Tabitha Shuford PO Box 10055 Hollins University
The Deepest Blues Are Black A One-Act Play By Tabitha Shuford
Contact: Tabitha Shuford P.O Box 10055 Hollins University Roanoke VA, 24020 703-598-3740
Characters: Ilyse: 18 year old, African American female; just suffered a tragic incident involving her longtime best friend and recent partner. She is an emotional wreck. Tibby: 18 year old African American female; bubbly, positive, optimistic, and passionate. Michelle: 17 year old African American female; level-headed, slightly air-headed.
SCENE ONE
(The stage is warmly lit. There are three to four tables set around the stage. There are two girls total on stage, one girl placed at the table on center stage, the other two girls are sitting at a table on the right. There are Christmas-like decorations strewn around the props, and a chalk board placed toward the far left, closest to the audience with “Specials” written boldly on it; drinks listed below. Ilyse is sitting on the left side of the table, the right side empty. Ilyse looks down at her coffee cup, her posture sullen. Tibby is placed at the table far right, facing Ilyse. She looks concerned or conflicted. Michelle then enters from stage right, greeting Tibby by patting her on the shoulder. )
Michelle Hey girl, sorry I’m late! (She takes a seat on the opposite side of Tibby, blocking Ilyse from Tibby’s view. )
Tibby It’s about time you showed up. Where the hell have you been?
Michelle Sorry, sorry! My mom had me do a few chores last minute. But I’m here now! Tibby (playfully sarcastic) Yeah, I see that. Michelle What are you drinking? Looks good. Tibby Oh, uh, Mocha Iced Coffee. It’s really good, you should try it. Michelle I think I will. (sighs, relaxing in her seat) So what’s been up? Anything interesting happen while you were waiting for me? Tibby (single laugh) Ha, unfortunately, no, of course not. My life doesn’t get interesting until you show up. You know this. Michelle Ha, I guess you’re right. Man, I don’t know what I want yet. I think I might get what you have, it really does look good— (Michelle is interrupted as Tibby becomes startled, leaning her body to the side, spotting Ilyse, who is still messing over her beverage.)
Michelle Whoa, hey, Tibby, you okay?
(Tibby shushes her. Michelle is becoming confused.)
Michelle Yo, you’re acting weird, what the hell are you trying to look at? Tibby (loud whispering) Whoa, dude, hey, Michelle, look over there! Michelle (annoyed) Look over where? Tibby Over there! (she points discreetly) I think that’s Ilyse over there. Ilyse Trotter? Michelle (starts showing sudden interest) Wait, what? (Michelle starts to turn around, but Tibby stops her.) Tibby Don’t turn around, you’ll be obvious! And keep your voice low, geez! Michelle I don’t think she’s really paying any attention to us, Tibby--Tibby This is just so…weird…somehow… Michelle Well yeah, we haven’t seen her at school in such a long time. Tibby Well, after all she’s been through, I wouldn’t have gone to school, either. (she sighs) That poor girl…she must still be absolutely devastated…
Michelle Devastated? Devastated by what? Did something happen?
Tibby You mean, you haven’t heard? Michelle I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I pay absolutely no attention to the things that happen at our school. Like, at all. Tibby Oh, well, you’re probably right about that. Michelle …That wasn’t really an open invitation to agree, Tibby. Anyway, get back on topic. Tibby Stop distracting me, you know I’m easily distracted! (she looks around before bowing her head, closer to Michelle) Okay, listen. You remember Rebekah, right? Rebekah Ford? Michelle (her voice is now low as well)Rebekah Ford?...Sounds familiar. Tibby You know, Beck? She was in your Oceanography class, remember? Michelle Hmm..oh yeah! I think I remember her. She’s really chill. Tibby Yeah. From what I heard, she and Ilyse were dating. Michelle Officially?
Tibby Well, I mean, they were always together, so I’m sure they were together.
Michelle Y’know, just because you see two people together all the time doesn’t mean they’re together. Tibby You think I don’t know that? I saw them holding hands. That’s enough proof for me to believe it’s true. Michelle Just making sure you know the difference. Tibby You want me to clue you in or not? Michelle (apologetic) Sorry, sorry, continue. Tibby Okay, so yeah, Beck and Ilyse were dating. Like, they were seriously together. Our entire class pretty much predicted it would happen, I mean, they looked so cute together! Michelle Yeah, you’re right. I’ve seen them around, they are pretty adorable together. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen her in a while either. Beck, I mean. Tibby Well, there’s a reason for that. A few days after Thanksgiving break…Beck was hit by car. Michelle (gasps loudly) Wait, what?!
Tibby Keep it down! Michelle (her voice returns to a whisper) Sorry, I can’t help it! It’s just—this is a big deal, how come no one’s ever…how come I never heard about this?—
Tibby You were still out of town, remember? You came back a week late. Michelle Are you saying someone died the week I was absent? Oh, my god… Tibby I know, it’s pretty hard to think about. Michelle But how did she—what even— Tibby From what the news report said, she was walking home from Ilyse’s house and it was super dark outside. She was waiting to cross a street and was hit by a car that was driving incredibly too fast. The driver was drunk. Michelle Are you fucking kidding me? (she sounds annoyed, borderline upset)That’s ridiculous! I’m getting angry just thinking about it, do you know how unfair that is? Tibby I know how you feel. When I found that out, I was just was upset as you were. Beck was just innocently minding her own business, and bam, just like that… Michelle Well, what about Ilyse? Oh, god…She was the last one to see Beck, wasn’t she?
