âChrist Preeminent in the Familyâ pt 1
“Christ Preeminent in the Family” pt 1 Date: May 5, 2013 Scripture Reading: Colossians 3:15-21 Introduction: We are nearing the end of our exposition of Colossians, and it has been quite a while since we got our bearings with respect to Paul’s overall concern throughout the book. So let me remind you of a few central points: 1) Paul expresses his main concern as he tells the Colossian Christians what he prays on their behalf in chapter 1, vss 9ff. Look at 1:10 – at the heart of that concern or desire is that they (and we) would “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him . . .” 2) He unfolds in the verses that follow his prayer the fact that he wants them to “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him” because of who the Lord Jesus is, and what he has done for them. Vss 15ff unfold who Christ Jesus the Lord is 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent – that in everything he might be preeminent! What does it mean for them to walk in a manner WORTHY OF THE LORD, FULLY PLEASING TO HIM? It means that Christ might be preeminent in everything – in all of life and in all the world. This is where part of the key sentence of our church’s vision statement came from – “WPC exists to develop in ourselves and others a passion for the glory of God and the preeminence of Christ in all of life and in all the world” 3) The occasion for Paul’s writing of Colossians was that false teachers were introducing human philosophies and traditions that were threatening to distract the Christians in Colossae from their singular focus on Christ. The heart of the epistle is Paul’s exhortation in 2:6-7 – 6 Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, 7 rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 2
4) In chapter 3 he has been unfolding how they are to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord so that Christ is preeminent in all of life, and that has brought us to the family, just as it did when Paul wrote Ephesians, in which the last three chapters unfold what it means to “walk worthy of the calling to which we have been called,” namely, to be one new redeemed humanity in Christ. And there Paul gives a much fuller description of how that is to look in the family – and we’ll refer to Ephesians as we unfold what he says here in 3:18-21. Paul was very brief here, much more so that in Ephesians, and we must be too. So let’s launch in, keeping in mind that what Paul is expounding is how we are to live worthy of the Lord Jesus Christ in light of who he is and what he has done for us, that he might be preeminent in all of life. I.
Paul begins, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” A. In other passages Paul makes it clear that this is not a cultural matter; he is not simply reflecting or accommodating the culture of his day by issuing this command that wives submit to their husbands. 1. He is unfolding God’s creational purpose and design. – Paul elsewhere refers back to Genesis 1 & 2 – before the Fall – so that we are not to think this a result of the Fall of mankind. – In Genesis 2 we are given a more detailed account of how God created Adam and Eve than in Genesis 1. Adam was created first with a view to his being the spiritual and moral leader of the home. And Eve was created to be the helper who complemented Adam. So Paul can say in 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 – that man was the image and glory of God, but woman was the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. – So God established in creation itself an order for the family – the man is to be the head, the spiritual and moral leader of the home, and the wife is to reflect a respectful submission to her husband’s leadership, helping him offer such leadership as is his responsibility before Christ 2. This creational order was corrupted in and by the Fall, but it was not the result of the Fall.
