Alex White
SILENT N
10 | THE LION’S TALE | FEATURES | DECEMBER 4, 2015
Students reveal their past experie WRITTEN BY ALEX WHITE
Sitting in a white-walled bedroom, filled with only a bed and a ticking analog clock, junior Sophie Anderson* dreams of the day her mother returns her belongings, so she can feel like a normal kid again. Since elementary school, Anderson and her four younger siblings have suffered through verbal abuse from their mother. During her freshman year of high school, her mother stripped them of their belongings, claiming they didn’t deserve them. “All she left us with was a bed and a clock,” Anderson said. “It was super dehumanizing to feel like we weren’t worthy of our possessions. I felt like a slave. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I was isolated and the only interaction I had was my mom telling me I was an awful person that didn’t deserve nice things. She gave our stuff back after a whole month.” Anderson was strongly affected by her mother’s words, and remains affected today. “All the things she told me I would believe and tell to myself,” Anderson said. “It took me a long time to realize that I’m not the person she says I am. She can be nice sometimes but that makes it all the more frustrating. It lets me see that she could be a real mom if she wanted to, but she just doesn’t, she wants to be mean.” To be liberated from her mother’s presence, Anderson attempted to change her custody situation. After several court hearings, Anderson was unsuccessful. She remains living with her mother today. Anderson reflects on her relationship with her mother. “She’s my mom and I’m going to love her, but I just need space. I can forgive her, I just won’t forget what she’s done to me,” Anderson said. “I want to be empowered by this situation and I want to help other people. I don’t want my story to be a sob story for others; I want it to be fuel for the fire. I want to be the person to help stop emotional abuse.” Senior Katie O’Sullivan* also experienced abuse from her parent. “I suffered through a lot of physical abuse from my dad when I was younger,” O’Sullivan said. “It was really bad in elementary school but
PHYSICAL ABUSE
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Physical abuse is defined as the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain, or impairment.
Emotional abuse is defined as the infliction of anguish, pain, or distress through verbal acts.
ILLUSTRATION BY DECLAN MCCOY
SEXUAL ABUSE Sexual abuse is defined as non-consensual sexual contact of any kind.
got better in middle school. My freshman year of high school it got bad again because he started a new business and that caused a lot of stress. He abused my siblings, mother, and I to release his stress.” O’Sullivan reflects on her personality now after being subjected to physical abuse. “It’s definitely made me more vulnerable. Its something I can’t control so it brings a lot of weakness in me as well as depression,” O’Sullivan said. “But at the end of the day, it has made me stronger because I’ve learned to stand up for myself. I am a much stronger individual and I now realize what he does to me isn’t right and what he says to me isn’t true.” The moment that remains freshest in O’Sullivan’s mind is also the most traumatizing to her. “Freshman year I was trying on Homecoming dresses when my mom and I got into an argument over something stupid,” O’Sullivan said. “My dad works at home so when he hears us fighting it sets him off. He came out of his office and got very physical. He pushed me to the ground, dragged me into I want to be th my room, and continued abusing me from there.” stop emotional a O’Sullivan feels as if Junior Sophie Ande she must hide her abusive relationship with her father from those around her. “I try to hide it as much as possible,” O’Sullivan said. “No one, not even my close friends know. It’s hard to hide though, and I’m the type of person that I don’t like when people know what’s going on or bothering me. When I go to school or see my friends, I have to put on a fake smile, when in reality, nothing is okay.” “But I want to be vulnerable, and I want to talk about it,” O’Sullivan said. “I want to cry about it to my friends, but I can’t say anything because that would put my dad and entire family at risk.” Junior Haley Scott has dealt with an abusive romantic relationship rather than a parental one. “I started dating this girl and she seemed energetic and really nice, but then it got to be too much,” Scott said. “She started Face-Timing me at all hours of the day and got mad when I wouldn’t pick up. She would tell me I was a bad girlfriend and she could do better.” “When I would pick up, she would have panic attacks and she was always angry at me or something else,” Scott said. “At one point in the relationship, she
WHAT IS DO
do·mes·tic vi·o·len
noun - Violent or aggress typically involving the vio
If you are being domestically abu contact the Florida Domestic Vio Hotline number to get help
NO MORE
DECEMBER 4, 2015 | THE LION’S TALE | FEATURES | 11
ences with abusive relationships