Tibby She was.
Michelle (she sighs, distressed) Oh god, oh god…that must have been…she must feel absolutely awful. Tibby You’re telling me…Ilyse hasn’t been at school since. We’ve all tried calling and sending letters to console her, but no one’s heard anything back from her. Michelle Well, I wouldn’t rush her but…at least you guys are trying. I bet she really needs a friend right now. I mean, since her closest friend is now…you know. Tibby Yeah, I know. I totally get it. Michelle But, what’s she doing here? I mean, after all that’s happened, I’d figure this would be the last place she’d want to be. Tibby You know, I’ve been wondering about that, too. I think it’s because she’s grieving. She’s probably visiting all the places she and Beck used to hang out at. Michelle Like a way to cope? Tibby I’m positive that’s why. She could also probably be in denial. She could still be in that first stage of grief. That’s the first stage, right? Michelle Yeah, that sounds about right. It’s still strange, though. I’d probably still be hiding in my room, if I were her--
Tibby It just sucks, you know? Your best friend dying all of a sudden like that—I mean, if you died, I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to cope, or who to talk to, if I wanted to talk at all. Michelle Yeah, I totally understand that. She—
Tibby I think I’m gonna go talk to her. Michelle Wait, what? Tibby I’ve been battling this back and forth while I was waiting for you. As soon as she walked in, I got this gut feeling to go talk to her. Michelle Okay, Tibs, I know you’re a kind, gentle person and all, but do you really think you should do something like that? Tibby Well, why not? Michelle I mean, what if she doesn’t wanna ‘talk’? She might snap at you unintentionally, especially if she’s in the first stage of grief. Tibby Trust me, I’ve thought about that possibility. I’ve gone through all the possible outcomes, actually. But, I figured that maybe she was lonely? What if no one has really talked to her since Beck died?
Michelle Well, like you said, people are reaching out to her—
Tibby But I mean, that’s not the same as seeing someone and talking to them face to face. Do you think anyone’s done that yet?
Michelle Ah, well, no... Tibby And you know why they haven’t? Because they probably thought the same thing that you just told me. Michelle …Okay, okay. You have a point. What all are you planning to do? Tibby Well, for starters, I’m gonna go over there. Michelle Okay, and then what? Tibby And then…well…I don’t know what to do after that. Michelle So basically, you’re just gonna wing the entire conversation and hope that you don’t fuck up? Tibby Well, it’s the only thing I really know how to do.
Michelle Well…(she sighs, defeated) If that’s what you’re gonna do, Tibby. You’re probably the only person I know who’s brave enough to do so.
Tibby Aw, Michelle, you really think so? Michelle Of course. If anyone could do it, it’d be you.
(Michelle begins to stand up slowly, making sure to quietly push in her chair.)
Michelle Here, I’m gonna run to the rest room. While I’m gone, you should go talk to Ilyse. Make sure no one steals my purse, okay? (Tibby begins to get up as well, laughing softly. She also quietly pushes in her chair.) Tibby Of course, wish me luck!
(Fades to black)
SCENE 2 (The stage is still warmly lit; The scene opens with Ilyse sitting at a table, on the left side. The right still empty. Tibby is placed in her seat on the far right, still facing Ilyse, looking nervous, and/or uncertain. Ilyse is still looking down at her drink, expression unreadable. After a few moments, Tibby stands up, pausing before walking over to Ilyse, cautiously. She stands before her, clearing her throat in order to get Ilyse’s attention.)
Tibby (Warily) Um…hey, Ilyse?
(Ilyse is silent, almost as if Tibby wasn’t there. Tibby coughs again, a bit louder than before.)
Tibby Um…Ilyse? Ilyse, helloooooo?
(Ilyse reacts ad if she had been brought of a daze, shaking her head as she came back to herself. She is startled by Ilyse, not realizing she was standing there before her. Ilyse slowly looks up at Tibby.)
Ilyse (her voice is small) Oh, uh, hi. Tibby Hi. Is uh, is anyone sitting with you? Ilyse (looks around as If confused) Um, no, I don’t think so. Tibby Do you mind if I sit with you? Ilyse Uh..I guess not. Tibby Thanks!
(Tibby takes the right seat across from Ilyse, slowly sitting down. She clasps her hands together on the table, clearly conflicted with how to start the conversation. Ilyse brings her head back down again, her hands fidgeting with the coffee cup in front of her.)
Tibby So…Ilyse. How’s everything going?
Ilyse Okay, I guess. Tibby (slightly taken aback) …okay…um..What brings you here? Well obviously you were probably craving coffee, right? Why else would you be here, hah…(awkward pause)…Anyway, what are you drinking? Is it one of those Starbucks Holiday specials? Ilyse Hot chocolate. Tibby Really? The regular kind? Or like, a special, like the peppermint mocha— Ilyse Just the regular kind. Tibby O..Oh. Okay, then, is that your favorite drink here?