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 3
– In the Fall, Adam failed to exercise his God-given responsibility to offer the moral and spiritual leadership of his home. God had specifically addressed him, prior to the creation of Eve, giving him instructions about not eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And Adam listened to his wife instead of obeying God. Eve, on the other hand, failed to submit to God’s design and seek Adam’s counsel. Instead, she listened to the Serpent and encouraged her husband to eat of the forbidden fruit. – And part of the result of the corruption of their hearts by their sin, was that the roles of both the woman and the man were corrupted in various ways, including the fact that many of us men passively fail to offer godly spiritual and moral leadership in our homes as we ought, or, exert our headship by power and forcefulness; and many women demand their way in one way or another, and usurp the leadership of the home. The expression – which actually could apply to both men and women, but is usually uttered of the woman – “when mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” – is perhaps a reflection of that fallen tendency. So BOTH ROLES are corrupted. So Paul addresses both roles, by addressing the heart of what needs to be “fleshed out” in our lives as those being redeemed and delivered from our fallenness. What does it mean for Christ to be preeminent in the home – not the husband, but Christ? 3. It means a return to the creational order, but in accord with a far greater model than we see in Genesis – the model is Christ and his Church. B. So Paul sets forth a model given by Christ himself, in light of the fact that marriage was created with a God-intended purpose, namely, to reflect the relationship of Christ and his bride, the Church. This is Paul’s point in Ephesians 5:22-33 – Paul’s extended discussion of the marriage relationship. Paul quotes Genesis 2: 24 – 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" – and then says: 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. And the Bible will actually close in the last two chapters with the fulfilment of that purpose: Rev 19:6-8 – Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 4
mighty peals of thunder, crying out, "Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"-- for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. . . . 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. C. The model Christ puts forth through his appointed apostle, Paul, includes “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” – that is, “in the Lord Jesus Christ.” In Ephesians, Paul will make it clear that the wife is to reflect the spirit that the Church should reflect towards Christ as her head. Several things about this submission: 1. First, it does not imply inferiority as a person. The same word is used of all of us submitting in different relations in life – we are to submit to governing authorities (Romans 13:1,5; 1 Peter 2:13ff; Titus 3:1); bondservants are told to be submissive to their masters (which would apply to employees to their bosses or those over them) (Titus 2:9); church members to their leaders (1 Cor 16:16); the younger to the elder, especially in the congregation (1 Peter 5:5); none of which implies inferiority as persons. Genesis 1:27 makes it clear that both male and female are created in the image of God. And in that they are equal. When God creates the woman FOR the man, he is creating one who perfectly matches and complements the man. 2. This submission is not absolute. As with, for example, our submission to government officials, it is always with the realization that only our submission to God is ultimate and absolute in nature – so the apostles told the religious leaders: “We must obey God rather than man” (see Acts 5:29 & 4:19ff). 3. Submission is more of a spirit than an exact response, and would vary in the nature of the different relationships of life – as to the government, or in the workplace, or in marriage . . .
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 5
Paul concludes his discussion of marriage in Ephesians 5 with these words: 32 This mystery – of what marriage was created to reflect – [this mystery] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. II.
Paul exhorts husbands to “love [their] wives, and [to] not be harsh with them.” A. One might have expected Paul to say: Husbands, rule or lead your homes well; exercise your spiritual and moral leadership diligently. But he doesn’t. It is not that he doesn’t want husbands and fathers to do that – it is one of the qualifications he will give regarding officers. But Paul speaks of the spirit in which the husband is to offer his spiritual leadership of his home – he is to love his wife. If she is to submit, it ought to be to one whose main concern is to love her. B. Again, what Christ has done for marriage is restore the creational model to what it was supposed to be, but has done so by presenting a superior model for how his redeemed people are to live. Ephesians 5:25ff does so much more fully: 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. C. How did Jesus win the allegiance and devotion of his disciples, and do so, so completely that they would almost to the man lay down their lives in his service? He won them by sacrificially loving them and serving their best interests by going to the Cross on their behalf. They gladly followed him, even unto suffering and death. D. Jesus made it clear to his disciples that their leadership was to be of an altogether different sort than that of the unbelieving world – Mark 10:42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, "You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 6
A good book to help men and women understand a number of practical ways to reflect love and respect is Emerson Eggerichs’ Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs. . . . E. A passage worth a great deal of reflection is Proverbs 31:10-31 – perhaps, if I remember, I will revisit it next week briefly. It is the picture of the “excellent wife.” When you consider this passage, it is clear that the husband does not direct every detail of her life. “The heart of her husband trusts in her,” and she is given great liberty to exercise her leadership within the family and beyond. Here is a picture of a woman of incredible ability. That is the way Christ leads his people as well. He sets forth the principles of his word, but he leaves a great deal for us to exercise our gifts and abilities, to challenge us to rise to the occasion in his service. Conclusion: To live worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him in our homes, is for Christ to be preeminent in our lives, to be the model which we seek to mirror in our families, in our marriage relationships. Young folks, if you let the world – which lies under the power and deception of the evil one – dictate to you what you should think of marriage, and how it should be ordered, of sex, and what place it should have in your lives, you will suffer immense harm; you will rob yourself of the blessings God would give you in a well-ordered life, and marriage, and family. You will play into the hands of the one who from the very beginning has sought to destroy and corrupt what God has intended for good. Paul said in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” – one of the great tragedies in our lives as Christians here in America, is that we have the word of God so readily available, and too many of us fail to diligently “Let the word of Christ dwell in us richly” by eagerly hearing it taught, by diligently reading it, meditating on it, praying over it, and reading good Christian books to supplement and deepen our understanding of it and its application to our lives – including books about marriage and the family. May we seek to live worthy of our Lord Jesus Christ, laboring to make him preeminent in our families and in our marriages.
