Bible Study
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Leader Book
Authentic Relationships: being real in an artificial world
Bible Study That Builds C hristian C ommunity
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© Copyright 2001, 2003 Serendipity House
All rights reserved
No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing by the publisher. Requests for permission should be addressed in writing to Serendipity House; 117 10th Avenue, North; Nashville, TN 37234.
ISBN: 1-5749-4090-2
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission.
To order additional copies of this resource: ORDER ONLINE at www.serendipityhouse.com; VISIT the LifeWay Christian Store serving you; WRITE Serendipity House 117 10th Avenue, North Nashville, TN 37234 FAX (615) 277-8181 PHONE (800) 525-9563
Printed in the United States of America
117 10th Avenue, North Nashville, Tennessee 37234
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Contents
SESSION 1
R
Being a Real Friend
John 15:9–17
8
Ruth 1:1–18
18
1 Samuel 18:1–9
30
Matthew 1:18–25
40
Luke 15:11–32
52
Genesis 33:1–11
64
Luke 10:38–42
74
Acts 15:36–41
84
2 Kings 2:1–15a
94
Philemon 4–21
108
Job 2:11–13; 6:14–21
120
2 Timothy 1:1–14
130
Matthew 20:20–28
142
SESSION 2 Showing Real Loyalty
SESSION 3 Developing Real Intimacy
SESSION 4 Showing Real Trust
SESSION 5 Making Forgiveness Real
SESSION 6 Making God’s Love Real
SESSION 7 Dealing with Real Conflicts
SESSION 8 Believing in Real Change
SESSION 9 Finding Real Mentors
SESSION 10 Demonstrating Real Equality
SESSION 11 Giving Real Support
SESSION 12 Showing Real Confidence
SESSION 13 Understanding Real Greatness
R
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Core Values Community: The purpose of this curriculum is to build community within the body of believers around Jesus Christ. Group Process: To build community, the curriculum must be designed to take a group through a step-by-step process of sharing your story with one another. Interactive Bible Study: To share your “story,” the approach to Scripture in the curriculum needs to be open-ended and right-brained—to “level the playing field” and encourage everyone to share. Developmental Stages: To provide a healthy program in the life cycle of a group, the curriculum needs to offer courses on three levels of commitment:
(1) Beginner Level—low-level entry, high structure, to level the playing field;
(2) Growth Level—deeper Bible study, flexible structure, to encourage group accountability; (3) Discipleship Level—in-depth Bible study, open structure, to move the group into high gear. Target Audiences: To build community throughout the culture of the church, the curriculum needs to be flexible, adaptable, and transferable into the structure of the average church. Mission: To expand the kingdom of God one person at a time by filling the “empty chair.” (We add an extra chair to each group session to remind us of our mission.)
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Group Covenant It is important that your group covenant together, agreeing to live out important group values. Once these values are agreed upon, your group will be on its way to experiencing Christian community. It’s very important that your group discuss these values—preferably as you begin this study. The first session would be most appropriate. (Check the rules to which each member of your group agrees.)
Priority: While you are in this course of study, you give the group meetings priority. Participation: Everyone is encouraged to participate and no one dominates. Respect: Everyone is given the right to his or her own opinion, and all questions are encouraged and respected. Confidentiality: Anything that is said in the meeting is never repeated outside the meeting. Life Change: We will regularly assess our own life-change goals and encourage one another in our pursuit of Christlikeness. Empty Chair: The group stays open to reaching new people at every meeting. Care and Support: Permission is given to call upon each other at any time, especially in times of crisis. The group will provide care for every member. Accountability: We agree to let the members of the group hold us accountable to the commitments we make in whatever loving ways we decide upon. Mission: We will do everything in our power to start a new group. Ministry: The group will encourage one another to volunteer and serve in a ministry and to support missions by giving financially and/or personally serving.
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For the Leader Each group meeting consists of a three-part agenda:
Icebreaker – Fun questions designed to warm the group and build understanding about other group members. These questions prepare the group for meaningful discussion throughout the session.
Bible Study – The heart of each session is the Bible study time. The Life Connections series involves six easy-to-understand segments. 1. Scripture Reading – Each Bible study begins with the reading of the focal passage. 2. About Today’s Session – This section of the Bible Study time is designed to peak the interest of attendees and introduce the theme for the session. In most instances there will be a reminder of what was studied the previous week, a captivating illustration or analogy related to everyday life, and a statement describing what life-changing topic will be given attention. 3. Identifying with the Story – During this segment of the Bible Study, subgroups learn more about each other by answering questions that will help them share their story. These questions directly relate to the topic for the day. 4. Today’s Session – This short teaching time will be led by the Master Teacher. These scripted teachings include a depth of biblical understanding, fascinating illustrations, analogies, statistics, and stories that will spark questions and conviction. 5. Learning from the Story – Subgroups will gather to answer a series of questions that anticipate commitment to applying the truths taught. 6. Life Change Lessons – The Master Teacher gives practical suggestions that will aid attendees in carrying out the commitments they make.
Caring Time – All study should point us to action. Each session ends with prayer and direction in caring for the needs of group members. Time is also provided to pray for the "empty chair." The empty chair is a visible symbol of the need for each group to lead an unbeliever to a relationship with Jesus Christ.
The cross icon and boxed text represents portions of the student book that have been reprinted in this book.