Ilyse I guess so. It’s the only thing I ever get here. Tibby Wow. Even in the summer? Ilyse Yeah.
Tibby Wow, I’ve never tried it, but it must be really good if you’re willing to buy it during the summer.
Ilyse Beck would always make fun of me for it. Tibby Huh? Ilyse Beck. We would always come here, especially during the Holidays. And we’d get our regular drinks. She would get her specialty Eggnog Frappuccino, and I’d get my hot chocolate. She’d tease me, though. She’d say I could get better hot chocolate at 7-11 instead of overpaying here. She’d tell me to at least getting something fancy, like her Frappuccino, but she knows I don’t like eggnog nearly as much as she does. Tibby Well, I’m sure Beck was just— Ilyse She was right, you know. Tibby Huh? Right about wh—
Ilyse About the hot chocolate. At 7-11. It was cheaper. And it tasted better. I tried it the other night. I wish I got to try it with her. Before she…before she…
(Ilyse begins to fidget with the cup even more,physically becoming more unstable. Tibby is becoming uneasy, but still remains somewhat confident.)
Tibby Look…Ilyse, I know you’re probably going through a really tough time, but I— Ilyse (her tone is cold) What do you even want? Tibby (surprised) Huh? What do you mean? Ilyse I mean, why are you talking to me right now? We barely know each other. I don’t even know your name. Tibby Well, for starters, my name is Tibby. I just wanted to talk to you because I— Ilyse Because you feel sorry for me? Tibby What? Well, no, I— Ilyse Don’t pretend to care when you don’t. I was invisible until..And now you think just because…
Tibby That’s not at all what I’m trying to do, Ilyse. I just know it must be really hard to lose someone the way you did. I know there are many others out there who are trying to reach out to you— Ilyse Reach out to me? (she lets out a bitter laugh) Yeah, sure, they’re reaching out to me, with their sad little cards and pathetic apologies, acting like they know what its like, or how it feels, when they don’t. It’s disgusting.
Tibby But, Ilyse, I’m sure some of those people know exactly how you feel, and they’re just trying to reach out to you in order to help you. No one should have to go through a loss alone. They ‘re just worried about you. Like the people at school, they’re worried about you, Ilyse. They want to know that you’re okay, and they want to help. Beck had friends, too, and I’m sure they know about you. I’m sure they want to comfort you more than anything— Ilyse So what? What does it matter? Tibby Doesn’t it mean something to you? That all these people are trying to reach out to you, but you keep pushing them away? I mean, at least give some people a chance— Ilyse (her voice is rising in anger) Why should I? It doesn’t matter, they don’t really care! Some of these people don’t even know who I am, why should I give a fuck about what they do? It doesn’t matter! Tibby What do you mean it doesn’t matter? These people care, Ilyse! I know it’s hard— Ilyse I hate it when people say that. I’ve heard that so many times it makes me sick. You don’t know how hard it is. Until you lose the one you love, you have no fucking idea how hard it is to deal with.
Tibby Okay, Ilyse, maybe you’re right. I haven’t personally lost anyone close to me. And I know that that fact makes it hard for me to try and relate to you. But like I said before, there are people who have shared the same...misfortune. I’m sure if you just give them, anyone a chance, it could maybe help you—
Ilyse And I said, it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t fucking matter what anyone does, because no matter what, Beck is still gone!
(Ilyse then suddenly bursts in to tears, sobbing hard. Tibby stands up quickly, now very worried, but very unsure of what action she should take next.
Tibby Ilyse— Ilyse It doesn’t matter anymore—Beck’s gone—She’s gone, and I can’t do anything about it— Tibby Ilyse, Ilyse, calm down, I— Ilyse It’s not fair! It’s just—It’s not fucking fair—Beck had a right to live, just like anyone else and— how dare he just—How dare he!
Tibby Ilyse!
(Tibby quickly rushes to Ilyse’s side, engulfing her into a tight hug. She pats her back comfortingly, trying to sooth her)
Tibby Ilyse, Ilyse, it’s okay…You’re right. You’re totally right. Ilyse (her sentences are broken up due to her sobs) It wasn’t fair—Beck didn’t—She didn’t—It’s just not fair! Tibby Shh, shh, Ilyse…I know. We all know. It wasn’t fair to Beck. It wasn’t fair at all. Ilyse I-It’s not fair—I miss her—I miss her so much it hurts—I want Beck—I want her back, I want her back so bad…I want her back! Tibby I know you do, Ilyse. I know you want her back more than anyone. Ilyse I want her back, it’s not fair—she didn’t do anything to deserve it—she didn’t—and I just—and I just--!
(Ilyse continues to sob loudly as Tibby continues to comfort her, now rocking their bodies back and forth in an another attempt to calm Ilyse down. Tibby continues to tell Ilyse that it’s okay, and, after a few minutes of this, Ilyse’s sobs slowly turn into soft cries.
Tibby (soothing) I know this must be really hard for you, Ilyse. We’re all here for you. Ilyse (hiccupping, in efforts to calm down) No..no it’s my fault. Tibby What? Ilyse You don’t…you don’t understand. Tibby I can try to understand if you tried to tell me… Ilyse She died because of me. Beck did. Tibby What do you mean? Ilyse, it can’t possibly be your fault—
Ilyse She died because I didn’t tell. (her voice is breaking, becoming upset again) She died because I was too afraid!
