DANDINI EXTRACT â THEATRE ROYAL BURY ST EDMUNDS ...
DANDINI EXTRACT – THEATRE ROYAL BURY ST EDMUNDS
PRINCE
I just saw the most beautiful creature.
DANDINI
Did you kill it sire?
PRINCE
No Dandini, I did not kill it because it was a human being. A female in rags.
DANDINI
How compassionate. Where did she go?
PRINCE
She ran off.
DANDINI
She won’t be coming to the Ball then in a ruby encrusted crinoline with diamanté earrings. I expect she’s one of those warbling forest folk.
PRINCE
I think not. I hope she has been invited. My bachelor days are over, I must find me a wife.
RAYMOND
What about the deer hunt?
PRINCE
Let it run free. Do you know, I sometimes think of that doe eyed deer as me - yes me - me being chased, always on the run. Life is so predictable in the ivory tower.
DANDINI
Why not take a sabbatical, abroad?
PRINCE
Can’t stand the heat of a foreign clime. Poverty makes me retch.
DANDINI
Join the big society.
PRINCE
Look I may be charming but I’m not necessarily sincere. No what I need to do is to fall in love - spontaneously, my heart needs to pound in my chest. I want wild irrational thoughts...I’m going to find her.
DANDINI
If she sees you’re the Prince, you’ll frighten her off. She’ll be overwhelmed sire.
PRINCE
Alright, You be me and I’ll be you
DANDINI
I can’t be you. I don’t sound like a Prince.
PRINCE
I always wondered how you got to be part of the Royal household. It’s easy to sound posh. What do we breathe?
DANDINI
Air.
PRINCE
What do have on your head?
DANDINI
Hair.
PRINCE
Where do bears live? In a...
DANDINI
Lair.
PRINCE
Put all three together and you’re a top toff.
DANDINI
Air..Hair..Lair. Air. Hair. Lair. Air,hair, lair.
PRINCE
Hair lair.
DANDINI
Air, hair lair.
PRINCE
Now you sound like me only less flamboyant. Here wear this.
(The Prince puts his insignia on Dandini’s jacket. The Ugly sisters can be heard offstage. When they enter they appear to be partly covered in animal camouflage over their outdoor pursuits outfit.) LADY G
Cooee. Ra ra ra ra ra. I’m a tiger. Chase me. Chase me.
LADY P
And I’m a poor pussy cat. Meow. Meow. Meow. Look hunters.
PRINCE
This is far too surreal for my taste.
DANDINI
Not the lady you encountered earlier then sire?
PRINCE
The antithesis.
DANDINI
What’s that?
PRINCE
The very opposite.
LADY P
Why aren’t they chasing us?
LADY G
What’s a girl got to do to get attention.
PRINCE
Oh you’ve got our attention.
LADY G
Look you’ve got a big insignia. You must be the Prince.
PRINCE
Yes he is.
DANDINI
Hold up. Air Hair Lair.
LADY P
Very well thank you. And who are you?
PRINCE
I’m the Prince’s cobbler.
LADY P
So I can see.
LADY G
Let’s be grown ups.
LADY P
and play kiss chase.
PRINCE
Good idea.
LADY G
Ready go.
LADY P
Don’t you want to chase us?
DANDINI
Not in the least. We don’t chase, we pursue.
LADY G
Well. Pursue.
LADY P
Pursue.
LADY G
Alright. We give up. You can snog us now.
DANDINI
Run for it.
(There is a chase)
EXTRACT 2 DANDINI EXTRACT – THEATRE ROYAL BURY ST EDMUNDS
PRINCE
I just saw the most beautiful creature.
DANDINI
Did you kill it sire?
PRINCE
No Dandini, I did not kill it because it was a human being. A female in rags.
DANDINI
How compassionate. Where did she go?
PRINCE
She ran off.
DANDINI
She won’t be coming to the Ball then in a ruby encrusted crinoline with diamanté earrings. I expect she’s one of those warbling forest folk.
PRINCE
I think not. I hope she has been invited. My bachelor days are over, I must find me a wife.
RAYMOND
What about the deer hunt?
PRINCE
Let it run free. Do you know, I sometimes think of that doe eyed deer as me - yes me - me being chased, always on the run. Life is so predictable in the ivory tower.
DANDINI
Why not take a sabbatical, abroad?
PRINCE
Can’t stand the heat of a foreign clime. Poverty makes me retch.
DANDINI
Join the big society.
PRINCE
Look I may be charming but I’m not necessarily sincere. No what I need to do is to fall in love - spontaneously, my heart needs to pound in my chest. I want wild irrational thoughts...I’m going to find her.
DANDINI
If she sees you’re the Prince, you’ll frighten her off. She’ll be overwhelmed sire.