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Every Life Connections group must fill three important roles. Each responsibility is vital to the success of the class. Teacher – The teacher is the key leader of any Life Connections group. It is the responsibility of the teacher to: 1. enlist facilitators and apprentices. 2. make facilitators and apprentices aware of their roles and be certain these responsibilities are carried out. 3. meet periodically with facilitators to train, encourage, and inspire them. 4. cast vision for and keep the group focused on the goals of the group. 5. guide group members to understand and commit to the group covenant. 6. be sure the group utilizes, fills, and evangelizes through use of the empty chair concept. 7. act as the Master Teacher for the group. 8. keep the group on task throughout each session. Facilitator – Each subgroup will have a facilitator. It is the responsibility of the facilitators to: 1. lead each individual in their subgroup to participate in Icebreaker activities. 2. involve all members in their subgroup in the Identifying with the Story section of the study. 3. guide those in their subgroup to commit to apply the lessons learned in the Learning from the Story section of the weekly session. 4. with sensitivity and wisdom lead their subgroup to minister to one another during the Caring Time and involve their subgroup in ministry and evangelism. 5. minister to the needs of their subgroup members and lead them to minister to the needs of one another both during and between meetings. Apprentice – Every subgroup must have an apprentice. When the group consistently has eight or more in attendance, the group should divide into two groups. The apprentice will become the facilitator of the new group and choose an apprentice who will someday be the facilitator of a group. It is the role of the apprentice to: 1. learn from the facilitator of their group. 2. make welcome all new subgroup members. 3. be certain student books and pens or pencils are available for all participants. 4. turn in prayer requests. 5. encourage participation by actively participating themselves. 6. lead the group when the facilitator is unavailable. For more information and frequently asked questions about Life Connections, visit our Web site at www.serendipityhouse.com. 7
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Session
1
Being a
Real Friend
R
Prepare for the Session READINGS
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
Monday
John 15:9
Reflect on how Christ has shown His love to you in the past week.
Tuesday
John 15:10
What command of Christ do you need to focus more on obeying?
Wednesday
John 15:11
In what way has your faith in Christ brought you joy?
John 15:12–13
What have you sacrificed for your friends?
Thursday
Friday
John 15:15
Reflect on what it means to you that Jesus is your friend and how you can open yourself more to that friendship.
Saturday
John 15:16
What kind of “fruit” is your life bearing right now?
Sunday
John 15:16–17
What do you need to ask for in Christ’s name to strengthen your friendships?
notes
:
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OUR GOALS FOR THIS SESSION ARE:
BIBLE STUDY
that we are His friends
. to understand what Jesus’ example of
In groups of 6–8, gather people in a horseshoe configuration. Make sure everyone has a name tag.
friendship means for us in our friendships
. to enumerate some behaviors that help build friendship LIFE CHANGE
After the Icebreaker say something like, “Just as there were people we wanted to be like when we were children, there is one we should seek to be like when it comes to being a friend. That person is Jesus Christ. Today we will look at how Christ sets our example of what real friendship should be.” Hand out the Prayer/Praise Report. A sample copy is on pages 158-159. Have people write down prayer requests and praises. Then have the prayer coordinator collect the report and make copies for use during the Caring Time.
. to set aside at least three hours this coming week for friendship building
. to share something new about ourselves
Take time to share information on class parties that are coming up as well as any relevant church events.
INTRODUCE THE ICEBREAKER ACTIVITY: The students have been told in their books to choose one answer.
. to learn what Jesus meant when He said
with a friend
. to identify at least two talents a friend has and encourage him or her in at least one of them
R Icebreaker
(10-15 minutes)
Childhood Superheroes. Go around on question 1 and let everyone share a personal hero. Then go around on question 2. 1. Which of the following heroes or superheroes did you most admire and want to be like when you were a child?
Superman Nancy Drew Martin Luther King, Jr. Princess Leia (Star Wars) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Amelia Earhart
Wonder Woman Batman Mother Teresa Zorro Bruce Lee Other:___________
2. What special ability or “superpower” could you most use in your life right now? x-ray vision—to keep track of my child … or mate! the ability to fly—the ultimate escape mechanism! the ability to appear at the crucial moment—to make sure I’m always there to “save the day”! the investigative power of a great detective—to get past the “stories” to the truth invulnerability—so the criticisms of others would bounce off, like bullets bounce off Superman the ability to walk on water—to stay above it all! other: ________________________________________
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R Bible Study
LEARNING FROM THE BIBLE
(30-45 minutes)
The Scripture for this week:
JOHN 15:9–17
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.” 9
Have a member of the class, selected ahead of time, read aloud the passage from John.
Summarize these introductory remarks. Be sure to include the underlined information, which gives the answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin). Begin with something like: “Welcome to this study of Authentic Relationships: Being Real in an Artificial World. In this study we will talk about the qualities we need to develop to make our relationships real and satisfying. To start our study we will be looking at ‘Being a Real Friend,’ and how Jesus is our example for being a real friend.” What makes developing friendships difficult today? Do you have a favorite television “friend”? Why are vicarious television friendships inadequate?
notes
:
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…about today’s session (5 minutes) REAL FRIENDSHIPS
People hunger for true friendship. However, with schedules that are more and more hectic, a lot of people seem to have trouble making time to develop those friendships. Some believe that is why television shows picturing close friendships become so popular. Cheers is where “everybody knows your name.” Friends pictures four young adults who seem to live 90 percent of their lives together in one of their two apartments. Home Improvement featured the wise nextdoor neighbor friend, and Seinfeld the zany, off-the-wall friend. Old sitcoms like Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore, and Bob Newhart all featured friends who would just drop by. Many of us in real life have no friends who just drop by. But by watching these shows it’s as though we can have vicarious friendships without having to put in the time and effort to develop them. The only problem is that these “friendships” are not real. 10
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How do we develop friendships that are real? All of the sessions in this study will have something to say about that. But in this session in particular we will look at what Jesus’ example of friendship has to say to us. In a fictitious world, no friendship has been more real than the one He showed us. As we learn of it, we will also seek to imitate it.
Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration. In this small group session, students will be responding to the following questions that will help them share their stories in terms of what Jesus says to His disciples in John 15:9–17. Have the students explore these questions together.
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R
Identifying with the Story
(5-7 minutes)
1. How would you describe the people you called friends in high school?
2. What was something these friends knew about you that most other people did not?
3. What is the greatest sacrifice you remember a friend making for you?
notes
:
Share with your class the following information which you may modify according to your own perspectives and teaching needs. The answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin) are underlined.
R today’s session (15-20 minutes)
A time-honored method of learning is doing an apprenticeship. You work alongside someone who is an experienced master at a trade and you learn what cannot always be taught in books. Plumbers and people in construction often learn this way, and, in essence, so do medical doctors who have to spend time as interns and later as residents. We seek to learn about real friendship as apprentices of Jesus Christ, the Master Friend. As we look at the Bible this week, we will see how Jesus demonstrated friendship and what He said to us about showing friendship. 11
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R today’s session (cont’d) Not a Typical Friendship
Why is Jesus’ friendship with us not a typical friendship?
The first thing we should acknowledge is that Jesus’ friendship with us is not a typical friendship. A typical friendship is a relationship between equals. Neither person is above the other. Jesus Christ, however, is God’s Son, and we are called to submit to His authority. Therefore, we have the emphasis in this passage that we must obey His commands (vv. 10,14). Still, there are some qualities in how Jesus related to those He was teaching and training (His disciples) that help us see more clearly what a real friend should be. Let’s look at some of those qualities.
Qualities of Real Friendship
What are some examples of Jesus sharing His feelings with His disciples?
What is one example of Jesus sharing particularly vital information with His disciples?
Jesus told His disciples, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (v. 15). This reminds us that an important quality of real friendship is revealing one’s thoughts and feelings. Jesus did not hide anything from His followers. When He was angry with His followers He let them know. On one occasion He told one of His chief disciples, Peter, “ ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ ” because he tried to keep Jesus from going to suffer in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:23). On another occasion He got angry with them for not having the faith required to heal someone (Matt. 17:17). But in addition to expressing His anger, He also did not hesitate to convey His love (v. 9), His joy (v. 11), and His sadness, as when He was in Gethsemane, an olive grove at the foot of the Mount of Olives where Jesus sometimes went to be alone (Matt. 26:38). People who do not share the full range of their feelings with each other cannot fully be friends. Jesus also did not hide information from His disciple friends. Here He says that He told them all He had learned from the Father (v. 15). He warned them on three different occasions that He would face suffering and death in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:21; 17:22–23; 20:17–19). Some might have avoided sharing such unpleasant information, but Jesus wanted the disciples to prepare themselves. Some leaders who are not friends with their followers seek to hide information from them. Deals that sell the company and eliminate jobs are made behind closed doors, with employees not knowing until the last minute. Illegal acts are committed by government leaders who are only concerned about maintaining “plausible deniability.” That was not the way Jesus operated with the disciples. He always brought them “into the loop” because they were His friends.
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Another important quality of real friendship we find in this passage is that a friend respects your wishes. Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command” (v. 14). If any other person said that we would see it as controlling and arrogant, and not at all the statement of a friend. But, as we said before, Jesus’ friendship with us is not a typical friendship because Jesus is not a typical person. As the Son of God He has the right to give commands for us to follow. Since He knows what is right for us, following His commandments helps us enrich our lives as well as the lives of others. Ignoring those commands would not show respect for who Jesus is—the owner and director of our lives. The equivalent of this quality in other friendships is that we should respect the wishes of our friends. They cannot command us as Christ can. But just as respect for Jesus’ commands means respect for who He is as Lord, so respect for the wishes of our friends means respect for who they are as people. Respect for their wishes does not mean we always do what they want. It does mean we don’t dismiss their wishes prematurely, and that if our wishes conflict, we seek a compromise so both of us can have part of what we want.
What is one way we may need to make a sacrifice for a friend?
What kind of “fruit” did Jesus want His disciples to have in their lives?
This brings us to a third important quality of friendship; friends sacrifice for each other. Jesus said in verse 13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Of course, this is exactly what Jesus did for us. He laid down His life by going to the cross so that we could have forgiveness and new life. Even though Jesus is greater than we are, He was the one willing to sacrifice first. That is an example of friendship! As we are told in 1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Our sacrifice generally will not require that we physically die for our friends, but it should at least mean we will give up living our lives just for ourselves. We should learn to sacrifice some of what we would like to do in order to show love to a friend. This could mean sacrificing time, because friendships take time. We may have a lot of projects that we want to spend our time on. But do we have the love to give some of that precious time to a friend? Finally, friends encourage each other to develop and use their talents. Jesus said in verse 16, “I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” Jesus was saying that He wanted to help His followers use their talents to make a difference that would have eternal significance. Conversely, He didn’t want them to have the frustration of putting their time and talents into activities that just passed the time or that didn’t result in a lasting contribution. The contributions that really last, He pointed out, were those that were made to further the work and rule of God in our lives and the world (Matt. 6:19–21). 13
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R today’s session (cont’d)
Some so-called friends are not really interested in whether you develop your talents or how you use them. They want you to appreciate and praise their talents. Whatever ability you show is a threat to their ego. That is not the kind of friendship Jesus modeled. We can never fully be the kind of friend Jesus is to each of us. But if He is our model, our friendships with the people around us will become more and more real.
notes
:
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Learning from the Story
(5-7 minutes)
Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration.