turned on me and I felt like I was in a position to alleviate some of her pain or stress, which just ended up stressing me out.” Like Anderson, Scott can’t bring herself to hate her abuser. “Despite all she did to me, I still don’t hate her, I probably should, but I don’t,” Scott said. Scott feels that her relationship altered her forever. She now analyzes her self-esteem. “Subjecting myself to this terrible relationship makes me wonder about who I am,” Scott said. “If I’m letting someone hurt me this much and affect me this much, I must not think much about myself. It makes me think I’m not strong enough to leave or recognize that I’m in a toxic situation.” Abuse can be short-lived, but can still leave a large impact. As a victim of sexual abuse from one of her close friends, sophomore Jamie Rivera* still thinks back regularly to the night of the attack. “I was at my friend’s house and everyone was he person to help just casually hanging out. abuse Later on towards midnight we all started to settle erson down and get ready for bed. I was sitting on a bed with the boy who raped me, watching TV, and I didn’t think in a million years that he would do anything to me,” Rivera said. “I laid down next to him because I trusted him. Shortly after, he kept trying to kiss me and I kept telling him I didn’t want it so he pushed me into the bed and got on top of me, telling me that I would enjoy it. He pulled my shirt over my head and I kept trying to push him off of me.” Rivera tried to escape. “But in that situation, you can’t fight it off and you can’t push them off, no matter how much strength you have,” Rivera said. “When he got on top of me, I froze. He put all of his force on me and my body felt numb, there was nothing I could do to get free from him.” It wasn’t until a month after the incident that Rivera felt comfortable enough to tell anyone about it, but it caused more distress. “I lost every one of my friends over it,” Rivera said. “Even my own father told me it was my fault that I got raped. People think I made the incident up for
attention, but I couldn’t make up something so horrible.” Her friends’ reactions scarred her almost as much as the incident itself did. “So many people will tell you it’s your fault that you start to believe it,” Rivera said. “You can only fight people’s words for so long before it becomes embedded in you. When something like this happens to you, people just don’t look at you the same. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone in this world.” Also a victim of emotional abuse from her boyfriend, senior Amanda Rooker* feels abusive relationships need to be brought more into the light. “Abusive relationships are something that aren’t talked about enough,” Rooker said. “It’s not always physically, it can be verbal as well. Being in an abusive relationship effected me in ways that aren’t as obvious as one would think.” After the break-up, Rooker found ways to cope with the pain of her previous abusive relationship. “I felt like I had to find someone to fill the void of not having a boyfriend anymore,” Rooker said. “I felt so low that I needed to be with all these people to make me feel accepted and wanted. But doing this just made me feel worse because I know that these people didn’t care about me and definitely didn’t respect me.” From being with her past boyfriend, Rooker finds the relationship altered her immensely, causing the effects to be long-term. “After being in an abusive relationship, building up the trust and confidence to be comfortable with someone takes a long time,” Rooker said. “I felt terrible about myself after it ended. It’s not something you can just get over. I still have a while to go before I move on. You don’t ever forget but you can move on from what happened eventually.” *Names withheld upon request
OMESTIC ABUSE?
nce
sive behavior within the home, olent abuse of a spouse or partner.
used, please olence
1-800-500-1119
25% OF ALL MEN ARE DOMESTICALLY
ABUSED
33% OF ALL WOMEN ARE DOMESTICALLY
ABUSED
INFOCOURTESYOFNCADV.ORG
10 | THE LION’S TALE | FEATURES | DECEMBER 4, 2015
Students reveal their past experie WRITTEN BY ALEX WHITE
Sitting in a white-walled bedroom, filled with only a bed and a ticking analog clock, junior Sophie Anderson* dreams of the day her mother returns her belongings, so she can feel like a normal kid again. Since elementary school, Anderson and her four younger siblings have suffered through verbal abuse from their mother. During her freshman year of high school, her mother stripped them of their belongings, claiming they didn’t deserve them. “All she left us with was a bed and a clock,” Anderson said. “It was super dehumanizing to feel like we weren’t worthy of our possessions. I felt like a slave. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I was isolated and the only interaction I had was my mom telling me I was an awful person that didn’t deserve nice things. She gave our stuff back after a whole month.” Anderson was strongly affected by her mother’s words, and remains affected today. “All the things she told me I would believe and tell to myself,” Anderson said. “It took me a long time to realize that I’m not the person she says I am. She can be nice sometimes but that makes it all the more frustrating. It lets me see that she could be a real mom if she wanted to, but she just doesn’t, she wants to be mean.” To be liberated from her mother’s presence, Anderson attempted to change her custody situation. After several court hearings, Anderson was unsuccessful. She remains living with her mother today. Anderson reflects on her relationship with her mother. “She’s my mom and I’m going to love her, but I just need space. I can forgive her, I just won’t forget what she’s done to me,” Anderson said. “I want to be empowered by this situation and I want to help other people. I don’t want my story to be a sob story for others; I want it to be fuel for the fire. I want to be the person to help stop emotional abuse.” Senior Katie O’Sullivan* also experienced abuse from her parent. “I suffered through a lot of physical abuse from my dad when I was younger,” O’Sullivan said. “It was really bad in elementary school but
PHYSICAL ABUSE
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Physical abuse is defined as the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain, or impairment.
Emotional abuse is defined as the infliction of anguish, pain, or distress through verbal acts.