Tibby That doesn’t make any sense! The news report said she was hit by a— Ilyse You don’t understand! (she becomes aggressive, pushing Tibby away) I didn’t tell her!
(Though Ilyse is pushing Tibby away, Tibby manages to keep Ilyse in her hold, trying to still her.)
Tibby Tell who, Ilyse? Tell who? Ilyse My mom. (heavily emotional) Beck was coming over so we could have dinner together… Tibby Alright…then what? Ilyse We only decided to have dinner together because…because… Tibby It’s okay, go ahead, you can tell me.
Ilyse Because…my mom was the only one who didn’t know that Beck and I were dating. She didn’t even know I was interested in girls. Beck said she’d be by my side when I told her. She promised, and I didn’t believe her. I told her I didn’t want to tell my mom, that she didn’t have to know. .. Tibby But how does that connect you with Beck’s death…
Ilyse I…I was planning to tell my mom without Beck. I don’t know why, but I thought it’d be better without her there…I felt embarrassed and I…I don’t know… Tibby Ilyse…you can’t possibly think that just because you were…thinking about making certain decisions ultimately cause someone’s death..
Ilyse No, that has got to be it. It’s my punishment. I deserve this. I deserve what’s happening to me. I did this. Tibby Ilyse, that’s not— Ilyse It’s my fault— Tibby Ilyse? Ilyse! Listen to me! (Tibby holds Ilyse by the shoulders, trying to get her attention, almost desperately)
Tibby [Cont.] The way Beck died was a freak accident. You did not cause it. It was not your fault in any way, shape or form. How could you even believe that?
Ilyse (sniffling) But…If I could just… Tibby No, Ilyse. Ilyse But I— Tibby (stern) Ilyse, don’t even say it. Don’t you dare say it, nothing was your fault. You didn’t do anything to cause this. It was a freak accident. (Ilyse sighs heavily, collapsing against Tibby, emotionally exhausted. Tibby continues to console her, rubbing her back, urging her to quiet her sobs. After a few moments, Ilyse stifles her sobs, leaning up, wiping her face with the back of her wrists, seemingly more calm than before.)
Ilyse Do you really think…that you know…this…accident…
Tibby I’m sure of it, Ilyse. None of this happened because of you. I’m sure Beck wouldn’t want you to go around, bringing yourself down for something you couldn’t control. You think Beck would want that? Ilyse (sad laugh) Ah…No, of course not. Beck…Beck wouldn’t want that. God, I wonder what she would say to me at a time like this…
(she returns her attention to her forgotten coffee cup, playing with the item in her hands) Ilyse [Cont] She’d probably tell me to cheer up or something…maybe even mention that my hot chocolate’s probably gross, warm chocolate milk now. A waste of money. Tibby Hah! That does sound like something she would say. (reassuring) See? Don’t you at least feel a little better? Talking things out usually helps me feel better. I really hope I helped you, even if it was just a little. Ilyse Yeah…I guess that did help a little. Sorry for uh…that total meltdown. I didn’t mean to get tear stains all over your shirt…That’s embarrassing. Tibby Huh? (instinctively looks down at her shirt before laughing lightly) Oh, that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me. I can always wash it when I get home. As long as you’re okay, now. Ilyse Well…I’m getting there. (The girls share a small, light laugh before Ilyse glances off to the side, before bringing her attention back to
Tibby, and begins to pack up her belongings.) Ilyse Ah, it’s getting late. I told my mom I’d only be out for a short bit. I ended up staying out longer than anticipated. Tibby Oh! Well, if that’s the case, I hope she doesn’t get mad, I didn’t mean to keep you out.
Ilyse Nah, it’s not your fault. ..besides, I’m sure when I explain what happened she’ll be less worried. Tibby Well, I hope everything goes well, Ilyse. If you…ever need to talk, we can always meet up, or you can call me or text me. Or even message me on facebook. I want to help however I can. Ilyse (brief pause) …Thank you…Tibby. I really appreciate it. I really do. And I’m sorry for snapping at you. I— Tibby It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize. I probably deserved it, I get a little too nosey for my own good. But seriously, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always all ears, okay? Don’t forget! Ilyse Alright, I won’t. Thanks again.
(Ilyse exists stage right, briefly passing Michelle, who seems shocked to see her leaving. Confused, Michelle approaches Tibby slowly,
pointing toward where Ilyse had just left. ) Michelle Whoa, she’s leaving. I take it everything went okay? Or did I miss something super important? Tibby Nah, I don’t think you missed anything. The talk actually…went pretty well. Michelle It did? Well that’s a relief. So like…what did you do? Is everything okay, now?