1. Of the things Jesus talks about in this passage, which one is most important to you in a friendship?
In this small-group session, students will be applying the lessons of the text to their own lives through the following questions.
Friends reveal their true thoughts and feelings to each other (v. 15). Friends respect each other’s wishes (vv. 10,14). Friends sacrifice for each other (v. 13). Friends encourage each other to live “fruitful” lives (v. 16).
The students were asked (in the student book) to choose an answer for each question and explain why.
2. Rank your own situation on the following scales in terms of whether or not you feel you have friends who do each action. REVEAL THEIR TRUE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS TO ME 1
.
2
.
3
.
4
.
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
Never
RESPECT MY WISHES 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 .
Always
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
Never
SACRIFICE FOR ME 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . Never
. 10
. 10 Always
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
. 10 Always
ENCOURAGE ME TO USE MY TALENTS AND BE “FRUITFUL” 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 Never
Always 14
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3. To be a better friend to others, which of the following do you most need to work on? Revealing my true thoughts and feelings—I’m a private person. Respecting the desires of others—I get focused on my own agenda! Sacrificing for others—I don’t give up things easily. Encouraging the talents of my friends—I get jealous of the talents of others.
notes
:
Share with the class the following thoughts on how the lessons of this text might be applied today. The answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin) are underlined unless the question requires a personal answer. What old saying is quoted in the presentation?
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life change lessons (5-7 minutes) The old saying is, “To have a friend you’ve got to be one.” The idea behind this saying is that if we are self-focused, concerned about what we do or do not have in terms of friendship, then we won’t be considering the acts of friendship that others need. As a result, they’ll have no reason to be our friend. It’s very similar to something that Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it” (Matt. 16:25). So as we seek to apply this week’s session, we need to look at some specific things we can do to be real friends to others. Here are some suggestions that are in line with what we have been talking about: 1. SET ASIDE AT LEAST THREE HOURS THIS COMING WEEK FOR FRIENDSHIP BUILDING. This time could be used for calling people to see how they are doing, for having a cup of coffee with someone, for helping someone with a project, or whatever fits your mutual interests. 2. SHARE SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOURSELF WITH A FRIEND. Think through what it is that you want to share ahead of time. It should reveal something significant about you. The person you choose to share this with should be someone you are willing to trust and who you want to know better.
What ways are suggested for encouraging friends in the use of their talents?
3. IDENTIFY AT LEAST TWO TALENTS A FRIEND HAS AND ENCOURAGE HIM OR HER IN AT LEAST ONE OF THEM. Encouraging a friend can mean anything from complimenting how you’ve seen him or her use a talent, to attending an event (concert, game, worship service, class, etc.) where your friend is using that talent and giving positive feedback about what you experience. 15
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CARING TIME Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration. Hand out the Prayer/ Praise Report to the entire group. Ask each subgroup to pray for the empty chair. Pray specifically for God to guide you to someone to bring next week to fill that chair. After a sufficient time of prayer in subgroups, close in a corporate prayer. Say, “Next week we will talk about: ‘Showing Real Loyalty.’ ”
R Caring Time
(15-20 minutes)
This is the time for developing and expressing your concern for each other. Thank God for the friendship of Jesus and ask for the grace to be a better friend to others. Pray that each group member will be able to fulfill the life change goals discussed today. Pray also for the concerns and requests listed on the Prayer/Praise Report. Take turns praying, remembering the requests and concerns that have been shared. If you would like to pray silently, say “Amen” when you have finished your prayer, so the next person will know when to start.
notes
:
Remind participants of the daily Scripture readings and reflective questions found on page 18.
BIBLE STUDY NOTES
R Reference Notes
Use these notes to gain further understanding of the text as you study on your own.
JOHN 15:10 the new command
If you obey my commands. Which commands? The commands to love! Jesus had just referred to His “new command” that they love one another (John 13:34; see also 15:12). The other gospels record that Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls, and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt. 22:34–40; Mark 12:28–34; Luke 10:25–28).
JOHN 15:11 joy
your joy may be complete. Joy that is focused on one’s own well-being alone is not complete. Only joy that sees our connection with God and with all God’s creatures is complete because it is joy that does not require the other’s sadness.
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JOHN 15:13 sacrifice
Greater love has no one than this. The ultimate example of love was Jesus’ own sacrifice on the cross. Some have said this is a narrower concept than the concept that Christ died for all. But the words of verse 14, “You are my friends if you do what I command” mean that the choice lies with us. All have the opportunity to be Christ’s friends.
JOHN 15:15 love
servants … friends. A relationship of servitude is based on power. A relationship of friendship is based on love. Jesus, in His love, has made His followers privy to information normally only shared among colleagues, not between a master and his servants. Still, this friendship is not one of equals, for it is predicated upon obedience on the part of the disciples.
JOHN 15:16 eternal fruit
You did not choose me, but I chose you. Some have interpreted this to mean that people have no choice in becoming a Christian—Christ chooses us. However, this passage may be seen as nothing more than historical reality about the first disciples—Jesus went out looking for them, as the Gospels make evident (see, for example, Matt. 4:18–22). bear fruit—fruit that will last. Jesus is promising that what they accomplish through Him won’t be transitory; it will be as eternal as God’s kingdom.
