ToTAL SUrreNder
On becoming a priest
Total surrender
Father Damian MacPherson, s.a., served as visiting priest at St. Peter’s mission in Brochet, Manitoba, in the Archdiocese of Keewatin-Le Pas.Below, he shares his vocation story. By FATHER DAMIAN MACPHERSON, S.A.
I
am one of thirteen children, ten boys and three girls. My Dad was a carpenter and my mom was a schoolteacher when she was not raising her family. Someone recently said to me all mothers of priests are in heaven. I guess I can be sure of that since I also have another brother who is a priest, Father Albert MacPherson, o.s.a., who is an Augustinian and I am a Franciscan. In my case, how did it happen? As a boy I did boyish things. I loved to play hockey, baseball, cricket and even a little soccer. Early on, about the age of fourteen, the thought of becoming a religious began to circulate in my mind. At first I welcomed these sentiments, only later on to want them to go away. As I became more mature, I 20 Fall 2014
did my best to ignore such inclinations, but they insisted on visiting me intermittently, sometimes more strongly, causing me to pray vigorously, asking God that He would just take away those recurring thoughts so that I could get on with concentrating on what I really wanted to do with my life. For about five years I carried on my divine conversations, without ever feeling that I was gaining any ground. Finally, and with reluctance, I surrendered. I made a bargain with the Lord. I agreed to leave my small coal mining town of New Waterford in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. I travelled to Graymoor Garrison, New York, home of the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement. Even while en route I was mostly
Catholic missions in canada 21
convinced that this would not last long, and I would be able to return with peace of mind and simply get on with my life. When I arrived at Graymoor, there were thirty other postulants, as we were then called. I recall arriving at the residence in the dark of night and being greeted by a brown-robed friar who would be my director. As I stepped across the threshold of the huge monastic door, I sat down and among the first questions asked of me was if I had
‘I began to be honest with myself and give in to the process’ cigarettes. Thinking Father was asking for a cigarette, I pulled out my package and offered him one. “Oh no, son,” he said, “I will take them all.” It was the beginning of what would become a very different and disciplined style of life to which I was expected to mould myself. Once I became familiar with my surroundings, I was haunted by the thought of how I simply disliked this environment, while feeling that I owed it to myself to give it a go. Part of 22 Fall 2014
the discipline was that we were only allowed to communicate with our family by letter once a month. Our letters were to be left opened for the Postulant Master to read, if he so chose. Likewise, letters received were also opened for the same reason. After about three months, I can remember receiving a letter from my mother indicating that she seemed to think that I was not so happy at Graymoor and if that was so, I should feel free to come home. Her letter literally changed my life. Up until then I realized that I really was not giving myself to the program of formation, but simply going through the motions. From that moment on, I began to be honest with myself and give in to the whole process of formation. That was fifty years ago, on November 2, 1963. Since then I can honestly say that I have been a satisfied and fulfilled Friar of the Atonement. Each of my other thirty classmates eventually realized that life as a Friar of the Atonement was not their calling. To be honest, I must say that I am somewhat embarrassed when I think of how I initially treated my call to religious life. I am grateful that God did not give up on me!
Total surrender
Father Damian MacPherson, s.a., served as visiting priest at St. Peter’s mission in Brochet, Manitoba, in the Archdiocese of Keewatin-Le Pas.Below, he shares his vocation story. By FATHER DAMIAN MACPHERSON, S.A.
I
am one of thirteen children, ten boys and three girls. My Dad was a carpenter and my mom was a schoolteacher when she was not raising her family. Someone recently said to me all mothers of priests are in heaven. I guess I can be sure of that since I also have another brother who is a priest, Father Albert MacPherson, o.s.a., who is an Augustinian and I am a Franciscan. In my case, how did it happen? As a boy I did boyish things. I loved to play hockey, baseball, cricket and even a little soccer. Early on, about the age of fourteen, the thought of becoming a religious began to circulate in my mind. At first I welcomed these sentiments, only later on to want them to go away. As I became more mature, I 20 Fall 2014
did my best to ignore such inclinations, but they insisted on visiting me intermittently, sometimes more strongly, causing me to pray vigorously, asking God that He would just take away those recurring thoughts so that I could get on with concentrating on what I really wanted to do with my life. For about five years I carried on my divine conversations, without ever feeling that I was gaining any ground. Finally, and with reluctance, I surrendered. I made a bargain with the Lord. I agreed to leave my small coal mining town of New Waterford in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. I travelled to Graymoor Garrison, New York, home of the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement. Even while en route I was mostly
Catholic missions in canada 21
convinced that this would not last long, and I would be able to return with peace of mind and simply get on with my life. When I arrived at Graymoor, there were thirty other postulants, as we were then called. I recall arriving at the residence in the dark of night and being greeted by a brown-robed friar who would be my director. As I stepped across the threshold of the huge monastic door, I sat down and among the first questions asked of me was if I had
‘I began to be honest with myself and give in to the process’ cigarettes. Thinking Father was asking for a cigarette, I pulled out my package and offered him one. “Oh no, son,” he said, “I will take them all.” It was the beginning of what would become a very different and disciplined style of life to which I was expected to mould myself. Once I became familiar with my surroundings, I was haunted by the thought of how I simply disliked this environment, while feeling that I owed it to myself to give it a go. Part of 22 Fall 2014
the discipline was that we were only allowed to communicate with our family by letter once a month. Our letters were to be left opened for the Postulant Master to read, if he so chose. Likewise, letters received were also opened for the same reason. After about three months, I can remember receiving a letter from my mother indicating that she seemed to think that I was not so happy at Graymoor and if that was so, I should feel free to come home. Her letter literally changed my life. Up until then I realized that I really was not giving myself to the program of formation, but simply going through the motions. From that moment on, I began to be honest with myself and give in to the whole process of formation. That was fifty years ago, on November 2, 1963. Since then I can honestly say that I have been a satisfied and fulfilled Friar of the Atonement. Each of my other thirty classmates eventually realized that life as a Friar of the Atonement was not their calling. To be honest, I must say that I am somewhat embarrassed when I think of how I initially treated my call to religious life. I am grateful that God did not give up on me!