PRINCE
Alright, You be me and I’ll be you
DANDINI
I can’t be you. I don’t sound like a Prince.
PRINCE
I always wondered how you got to be part of the Royal household. It’s easy to sound posh. What do we breathe?
DANDINI
Air.
PRINCE
What do have on your head?
DANDINI
Hair.
PRINCE
Where do bears live? In a...
DANDINI
Lair.
PRINCE
Put all three together and you’re a top toff.
DANDINI
Air..Hair..Lair. Air. Hair. Lair. Air,hair, lair.
PRINCE
Hair lair.
DANDINI
Air, hair lair.
PRINCE
Now you sound like me only less flamboyant. Here wear this.
(The Prince puts his insignia on Dandini’s jacket. The Ugly sisters can be heard offstage. When they enter they appear to be partly covered in animal camouflage over their outdoor pursuits outfit.) LADY G
Cooee. Ra ra ra ra ra. I’m a tiger. Chase me. Chase me.
LADY P
And I’m a poor pussy cat. Meow. Meow. Meow. Look hunters.
PRINCE
This is far too surreal for my taste.
DANDINI
Not the lady you encountered earlier then sire?
PRINCE
The antithesis.
DANDINI
What’s that?
PRINCE
The very opposite.
LADY P
Why aren’t they chasing us?
LADY G
What’s a girl got to do to get attention.
PRINCE
Oh you’ve got our attention.
LADY G
Look you’ve got a big insignia. You must be the Prince.
PRINCE
Yes he is.
DANDINI
Hold up. Air Hair Lair.
LADY P
Very well thank you. And who are you?
PRINCE
I’m the Prince’s cobbler.
LADY P
So I can see.
LADY G
Let’s be grown ups.
LADY P
and play kiss chase.
PRINCE
Good idea.
LADY G
Ready go.
LADY P
Don’t you want to chase us?
DANDINI
Not in the least. We don’t chase, we pursue.
LADY G
Well. Pursue.
LADY P
Pursue.
LADY G
Alright. We give up. You can snog us now.
DANDINI
Run for it.
(There is a chase) EXTRACT 2 THE BALL PRINCE Is there anyone else on the list Dandini? DANDINI I think everyone is here. PRINCE What’s the point of having a ball...if you’re not having one? DANDINI
A what.
PRINCE
A ball. I’m bored.
DANDINI
Ladies and Gentlemen, would you please take your partners for the first dance?
(Brahms Opus 118 no 3 cracks in and there is a comical choreographed dance to protect the Prince from the Ugly Sisters. They are thwarted. As the movement moves into the quiet section Cinderella appears at the top of the steps and all stand enchanted) PRINCE
It’s her. I’m sure.
DANDINI
Who?
PRINCE
The girl in the woods.
DANDINI
That woman has never been in a wood.
LADY G
Hey Sis, doesn’t she look like Cinderella?
LAPY P
No way, jose that girl hasn’t got a blemish.
LADY G
Cow.
BARON HARDUPShe reminds me of my first wife. LADY G
Oh Gawd, he’s gone do lally.
LADY P
Your wife’s on the other side.
BARON HARDUPWhat? Where? LADY G
Oh never mind.
(Cinderella walks down the steps slowly and fearfully as the Brahms segues into Alan Menken’s So Close. They appear to be a bubble as the others watch their encounter.) DANDINI
The Princess Crystal.
PRINCE SONG: SO CLOSE
(Cinderella and the Prince dance the Viennese Waltz as the large mirror ball spins above them and all others in the shadows stop and admire) (They are still close together as others become agitated and begin to chatter and comment about being ignored) CINDERELLA
Why did you not tell me who you were?
PRINCE
I was scared you would run away.
CINDERELLA
I did anyway and I feel like running now.
PRINCE
I will never let you go again. Are you a real Princess?
CINDERELLA
Oh no, I just made it up. He asked who I was. Oh I see...
PRINCE
Would you like to be a princess?
CINDERELLA
I did once dream that I could be but I know in truth I couldn’t. What is the time.
PRINCE
It’s not even past midnight.
CINDERELLA
How close?
PRINCE
So close.
(As the Prince attempts to start an encore we return to the more classical structure of Brahms opus 118 No 3 accompanied by the frenetic swapping of partners. They drift apart as midnight begins to strike. Cinderella runs up the stairs and near the top her shoe appears to get stuck in a hole. She tries to wrench it free but eventually decides to leave it behind.) PRINCE
She has run away again. I still have no idea who she is.
DANDINI
Sire, it seems she left something behind.
PRINCE
It’s a shoe.
DANDINI
It’s a crystal slipper.
LADY G
It’s like an episode of Downton.
LADY P
There’s more action down the road in Angel.
