WRS and CC Abridged
What do White Children Need to Know about Race? Dr. Ali Michael
Parents wanted race not to matter, so they acted as if it doesn’t. Youth got the message that race actually does not matter. CURRENT White Racial Socialization Practices (Based on research by Bartoli, E., Bentley-Edwards, K., Michael, A. and Stevenson, H., 2014).
What are the messages that White youth are getting about race today? o Being White is neither right nor wrong ! Whiteness has no meaning at all o Focus on values ! A number of parents spoke about wanting to protect their children from “inner city mentality” and wanting to teach their children to value others on the basis of whether they ascribed to their/the “right” cultural norms o Racism is wrong ! Parents were very clear that they wanted to teach their children that racist remarks are wrong and unacceptable, whereby racism was understood mostly as overt acts done by an individual Racism is in the past ! Things have been getting better and they will naturally continue to get better o Assimilation based integration ! Welcome folks who are like them, discomfort with inter-‐racial dating for fear of diluting one’s culture/norms o Youth led socialization ! Strong wish to welcome children’s questions and to do “it” (socialization) right o Just do it (integrate) but don’t talk about it (race) ! Belief that exposure to diversity combined with colorblindness is an effective tool for developing competence in interacting with diverse individuals.
So what should parents do? The goal is not to raise colorblind kids, but to raise kids who are conscious of race and racial inequality, and who feel the agency to act as an anti-racist White person.
1. Remember that talking about race is not racist a. Affirm your child when they talk about skin color or difference, steer them if they are doing so in a stereotypical way. b. Give your children words for talking about skin color, difference and race. c. Help your child see that race is part of who we are, it is not shameful or bad, or something to be ignored. d. Lean into your discomfort—you maybe have been taught to be colorblind, which means this will not feel intuitive. 2. Emphasize that difference is good—not that we are all the same a. Race and racial differences do matter AND they are not all bad. 3. Help your child develop critical skills for consuming media and observing the world around them. a. Help your child see racism and inequality in the shows they watch (e.g. Why are so many of the Disney Princesses White?). b. Point out anti-‐stereotypical images and talk about how it challenges the stereotype (e.g. There’s a picture of a Black dad in that magazine. I love seeing that because I almost never see Black dads in the magazines I read and it’s wrong because there are so many loving Black dads in the world). 4. Build multiracial community a. Support and encourage your child’s interracial friendships. b. Invite their friends' families over for meals. c. Develop your own connections with friends and colleagues of color. 5. Help your child recognize and learn about systemic racism a. Racism is systemic and historical—it is not simply violent acts by a few crazy individuals. b. Recognizing the systemic nature of racism helps remove the personal guilt from it. c. The goal is not to ensure that your child is not racist. Rather, the goal should be that your child is racially conscious, anti-‐racist and able to live and work in healthy, multiracial community. 6. Recognize that racism impacts everyone, and therefore anti-‐racist action is relevant to all of us a. Teacher your child Black history and the Civil Rights Movement is history that everyone should know, and that helps everyone better understand who we are as a nation. b. Racism still happens—it didn’t die with slavery, or the Civil Rights Movement, or the election of President Obama. 7. Do not let Whiteness be the invisible norm
a. Recognize that all White spaces are not accidental, but the result of historical and/or contemporary social policy. b. Describe people as White, if they are White. c. Recognize when a space is all White and question why? (e.g. “Wow, all the Rockettes are White. I wonder why that is? That seems problematic. What happens if an Asian American woman wants to be a Rockette?). d. Talk about your own Whiteness. e. Recognize when racial privilege shapes your world/environment. 8. When your child is young: a. Read them books with children of many different racial and ethnic backgrounds. b. Point out skin color in the pictures. c. Talk about other children you know with similar skin color. d. Talk about how difference is beautiful and how skin color is part of who we are. e. Value Black and Brown as colors—talk about what’s beautiful about them. f. Buy your child a brown skinned baby doll or Barbie doll. g. Question why certain characters have White skin and help your child imagine a world where Disney princesses could be Asian or Black or Latino. 9. As your child grow into middle school and high school: a. Continue to initiate conversations about race. b. Ask about the race/racial backgrounds of teachers and friends in an affirming way. c. Do not only talk about race when your teen has questions or conflicts. d. Help your child understand that race is socially constructed. It has a big impact on our lives, but it is not biological. It is something that people made up and it changes constantly. 10. Recognize the goal is: positive racial identity. a. To support children to have a positive racial identity, parents need to have a positive racial identity. If a child is more advanced in their racial identity than the parent, that is what is called in counseling a “regressive relationship.” b. A positive racial identity does not mean feeling good about being White OR feeling bad about being White. c. A positive racial identity for White children means that they: i. understand what it means to be White in the context of a heavily racialized world ii. can recognize racial injustice and know ways to work against it iii. can be healthy members of multiracial communities in which everyone supports one another against the oppressions they face d. Nobody learns through shame. While we need to learn how to support children to critically analyze dolls, shows, games, movies and advertisements, we should not shame them for what they don’t know or for what they like—and certainly not for who they are. Find something to affirm or enjoy about their beloved Barbie Dreamhouse AND support them to look at it critically. It’s a fine line between criticizing a show and criticizing a child for liking the show.