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Leader Book
Authentic Relationships: being real in an artificial world
Bible Study That Builds C hristian C ommunity
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© Copyright 2001, 2003 Serendipity House
All rights reserved
No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing by the publisher. Requests for permission should be addressed in writing to Serendipity House; 117 10th Avenue, North; Nashville, TN 37234.
ISBN: 1-5749-4090-2
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission.
To order additional copies of this resource: ORDER ONLINE at www.serendipityhouse.com; VISIT the LifeWay Christian Store serving you; WRITE Serendipity House 117 10th Avenue, North Nashville, TN 37234 FAX (615) 277-8181 PHONE (800) 525-9563
Printed in the United States of America
117 10th Avenue, North Nashville, Tennessee 37234
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Contents
SESSION 1
R
Being a Real Friend
John 15:9–17
8
Ruth 1:1–18
18
1 Samuel 18:1–9
30
Matthew 1:18–25
40
Luke 15:11–32
52
Genesis 33:1–11
64
Luke 10:38–42
74
Acts 15:36–41
84
2 Kings 2:1–15a
94
Philemon 4–21
108
Job 2:11–13; 6:14–21
120
2 Timothy 1:1–14
130
Matthew 20:20–28
142
SESSION 2 Showing Real Loyalty
SESSION 3 Developing Real Intimacy
SESSION 4 Showing Real Trust
SESSION 5 Making Forgiveness Real
SESSION 6 Making God’s Love Real
SESSION 7 Dealing with Real Conflicts
SESSION 8 Believing in Real Change
SESSION 9 Finding Real Mentors
SESSION 10 Demonstrating Real Equality
SESSION 11 Giving Real Support
SESSION 12 Showing Real Confidence
SESSION 13 Understanding Real Greatness
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Core Values Community: The purpose of this curriculum is to build community within the body of believers around Jesus Christ. Group Process: To build community, the curriculum must be designed to take a group through a step-by-step process of sharing your story with one another. Interactive Bible Study: To share your “story,” the approach to Scripture in the curriculum needs to be open-ended and right-brained—to “level the playing field” and encourage everyone to share. Developmental Stages: To provide a healthy program in the life cycle of a group, the curriculum needs to offer courses on three levels of commitment:
(1) Beginner Level—low-level entry, high structure, to level the playing field;
(2) Growth Level—deeper Bible study, flexible structure, to encourage group accountability; (3) Discipleship Level—in-depth Bible study, open structure, to move the group into high gear. Target Audiences: To build community throughout the culture of the church, the curriculum needs to be flexible, adaptable, and transferable into the structure of the average church. Mission: To expand the kingdom of God one person at a time by filling the “empty chair.” (We add an extra chair to each group session to remind us of our mission.)
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Group Covenant It is important that your group covenant together, agreeing to live out important group values. Once these values are agreed upon, your group will be on its way to experiencing Christian community. It’s very important that your group discuss these values—preferably as you begin this study. The first session would be most appropriate. (Check the rules to which each member of your group agrees.)
Priority: While you are in this course of study, you give the group meetings priority. Participation: Everyone is encouraged to participate and no one dominates. Respect: Everyone is given the right to his or her own opinion, and all questions are encouraged and respected. Confidentiality: Anything that is said in the meeting is never repeated outside the meeting. Life Change: We will regularly assess our own life-change goals and encourage one another in our pursuit of Christlikeness. Empty Chair: The group stays open to reaching new people at every meeting. Care and Support: Permission is given to call upon each other at any time, especially in times of crisis. The group will provide care for every member. Accountability: We agree to let the members of the group hold us accountable to the commitments we make in whatever loving ways we decide upon. Mission: We will do everything in our power to start a new group. Ministry: The group will encourage one another to volunteer and serve in a ministry and to support missions by giving financially and/or personally serving.
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For the Leader Each group meeting consists of a three-part agenda:
Icebreaker – Fun questions designed to warm the group and build understanding about other group members. These questions prepare the group for meaningful discussion throughout the session.
Bible Study – The heart of each session is the Bible study time. The Life Connections series involves six easy-to-understand segments. 1. Scripture Reading – Each Bible study begins with the reading of the focal passage. 2. About Today’s Session – This section of the Bible Study time is designed to peak the interest of attendees and introduce the theme for the session. In most instances there will be a reminder of what was studied the previous week, a captivating illustration or analogy related to everyday life, and a statement describing what life-changing topic will be given attention. 3. Identifying with the Story – During this segment of the Bible Study, subgroups learn more about each other by answering questions that will help them share their story. These questions directly relate to the topic for the day. 4. Today’s Session – This short teaching time will be led by the Master Teacher. These scripted teachings include a depth of biblical understanding, fascinating illustrations, analogies, statistics, and stories that will spark questions and conviction. 5. Learning from the Story – Subgroups will gather to answer a series of questions that anticipate commitment to applying the truths taught. 6. Life Change Lessons – The Master Teacher gives practical suggestions that will aid attendees in carrying out the commitments they make.
Caring Time – All study should point us to action. Each session ends with prayer and direction in caring for the needs of group members. Time is also provided to pray for the "empty chair." The empty chair is a visible symbol of the need for each group to lead an unbeliever to a relationship with Jesus Christ.
The cross icon and boxed text represents portions of the student book that have been reprinted in this book.