PRINCE
I swear that whosoever this crystal slipper fits shall be my bride. If she agrees of course. I will search this land high and low to ask for her hand in marriage. Follow me, she cannot be far.
PRINCE
I just saw the most beautiful creature.
DANDINI
Did you kill it sire?
PRINCE
No Dandini, I did not kill it because it was a human being. A female in rags.
DANDINI
How compassionate. Where did she go?
PRINCE
She ran off.
DANDINI
She won’t be coming to the Ball then in a ruby encrusted crinoline with diamanté earrings. I expect she’s one of those warbling forest folk.
PRINCE
I think not. I hope she has been invited. My bachelor days are over, I must find me a wife.
RAYMOND
What about the deer hunt?
PRINCE
Let it run free. Do you know, I sometimes think of that doe eyed deer as me - yes me - me being chased, always on the run. Life is so predictable in the ivory tower.
DANDINI
Why not take a sabbatical, abroad?
PRINCE
Can’t stand the heat of a foreign clime. Poverty makes me retch.
DANDINI
Join the big society.
PRINCE
Look I may be charming but I’m not necessarily sincere. No what I need to do is to fall in love - spontaneously, my heart needs to pound in my chest. I want wild irrational thoughts...I’m going to find her.
DANDINI
If she sees you’re the Prince, you’ll frighten her off. She’ll be overwhelmed sire.
PRINCE
Alright, You be me and I’ll be you
DANDINI
I can’t be you. I don’t sound like a Prince.
PRINCE
I always wondered how you got to be part of the Royal household. It’s easy to sound posh. What do we breathe?
DANDINI
Air.
PRINCE
What do have on your head?
DANDINI
Hair.
PRINCE
Where do bears live? In a...
DANDINI
Lair.
PRINCE
Put all three together and you’re a top toff.
DANDINI
Air..Hair..Lair. Air. Hair. Lair. Air,hair, lair.
PRINCE
Hair lair.
DANDINI
Air, hair lair.
PRINCE
Now you sound like me only less flamboyant. Here wear this.
(The Prince puts his insignia on Dandini’s jacket. The Ugly sisters can be heard offstage. When they enter they appear to be partly covered in animal camouflage over their outdoor pursuits outfit.) LADY G
Cooee. Ra ra ra ra ra. I’m a tiger. Chase me. Chase me.
LADY P
And I’m a poor pussy cat. Meow. Meow. Meow. Look hunters.
PRINCE
This is far too surreal for my taste.
DANDINI
Not the lady you encountered earlier then sire?
PRINCE
The antithesis.
DANDINI
What’s that?
PRINCE
The very opposite.
LADY P
Why aren’t they chasing us?
LADY G
What’s a girl got to do to get attention.
PRINCE
Oh you’ve got our attention.
LADY G
Look you’ve got a big insignia. You must be the Prince.
PRINCE
Yes he is.
DANDINI
Hold up. Air Hair Lair.
LADY P
Very well thank you. And who are you?
PRINCE
I’m the Prince’s cobbler.
LADY P
So I can see.
LADY G
Let’s be grown ups.
LADY P
and play kiss chase.
PRINCE
Good idea.
LADY G
Ready go.
LADY P
Don’t you want to chase us?
DANDINI
Not in the least. We don’t chase, we pursue.
LADY G
Well. Pursue.
LADY P
Pursue.
LADY G
Alright. We give up. You can snog us now.
DANDINI
Run for it.
(There is a chase)
EXTRACT 2 DANDINI EXTRACT – THEATRE ROYAL BURY ST EDMUNDS
PRINCE
I just saw the most beautiful creature.
DANDINI
Did you kill it sire?
PRINCE
No Dandini, I did not kill it because it was a human being. A female in rags.
DANDINI
How compassionate. Where did she go?
PRINCE
She ran off.
DANDINI
She won’t be coming to the Ball then in a ruby encrusted crinoline with diamanté earrings. I expect she’s one of those warbling forest folk.
PRINCE
I think not. I hope she has been invited. My bachelor days are over, I must find me a wife.
RAYMOND
What about the deer hunt?
PRINCE
Let it run free. Do you know, I sometimes think of that doe eyed deer as me - yes me - me being chased, always on the run. Life is so predictable in the ivory tower.
DANDINI
Why not take a sabbatical, abroad?
PRINCE
Can’t stand the heat of a foreign clime. Poverty makes me retch.
DANDINI
Join the big society.
PRINCE
Look I may be charming but I’m not necessarily sincere. No what I need to do is to fall in love - spontaneously, my heart needs to pound in my chest. I want wild irrational thoughts...I’m going to find her.
DANDINI
If she sees you’re the Prince, you’ll frighten her off. She’ll be overwhelmed sire.
PRINCE
Alright, You be me and I’ll be you
DANDINI
I can’t be you. I don’t sound like a Prince.