Racial socialization is not what we do once a year. It is what we do “consistently, persistently and in an enduring fashion.” -Boykin and Toms
Anti-‐Racism Resources Books o Raising Race Questions (2015) Ali Michael o Everyday White People Confront Racial and Social Injustice (2015) Moore, Penick-‐Parks and Michael o A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America (2008) Ronald Takaki o Lies My Teacher Told Me (2007) J. Loewen o Everyday Antiracism (2008) Mica Pollock o White Like Me (2007) Tim Wise o Everyday Bias (2014) Howard Ross o White Teachers, Diverse Classrooms (2011) Julie Landsman and Chance Lewis o Why Race and Culture Matter in Schools (2010) Howard
Articles
Becoming an Anti-‐Racist White Ally (2009) Michael Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life (2007) Sue Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack (1998) McIntosh
Films
o Up Against Whiteness (2005) Lee o Uprooting Racism: How White People can Work for Racial Justice (2002) Paul Kivel o Playing with Anger (2003) Howard Stevenson o Promoting Racial Literacy in Schools: Difference that makes a Difference (2014) Howard Stevenson o Excellence through Equity (2015) Blankstein & Noguera o Other People’s Children (2006) Lisa Delpit o Why Are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? (2003) Beverly Daniel Tatum o Advancing Black Male Student Success from PreSchool through Ph.D. (2015) Harper
What White Children Need to Know about Race (2014) Michael & Bartoli
Websites & Blogs
Mirrors of Privilege (2007) Shakti Butler Cracking the Codes (2012) Shakti Butler Race: The Power of Illusion (PBS) (2003) Adelman Traces of the Trade (2006) Katrina Browne Teens Talk White Privilege (2012) Ali Michael Little White Lie (2015) Lacey Schwartz I’m Not a Racist, Am I? (2014) André Robert Lee Available Online The Danger of a Single Story (2009) Adichie A Girl Like Me (2007) Davis
Rethinkingschools.org Antiracistparent.com Minorityreporter.com Racialicious.com Understandingrace.org Timwise.org Tolerance.org Microaggressions.com Raceinstitute.org
Whites Confronting Racism June 3-‐5, 2016 www.whitesconfrontingracism.org Race Institute for Educators January 28-‐30, 2015—Westtown http://www.raceinstitute.org
White Privilege Conference April 14-‐17, 2016 Philadelphia, PA www.whiteprivilegeconference.com Social Justice Training Institute http://www.sjti.org
Conferences & Events
Parents wanted race not to matter, so they acted as if it doesn’t. Youth got the message that race actually does not matter. CURRENT White Racial Socialization Practices (Based on research by Bartoli, E., Bentley-Edwards, K., Michael, A. and Stevenson, H., 2014).
What are the messages that White youth are getting about race today? o Being White is neither right nor wrong ! Whiteness has no meaning at all o Focus on values ! A number of parents spoke about wanting to protect their children from “inner city mentality” and wanting to teach their children to value others on the basis of whether they ascribed to their/the “right” cultural norms o Racism is wrong ! Parents were very clear that they wanted to teach their children that racist remarks are wrong and unacceptable, whereby racism was understood mostly as overt acts done by an individual Racism is in the past ! Things have been getting better and they will naturally continue to get better o Assimilation based integration ! Welcome folks who are like them, discomfort with inter-‐racial dating for fear of diluting one’s culture/norms o Youth led socialization ! Strong wish to welcome children’s questions and to do “it” (socialization) right o Just do it (integrate) but don’t talk about it (race) ! Belief that exposure to diversity combined with colorblindness is an effective tool for developing competence in interacting with diverse individuals.
So what should parents do? The goal is not to raise colorblind kids, but to raise kids who are conscious of race and racial inequality, and who feel the agency to act as an anti-racist White person.