Tibby All we did was talk. She told me how she felt and I tried my best to get her through it. And it worked. I’m sure she’s in a better place now. Better than what she was before. Michelle (impressed) Wow. You did all of that while I was AWOL in the bathroom? I’ve got to say, I’m impressed, Tibs. Tibby Yeah well…I told her if she needed anyone to talk to, I’d be here. Michelle Aren’t you afraid that she won’t accept it? Tibby I mean..kinda. But all I can do for her right now is offer. Who knows? Maybe I helped more than you think… (fades to black)
Contact: Tabitha Shuford P.O Box 10055 Hollins University Roanoke VA, 24020 703-598-3740
Characters: Ilyse: 18 year old, African American female; just suffered a tragic incident involving her longtime best friend and recent partner. She is an emotional wreck. Tibby: 18 year old African American female; bubbly, positive, optimistic, and passionate. Michelle: 17 year old African American female; level-headed, slightly air-headed.
SCENE ONE
(The stage is warmly lit. There are three to four tables set around the stage. There are two girls total on stage, one girl placed at the table on center stage, the other two girls are sitting at a table on the right. There are Christmas-like decorations strewn around the props, and a chalk board placed toward the far left, closest to the audience with “Specials” written boldly on it; drinks listed below. Ilyse is sitting on the left side of the table, the right side empty. Ilyse looks down at her coffee cup, her posture sullen. Tibby is placed at the table far right, facing Ilyse. She looks concerned or conflicted. Michelle then enters from stage right, greeting Tibby by patting her on the shoulder. )
Michelle Hey girl, sorry I’m late! (She takes a seat on the opposite side of Tibby, blocking Ilyse from Tibby’s view. )
Tibby It’s about time you showed up. Where the hell have you been?
Michelle Sorry, sorry! My mom had me do a few chores last minute. But I’m here now! Tibby (playfully sarcastic) Yeah, I see that. Michelle What are you drinking? Looks good. Tibby Oh, uh, Mocha Iced Coffee. It’s really good, you should try it. Michelle I think I will. (sighs, relaxing in her seat) So what’s been up? Anything interesting happen while you were waiting for me? Tibby (single laugh) Ha, unfortunately, no, of course not. My life doesn’t get interesting until you show up. You know this. Michelle Ha, I guess you’re right. Man, I don’t know what I want yet. I think I might get what you have, it really does look good— (Michelle is interrupted as Tibby becomes startled, leaning her body to the side, spotting Ilyse, who is still messing over her beverage.)
Michelle Whoa, hey, Tibby, you okay?
(Tibby shushes her. Michelle is becoming confused.)
Michelle Yo, you’re acting weird, what the hell are you trying to look at? Tibby (loud whispering) Whoa, dude, hey, Michelle, look over there! Michelle (annoyed) Look over where? Tibby Over there! (she points discreetly) I think that’s Ilyse over there. Ilyse Trotter? Michelle (starts showing sudden interest) Wait, what? (Michelle starts to turn around, but Tibby stops her.) Tibby Don’t turn around, you’ll be obvious! And keep your voice low, geez! Michelle I don’t think she’s really paying any attention to us, Tibby--Tibby This is just so…weird…somehow… Michelle Well yeah, we haven’t seen her at school in such a long time. Tibby Well, after all she’s been through, I wouldn’t have gone to school, either. (she sighs) That poor girl…she must still be absolutely devastated…
Michelle Devastated? Devastated by what? Did something happen?
Tibby You mean, you haven’t heard? Michelle I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I pay absolutely no attention to the things that happen at our school. Like, at all. Tibby Oh, well, you’re probably right about that. Michelle …That wasn’t really an open invitation to agree, Tibby. Anyway, get back on topic. Tibby Stop distracting me, you know I’m easily distracted! (she looks around before bowing her head, closer to Michelle) Okay, listen. You remember Rebekah, right? Rebekah Ford? Michelle (her voice is now low as well)Rebekah Ford?...Sounds familiar. Tibby You know, Beck? She was in your Oceanography class, remember? Michelle Hmm..oh yeah! I think I remember her. She’s really chill. Tibby Yeah. From what I heard, she and Ilyse were dating. Michelle Officially?
Tibby Well, I mean, they were always together, so I’m sure they were together.
Michelle Y’know, just because you see two people together all the time doesn’t mean they’re together. Tibby You think I don’t know that? I saw them holding hands. That’s enough proof for me to believe it’s true. Michelle Just making sure you know the difference. Tibby You want me to clue you in or not? Michelle (apologetic) Sorry, sorry, continue. Tibby Okay, so yeah, Beck and Ilyse were dating. Like, they were seriously together. Our entire class pretty much predicted it would happen, I mean, they looked so cute together! Michelle Yeah, you’re right. I’ve seen them around, they are pretty adorable together. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen her in a while either. Beck, I mean. Tibby Well, there’s a reason for that. A few days after Thanksgiving break…Beck was hit by car. Michelle (gasps loudly) Wait, what?!
Tibby Keep it down! Michelle (her voice returns to a whisper) Sorry, I can’t help it! It’s just—this is a big deal, how come no one’s ever…how come I never heard about this?—
Tibby You were still out of town, remember? You came back a week late. Michelle Are you saying someone died the week I was absent? Oh, my god… Tibby I know, it’s pretty hard to think about. Michelle But how did she—what even— Tibby From what the news report said, she was walking home from Ilyse’s house and it was super dark outside. She was waiting to cross a street and was hit by a car that was driving incredibly too fast. The driver was drunk. Michelle Are you fucking kidding me? (she sounds annoyed, borderline upset)That’s ridiculous! I’m getting angry just thinking about it, do you know how unfair that is? Tibby I know how you feel. When I found that out, I was just was upset as you were. Beck was just innocently minding her own business, and bam, just like that… Michelle Well, what about Ilyse? Oh, god…She was the last one to see Beck, wasn’t she?
