âChrist Preeminent in the Homeâ pt 2 amazonaws com
“Christ Preeminent in the Home” pt 2 Date: May 12, 2013 Scripture Reading: Colossians 3:15-21; text is 3:20-21 Introduction: Last week we noted that Paul’s great concern when he wrote Colossians was that the Christians in Colossae live in a manner worthy of the Lord and fully pleasing to him, that they make Christ preeminent in all of life, and now here in Colossians 3:18-21, not least in the home. Last week we dealt briefly with the husband/wife relationship. Today we turn to the parent/child. I.
Paul begins with the child A.
B.
Children are told to obey their parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 1.
It is probably significant that the child is told to “obey,” and the wife to “submit,” pointing to the different nature of the two relationships, neither, I remind you, implying inferiority as persons.
2.
By “Lord,” – this pleases the Lord – Paul no doubt means Jesus Christ the Lord – he is to be preeminent in all of life, and the child acknowledges his preeminence when he obeys his parents in everything
Paul says elsewhere that “in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful,” and so on. – See 2 Tim 3:1-2 Romans 1:28-32 is even more troubling, where such disobedience is sometimes an evidence of the wrath of God already at work . . .
C.
Positively, Paul here urges obedience because it pleases the Lord Jesus Christ, and his main purpose is that they might live worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him (1:10). It also fits well with Col 3:17 . .. In Ephesians 6:1-3 Paul develops this relationship with reference to the 5th Commandment, and particularly by focusing on its promise . . .
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 2
II.
Paul then turns to the Fathers, most likely because they have the primary responsibility for the moral and spiritual leadership of the home, and therefore of discipline, although not the sole responsibility. A.
Paul says simply: Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 1.
The word Paul uses – translated “provoke” by the ESV, means to stir up or provoke to something, in this case, most likely to anger. In Ephesians 6:4 a different word is used to say essentially the same thing, and it is often found in the OT of the people of Israel provoking the Lord to anger by their stubborn sinfulness . . .
2.
In Colossians Paul focuses on the result of provoking one’s child, namely that they may become discouraged. One of the Greek lexicons says of this word: to become disheartened to the extent of losing motivation, be discouraged, lose heart, become dispirited, Probably what Paul has in mind is the father who is harsh and overbearing, never satisfied, always critical of his child . . .
B.
In Ephesians 6:4, Paul positively sets forth the role of the father as to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 1.
The word “discipline” has several nuances, as seen in Proverbs, for example Proverbs 1:2 states part of the purpose of the book itself: – to know wisdom and instruction (there’s the word – “instruction”), to understand words of insight, . . . and Proverbs 1:7-8 – The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, In both of these passages, discipline has to do with everything a father (and mother) does to teach their children the right ways.
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 3
The same is true of “church discipline” – you are all under discipline, the discipline of teaching, whether from the pulpit or in the classroom. . . . [the last membership vow – “Do you submit to the government and discipline of the church, and promise to strive for its purity and peace?”] When parents – perhaps night after night when they read the Bible or Bible-related books to their children – or – when home schooling – or – in the everyday course and interactions with life – [when parents] teach or instruct their children in the truth, that is discipline. Everything we do to direct our children into the right ways is discipline. 2.
But Proverbs 3:11-12 speaks – at least partly – of a more formal or specific discipline: 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. Hebrews 12:3ff quotes these verses in a more extended discussion of the Lord’s disciplines. Look with me for a few moments at Hebrews 12:3ff [note the problem of fathers who did this poorly or were abusive, and the impact on their child who hears these verses . . .] The Father in the home has the primary responsibility for the discipline his children, even though often the mother is actually doing a great deal of it during the day, reinforced, however, by the father when he comes home. These verses also apply to church discipline, which is intended to correct in love. We noted last week Proverbs 13:24 – a strong statement: Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. We should also note Proverbs 29:15 – The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Illustration: Eli and his sons Hophni and Phinehas – 1 Sam 2:22-25, 29-30 and 3:10-13 . . .
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 4
3.