1. Remember that talking about race is not racist a. Affirm your child when they talk about skin color or difference, steer them if they are doing so in a stereotypical way. b. Give your children words for talking about skin color, difference and race. c. Help your child see that race is part of who we are, it is not shameful or bad, or something to be ignored. d. Lean into your discomfort—you maybe have been taught to be colorblind, which means this will not feel intuitive. 2. Emphasize that difference is good—not that we are all the same a. Race and racial differences do matter AND they are not all bad. 3. Help your child develop critical skills for consuming media and observing the world around them. a. Help your child see racism and inequality in the shows they watch (e.g. Why are so many of the Disney Princesses White?). b. Point out anti-‐stereotypical images and talk about how it challenges the stereotype (e.g. There’s a picture of a Black dad in that magazine. I love seeing that because I almost never see Black dads in the magazines I read and it’s wrong because there are so many loving Black dads in the world). 4. Build multiracial community a. Support and encourage your child’s interracial friendships. b. Invite their friends' families over for meals. c. Develop your own connections with friends and colleagues of color. 5. Help your child recognize and learn about systemic racism a. Racism is systemic and historical—it is not simply violent acts by a few crazy individuals. b. Recognizing the systemic nature of racism helps remove the personal guilt from it. c. The goal is not to ensure that your child is not racist. Rather, the goal should be that your child is racially conscious, anti-‐racist and able to live and work in healthy, multiracial community. 6. Recognize that racism impacts everyone, and therefore anti-‐racist action is relevant to all of us a. Teacher your child Black history and the Civil Rights Movement is history that everyone should know, and that helps everyone better understand who we are as a nation. b. Racism still happens—it didn’t die with slavery, or the Civil Rights Movement, or the election of President Obama. 7. Do not let Whiteness be the invisible norm
a. Recognize that all White spaces are not accidental, but the result of historical and/or contemporary social policy. b. Describe people as White, if they are White. c. Recognize when a space is all White and question why? (e.g. “Wow, all the Rockettes are White. I wonder why that is? That seems problematic. What happens if an Asian American woman wants to be a Rockette?). d. Talk about your own Whiteness. e. Recognize when racial privilege shapes your world/environment. 8. When your child is young: a. Read them books with children of many different racial and ethnic backgrounds. b. Point out skin color in the pictures. c. Talk about other children you know with similar skin color. d. Talk about how difference is beautiful and how skin color is part of who we are. e. Value Black and Brown as colors—talk about what’s beautiful about them. f. Buy your child a brown skinned baby doll or Barbie doll. g. Question why certain characters have White skin and help your child imagine a world where Disney princesses could be Asian or Black or Latino. 9. As your child grow into middle school and high school: a. Continue to initiate conversations about race. b. Ask about the race/racial backgrounds of teachers and friends in an affirming way. c. Do not only talk about race when your teen has questions or conflicts. d. Help your child understand that race is socially constructed. It has a big impact on our lives, but it is not biological. It is something that people made up and it changes constantly. 10. Recognize the goal is: positive racial identity. a. To support children to have a positive racial identity, parents need to have a positive racial identity. If a child is more advanced in their racial identity than the parent, that is what is called in counseling a “regressive relationship.” b. A positive racial identity does not mean feeling good about being White OR feeling bad about being White. c. A positive racial identity for White children means that they: i. understand what it means to be White in the context of a heavily racialized world ii. can recognize racial injustice and know ways to work against it iii. can be healthy members of multiracial communities in which everyone supports one another against the oppressions they face d. Nobody learns through shame. While we need to learn how to support children to critically analyze dolls, shows, games, movies and advertisements, we should not shame them for what they don’t know or for what they like—and certainly not for who they are. Find something to affirm or enjoy about their beloved Barbie Dreamhouse AND support them to look at it critically. It’s a fine line between criticizing a show and criticizing a child for liking the show.
Racial socialization is not what we do once a year. It is what we do “consistently, persistently and in an enduring fashion.” -Boykin and Toms
Anti-‐Racism Resources Books o Raising Race Questions (2015) Ali Michael o Everyday White People Confront Racial and Social Injustice (2015) Moore, Penick-‐Parks and Michael o A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America (2008) Ronald Takaki o Lies My Teacher Told Me (2007) J. Loewen o Everyday Antiracism (2008) Mica Pollock o White Like Me (2007) Tim Wise o Everyday Bias (2014) Howard Ross o White Teachers, Diverse Classrooms (2011) Julie Landsman and Chance Lewis o Why Race and Culture Matter in Schools (2010) Howard
Articles
Becoming an Anti-‐Racist White Ally (2009) Michael Racial Microaggressions in Everyday Life (2007) Sue Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack (1998) McIntosh
Films
o Up Against Whiteness (2005) Lee o Uprooting Racism: How White People can Work for Racial Justice (2002) Paul Kivel o Playing with Anger (2003) Howard Stevenson o Promoting Racial Literacy in Schools: Difference that makes a Difference (2014) Howard Stevenson o Excellence through Equity (2015) Blankstein & Noguera o Other People’s Children (2006) Lisa Delpit o Why Are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? (2003) Beverly Daniel Tatum o Advancing Black Male Student Success from PreSchool through Ph.D. (2015) Harper
What White Children Need to Know about Race (2014) Michael & Bartoli
Websites & Blogs
Mirrors of Privilege (2007) Shakti Butler Cracking the Codes (2012) Shakti Butler Race: The Power of Illusion (PBS) (2003) Adelman Traces of the Trade (2006) Katrina Browne Teens Talk White Privilege (2012) Ali Michael Little White Lie (2015) Lacey Schwartz I’m Not a Racist, Am I? (2014) André Robert Lee Available Online The Danger of a Single Story (2009) Adichie A Girl Like Me (2007) Davis
Rethinkingschools.org Antiracistparent.com Minorityreporter.com Racialicious.com Understandingrace.org Timwise.org Tolerance.org Microaggressions.com Raceinstitute.org
Whites Confronting Racism June 3-‐5, 2016 www.whitesconfrontingracism.org Race Institute for Educators January 28-‐30, 2015—Westtown http://www.raceinstitute.org
White Privilege Conference April 14-‐17, 2016 Philadelphia, PA www.whiteprivilegeconference.com Social Justice Training Institute http://www.sjti.org
Conferences & Events