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Every Life Connections group must fill three important roles. Each responsibility is vital to the success of the class. Teacher – The teacher is the key leader of any Life Connections group. It is the responsibility of the teacher to: 1. enlist facilitators and apprentices. 2. make facilitators and apprentices aware of their roles and be certain these responsibilities are carried out. 3. meet periodically with facilitators to train, encourage, and inspire them. 4. cast vision for and keep the group focused on the goals of the group. 5. guide group members to understand and commit to the group covenant. 6. be sure the group utilizes, fills, and evangelizes through use of the empty chair concept. 7. act as the Master Teacher for the group. 8. keep the group on task throughout each session. Facilitator – Each subgroup will have a facilitator. It is the responsibility of the facilitators to: 1. lead each individual in their subgroup to participate in Icebreaker activities. 2. involve all members in their subgroup in the Identifying with the Story section of the study. 3. guide those in their subgroup to commit to apply the lessons learned in the Learning from the Story section of the weekly session. 4. with sensitivity and wisdom lead their subgroup to minister to one another during the Caring Time and involve their subgroup in ministry and evangelism. 5. minister to the needs of their subgroup members and lead them to minister to the needs of one another both during and between meetings. Apprentice – Every subgroup must have an apprentice. When the group consistently has eight or more in attendance, the group should divide into two groups. The apprentice will become the facilitator of the new group and choose an apprentice who will someday be the facilitator of a group. It is the role of the apprentice to: 1. learn from the facilitator of their group. 2. make welcome all new subgroup members. 3. be certain student books and pens or pencils are available for all participants. 4. turn in prayer requests. 5. encourage participation by actively participating themselves. 6. lead the group when the facilitator is unavailable. For more information and frequently asked questions about Life Connections, visit our Web site at www.serendipityhouse.com. 7
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Session
1
Being a
Real Friend
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Prepare for the Session READINGS
REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
Monday
John 15:9
Reflect on how Christ has shown His love to you in the past week.
Tuesday
John 15:10
What command of Christ do you need to focus more on obeying?
Wednesday
John 15:11
In what way has your faith in Christ brought you joy?
John 15:12–13
What have you sacrificed for your friends?
Thursday
Friday
John 15:15
Reflect on what it means to you that Jesus is your friend and how you can open yourself more to that friendship.
Saturday
John 15:16
What kind of “fruit” is your life bearing right now?
Sunday
John 15:16–17
What do you need to ask for in Christ’s name to strengthen your friendships?
notes
:
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OUR GOALS FOR THIS SESSION ARE:
BIBLE STUDY
that we are His friends
. to understand what Jesus’ example of
In groups of 6–8, gather people in a horseshoe configuration. Make sure everyone has a name tag.
friendship means for us in our friendships
. to enumerate some behaviors that help build friendship LIFE CHANGE
After the Icebreaker say something like, “Just as there were people we wanted to be like when we were children, there is one we should seek to be like when it comes to being a friend. That person is Jesus Christ. Today we will look at how Christ sets our example of what real friendship should be.” Hand out the Prayer/Praise Report. A sample copy is on pages 158-159. Have people write down prayer requests and praises. Then have the prayer coordinator collect the report and make copies for use during the Caring Time.
. to set aside at least three hours this coming week for friendship building
. to share something new about ourselves
Take time to share information on class parties that are coming up as well as any relevant church events.
INTRODUCE THE ICEBREAKER ACTIVITY: The students have been told in their books to choose one answer.
. to learn what Jesus meant when He said
with a friend
. to identify at least two talents a friend has and encourage him or her in at least one of them
R Icebreaker
(10-15 minutes)
Childhood Superheroes. Go around on question 1 and let everyone share a personal hero. Then go around on question 2. 1. Which of the following heroes or superheroes did you most admire and want to be like when you were a child?
Superman Nancy Drew Martin Luther King, Jr. Princess Leia (Star Wars) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Amelia Earhart
Wonder Woman Batman Mother Teresa Zorro Bruce Lee Other:___________
2. What special ability or “superpower” could you most use in your life right now? x-ray vision—to keep track of my child … or mate! the ability to fly—the ultimate escape mechanism! the ability to appear at the crucial moment—to make sure I’m always there to “save the day”! the investigative power of a great detective—to get past the “stories” to the truth invulnerability—so the criticisms of others would bounce off, like bullets bounce off Superman the ability to walk on water—to stay above it all! other: ________________________________________
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R Bible Study
LEARNING FROM THE BIBLE
(30-45 minutes)
The Scripture for this week:
JOHN 15:9–17
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.” 9
Have a member of the class, selected ahead of time, read aloud the passage from John.
Summarize these introductory remarks. Be sure to include the underlined information, which gives the answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin). Begin with something like: “Welcome to this study of Authentic Relationships: Being Real in an Artificial World. In this study we will talk about the qualities we need to develop to make our relationships real and satisfying. To start our study we will be looking at ‘Being a Real Friend,’ and how Jesus is our example for being a real friend.” What makes developing friendships difficult today? Do you have a favorite television “friend”? Why are vicarious television friendships inadequate?
notes
:
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…about today’s session (5 minutes) REAL FRIENDSHIPS
People hunger for true friendship. However, with schedules that are more and more hectic, a lot of people seem to have trouble making time to develop those friendships. Some believe that is why television shows picturing close friendships become so popular. Cheers is where “everybody knows your name.” Friends pictures four young adults who seem to live 90 percent of their lives together in one of their two apartments. Home Improvement featured the wise nextdoor neighbor friend, and Seinfeld the zany, off-the-wall friend. Old sitcoms like Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore, and Bob Newhart all featured friends who would just drop by. Many of us in real life have no friends who just drop by. But by watching these shows it’s as though we can have vicarious friendships without having to put in the time and effort to develop them. The only problem is that these “friendships” are not real. 10
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How do we develop friendships that are real? All of the sessions in this study will have something to say about that. But in this session in particular we will look at what Jesus’ example of friendship has to say to us. In a fictitious world, no friendship has been more real than the one He showed us. As we learn of it, we will also seek to imitate it.
Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration. In this small group session, students will be responding to the following questions that will help them share their stories in terms of what Jesus says to His disciples in John 15:9–17. Have the students explore these questions together.
1
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Identifying with the Story
(5-7 minutes)
1. How would you describe the people you called friends in high school?
2. What was something these friends knew about you that most other people did not?
3. What is the greatest sacrifice you remember a friend making for you?
notes
:
Share with your class the following information which you may modify according to your own perspectives and teaching needs. The answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin) are underlined.
R today’s session (15-20 minutes)
A time-honored method of learning is doing an apprenticeship. You work alongside someone who is an experienced master at a trade and you learn what cannot always be taught in books. Plumbers and people in construction often learn this way, and, in essence, so do medical doctors who have to spend time as interns and later as residents. We seek to learn about real friendship as apprentices of Jesus Christ, the Master Friend. As we look at the Bible this week, we will see how Jesus demonstrated friendship and what He said to us about showing friendship. 11
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R today’s session (cont’d) Not a Typical Friendship
Why is Jesus’ friendship with us not a typical friendship?
The first thing we should acknowledge is that Jesus’ friendship with us is not a typical friendship. A typical friendship is a relationship between equals. Neither person is above the other. Jesus Christ, however, is God’s Son, and we are called to submit to His authority. Therefore, we have the emphasis in this passage that we must obey His commands (vv. 10,14). Still, there are some qualities in how Jesus related to those He was teaching and training (His disciples) that help us see more clearly what a real friend should be. Let’s look at some of those qualities.
Qualities of Real Friendship
What are some examples of Jesus sharing His feelings with His disciples?
What is one example of Jesus sharing particularly vital information with His disciples?
Jesus told His disciples, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (v. 15). This reminds us that an important quality of real friendship is revealing one’s thoughts and feelings. Jesus did not hide anything from His followers. When He was angry with His followers He let them know. On one occasion He told one of His chief disciples, Peter, “ ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ ” because he tried to keep Jesus from going to suffer in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:23). On another occasion He got angry with them for not having the faith required to heal someone (Matt. 17:17). But in addition to expressing His anger, He also did not hesitate to convey His love (v. 9), His joy (v. 11), and His sadness, as when He was in Gethsemane, an olive grove at the foot of the Mount of Olives where Jesus sometimes went to be alone (Matt. 26:38). People who do not share the full range of their feelings with each other cannot fully be friends. Jesus also did not hide information from His disciple friends. Here He says that He told them all He had learned from the Father (v. 15). He warned them on three different occasions that He would face suffering and death in Jerusalem (Matt. 16:21; 17:22–23; 20:17–19). Some might have avoided sharing such unpleasant information, but Jesus wanted the disciples to prepare themselves. Some leaders who are not friends with their followers seek to hide information from them. Deals that sell the company and eliminate jobs are made behind closed doors, with employees not knowing until the last minute. Illegal acts are committed by government leaders who are only concerned about maintaining “plausible deniability.” That was not the way Jesus operated with the disciples. He always brought them “into the loop” because they were His friends.
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Another important quality of real friendship we find in this passage is that a friend respects your wishes. Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command” (v. 14). If any other person said that we would see it as controlling and arrogant, and not at all the statement of a friend. But, as we said before, Jesus’ friendship with us is not a typical friendship because Jesus is not a typical person. As the Son of God He has the right to give commands for us to follow. Since He knows what is right for us, following His commandments helps us enrich our lives as well as the lives of others. Ignoring those commands would not show respect for who Jesus is—the owner and director of our lives. The equivalent of this quality in other friendships is that we should respect the wishes of our friends. They cannot command us as Christ can. But just as respect for Jesus’ commands means respect for who He is as Lord, so respect for the wishes of our friends means respect for who they are as people. Respect for their wishes does not mean we always do what they want. It does mean we don’t dismiss their wishes prematurely, and that if our wishes conflict, we seek a compromise so both of us can have part of what we want.
What is one way we may need to make a sacrifice for a friend?
What kind of “fruit” did Jesus want His disciples to have in their lives?
This brings us to a third important quality of friendship; friends sacrifice for each other. Jesus said in verse 13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Of course, this is exactly what Jesus did for us. He laid down His life by going to the cross so that we could have forgiveness and new life. Even though Jesus is greater than we are, He was the one willing to sacrifice first. That is an example of friendship! As we are told in 1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Our sacrifice generally will not require that we physically die for our friends, but it should at least mean we will give up living our lives just for ourselves. We should learn to sacrifice some of what we would like to do in order to show love to a friend. This could mean sacrificing time, because friendships take time. We may have a lot of projects that we want to spend our time on. But do we have the love to give some of that precious time to a friend? Finally, friends encourage each other to develop and use their talents. Jesus said in verse 16, “I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” Jesus was saying that He wanted to help His followers use their talents to make a difference that would have eternal significance. Conversely, He didn’t want them to have the frustration of putting their time and talents into activities that just passed the time or that didn’t result in a lasting contribution. The contributions that really last, He pointed out, were those that were made to further the work and rule of God in our lives and the world (Matt. 6:19–21). 13
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R today’s session (cont’d)
Some so-called friends are not really interested in whether you develop your talents or how you use them. They want you to appreciate and praise their talents. Whatever ability you show is a threat to their ego. That is not the kind of friendship Jesus modeled. We can never fully be the kind of friend Jesus is to each of us. But if He is our model, our friendships with the people around us will become more and more real.
notes
:
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Learning from the Story
(5-7 minutes)
Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration.
