A Manner of Speaking by Bonnie Neugebauer
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A MANNER OF SPEAKING EXCHANGE MAY/JUNE 2014
A Manner of Speaking
www.ChildCareExchange.com Copyright © Exchange Press, Inc. Reprinted with permission from Exchange magazine. All rights reserved. Visit us at www.ChildCareExchange.com or call (800) 221-2864.
by Bonnie Neugebauer
It was a chance encounter. A grandmother pushed a stroller into the elevator with a contented toddler on board and a two year old in tow. Smitten by this smiling eager child as he reached for the buttons as children are wont to do, I smiled at his grandmother for permission and then initiated a typical elevator button conversation. “Thank you for pushing the button.” He smiled. “We are both going up. Do you like to go up?” “Up,” he said. Then with more gusto: “Up, up.” “I like to go down, too. Do you like to go down?” “Up.” Okay, so it wasn’t the most stimulating conversation on my part, but it was fun. Later, we met again in the elevator and. yet again. in the restaurant by the pool. “It looks like you were playing in the water. You have your swimming suit on. Did you have a good time?” He smiled. “Did you swim?” And suddenly he started to talk to me, lots of words coming quickly; and I struggled to understand, bluffing to keep the conversation going, hoping I would eventually ‘get it.’ “Oh, you can’t understand him, he’s just babbling,” said his grandmother. Undaunted, he and I continued and eventually his meanings did become clear, or at least clearer. He wasn’t babbling at all. In fact, he had a lot to say about the water and swimming and then about Mickey Mouse. He’d been to Disney World and had had a very good time by the look on his face and the words understood. As Pam Boulton says, “Children have a lot to say to us.” And they do their best to share their ideas. It’s unbelievable, really, how many times grandson Jonah had to tell us things before we understood. He did get frustrated, but he was so intent on communicating that he gave us many chances. Do children ever really babble? Isn’t there always meaning in their messages? They use their bodies as well as their words, maybe because they understand that we need all the help we can get! As we come to more deeply understand how important it is to hear what children have to say, our challenge is to make sure that we listen with all of our senses, that we continually refine our listening skills, and that we check and recheck our assumptions and our perceived understandings. Children have much to say to us. They are doing everything they can to communicate. The responsibility is on us to deeply listen — and then to use their ideas to become our better selves. They will indeed change us.
A MANNER OF SPEAKING EXCHANGE MAY/JUNE 2014
A Manner of Speaking
www.ChildCareExchange.com Copyright © Exchange Press, Inc. Reprinted with permission from Exchange magazine. All rights reserved. Visit us at www.ChildCareExchange.com or call (800) 221-2864.
by Bonnie Neugebauer
It was a chance encounter. A grandmother pushed a stroller into the elevator with a contented toddler on board and a two year old in tow. Smitten by this smiling eager child as he reached for the buttons as children are wont to do, I smiled at his grandmother for permission and then initiated a typical elevator button conversation. “Thank you for pushing the button.” He smiled. “We are both going up. Do you like to go up?” “Up,” he said. Then with more gusto: “Up, up.” “I like to go down, too. Do you like to go down?” “Up.” Okay, so it wasn’t the most stimulating conversation on my part, but it was fun. Later, we met again in the elevator and. yet again. in the restaurant by the pool. “It looks like you were playing in the water. You have your swimming suit on. Did you have a good time?” He smiled. “Did you swim?” And suddenly he started to talk to me, lots of words coming quickly; and I struggled to understand, bluffing to keep the conversation going, hoping I would eventually ‘get it.’ “Oh, you can’t understand him, he’s just babbling,” said his grandmother. Undaunted, he and I continued and eventually his meanings did become clear, or at least clearer. He wasn’t babbling at all. In fact, he had a lot to say about the water and swimming and then about Mickey Mouse. He’d been to Disney World and had had a very good time by the look on his face and the words understood. As Pam Boulton says, “Children have a lot to say to us.” And they do their best to share their ideas. It’s unbelievable, really, how many times grandson Jonah had to tell us things before we understood. He did get frustrated, but he was so intent on communicating that he gave us many chances. Do children ever really babble? Isn’t there always meaning in their messages? They use their bodies as well as their words, maybe because they understand that we need all the help we can get! As we come to more deeply understand how important it is to hear what children have to say, our challenge is to make sure that we listen with all of our senses, that we continually refine our listening skills, and that we check and recheck our assumptions and our perceived understandings. Children have much to say to us. They are doing everything they can to communicate. The responsibility is on us to deeply listen — and then to use their ideas to become our better selves. They will indeed change us.
