 17
PAINTHAT Seniors Samantha and Savannah Walker have overcome their struggles with depression.
THE WARNING SIGNS BEHAVIOR • Increased use of alcohol or drugs • Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means • Acting recklessly • Withdrawing from activities • Isolating from family and friends • Sleeping too much or too little • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye • Giving away prized possessions • Aggression Source: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
15
in-depth
February 2017 • tigertimesonline.com
TALK
• Being a burden to others • Feeling trapped • Experiencing unbearable pain • Having no reason to live • Killing themselves
MOOD
• Depression • Loss of interest • Rage
BY COLTON JOHNSON
feature editor
S
hara, it’s your sister.” Her throat clenched up on itself, and her stomach dropped. “He either beat her or she’s dead,” she thought as she started the car. But she couldn’t be dead. It was impossible. It was impossible for the flashing blue and red lights to be there, in her own front yard, illuminating the solemn faces. It was impossible for her sister, who she had just seen hours earlier, full of life, to be reduced to silence. It was impossible. It was impossible. But it wasn’t impossible. It was her new reality, and it altered every photo that would someday be taken. Every memory that she would make. Every day, she would remember that there was something missing. Ashlie McRae took her own life on May 28, 2016. For her sister, 24-year-old Shara McRae, this was the day when the world stopped spinning. Suicide is the second leading cause of
death among teens, leaving many families like Shara’s to deal with the aftermath. “It’s been horrible,” McRae said. “It’s not like a car accident. It’s not something that you can ever have closure about.” For McRae, life turned into a perpetual state of anger–of wondering why. It consumed her, and she was left with nowhere to project the inconsolable storm of confusion. “You would think that death would be so easy, but it’s so complicated,” McRae said. “It comes with so much grief and so many different emotions, and I don’t feel like there’s any justice in it.” According to Shara, Ashlie had found herself in a bad relationship that made her feel worthless. She turned into someone she wasn’t. After Ashlie took her life, McRae found herself frozen, trying to find closure in a world that never seems to take a break from everyday life. While her axis may have stopped spinning, the world around her did not. “I think the hardest part about it was going back to my everyday life. Driving home, I
LASTS
FOREVER was looking around, and it’s so weird because everyone is going on in the world. They move on without you whether you can move on or not, whether you’re ready to or not,” McRae said. “They are fine, and you’re dying on the inside. I literally feel like part of myself died with her.” McRae’s confusion for Ashlie’s decision forced her take a step back to reevaluate–to overthink. Before, when the idea of suicide affecting someone she loved was impossible, she didn’t give it a second thought. Now, she could lose anyone. “I never would’ve thought this could happen in a million years, and after this, it could be anybody, so I’m worried about everybody. Me and my sister were just starting to really get close,” McRae said. “She was very alive. She was
such a warrior to me. She had that fire in her.” In the wake of the tragedy, McRae was soon confronted with the question of: What now? She was left trying to figure out how to begin a new chapter without her sister, and so she separated herself from the situation. She left it in the back of her mind, for a later date that she always seemed to push farther back on her calendar. “I went to therapy for a bit and so did my mom, and they put me on medicine, but I didn’t like it. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m scared to deal with it, so I ignore it. I’m scared to go through that because I know you have stages,” McRae said. “There’s a lot of things you have to think about. Like she’s not gonna be there for See Pain on page 17
HELP IS WITHIN REACH BY ANNA CANNON
editor-in-chief
In 2003, suicide was the third leading cause of death of teenagers ages 10-24. As of now, it is the second leading cause of death. There isn’t an exact reason for the increase in suicide, but there has been an increase in efforts to stop it. Still, the subject remains taboo, and as a result, a lot of misunderstanding surrounds it. There is no definite cause of suicide. Unlike a physical illness, there’s no specific virus or germ that can be blamed, but common denominators can help us understand better. Most suicide victims suffer from Major Depressive Disorder, better known as depression. Many victims also had biological differences in their brains. According to a study by researchers at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, many have an excess of serotonin receptors. An excess of serotonin (a neurotransmitter) can lead to impulsive behavior, faulty decision making and an increased risk of depression. Because we are born with all the serotonin receptors we’ll ever have, this is evidence that some people may be born with a biological predisposition toward suicide, and accounts for the fact that suicide often runs in families. Depression is the leading cause of teen suicide, but there are other risk factors to watch for. Traumatic life events, such as the death of a friend or family member, a serious breakup, or mental, physical or emotional abuse can be the catalyst for suicidal thoughts or actions. Substance abuse, anxiety disorders or other mental health problems–such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or eating disorders–greatly increase a teen’s risk of suicide. If you’re suicidal, the first step toward getting help is telling others. Talking to your best friend may be helpful, but unless they’re a trained mental health professional, you’re going to need more. The school counseling center, located near the south exit of the math and science building, is available to anyone who might be struggling with thoughts of suicide. From there, the counselors can put you in touch with trained psychiatrists and therapists. Helping a suicidal person is a team effort. There are several online resources that can be used to help diagnose or cope with mental illness. Just searching “depression test” or “anxiety test” will provide a range of See HELP on page 17