Tibby She was.
Michelle (she sighs, distressed) Oh god, oh god…that must have been…she must feel absolutely awful. Tibby You’re telling me…Ilyse hasn’t been at school since. We’ve all tried calling and sending letters to console her, but no one’s heard anything back from her. Michelle Well, I wouldn’t rush her but…at least you guys are trying. I bet she really needs a friend right now. I mean, since her closest friend is now…you know. Tibby Yeah, I know. I totally get it. Michelle But, what’s she doing here? I mean, after all that’s happened, I’d figure this would be the last place she’d want to be. Tibby You know, I’ve been wondering about that, too. I think it’s because she’s grieving. She’s probably visiting all the places she and Beck used to hang out at. Michelle Like a way to cope? Tibby I’m positive that’s why. She could also probably be in denial. She could still be in that first stage of grief. That’s the first stage, right? Michelle Yeah, that sounds about right. It’s still strange, though. I’d probably still be hiding in my room, if I were her--
Tibby It just sucks, you know? Your best friend dying all of a sudden like that—I mean, if you died, I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to cope, or who to talk to, if I wanted to talk at all. Michelle Yeah, I totally understand that. She—
Tibby I think I’m gonna go talk to her. Michelle Wait, what? Tibby I’ve been battling this back and forth while I was waiting for you. As soon as she walked in, I got this gut feeling to go talk to her. Michelle Okay, Tibs, I know you’re a kind, gentle person and all, but do you really think you should do something like that? Tibby Well, why not? Michelle I mean, what if she doesn’t wanna ‘talk’? She might snap at you unintentionally, especially if she’s in the first stage of grief. Tibby Trust me, I’ve thought about that possibility. I’ve gone through all the possible outcomes, actually. But, I figured that maybe she was lonely? What if no one has really talked to her since Beck died?
Michelle Well, like you said, people are reaching out to her—
Tibby But I mean, that’s not the same as seeing someone and talking to them face to face. Do you think anyone’s done that yet?
Michelle Ah, well, no... Tibby And you know why they haven’t? Because they probably thought the same thing that you just told me. Michelle …Okay, okay. You have a point. What all are you planning to do? Tibby Well, for starters, I’m gonna go over there. Michelle Okay, and then what? Tibby And then…well…I don’t know what to do after that. Michelle So basically, you’re just gonna wing the entire conversation and hope that you don’t fuck up? Tibby Well, it’s the only thing I really know how to do.
Michelle Well…(she sighs, defeated) If that’s what you’re gonna do, Tibby. You’re probably the only person I know who’s brave enough to do so.
Tibby Aw, Michelle, you really think so? Michelle Of course. If anyone could do it, it’d be you.
(Michelle begins to stand up slowly, making sure to quietly push in her chair.)
Michelle Here, I’m gonna run to the rest room. While I’m gone, you should go talk to Ilyse. Make sure no one steals my purse, okay? (Tibby begins to get up as well, laughing softly. She also quietly pushes in her chair.) Tibby Of course, wish me luck!
(Fades to black)
SCENE 2 (The stage is still warmly lit; The scene opens with Ilyse sitting at a table, on the left side. The right still empty. Tibby is placed in her seat on the far right, still facing Ilyse, looking nervous, and/or uncertain. Ilyse is still looking down at her drink, expression unreadable. After a few moments, Tibby stands up, pausing before walking over to Ilyse, cautiously. She stands before her, clearing her throat in order to get Ilyse’s attention.)
Tibby (Warily) Um…hey, Ilyse?
(Ilyse is silent, almost as if Tibby wasn’t there. Tibby coughs again, a bit louder than before.)
Tibby Um…Ilyse? Ilyse, helloooooo?
(Ilyse reacts ad if she had been brought of a daze, shaking her head as she came back to herself. She is startled by Ilyse, not realizing she was standing there before her. Ilyse slowly looks up at Tibby.)
Ilyse (her voice is small) Oh, uh, hi. Tibby Hi. Is uh, is anyone sitting with you? Ilyse (looks around as If confused) Um, no, I don’t think so. Tibby Do you mind if I sit with you? Ilyse Uh..I guess not. Tibby Thanks!
(Tibby takes the right seat across from Ilyse, slowly sitting down. She clasps her hands together on the table, clearly conflicted with how to start the conversation. Ilyse brings her head back down again, her hands fidgeting with the coffee cup in front of her.)
Tibby So…Ilyse. How’s everything going?
Ilyse Okay, I guess. Tibby (slightly taken aback) …okay…um..What brings you here? Well obviously you were probably craving coffee, right? Why else would you be here, hah…(awkward pause)…Anyway, what are you drinking? Is it one of those Starbucks Holiday specials? Ilyse Hot chocolate. Tibby Really? The regular kind? Or like, a special, like the peppermint mocha— Ilyse Just the regular kind. Tibby O..Oh. Okay, then, is that your favorite drink here?
Ilyse I guess so. It’s the only thing I ever get here. Tibby Wow. Even in the summer? Ilyse Yeah.
