Permission to Smile
FEATURE MAY 2012
MAY 2012 FEATURE
Permission to Smile By Cassy Small
y
T
he tragic story of Daniel Morcombe’s abduction and murder has touched us all and forever changed our attitude towards child safety. I recently met with his mother, Denise Morcombe and was offered a personal insight into the woman behind the world’s most untiring campaign and how, after all these years, she is again giving herself permission to smile. I arrived for my interview with Denise on a typically hot February morning. She is still in a meeting but pops out to see if I would like a glass of juice, a small motherly act that speaks volumes about the family environment Daniel was raised in. We all know too well the details surrounding the disappearance of Daniel Morcombe in 2003, and cried in our living rooms at his parents' heartfelt pleas for information in the subsequent eight years. With an arrest made in August 2011 of the person accused of his murder and the discovery of Daniels remains shortly after, it was assumed that perhaps this would finally mean some peace and closure for the Morcombe family. But thanks to an outpouring of support, The Daniel Morcombe Foundation will continue to spread its message of child safety. ‘On August 13 last year the foundation really exploded’, explains Denise, ‘before then it was just me, Bruce and the committee.’ Denise refers to ‘The Foundation’ often. It is clear that its existence is the focus that this mother needs to survive the unthinkable. ‘What
16 www.InsightMagazine.com.au
happened to Daniel is not right. We have to get out there to tell the kids and their parents. Our message is no different to what anyone has said before, but the kids relate to Daniel, he was a real boy just like them.’ Denise describes Daniel as being a shy boy. Best friends with both his brothers, he enjoyed riding his motorbike and was good at maths. ‘He was just a good kid,’ says Denise. Daniel would now be 22, a young man. An image far removed from the photo ingrained in our memories of the 13-year-old boy with the cheeky smile. ‘Who knows what he would have become. He loved animals, so maybe a vet. We will never know.’ The sadness in her eyes when she speaks of Daniel defies ordinary comprehension. Her weariness is beyond ordinary too, as if she knows a kind of tiredness from which sleep offers no respite or remedy. How she survives, not even she knows. ‘People say we will collapse if we keep going like this. We have not yet, but we have not been through the trial either,’ Denise says apprehensively. At this, I remind Denise of the countless scenarios she must have saved children from, simply by the extensive coverage of Daniel's story. To Denise, the pride she feels in this makes it all worthwhile. ‘We love talking to the kids. We are always getting cards and photos from the kids all dressed in their red. It really helps.’ It is clear that her work with the foundation is her purpose now. This is a profound change from the woman who previously had very little community involvement. Prior to Daniels disappearance life revolved around a very typical suburban lifestyle, work and family. Today Denise is in constant communication with schools, community groups and politicians. ‘If you had asked me to speak in public eight years ago I would have said no way. To me everyone should be treated the same whether it is a school kid or a politician. They all deserve the same respect.’ Her philosophy on life and her answer to the big question (why me?) is honestly raw, ‘We have been dealt a pretty crap hand. But you cannot go back in time and change what has happened.’ Like all mothers, Denise is working tirelessly on the cause closest to her heart, her son. This gives her purpose, strength and fortitude despite the most painful of hurdles. Her husband Bruce meanders by occasionally, keeping a protective ear on our conversation. The solidarity of their relationship is apparent and Denise says that Bruce helps to keep her strong. ‘We have worked together since 1992 and spending 24 hours a day together has its moments,’ she chuckles, ‘but you have to have a laugh about it. We go just about everywhere together.’ Denise has a wicked little laugh and shares with me her love for a good joke. ‘For a long time we did not know if we were allowed to laugh, but you have to,’ she says. ‘You cannot be serious all the time and walk around crying all day. I do not want to, that is not what we do. You have to be able to have a joke and a laugh.’ Denise Morcombe’s smile is rarely shown in the media coverage surrounding her family. I feel privileged to be in a room when it fills with her laughter. It is a moving reminder that while life may never be the same, it can still go on despite unimaginable loss. One can hope to never have a complete understanding of the mindset it takes to survive your worst nightmare. How would we really stand up if our worst nightmare became our daily reality? Denise Morcombe is a woman on a mission to make sure the rest of us never have to find out.
THE DANIEL MORCOMBE FOUNDATION ‘HELP ME’ APP is a great way to help keep kids safe. It also provides a range of helpful resources and assistance that is designed to educate kids and parents on how to keep safe, plus stay updated on the latest news! It offers safety and assistance for children and reassurance for parents and adults.