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 2
4) In chapter 3 he has been unfolding how they are to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord so that Christ is preeminent in all of life, and that has brought us to the family, just as it did when Paul wrote Ephesians, in which the last three chapters unfold what it means to “walk worthy of the calling to which we have been called,” namely, to be one new redeemed humanity in Christ. And there Paul gives a much fuller description of how that is to look in the family – and we’ll refer to Ephesians as we unfold what he says here in 3:18-21. Paul was very brief here, much more so that in Ephesians, and we must be too. So let’s launch in, keeping in mind that what Paul is expounding is how we are to live worthy of the Lord Jesus Christ in light of who he is and what he has done for us, that he might be preeminent in all of life. I.
Paul begins, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” A. In other passages Paul makes it clear that this is not a cultural matter; he is not simply reflecting or accommodating the culture of his day by issuing this command that wives submit to their husbands. 1. He is unfolding God’s creational purpose and design. – Paul elsewhere refers back to Genesis 1 & 2 – before the Fall – so that we are not to think this a result of the Fall of mankind. – In Genesis 2 we are given a more detailed account of how God created Adam and Eve than in Genesis 1. Adam was created first with a view to his being the spiritual and moral leader of the home. And Eve was created to be the helper who complemented Adam. So Paul can say in 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 – that man was the image and glory of God, but woman was the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. – So God established in creation itself an order for the family – the man is to be the head, the spiritual and moral leader of the home, and the wife is to reflect a respectful submission to her husband’s leadership, helping him offer such leadership as is his responsibility before Christ 2. This creational order was corrupted in and by the Fall, but it was not the result of the Fall.
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 3
– In the Fall, Adam failed to exercise his God-given responsibility to offer the moral and spiritual leadership of his home. God had specifically addressed him, prior to the creation of Eve, giving him instructions about not eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And Adam listened to his wife instead of obeying God. Eve, on the other hand, failed to submit to God’s design and seek Adam’s counsel. Instead, she listened to the Serpent and encouraged her husband to eat of the forbidden fruit. – And part of the result of the corruption of their hearts by their sin, was that the roles of both the woman and the man were corrupted in various ways, including the fact that many of us men passively fail to offer godly spiritual and moral leadership in our homes as we ought, or, exert our headship by power and forcefulness; and many women demand their way in one way or another, and usurp the leadership of the home. The expression – which actually could apply to both men and women, but is usually uttered of the woman – “when mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” – is perhaps a reflection of that fallen tendency. So BOTH ROLES are corrupted. So Paul addresses both roles, by addressing the heart of what needs to be “fleshed out” in our lives as those being redeemed and delivered from our fallenness. What does it mean for Christ to be preeminent in the home – not the husband, but Christ? 3. It means a return to the creational order, but in accord with a far greater model than we see in Genesis – the model is Christ and his Church. B. So Paul sets forth a model given by Christ himself, in light of the fact that marriage was created with a God-intended purpose, namely, to reflect the relationship of Christ and his bride, the Church. This is Paul’s point in Ephesians 5:22-33 – Paul’s extended discussion of the marriage relationship. Paul quotes Genesis 2: 24 – 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" – and then says: 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. And the Bible will actually close in the last two chapters with the fulfilment of that purpose: Rev 19:6-8 – Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 4
mighty peals of thunder, crying out, "Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"-- for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. . . . 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. C. The model Christ puts forth through his appointed apostle, Paul, includes “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” – that is, “in the Lord Jesus Christ.” In Ephesians, Paul will make it clear that the wife is to reflect the spirit that the Church should reflect towards Christ as her head. Several things about this submission: 1. First, it does not imply inferiority as a person. The same word is used of all of us submitting in different relations in life – we are to submit to governing authorities (Romans 13:1,5; 1 Peter 2:13ff; Titus 3:1); bondservants are told to be submissive to their masters (which would apply to employees to their bosses or those over them) (Titus 2:9); church members to their leaders (1 Cor 16:16); the younger to the elder, especially in the congregation (1 Peter 5:5); none of which implies inferiority as persons. Genesis 1:27 makes it clear that both male and female are created in the image of God. And in that they are equal. When God creates the woman FOR the man, he is creating one who perfectly matches and complements the man. 2. This submission is not absolute. As with, for example, our submission to government officials, it is always with the realization that only our submission to God is ultimate and absolute in nature – so the apostles told the religious leaders: “We must obey God rather than man” (see Acts 5:29 & 4:19ff). 3. Submission is more of a spirit than an exact response, and would vary in the nature of the different relationships of life – as to the government, or in the workplace, or in marriage . . .