Tibby Wow, I’ve never tried it, but it must be really good if you’re willing to buy it during the summer.
Ilyse Beck would always make fun of me for it. Tibby Huh? Ilyse Beck. We would always come here, especially during the Holidays. And we’d get our regular drinks. She would get her specialty Eggnog Frappuccino, and I’d get my hot chocolate. She’d tease me, though. She’d say I could get better hot chocolate at 7-11 instead of overpaying here. She’d tell me to at least getting something fancy, like her Frappuccino, but she knows I don’t like eggnog nearly as much as she does. Tibby Well, I’m sure Beck was just— Ilyse She was right, you know. Tibby Huh? Right about wh—
Ilyse About the hot chocolate. At 7-11. It was cheaper. And it tasted better. I tried it the other night. I wish I got to try it with her. Before she…before she…
(Ilyse begins to fidget with the cup even more,physically becoming more unstable. Tibby is becoming uneasy, but still remains somewhat confident.)
Tibby Look…Ilyse, I know you’re probably going through a really tough time, but I— Ilyse (her tone is cold) What do you even want? Tibby (surprised) Huh? What do you mean? Ilyse I mean, why are you talking to me right now? We barely know each other. I don’t even know your name. Tibby Well, for starters, my name is Tibby. I just wanted to talk to you because I— Ilyse Because you feel sorry for me? Tibby What? Well, no, I— Ilyse Don’t pretend to care when you don’t. I was invisible until..And now you think just because…
Tibby That’s not at all what I’m trying to do, Ilyse. I just know it must be really hard to lose someone the way you did. I know there are many others out there who are trying to reach out to you— Ilyse Reach out to me? (she lets out a bitter laugh) Yeah, sure, they’re reaching out to me, with their sad little cards and pathetic apologies, acting like they know what its like, or how it feels, when they don’t. It’s disgusting.
Tibby But, Ilyse, I’m sure some of those people know exactly how you feel, and they’re just trying to reach out to you in order to help you. No one should have to go through a loss alone. They ‘re just worried about you. Like the people at school, they’re worried about you, Ilyse. They want to know that you’re okay, and they want to help. Beck had friends, too, and I’m sure they know about you. I’m sure they want to comfort you more than anything— Ilyse So what? What does it matter? Tibby Doesn’t it mean something to you? That all these people are trying to reach out to you, but you keep pushing them away? I mean, at least give some people a chance— Ilyse (her voice is rising in anger) Why should I? It doesn’t matter, they don’t really care! Some of these people don’t even know who I am, why should I give a fuck about what they do? It doesn’t matter! Tibby What do you mean it doesn’t matter? These people care, Ilyse! I know it’s hard— Ilyse I hate it when people say that. I’ve heard that so many times it makes me sick. You don’t know how hard it is. Until you lose the one you love, you have no fucking idea how hard it is to deal with.
Tibby Okay, Ilyse, maybe you’re right. I haven’t personally lost anyone close to me. And I know that that fact makes it hard for me to try and relate to you. But like I said before, there are people who have shared the same...misfortune. I’m sure if you just give them, anyone a chance, it could maybe help you—
Ilyse And I said, it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t fucking matter what anyone does, because no matter what, Beck is still gone!
(Ilyse then suddenly bursts in to tears, sobbing hard. Tibby stands up quickly, now very worried, but very unsure of what action she should take next.
Tibby Ilyse— Ilyse It doesn’t matter anymore—Beck’s gone—She’s gone, and I can’t do anything about it— Tibby Ilyse, Ilyse, calm down, I— Ilyse It’s not fair! It’s just—It’s not fucking fair—Beck had a right to live, just like anyone else and— how dare he just—How dare he!
Tibby Ilyse!
(Tibby quickly rushes to Ilyse’s side, engulfing her into a tight hug. She pats her back comfortingly, trying to sooth her)
Tibby Ilyse, Ilyse, it’s okay…You’re right. You’re totally right. Ilyse (her sentences are broken up due to her sobs) It wasn’t fair—Beck didn’t—She didn’t—It’s just not fair! Tibby Shh, shh, Ilyse…I know. We all know. It wasn’t fair to Beck. It wasn’t fair at all. Ilyse I-It’s not fair—I miss her—I miss her so much it hurts—I want Beck—I want her back, I want her back so bad…I want her back! Tibby I know you do, Ilyse. I know you want her back more than anyone. Ilyse I want her back, it’s not fair—she didn’t do anything to deserve it—she didn’t—and I just—and I just--!
(Ilyse continues to sob loudly as Tibby continues to comfort her, now rocking their bodies back and forth in an another attempt to calm Ilyse down. Tibby continues to tell Ilyse that it’s okay, and, after a few minutes of this, Ilyse’s sobs slowly turn into soft cries.
Tibby (soothing) I know this must be really hard for you, Ilyse. We’re all here for you. Ilyse (hiccupping, in efforts to calm down) No..no it’s my fault. Tibby What? Ilyse You don’t…you don’t understand. Tibby I can try to understand if you tried to tell me… Ilyse She died because of me. Beck did. Tibby What do you mean? Ilyse, it can’t possibly be your fault—
Ilyse She died because I didn’t tell. (her voice is breaking, becoming upset again) She died because I was too afraid!