Paul also speaks in Ephesians 6:4 of fathers bringing their children up in the discipline and instruction of he Lord. The word for “instruction” can mean admonishing, instructing, warning. – For example, Paul says in Romans 15:14 – I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. – 1 Corinthians 10:11 says: 11 Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. What are “these things” – well, read 10:1-10 and 12ff . . . – And here in Colossians, Paul uses the word in 1:28 – “warning– and in 3:16 “admonishing one another . . .” – Titus 3:10 – 10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11 knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
4.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 . . . – note, too, the verses following about entering the land of plenty and “forgetting the Lord” – are we so often caught up in all the good things we have available, that the Lord is virtually forgotten . . . – Christ is not preeminent! He becomes peripheral! pushed out to the edge . . .
More broadly, Proverbs has a lot to say, both about discipline of children and of adults as well, and also about responding to such discipline, and I strongly encourage you to read Proverbs with that in view.
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 5
Conclusion: Several concluding remarks: 1) Notice that though the father is addressed in Colossians 3:21 and Ephesians 6:4, that children are to obey their parents – both mother and father. Both are engaged in raising and instructing and disciplining the children. But the father is responsible to be sure it happens and happens properly. So dads, Christ will hold you and me accountable . . . 2)
There are a number of good resources available to help with this task, and just to mention a few: Jay Adam’s Christian Living in the Home, published back in the early 1970s, is still a really good book, with a very good chapter on discipline of children Ted Tripp’s Shepherding a Child’s Heart and Instructing a Child’s Heart are both good books, as is his brother, Paul Tripp’s book, Age of Opportunity, about raising teenagers. Joel Beeke’s Parenting by the Promises would likely be a very good book as well, especially for Christian parents These all deal with HOW we raise our children. Some will likely say you don’t have time to read books about that. May I suggest that since we are going to be held accountable for how we raise our children, we ought to make time to read a few good books by others who have brought this material together for our benefit.
3)
Finally, all of this pertains to how we are to live in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him – whether we are children – at whatever age – or parents. Our goal should be that Christ may be preeminent in all of life, not least in our homes. That doesn’t just HAPPEN, either in our homes or in our public lives. It is something we must consciously pursue. Next week, the Lord willing, we will focus on the Christian in the workplace – Christ Preeminent in all of life.
Paul begins with the child A.
B.
Children are told to obey their parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 1.
It is probably significant that the child is told to “obey,” and the wife to “submit,” pointing to the different nature of the two relationships, neither, I remind you, implying inferiority as persons.
2.
By “Lord,” – this pleases the Lord – Paul no doubt means Jesus Christ the Lord – he is to be preeminent in all of life, and the child acknowledges his preeminence when he obeys his parents in everything
Paul says elsewhere that “in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful,” and so on. – See 2 Tim 3:1-2 Romans 1:28-32 is even more troubling, where such disobedience is sometimes an evidence of the wrath of God already at work . . .
C.
Positively, Paul here urges obedience because it pleases the Lord Jesus Christ, and his main purpose is that they might live worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him (1:10). It also fits well with Col 3:17 . .. In Ephesians 6:1-3 Paul develops this relationship with reference to the 5th Commandment, and particularly by focusing on its promise . . .
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 2
II.
Paul then turns to the Fathers, most likely because they have the primary responsibility for the moral and spiritual leadership of the home, and therefore of discipline, although not the sole responsibility. A.
Paul says simply: Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 1.
The word Paul uses – translated “provoke” by the ESV, means to stir up or provoke to something, in this case, most likely to anger. In Ephesians 6:4 a different word is used to say essentially the same thing, and it is often found in the OT of the people of Israel provoking the Lord to anger by their stubborn sinfulness . . .
2.
In Colossians Paul focuses on the result of provoking one’s child, namely that they may become discouraged. One of the Greek lexicons says of this word: to become disheartened to the extent of losing motivation, be discouraged, lose heart, become dispirited, Probably what Paul has in mind is the father who is harsh and overbearing, never satisfied, always critical of his child . . .
B.