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 5
Paul concludes his discussion of marriage in Ephesians 5 with these words: 32 This mystery – of what marriage was created to reflect – [this mystery] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. II.
Paul exhorts husbands to “love [their] wives, and [to] not be harsh with them.” A. One might have expected Paul to say: Husbands, rule or lead your homes well; exercise your spiritual and moral leadership diligently. But he doesn’t. It is not that he doesn’t want husbands and fathers to do that – it is one of the qualifications he will give regarding officers. But Paul speaks of the spirit in which the husband is to offer his spiritual leadership of his home – he is to love his wife. If she is to submit, it ought to be to one whose main concern is to love her. B. Again, what Christ has done for marriage is restore the creational model to what it was supposed to be, but has done so by presenting a superior model for how his redeemed people are to live. Ephesians 5:25ff does so much more fully: 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. C. How did Jesus win the allegiance and devotion of his disciples, and do so, so completely that they would almost to the man lay down their lives in his service? He won them by sacrificially loving them and serving their best interests by going to the Cross on their behalf. They gladly followed him, even unto suffering and death. D. Jesus made it clear to his disciples that their leadership was to be of an altogether different sort than that of the unbelieving world – Mark 10:42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, "You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
29~Col 3:18-21 Christ Preeminent in Family, p 6
A good book to help men and women understand a number of practical ways to reflect love and respect is Emerson Eggerichs’ Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs. . . . E. A passage worth a great deal of reflection is Proverbs 31:10-31 – perhaps, if I remember, I will revisit it next week briefly. It is the picture of the “excellent wife.” When you consider this passage, it is clear that the husband does not direct every detail of her life. “The heart of her husband trusts in her,” and she is given great liberty to exercise her leadership within the family and beyond. Here is a picture of a woman of incredible ability. That is the way Christ leads his people as well. He sets forth the principles of his word, but he leaves a great deal for us to exercise our gifts and abilities, to challenge us to rise to the occasion in his service. Conclusion: To live worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him in our homes, is for Christ to be preeminent in our lives, to be the model which we seek to mirror in our families, in our marriage relationships. Young folks, if you let the world – which lies under the power and deception of the evil one – dictate to you what you should think of marriage, and how it should be ordered, of sex, and what place it should have in your lives, you will suffer immense harm; you will rob yourself of the blessings God would give you in a well-ordered life, and marriage, and family. You will play into the hands of the one who from the very beginning has sought to destroy and corrupt what God has intended for good. Paul said in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” – one of the great tragedies in our lives as Christians here in America, is that we have the word of God so readily available, and too many of us fail to diligently “Let the word of Christ dwell in us richly” by eagerly hearing it taught, by diligently reading it, meditating on it, praying over it, and reading good Christian books to supplement and deepen our understanding of it and its application to our lives – including books about marriage and the family. May we seek to live worthy of our Lord Jesus Christ, laboring to make him preeminent in our families and in our marriages.
