THE POWER OF LOVE
friday, sept. 23, 2016
THE POWER OF LOVE
the roar | feature | 11
Cheerleader reflects on, overcomes stress related disorder maya girimaji section editor Every time somebody says “I’m so stressed I could pull out my hair,” junior Tatum Love thinks, “Oh. I did that.” Love was diagnosed with trichotillomania when she was in the sixth grade. According to trichstop.com, trichotillomania can affect 0.6% to 4.0% of the overall population. “It’s an obsessive compulsive disorder from anxiety and depression. It has many similarities to self harm,” Love said. “It causes you to pull out your hair and some people have it worse than others and some people just pluck the hair, like I did, and others will pull it out, eat it.” Before being diagnosed, she got lice at her friend’s house and tried picking out the eggs. She ended up pulling out her hair, accidentally, and realized that it relieved some of her stress. “I was in sixth grade, taking seventh grade advanced math and I felt alone because I didn’t have many friends in that class,” Love said. “It was [the stress from that] on top of getting lice and it just spiraled downwards.” Not aware of what it was, Love didn’t realize gravity of the situation until Stephanie Love, Tatum’s mother, discovered nickel-sized bald spots on her head. “I first came to know about Tatum pulling out her hair when she was in 6th grade. Her sister brought her to me one morning before school when she had been helping her with
her hair,” Stephanie Love said. “I will never forget the look on her face, scared and worried that I’d be mad or disappointed. I was neither. I was just confused as to how it got there in the first place, much less why.” Love and her mother began to research for the next month and once they discovered that it was trichotillomania, Love was sent to a therapist for one year. “A lot of it is internal. You have to find yourself. I did have a way of dealing with it, but it wasn’t the best because I still pulled out my hair. But going to therapy and knowing that you’re not alone [really helped],” Love said. “I tried to keep my hands busy. I would doodle in class and mess with a little bean bag. It was a lot of being honest and speaking to people about it.” For Love, depression and trichotillomania fed each other. When she was depressed, she pulled out her hair. But because she pulled out her hair, she was depressed. Whenever she was feeling depressed, though, she could reach out to a few close friends without having to worry about being judged. However, for Love’s friends, the signs of trichotillomania weren’t very obvious in the beginning. “No one can prepare you for the moment that your best friend looks you in the eyes and tells you that she has been struggling for years with a mental illness. It was heartbreaking. My first reaction was complete shock,” junior Caitlin Corkran said. “I never would have expected it because I always thought of Tatum as a confident and joyful person and I just never
thought I would hear her tell me about these self-doubts she was having.” Stephanie Love remembers how hard it was to watch her daughter struggle in those grueling years. Middle school is already a tumultuous time for kids when you’re trying to “find yourself,” and going through trichotillomania just made the whole process more complicated. “When you spread rumors about “that bald girl” or “the one with cancer” people hear it. Your words affect that person more than you will ever know,” Love said. “I hated being called bald, even though I was. It destroys you.” Despite struggling with trichotillomania for three years, and still fighting the urge to relapse, Love believes that this happened for a reason. Even though, at the time, she constantly asked “Why me?” she wouldn’t change it because it built her as a person and strengthened her relationship with her family, friends, and God. “If there’s one thing I’d love for everyone to know about Tatum it’s that she’s incredibly courageous! Throughout this journey, she taught me many times what real courage looks like. When I dropped her off at AMCMS each day, she’d walk into the school with her [flowered headband] and her head held high,” Stephanie Love said. “She continued to cheer and dance competitively through it all. We put her Thunder Elite bow on another head band and she still danced front and center. She showed braveness when I know it was hard and (even when she may have wanted to) she never, ever gave up.”
trichotillomania - a psychiatric disorder characterized by the compulsive plucking out of hairs from one's own body, especially from the scalp, eyebrows, or eyelashes. PHOTO BY MAYA GIRIMAJI
THE POWER OF LOVE
the roar | feature | 11
Cheerleader reflects on, overcomes stress related disorder maya girimaji section editor Every time somebody says “I’m so stressed I could pull out my hair,” junior Tatum Love thinks, “Oh. I did that.” Love was diagnosed with trichotillomania when she was in the sixth grade. According to trichstop.com, trichotillomania can affect 0.6% to 4.0% of the overall population. “It’s an obsessive compulsive disorder from anxiety and depression. It has many similarities to self harm,” Love said. “It causes you to pull out your hair and some people have it worse than others and some people just pluck the hair, like I did, and others will pull it out, eat it.” Before being diagnosed, she got lice at her friend’s house and tried picking out the eggs. She ended up pulling out her hair, accidentally, and realized that it relieved some of her stress. “I was in sixth grade, taking seventh grade advanced math and I felt alone because I didn’t have many friends in that class,” Love said. “It was [the stress from that] on top of getting lice and it just spiraled downwards.” Not aware of what it was, Love didn’t realize gravity of the situation until Stephanie Love, Tatum’s mother, discovered nickel-sized bald spots on her head. “I first came to know about Tatum pulling out her hair when she was in 6th grade. Her sister brought her to me one morning before school when she had been helping her with
her hair,” Stephanie Love said. “I will never forget the look on her face, scared and worried that I’d be mad or disappointed. I was neither. I was just confused as to how it got there in the first place, much less why.” Love and her mother began to research for the next month and once they discovered that it was trichotillomania, Love was sent to a therapist for one year. “A lot of it is internal. You have to find yourself. I did have a way of dealing with it, but it wasn’t the best because I still pulled out my hair. But going to therapy and knowing that you’re not alone [really helped],” Love said. “I tried to keep my hands busy. I would doodle in class and mess with a little bean bag. It was a lot of being honest and speaking to people about it.” For Love, depression and trichotillomania fed each other. When she was depressed, she pulled out her hair. But because she pulled out her hair, she was depressed. Whenever she was feeling depressed, though, she could reach out to a few close friends without having to worry about being judged. However, for Love’s friends, the signs of trichotillomania weren’t very obvious in the beginning. “No one can prepare you for the moment that your best friend looks you in the eyes and tells you that she has been struggling for years with a mental illness. It was heartbreaking. My first reaction was complete shock,” junior Caitlin Corkran said. “I never would have expected it because I always thought of Tatum as a confident and joyful person and I just never
thought I would hear her tell me about these self-doubts she was having.” Stephanie Love remembers how hard it was to watch her daughter struggle in those grueling years. Middle school is already a tumultuous time for kids when you’re trying to “find yourself,” and going through trichotillomania just made the whole process more complicated. “When you spread rumors about “that bald girl” or “the one with cancer” people hear it. Your words affect that person more than you will ever know,” Love said. “I hated being called bald, even though I was. It destroys you.” Despite struggling with trichotillomania for three years, and still fighting the urge to relapse, Love believes that this happened for a reason. Even though, at the time, she constantly asked “Why me?” she wouldn’t change it because it built her as a person and strengthened her relationship with her family, friends, and God. “If there’s one thing I’d love for everyone to know about Tatum it’s that she’s incredibly courageous! Throughout this journey, she taught me many times what real courage looks like. When I dropped her off at AMCMS each day, she’d walk into the school with her [flowered headband] and her head held high,” Stephanie Love said. “She continued to cheer and dance competitively through it all. We put her Thunder Elite bow on another head band and she still danced front and center. She showed braveness when I know it was hard and (even when she may have wanted to) she never, ever gave up.”
trichotillomania - a psychiatric disorder characterized by the compulsive plucking out of hairs from one's own body, especially from the scalp, eyebrows, or eyelashes. PHOTO BY MAYA GIRIMAJI