ILLUSTRATION BY DECLAN MCCOY
SEXUAL ABUSE Sexual abuse is defined as non-consensual sexual contact of any kind.
got better in middle school. My freshman year of high school it got bad again because he started a new business and that caused a lot of stress. He abused my siblings, mother, and I to release his stress.” O’Sullivan reflects on her personality now after being subjected to physical abuse. “It’s definitely made me more vulnerable. Its something I can’t control so it brings a lot of weakness in me as well as depression,” O’Sullivan said. “But at the end of the day, it has made me stronger because I’ve learned to stand up for myself. I am a much stronger individual and I now realize what he does to me isn’t right and what he says to me isn’t true.” The moment that remains freshest in O’Sullivan’s mind is also the most traumatizing to her. “Freshman year I was trying on Homecoming dresses when my mom and I got into an argument over something stupid,” O’Sullivan said. “My dad works at home so when he hears us fighting it sets him off. He came out of his office and got very physical. He pushed me to the ground, dragged me into I want to be th my room, and continued abusing me from there.” stop emotional a O’Sullivan feels as if Junior Sophie Ande she must hide her abusive relationship with her father from those around her. “I try to hide it as much as possible,” O’Sullivan said. “No one, not even my close friends know. It’s hard to hide though, and I’m the type of person that I don’t like when people know what’s going on or bothering me. When I go to school or see my friends, I have to put on a fake smile, when in reality, nothing is okay.” “But I want to be vulnerable, and I want to talk about it,” O’Sullivan said. “I want to cry about it to my friends, but I can’t say anything because that would put my dad and entire family at risk.” Junior Haley Scott has dealt with an abusive romantic relationship rather than a parental one. “I started dating this girl and she seemed energetic and really nice, but then it got to be too much,” Scott said. “She started Face-Timing me at all hours of the day and got mad when I wouldn’t pick up. She would tell me I was a bad girlfriend and she could do better.” “When I would pick up, she would have panic attacks and she was always angry at me or something else,” Scott said. “At one point in the relationship, she
WHAT IS DO
do·mes·tic vi·o·len
noun - Violent or aggress typically involving the vio
If you are being domestically abu contact the Florida Domestic Vio Hotline number to get help
NO MORE
DECEMBER 4, 2015 | THE LION’S TALE | FEATURES | 11
ences with abusive relationships
turned on me and I felt like I was in a position to alleviate some of her pain or stress, which just ended up stressing me out.” Like Anderson, Scott can’t bring herself to hate her abuser. “Despite all she did to me, I still don’t hate her, I probably should, but I don’t,” Scott said. Scott feels that her relationship altered her forever. She now analyzes her self-esteem. “Subjecting myself to this terrible relationship makes me wonder about who I am,” Scott said. “If I’m letting someone hurt me this much and affect me this much, I must not think much about myself. It makes me think I’m not strong enough to leave or recognize that I’m in a toxic situation.” Abuse can be short-lived, but can still leave a large impact. As a victim of sexual abuse from one of her close friends, sophomore Jamie Rivera* still thinks back regularly to the night of the attack. “I was at my friend’s house and everyone was he person to help just casually hanging out. abuse Later on towards midnight we all started to settle erson down and get ready for bed. I was sitting on a bed with the boy who raped me, watching TV, and I didn’t think in a million years that he would do anything to me,” Rivera said. “I laid down next to him because I trusted him. Shortly after, he kept trying to kiss me and I kept telling him I didn’t want it so he pushed me into the bed and got on top of me, telling me that I would enjoy it. He pulled my shirt over my head and I kept trying to push him off of me.” Rivera tried to escape. “But in that situation, you can’t fight it off and you can’t push them off, no matter how much strength you have,” Rivera said. “When he got on top of me, I froze. He put all of his force on me and my body felt numb, there was nothing I could do to get free from him.” It wasn’t until a month after the incident that Rivera felt comfortable enough to tell anyone about it, but it caused more distress. “I lost every one of my friends over it,” Rivera said. “Even my own father told me it was my fault that I got raped. People think I made the incident up for
attention, but I couldn’t make up something so horrible.” Her friends’ reactions scarred her almost as much as the incident itself did. “So many people will tell you it’s your fault that you start to believe it,” Rivera said. “You can only fight people’s words for so long before it becomes embedded in you. When something like this happens to you, people just don’t look at you the same. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone in this world.” Also a victim of emotional abuse from her boyfriend, senior Amanda Rooker* feels abusive relationships need to be brought more into the light. “Abusive relationships are something that aren’t talked about enough,” Rooker said. “It’s not always physically, it can be verbal as well. Being in an abusive relationship effected me in ways that aren’t as obvious as one would think.” After the break-up, Rooker found ways to cope with the pain of her previous abusive relationship. “I felt like I had to find someone to fill the void of not having a boyfriend anymore,” Rooker said. “I felt so low that I needed to be with all these people to make me feel accepted and wanted. But doing this just made me feel worse because I know that these people didn’t care about me and definitely didn’t respect me.” From being with her past boyfriend, Rooker finds the relationship altered her immensely, causing the effects to be long-term. “After being in an abusive relationship, building up the trust and confidence to be comfortable with someone takes a long time,” Rooker said. “I felt terrible about myself after it ended. It’s not something you can just get over. I still have a while to go before I move on. You don’t ever forget but you can move on from what happened eventually.” *Names withheld upon request
OMESTIC ABUSE?
nce
sive behavior within the home, olent abuse of a spouse or partner.
used, please olence
1-800-500-1119
25% OF ALL MEN ARE DOMESTICALLY
ABUSED
33% OF ALL WOMEN ARE DOMESTICALLY
ABUSED
INFOCOURTESYOFNCADV.ORG