1. Of the things Jesus talks about in this passage, which one is most important to you in a friendship?
In this small-group session, students will be applying the lessons of the text to their own lives through the following questions.
Friends reveal their true thoughts and feelings to each other (v. 15). Friends respect each other’s wishes (vv. 10,14). Friends sacrifice for each other (v. 13). Friends encourage each other to live “fruitful” lives (v. 16).
The students were asked (in the student book) to choose an answer for each question and explain why.
2. Rank your own situation on the following scales in terms of whether or not you feel you have friends who do each action. REVEAL THEIR TRUE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS TO ME 1
.
2
.
3
.
4
.
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
Never
RESPECT MY WISHES 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 .
Always
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
Never
SACRIFICE FOR ME 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . Never
. 10
. 10 Always
5
.
6
.
7
.
8
.
9
. 10 Always
ENCOURAGE ME TO USE MY TALENTS AND BE “FRUITFUL” 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 Never
Always 14
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3. To be a better friend to others, which of the following do you most need to work on? Revealing my true thoughts and feelings—I’m a private person. Respecting the desires of others—I get focused on my own agenda! Sacrificing for others—I don’t give up things easily. Encouraging the talents of my friends—I get jealous of the talents of others.
notes
:
Share with the class the following thoughts on how the lessons of this text might be applied today. The answers to the student book questions (provided in the margin) are underlined unless the question requires a personal answer. What old saying is quoted in the presentation?
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life change lessons (5-7 minutes) The old saying is, “To have a friend you’ve got to be one.” The idea behind this saying is that if we are self-focused, concerned about what we do or do not have in terms of friendship, then we won’t be considering the acts of friendship that others need. As a result, they’ll have no reason to be our friend. It’s very similar to something that Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it” (Matt. 16:25). So as we seek to apply this week’s session, we need to look at some specific things we can do to be real friends to others. Here are some suggestions that are in line with what we have been talking about: 1. SET ASIDE AT LEAST THREE HOURS THIS COMING WEEK FOR FRIENDSHIP BUILDING. This time could be used for calling people to see how they are doing, for having a cup of coffee with someone, for helping someone with a project, or whatever fits your mutual interests. 2. SHARE SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOURSELF WITH A FRIEND. Think through what it is that you want to share ahead of time. It should reveal something significant about you. The person you choose to share this with should be someone you are willing to trust and who you want to know better.
What ways are suggested for encouraging friends in the use of their talents?
3. IDENTIFY AT LEAST TWO TALENTS A FRIEND HAS AND ENCOURAGE HIM OR HER IN AT LEAST ONE OF THEM. Encouraging a friend can mean anything from complimenting how you’ve seen him or her use a talent, to attending an event (concert, game, worship service, class, etc.) where your friend is using that talent and giving positive feedback about what you experience. 15
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CARING TIME Remain in groups of 6–8 people, in a horseshoe configuration. Hand out the Prayer/ Praise Report to the entire group. Ask each subgroup to pray for the empty chair. Pray specifically for God to guide you to someone to bring next week to fill that chair. After a sufficient time of prayer in subgroups, close in a corporate prayer. Say, “Next week we will talk about: ‘Showing Real Loyalty.’ ”
R Caring Time
(15-20 minutes)
This is the time for developing and expressing your concern for each other. Thank God for the friendship of Jesus and ask for the grace to be a better friend to others. Pray that each group member will be able to fulfill the life change goals discussed today. Pray also for the concerns and requests listed on the Prayer/Praise Report. Take turns praying, remembering the requests and concerns that have been shared. If you would like to pray silently, say “Amen” when you have finished your prayer, so the next person will know when to start.
notes
:
Remind participants of the daily Scripture readings and reflective questions found on page 18.
BIBLE STUDY NOTES
R Reference Notes
Use these notes to gain further understanding of the text as you study on your own.
JOHN 15:10 the new command
If you obey my commands. Which commands? The commands to love! Jesus had just referred to His “new command” that they love one another (John 13:34; see also 15:12). The other gospels record that Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all our hearts, minds, and souls, and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt. 22:34–40; Mark 12:28–34; Luke 10:25–28).
JOHN 15:11 joy
your joy may be complete. Joy that is focused on one’s own well-being alone is not complete. Only joy that sees our connection with God and with all God’s creatures is complete because it is joy that does not require the other’s sadness.
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JOHN 15:13 sacrifice
Greater love has no one than this. The ultimate example of love was Jesus’ own sacrifice on the cross. Some have said this is a narrower concept than the concept that Christ died for all. But the words of verse 14, “You are my friends if you do what I command” mean that the choice lies with us. All have the opportunity to be Christ’s friends.
JOHN 15:15 love
servants … friends. A relationship of servitude is based on power. A relationship of friendship is based on love. Jesus, in His love, has made His followers privy to information normally only shared among colleagues, not between a master and his servants. Still, this friendship is not one of equals, for it is predicated upon obedience on the part of the disciples.
JOHN 15:16 eternal fruit
You did not choose me, but I chose you. Some have interpreted this to mean that people have no choice in becoming a Christian—Christ chooses us. However, this passage may be seen as nothing more than historical reality about the first disciples—Jesus went out looking for them, as the Gospels make evident (see, for example, Matt. 4:18–22). bear fruit—fruit that will last. Jesus is promising that what they accomplish through Him won’t be transitory; it will be as eternal as God’s kingdom.
notes
:
17
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