Tibby That doesn’t make any sense! The news report said she was hit by a— Ilyse You don’t understand! (she becomes aggressive, pushing Tibby away) I didn’t tell her!
(Though Ilyse is pushing Tibby away, Tibby manages to keep Ilyse in her hold, trying to still her.)
Tibby Tell who, Ilyse? Tell who? Ilyse My mom. (heavily emotional) Beck was coming over so we could have dinner together… Tibby Alright…then what? Ilyse We only decided to have dinner together because…because… Tibby It’s okay, go ahead, you can tell me.
Ilyse Because…my mom was the only one who didn’t know that Beck and I were dating. She didn’t even know I was interested in girls. Beck said she’d be by my side when I told her. She promised, and I didn’t believe her. I told her I didn’t want to tell my mom, that she didn’t have to know. .. Tibby But how does that connect you with Beck’s death…
Ilyse I…I was planning to tell my mom without Beck. I don’t know why, but I thought it’d be better without her there…I felt embarrassed and I…I don’t know… Tibby Ilyse…you can’t possibly think that just because you were…thinking about making certain decisions ultimately cause someone’s death..
Ilyse No, that has got to be it. It’s my punishment. I deserve this. I deserve what’s happening to me. I did this. Tibby Ilyse, that’s not— Ilyse It’s my fault— Tibby Ilyse? Ilyse! Listen to me! (Tibby holds Ilyse by the shoulders, trying to get her attention, almost desperately)
Tibby [Cont.] The way Beck died was a freak accident. You did not cause it. It was not your fault in any way, shape or form. How could you even believe that?
Ilyse (sniffling) But…If I could just… Tibby No, Ilyse. Ilyse But I— Tibby (stern) Ilyse, don’t even say it. Don’t you dare say it, nothing was your fault. You didn’t do anything to cause this. It was a freak accident. (Ilyse sighs heavily, collapsing against Tibby, emotionally exhausted. Tibby continues to console her, rubbing her back, urging her to quiet her sobs. After a few moments, Ilyse stifles her sobs, leaning up, wiping her face with the back of her wrists, seemingly more calm than before.)
Ilyse Do you really think…that you know…this…accident…
Tibby I’m sure of it, Ilyse. None of this happened because of you. I’m sure Beck wouldn’t want you to go around, bringing yourself down for something you couldn’t control. You think Beck would want that? Ilyse (sad laugh) Ah…No, of course not. Beck…Beck wouldn’t want that. God, I wonder what she would say to me at a time like this…
(she returns her attention to her forgotten coffee cup, playing with the item in her hands) Ilyse [Cont] She’d probably tell me to cheer up or something…maybe even mention that my hot chocolate’s probably gross, warm chocolate milk now. A waste of money. Tibby Hah! That does sound like something she would say. (reassuring) See? Don’t you at least feel a little better? Talking things out usually helps me feel better. I really hope I helped you, even if it was just a little. Ilyse Yeah…I guess that did help a little. Sorry for uh…that total meltdown. I didn’t mean to get tear stains all over your shirt…That’s embarrassing. Tibby Huh? (instinctively looks down at her shirt before laughing lightly) Oh, that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me. I can always wash it when I get home. As long as you’re okay, now. Ilyse Well…I’m getting there. (The girls share a small, light laugh before Ilyse glances off to the side, before bringing her attention back to
Tibby, and begins to pack up her belongings.) Ilyse Ah, it’s getting late. I told my mom I’d only be out for a short bit. I ended up staying out longer than anticipated. Tibby Oh! Well, if that’s the case, I hope she doesn’t get mad, I didn’t mean to keep you out.
Ilyse Nah, it’s not your fault. ..besides, I’m sure when I explain what happened she’ll be less worried. Tibby Well, I hope everything goes well, Ilyse. If you…ever need to talk, we can always meet up, or you can call me or text me. Or even message me on facebook. I want to help however I can. Ilyse (brief pause) …Thank you…Tibby. I really appreciate it. I really do. And I’m sorry for snapping at you. I— Tibby It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize. I probably deserved it, I get a little too nosey for my own good. But seriously, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always all ears, okay? Don’t forget! Ilyse Alright, I won’t. Thanks again.
(Ilyse exists stage right, briefly passing Michelle, who seems shocked to see her leaving. Confused, Michelle approaches Tibby slowly,
pointing toward where Ilyse had just left. ) Michelle Whoa, she’s leaving. I take it everything went okay? Or did I miss something super important? Tibby Nah, I don’t think you missed anything. The talk actually…went pretty well. Michelle It did? Well that’s a relief. So like…what did you do? Is everything okay, now?
Tibby All we did was talk. She told me how she felt and I tried my best to get her through it. And it worked. I’m sure she’s in a better place now. Better than what she was before. Michelle (impressed) Wow. You did all of that while I was AWOL in the bathroom? I’ve got to say, I’m impressed, Tibs. Tibby Yeah well…I told her if she needed anyone to talk to, I’d be here. Michelle Aren’t you afraid that she won’t accept it? Tibby I mean..kinda. But all I can do for her right now is offer. Who knows? Maybe I helped more than you think… (fades to black)
