One Small Step
( SELF )
WORT H
ONE SMALL STEP
Sometimes the hardest part of completing a long-term project is starting it. Try these tips for making that first (seriously productive!) move. BY KRISTIN CANNING Whether it’s a career change, a new skill you’re trying to master, or a big presentation lingering on your to-do list, we often delay complex projects only to later realize they weren’t quite as impossible as we’d imagined. So what’s standing in the way? According to Sam Bennett, author of Start Right Where You Are, if we can’t visualize every stage from start to finish,
Illustrated by OWEN GILDERSLEEVE
we’re often too scared to jump in: “In school we’re taught to know the answers before we’re tested.” But we don’t always need to think that far ahead. Taking just one stride toward an achievement can give you the momentum you need to keep going—and might even clarify what comes next. These ideas will help you make major headway, step-by-step. STEP > 63
NOVEMBER 2016
SELF
59
( SELF ) WO R T H PINPOINT YOUR GOALS While it’s not essential to know exactly how to reach your target, understanding what you’re aiming for is key. Once in a while, step back and ask yourself what you really want in your life and career, Bennett says. It will help you notice which smaller projects align with your long-term goals. “If that question is overwhelming, try ‘How can I make this job, presentation, or apartment more me?’” she says. That will help get to the root of what’s important to you.
NEXT, THINK SMALL It’s easier to get from A to B than from A to Z, so slice projects into smaller, executable assignments. Bennett suggests setting a “minimum daily requirement.” Think of a short amount of time you could spend working on your project every day, then cut that time in half. Or pick an obligation so tiny, you’re almost sure to do it. (For example, send one goal-related email every day.) “It’s less intimidating,” she says, so you’re more likely to make steady progress. Plus, a sense of achievement can drive you to keep getting stuff done.
PROP STYLING, VANESSA BARRANTES AT BERNSTEIN & ANDRIULLI.
HACK YOUR TO-DO LIST There will always be some tasks we find less exciting than others. But carving out time for work you truly enjoy can make those must-dos feel less overwhelming, says Bennett. If you love face time with colleagues, schedule one networking lunch per month. If creative thinking is your forte, move a brainstorming sesh closer to the top of your list. Feeling fulfilled will give you the energy, and momentum, you need to tackle the rest.
Photographed by TIM HOUT
YOU CAN HOST US FOR THE WEEK, RIGHT? CAN YOU MAKE A DESSERT? AND ENTRÉES?
SO, WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING ON TYING THE KNOT?
P ERS ONAL BEST
OUT OF BOUNDS
Setting a few boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s healthy—and it’s essential to enjoying (actually) happy holidays with the ones you love most. The key is saying no with grace, whether to your family, friends, or umpteenth invite. Here’s how. BE KIND, DECLINE
CHANGE THE SUBJECT
OWN YOUR DECISIONS
The holidays are a great time for traditions. But maybe you’re not up for hosting your annual reunion or bringing your signature pie to dinner this year. The best way to break the news is to convey your willingness to pitch in another way, says psychologist Shawn Meghan Burn, Ph.D. Try “I know I’ve always done x, but I hope you’ll understand it’s too much for me. Can I do y instead?”
“For the sake of harmony, save any heavy discussions for another time,” says psychologist Christine Carter, Ph.D. So if someone brings up a contentious topic, acknowledge his or her feelings, then quickly move on. “Thanks for the concern. Anyway, what are your New Year’s plans?” for example. “Changing the subject makes it easy for people to respect your boundaries,” says Carter.
“Remember that you don’t have to have dinner with a relative you don’t get along with. You choose to,” Carter says. Reframing your decision that way reminds you that you’re in control—and can help you figure out which compromises are right for you. Think, I choose to go because I want to see other family. And if you truly can’t come up with a reason, it might be time to nix the activity.
NOVEMBER 2016
SELF
63
WORT H
ONE SMALL STEP
Sometimes the hardest part of completing a long-term project is starting it. Try these tips for making that first (seriously productive!) move. BY KRISTIN CANNING Whether it’s a career change, a new skill you’re trying to master, or a big presentation lingering on your to-do list, we often delay complex projects only to later realize they weren’t quite as impossible as we’d imagined. So what’s standing in the way? According to Sam Bennett, author of Start Right Where You Are, if we can’t visualize every stage from start to finish,
Illustrated by OWEN GILDERSLEEVE
we’re often too scared to jump in: “In school we’re taught to know the answers before we’re tested.” But we don’t always need to think that far ahead. Taking just one stride toward an achievement can give you the momentum you need to keep going—and might even clarify what comes next. These ideas will help you make major headway, step-by-step. STEP > 63
NOVEMBER 2016
SELF
59
( SELF ) WO R T H PINPOINT YOUR GOALS While it’s not essential to know exactly how to reach your target, understanding what you’re aiming for is key. Once in a while, step back and ask yourself what you really want in your life and career, Bennett says. It will help you notice which smaller projects align with your long-term goals. “If that question is overwhelming, try ‘How can I make this job, presentation, or apartment more me?’” she says. That will help get to the root of what’s important to you.
NEXT, THINK SMALL It’s easier to get from A to B than from A to Z, so slice projects into smaller, executable assignments. Bennett suggests setting a “minimum daily requirement.” Think of a short amount of time you could spend working on your project every day, then cut that time in half. Or pick an obligation so tiny, you’re almost sure to do it. (For example, send one goal-related email every day.) “It’s less intimidating,” she says, so you’re more likely to make steady progress. Plus, a sense of achievement can drive you to keep getting stuff done.
PROP STYLING, VANESSA BARRANTES AT BERNSTEIN & ANDRIULLI.
HACK YOUR TO-DO LIST There will always be some tasks we find less exciting than others. But carving out time for work you truly enjoy can make those must-dos feel less overwhelming, says Bennett. If you love face time with colleagues, schedule one networking lunch per month. If creative thinking is your forte, move a brainstorming sesh closer to the top of your list. Feeling fulfilled will give you the energy, and momentum, you need to tackle the rest.
Photographed by TIM HOUT
YOU CAN HOST US FOR THE WEEK, RIGHT? CAN YOU MAKE A DESSERT? AND ENTRÉES?
SO, WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING ON TYING THE KNOT?
P ERS ONAL BEST
OUT OF BOUNDS
Setting a few boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s healthy—and it’s essential to enjoying (actually) happy holidays with the ones you love most. The key is saying no with grace, whether to your family, friends, or umpteenth invite. Here’s how. BE KIND, DECLINE
CHANGE THE SUBJECT
OWN YOUR DECISIONS
The holidays are a great time for traditions. But maybe you’re not up for hosting your annual reunion or bringing your signature pie to dinner this year. The best way to break the news is to convey your willingness to pitch in another way, says psychologist Shawn Meghan Burn, Ph.D. Try “I know I’ve always done x, but I hope you’ll understand it’s too much for me. Can I do y instead?”
“For the sake of harmony, save any heavy discussions for another time,” says psychologist Christine Carter, Ph.D. So if someone brings up a contentious topic, acknowledge his or her feelings, then quickly move on. “Thanks for the concern. Anyway, what are your New Year’s plans?” for example. “Changing the subject makes it easy for people to respect your boundaries,” says Carter.
“Remember that you don’t have to have dinner with a relative you don’t get along with. You choose to,” Carter says. Reframing your decision that way reminds you that you’re in control—and can help you figure out which compromises are right for you. Think, I choose to go because I want to see other family. And if you truly can’t come up with a reason, it might be time to nix the activity.
NOVEMBER 2016
SELF
63
