Realtionship Top Trumps

 

R E L A T I O N S H I P   T O P   T R U M P S   Time  needed   Age  range   Background  of  teen   Set  up  

30  minutes   Any  teen   Any  background  can  participate  in  this  club,  no  previous  knowledge  needed   Groups  of  6  or  so  

Goals:   JSUers  will  consider  what  characteristics  they  value  most  in  relationships  and  why.       Relevance:   People  are  preoccupied  with  relationships,  it  is  important  for  teens  to  explore,  consider  and  think  about   what  values  they  place  on  particular  characteristics  they  seek  in  friendships  and  relationships.  This  club   can  focus  on  relationships  or  indeed  friendships  too.    The  club  will  encourage  teens  to  think  about  the   differences  in  what  they  seek  in  short  term  relationships  and  long  term  relationships.  Top  trumps  is  a   Active  L earning:   ACTIVITY  1  -­‐Top  trumps  game   Split  the  group  into  smaller  groups  of  6-­‐8  people.  Each  group  needs  a  set  of  precut  cards.   Groups  should  split  the  pack-­‐  not  looking  at  cards.   Teens  play  a  card,  (first  card  in  their  pile  without  looking)    the  group  decides  which  is  the  “best”  or  most   valuable  card.  E.g.  Money,  charisma  and  positive-­‐  they  choose  which  is  best.  The  person  with  the  “best”   card  takes  all.   Allow  the  groups  to  play  for  10  minutes  or  so.  Go  round  and  question  their  choices  ask  them  to  rationalize   their  decisions.     ACTIVITY  2   Groups  should  place  all  cards  face  up  on  the  table,  each  person  has  a  turn  to  take  a  card  work  in  turns  until   all  cards  are  gone.  Tell  the  teens  to  place  cards  face  up  on  the  table  in  front  of  them  in  order  of  importance.   Ask  them  to  discuss  who  in  the  group  has  the  best  set  and  why.     ACTIVITY  3   Put  all  the  cards  back  in  the  center  of  the  table   Each  person  should  write  down  the  4  most  important  cards  to  them   Then,  ask  teens  –  are  these  qualities  for  a  long  term  relationship  or  a  short  term?   Ask  them  to  redo  the  activity  on  the  back  of  the  sheet  for  long  term  if  they  were  thinking  of  short  term   before  and  vice  versa.  

Supplies  n eeded:  

1. Printed and cut sets of the “top trumps” (make enough for 1 per 6 people) 2. Paper 3. Pens Step  b y  s tep  p lanning:   Time   Facilitator  Activity   Teen  activity   5  mins   Split  the  group  into  manageable  sizes,  introduce  the     top  trumps  game  and  how  to  play  and  frame  the   session.   10  mins   Play  the  top  trumps  activity  1  game   Play  top  trumps  game   10  mins   Activity  2  or  3   Group  activity   5  mins     Facilitation  questions   Group  discussion   5  mins   Wrap  up  message       Facilitation  Q uestions:   v Why  are  there  differences  in  the  qualities  for  long  term  and  short  term  relationships?   v How  do  you  find  a  person  with  your  desired  qualities?   v How  do  you  know  they  have  these  qualities?   v What  issues  MUST  be  the  same  for  both  parties-­‐  Lead  to  children,  religion  and  other  major      factor?   v When  could  you  discuss  these  issues?   v Ask  them  how  one  could  find  out  first?  Why  would  this  be  beneficial?     Wrap  u p  m essage  a nd  T orah  t hought:       The  main  message  is  to  consider  all  relationships  and  friendships  we  invest  in  and  what  we  look  for  in   these  people  who  impact  our  lives.  Which  character  traits  are  we  looking  to  inform  and  enhance  our  lives   and  do  we  embody  positive  character  traits  too?     ‫ טז‬: ‫נה מסכת אבות פרק ה‬‫ מש‬  Pirkei  Avos  Chapter  5 :16   ‫נה‬‫כל אהבה שהיא תלויה בדבר בטל דבר בטלה אהבה ושאי‬ Any  love  which  is  dependent  on  something,  when   ‫נה בטלה לעולם איזו היא אהבה התלויה‬‫תלויה בדבר אי‬ the  'something'  ceases,  the  love  ceases.  Any  love   ‫נה תלויה בדבר זו אהבת‬‫נון ותמר ושאי‬‫בדבר זו אהבת אמ‬ which  is  not  dependent  on  anything  will  never   ‫נתן‬‫ דוד ויהו‬  cease.  What  is  a  love  which  is  dependent?  The  love   of  Amnon  for  Tamar.  And  which  is  not  dependent?   The  love  of  David  and  Yehonasan.     www.torah.org   Our  mishna  chose  Amnon  and  Tamar  as  a  classic  example  of  its  principle.  Amnon's  love  for  Tamar  was  not   just  dependent;  it  did  not  exist  at  all.  The  object  of  Amnon's  love  was  not  Tamar;  it  was  himself.  He  wanted   to  satisfy  his  own  physical  lusts.  And,  as  the  commentator  Rabbeinu  Yonah  points  out,  once  that  was  taken   care  of,  his  attraction  instantly  evaporated  -­‐-­‐  into  hatred  and  disgust,  revealing  itself  as  the  nothingness  it   had  always  been.   Love  based  upon  external  factors,  whether  lust,  money  or  prestige,  is  ultimately  selfish  rather  than  selfless.   I  love  this  person  because  I  feel  I  will  get  from  him  or  her.  This  is  not  love  -­‐-­‐  in  the  Jewish  sense.  It  is  self-­‐ interest.  When  the  self-­‐interest  is  no  longer  present,  the  love  will  be  exposed  as  the  empty  act  of  selfishness   it  was  all  along.        

         

Reliable

Attentive

Thoughtful

Outgoing

Intense

Adventurous

Neat

Chemistry

Hygenic

 

 

Right Height

Sense of humor

Healthy

Good Family

Stable

Healthy Self Esteem

Worldly

Good dress sense

Popular

 

 

Religious

Jewish

Spiritual

Sensitive

Respectful

Modest

Tolerant

Relaxed

Ambitious

   

 

Thinker

Loyal

Positive

Generous

Educated

Cheerful

Giving

Like minded

Passionate

 

Compassionate

Charismatic

Confident

Friendly

Rich

Selfless

Kind

Clever

Considerate