Cassy Small is a freelance writer and co-owner of PR and events company, Big Fish Planning. With a background in the competitive media and events industries, Big Fish Planning specialise in customised solutions to make you the biggest fish in your pond. www.bigfishplanning.com.au
IT’S EASY TO USE… CREATE YOUR SAFETY NETWORK - Store ‘safety’ mobile phone numbers for your contacts to form a Trusted Safety Network. MAJOR SAFETY FEATURE - The ‘Help Me’ button sounds a warning and allows you to send off an SMS text to two of your nominated safety numbers. Included in the text are GPS coordinates from where the text was sent, so the sender can be located or a last known place of contact is indicated. OTHER GREAT FEATURES - An easy to use ‘Notes’ page to simply record important details that can be stored for later recall. Also ‘Helpful Numbers’ commonly required for assistance. Beside, children, this App can be useful for the elderly, shift workers, recreational enthusiasts, pregnant women, people with medical conditions and backpackers. Day For Daniel 26th October and the website www.dayfordaniel.com.au
www.InsightMagazine.com.au
17
MAY 2012 FEATURE
Permission to Smile By Cassy Small
y
T
he tragic story of Daniel Morcombe’s abduction and murder has touched us all and forever changed our attitude towards child safety. I recently met with his mother, Denise Morcombe and was offered a personal insight into the woman behind the world’s most untiring campaign and how, after all these years, she is again giving herself permission to smile. I arrived for my interview with Denise on a typically hot February morning. She is still in a meeting but pops out to see if I would like a glass of juice, a small motherly act that speaks volumes about the family environment Daniel was raised in. We all know too well the details surrounding the disappearance of Daniel Morcombe in 2003, and cried in our living rooms at his parents' heartfelt pleas for information in the subsequent eight years. With an arrest made in August 2011 of the person accused of his murder and the discovery of Daniels remains shortly after, it was assumed that perhaps this would finally mean some peace and closure for the Morcombe family. But thanks to an outpouring of support, The Daniel Morcombe Foundation will continue to spread its message of child safety. ‘On August 13 last year the foundation really exploded’, explains Denise, ‘before then it was just me, Bruce and the committee.’ Denise refers to ‘The Foundation’ often. It is clear that its existence is the focus that this mother needs to survive the unthinkable. ‘What
16 www.InsightMagazine.com.au
happened to Daniel is not right. We have to get out there to tell the kids and their parents. Our message is no different to what anyone has said before, but the kids relate to Daniel, he was a real boy just like them.’ Denise describes Daniel as being a shy boy. Best friends with both his brothers, he enjoyed riding his motorbike and was good at maths. ‘He was just a good kid,’ says Denise. Daniel would now be 22, a young man. An image far removed from the photo ingrained in our memories of the 13-year-old boy with the cheeky smile. ‘Who knows what he would have become. He loved animals, so maybe a vet. We will never know.’ The sadness in her eyes when she speaks of Daniel defies ordinary comprehension. Her weariness is beyond ordinary too, as if she knows a kind of tiredness from which sleep offers no respite or remedy. How she survives, not even she knows. ‘People say we will collapse if we keep going like this. We have not yet, but we have not been through the trial either,’ Denise says apprehensively. At this, I remind Denise of the countless scenarios she must have saved children from, simply by the extensive coverage of Daniel's story. To Denise, the pride she feels in this makes it all worthwhile. ‘We love talking to the kids. We are always getting cards and photos from the kids all dressed in their red. It really helps.’ It is clear that her work with the foundation is her purpose now. This is a profound change from the woman who previously had very little community involvement. Prior to Daniels disappearance life revolved around a very typical suburban lifestyle, work and family. Today Denise is in constant communication with schools, community groups and politicians. ‘If you had asked me to speak in public eight years ago I would have said no way. To me everyone should be treated the same whether it is a school kid or a politician. They all deserve the same respect.’ Her philosophy on life and her answer to the big question (why me?) is honestly raw, ‘We have been dealt a pretty crap hand. But you cannot go back in time and change what has happened.’ Like all mothers, Denise is working tirelessly on the cause closest to her heart, her son. This gives her purpose, strength and fortitude despite the most painful of hurdles. Her husband Bruce meanders by occasionally, keeping a protective ear on our conversation. The solidarity of their relationship is apparent and Denise says that Bruce helps to keep her strong. ‘We have worked together since 1992 and spending 24 hours a day together has its moments,’ she chuckles, ‘but you have to have a laugh about it. We go just about everywhere together.’ Denise has a wicked little laugh and shares with me her love for a good joke. ‘For a long time we did not know if we were allowed to laugh, but you have to,’ she says. ‘You cannot be serious all the time and walk around crying all day. I do not want to, that is not what we do. You have to be able to have a joke and a laugh.’ Denise Morcombe’s smile is rarely shown in the media coverage surrounding her family. I feel privileged to be in a room when it fills with her laughter. It is a moving reminder that while life may never be the same, it can still go on despite unimaginable loss. One can hope to never have a complete understanding of the mindset it takes to survive your worst nightmare. How would we really stand up if our worst nightmare became our daily reality? Denise Morcombe is a woman on a mission to make sure the rest of us never have to find out.
THE DANIEL MORCOMBE FOUNDATION ‘HELP ME’ APP is a great way to help keep kids safe. It also provides a range of helpful resources and assistance that is designed to educate kids and parents on how to keep safe, plus stay updated on the latest news! It offers safety and assistance for children and reassurance for parents and adults.
Cassy Small is a freelance writer and co-owner of PR and events company, Big Fish Planning. With a background in the competitive media and events industries, Big Fish Planning specialise in customised solutions to make you the biggest fish in your pond. www.bigfishplanning.com.au
IT’S EASY TO USE… CREATE YOUR SAFETY NETWORK - Store ‘safety’ mobile phone numbers for your contacts to form a Trusted Safety Network. MAJOR SAFETY FEATURE - The ‘Help Me’ button sounds a warning and allows you to send off an SMS text to two of your nominated safety numbers. Included in the text are GPS coordinates from where the text was sent, so the sender can be located or a last known place of contact is indicated. OTHER GREAT FEATURES - An easy to use ‘Notes’ page to simply record important details that can be stored for later recall. Also ‘Helpful Numbers’ commonly required for assistance. Beside, children, this App can be useful for the elderly, shift workers, recreational enthusiasts, pregnant women, people with medical conditions and backpackers. Day For Daniel 26th October and the website www.dayfordaniel.com.au
www.InsightMagazine.com.au
17