PRINCE
I always wondered how you got to be part of the Royal household. It’s easy to sound posh. What do we breathe?
DANDINI
Air.
PRINCE
What do have on your head?
DANDINI
Hair.
PRINCE
Where do bears live? In a...
DANDINI
Lair.
PRINCE
Put all three together and you’re a top toff.
DANDINI
Air..Hair..Lair. Air. Hair. Lair. Air,hair, lair.
PRINCE
Hair lair.
DANDINI
Air, hair lair.
PRINCE
Now you sound like me only less flamboyant. Here wear this.
(The Prince puts his insignia on Dandini’s jacket. The Ugly sisters can be heard offstage. When they enter they appear to be partly covered in animal camouflage over their outdoor pursuits outfit.) LADY G
Cooee. Ra ra ra ra ra. I’m a tiger. Chase me. Chase me.
LADY P
And I’m a poor pussy cat. Meow. Meow. Meow. Look hunters.
PRINCE
This is far too surreal for my taste.
DANDINI
Not the lady you encountered earlier then sire?
PRINCE
The antithesis.
DANDINI
What’s that?
PRINCE
The very opposite.
LADY P
Why aren’t they chasing us?
LADY G
What’s a girl got to do to get attention.
PRINCE
Oh you’ve got our attention.
LADY G
Look you’ve got a big insignia. You must be the Prince.
PRINCE
Yes he is.
DANDINI
Hold up. Air Hair Lair.
LADY P
Very well thank you. And who are you?
PRINCE
I’m the Prince’s cobbler.
LADY P
So I can see.
LADY G
Let’s be grown ups.
LADY P
and play kiss chase.
PRINCE
Good idea.
LADY G
Ready go.
LADY P
Don’t you want to chase us?
DANDINI
Not in the least. We don’t chase, we pursue.
LADY G
Well. Pursue.
LADY P
Pursue.
LADY G
Alright. We give up. You can snog us now.
DANDINI
Run for it.
(There is a chase) EXTRACT 2 THE BALL PRINCE Is there anyone else on the list Dandini? DANDINI I think everyone is here. PRINCE What’s the point of having a ball...if you’re not having one? DANDINI
A what.
PRINCE
A ball. I’m bored.
DANDINI
Ladies and Gentlemen, would you please take your partners for the first dance?
(Brahms Opus 118 no 3 cracks in and there is a comical choreographed dance to protect the Prince from the Ugly Sisters. They are thwarted. As the movement moves into the quiet section Cinderella appears at the top of the steps and all stand enchanted) PRINCE
It’s her. I’m sure.
DANDINI
Who?
PRINCE
The girl in the woods.
DANDINI
That woman has never been in a wood.
LADY G
Hey Sis, doesn’t she look like Cinderella?
LAPY P
No way, jose that girl hasn’t got a blemish.
LADY G
Cow.
BARON HARDUPShe reminds me of my first wife. LADY G
Oh Gawd, he’s gone do lally.
LADY P
Your wife’s on the other side.
BARON HARDUPWhat? Where? LADY G
Oh never mind.
(Cinderella walks down the steps slowly and fearfully as the Brahms segues into Alan Menken’s So Close. They appear to be a bubble as the others watch their encounter.) DANDINI
The Princess Crystal.
PRINCE SONG: SO CLOSE
(Cinderella and the Prince dance the Viennese Waltz as the large mirror ball spins above them and all others in the shadows stop and admire) (They are still close together as others become agitated and begin to chatter and comment about being ignored) CINDERELLA
Why did you not tell me who you were?
PRINCE
I was scared you would run away.
CINDERELLA
I did anyway and I feel like running now.
PRINCE
I will never let you go again. Are you a real Princess?
CINDERELLA
Oh no, I just made it up. He asked who I was. Oh I see...
PRINCE
Would you like to be a princess?
CINDERELLA
I did once dream that I could be but I know in truth I couldn’t. What is the time.
PRINCE
It’s not even past midnight.
CINDERELLA
How close?
PRINCE
So close.
(As the Prince attempts to start an encore we return to the more classical structure of Brahms opus 118 No 3 accompanied by the frenetic swapping of partners. They drift apart as midnight begins to strike. Cinderella runs up the stairs and near the top her shoe appears to get stuck in a hole. She tries to wrench it free but eventually decides to leave it behind.) PRINCE
She has run away again. I still have no idea who she is.
DANDINI
Sire, it seems she left something behind.
PRINCE
It’s a shoe.
DANDINI
It’s a crystal slipper.
LADY G
It’s like an episode of Downton.
LADY P
There’s more action down the road in Angel.
PRINCE
I swear that whosoever this crystal slipper fits shall be my bride. If she agrees of course. I will search this land high and low to ask for her hand in marriage. Follow me, she cannot be far.