In Ephesians 6:4, Paul positively sets forth the role of the father as to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 1.
The word “discipline” has several nuances, as seen in Proverbs, for example Proverbs 1:2 states part of the purpose of the book itself: – to know wisdom and instruction (there’s the word – “instruction”), to understand words of insight, . . . and Proverbs 1:7-8 – The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, In both of these passages, discipline has to do with everything a father (and mother) does to teach their children the right ways.
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 3
The same is true of “church discipline” – you are all under discipline, the discipline of teaching, whether from the pulpit or in the classroom. . . . [the last membership vow – “Do you submit to the government and discipline of the church, and promise to strive for its purity and peace?”] When parents – perhaps night after night when they read the Bible or Bible-related books to their children – or – when home schooling – or – in the everyday course and interactions with life – [when parents] teach or instruct their children in the truth, that is discipline. Everything we do to direct our children into the right ways is discipline. 2.
But Proverbs 3:11-12 speaks – at least partly – of a more formal or specific discipline: 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. Hebrews 12:3ff quotes these verses in a more extended discussion of the Lord’s disciplines. Look with me for a few moments at Hebrews 12:3ff [note the problem of fathers who did this poorly or were abusive, and the impact on their child who hears these verses . . .] The Father in the home has the primary responsibility for the discipline his children, even though often the mother is actually doing a great deal of it during the day, reinforced, however, by the father when he comes home. These verses also apply to church discipline, which is intended to correct in love. We noted last week Proverbs 13:24 – a strong statement: Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. We should also note Proverbs 29:15 – The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Illustration: Eli and his sons Hophni and Phinehas – 1 Sam 2:22-25, 29-30 and 3:10-13 . . .
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 4
3.
Paul also speaks in Ephesians 6:4 of fathers bringing their children up in the discipline and instruction of he Lord. The word for “instruction” can mean admonishing, instructing, warning. – For example, Paul says in Romans 15:14 – I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. – 1 Corinthians 10:11 says: 11 Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. What are “these things” – well, read 10:1-10 and 12ff . . . – And here in Colossians, Paul uses the word in 1:28 – “warning– and in 3:16 “admonishing one another . . .” – Titus 3:10 – 10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11 knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
4.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 . . . – note, too, the verses following about entering the land of plenty and “forgetting the Lord” – are we so often caught up in all the good things we have available, that the Lord is virtually forgotten . . . – Christ is not preeminent! He becomes peripheral! pushed out to the edge . . .
More broadly, Proverbs has a lot to say, both about discipline of children and of adults as well, and also about responding to such discipline, and I strongly encourage you to read Proverbs with that in view.
30~Christ Preeminent in the Home, pt 2, page 5
Conclusion: Several concluding remarks: 1) Notice that though the father is addressed in Colossians 3:21 and Ephesians 6:4, that children are to obey their parents – both mother and father. Both are engaged in raising and instructing and disciplining the children. But the father is responsible to be sure it happens and happens properly. So dads, Christ will hold you and me accountable . . . 2)
There are a number of good resources available to help with this task, and just to mention a few: Jay Adam’s Christian Living in the Home, published back in the early 1970s, is still a really good book, with a very good chapter on discipline of children Ted Tripp’s Shepherding a Child’s Heart and Instructing a Child’s Heart are both good books, as is his brother, Paul Tripp’s book, Age of Opportunity, about raising teenagers. Joel Beeke’s Parenting by the Promises would likely be a very good book as well, especially for Christian parents These all deal with HOW we raise our children. Some will likely say you don’t have time to read books about that. May I suggest that since we are going to be held accountable for how we raise our children, we ought to make time to read a few good books by others who have brought this material together for our benefit.
3)
Finally, all of this pertains to how we are to live in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him – whether we are children – at whatever age – or parents. Our goal should be that Christ may be preeminent in all of life, not least in our homes. That doesn’t just HAPPEN, either in our homes or in our public lives. It is something we must consciously pursue. Next week, the Lord willing, we will focus on the Christian in the workplace – Christ Preeminent in all of life.
