December 5 Bulletin
בס”ד
AT MAARIV ON MOTZEI SHABBAT, DEC. 5, BEGIN TO INCLUDE ""ותן טל ומטר IN SHEMONEI ESREI. LAWS ON PAGE 2.
נא לא לדבר בשעת התפילה PLEASE NO CONVERSATION DURING SERVICES WEEKDAY DAVENING INFORMATION
שבת פרשת וישב SHABBAT PARSHAT VAYEISHEV 23 KISLEV/DECEMBER 5 Haftorah is Amos 2:6-3:8. We bless the month of Tevet. We do not say אב הרחמיםor ל מלא-א. We say צדקתך צדקat Mincha.. FRIDAY NIGHT CANDLE LIGHTING - 4:11 PM MINCHA - 4:15 PM TZAIT - 5:14 PM
Sunday (12/6)
Monday (12/7)
Tuesday (12/8)
Wednesday Thursday (12/9) (12/10)
Earliest Talit
6:07 AM
6:08 AM
6:09 AM
6:10 AM
6:10 AM
6:11 AM
Shacharit
8:15 AM
6:10 AM
6:20 AM
6:20 AM
6:10 AM
6:20 AM
Gedolah
12:10 PM
12:10 PM 12:10 PM
12:11 PM
12:11 PM 12:11 PM
Mincha (Sun./ Fri) - Maariv
4:10 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
Shkia
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
Tzait
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
—————
Mazel Tov to Shirley & Avi Vann on the engagement of their son, Yitz, to Sora Rivka Tannenbaum of Bloomingburg, New York. May they be zoche to build a bayit neeman b’yisroel!
BULLETIN INFORMATION TO REQUEST A BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT (BY 7:00 PM WEDNESDAY) OR DEDICATE A BULLETIN FOR $36 ($54 W/PHOTO), EMAIL [email protected].
Mazel tov to Rabbi & Julie Goldstein for being this year’s journal dinner honorees! Details to come!
CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM 18-25 SADDLE RIVER ROAD FAIR LAWN, NJ 07410-5909 201-797-0502 WWW.AHAVATACHIM.ORG
Molad for Tevet is Friday, Dec.11, 7:19 AM & 12 Chalokim.
Refuah shaleyma to Margo Greensrein who is recovering.
Rabbi Uri Goldstein
4:20 PM
Chanukah Friday night dinner is Shabbat, December 11, after Maariv. $20 per adults and children 12 years and over, $10 for children 6 to 11 years old, and under 6 are free. RSVP by Sunday, December 6 to Randi ([email protected] or 201-777-0731).
SATURDAY CHUMASH SHIUR - 8:00 AM SHACHARIT YOUTH - 8:20 AM SHACHARIT MAIN - 8:45 AM LAST KRIAT SHEMA - 9:26 AM GEMARA SHIUR - 3:00 PM MINCHA - 4:00 PM SHKIA - 4:29 PM MAARIV/HAVDALAH - 5:14 PM
Friday (12/11)
"1
President Stephen Agress
Kiddush Information Kiddush cleanup for the month of December is Kwestel, Lang, Latkin, Levine, Lewis, Lewissohn, Oppenheim, Oster, Plotnick, Racenstein, Rein & Riskin Kiddush setup for this Shabbat is Baron, Stock, Zarabi Kiddush setup for next Shabbat is Schwed, Solomon, Winchester
Adult Education GEMARAH SHIUR - Rabbi's Shabbat afternoon gemarah shiur takes place one hour before Mincha. Tuesdays, after Maariv (approx. 8:15 PM), Adult Ed. lecture series: The Great Torah Commentaries Their Lives and Learning, Part IRashi.
Numbers & Info ERUV UPDATE – 201-797-0502 MIKVAH – 201-796-0350. At Shomrei Torah, weekdays 9:00 PM– 10:30 PM, Motzei Shabbat from 11/4 hours after Shabbat ends for 1.5 hours. Kaylim Mikvah: Sunday 10 AM-3 PM TWITTER: @AhavatAchimFL FACEBOOK: facebook.com/ groups/ahavat.achim/
Mah Jong This Shabbat at 3:00 PM at the home of Dina Greene, 40-19 Marie Court.
Gita Cooperwasserע”ה Youth Program This week’s leaders are: Group Aleph Hannah & Uri, and Group Bet - Serena & Mikey
ותן טל ומטר: At Maariv on Motzei Shabbat, December 5, we begin to include "ותן טל "ומטרinto the Shemonei Esrei. If one became aware, after he had completed the Bracha מברך השנים, that he had omitted " "ותן טל ומטרhe should insert it right before " "כי אתה שומעof שמע קולנו. If he had already completed the Bracha שומע תפלה, he may insert it before saying ""רצה. If he had already begun " "רצהhe must return to the Bracha ""ברך עלינו, which is the proper place for ""ותן טל ומטר. If he had already completed the Shemonah Esrei, then he must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei. In any situation in which a person must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei, he may fulfill his obligation by listening to every word of the Chazzan's Repetition from beginning to end, with the intention of thus fulfilling his obligation. It is advisable to repeat 101 times [at the very least 90 times]: "ואת כל מיני תבואתה לטובה ותן "טל ומטר לברכהso as to make the inclusion of " "ותן טל ומטרhabitual and fluent, thus eliminating any future doubt as to whether one included " "ותן טל ומטרin the Shemonah Esrei or not.
Upcoming Events Dec. 11 - Shabbat Chanukah Dinner/ Oneg Shabbat Dec. 19 - Kiddush sponsored by Amy & Stephen Agress in honor of Max's Auf Ruf and upcoming wedding to Hilana Smith Dec. 26 - Siyum Mesechet Sotah at Suedah Shlishit Dec. 26 - Family Bowling Party, 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM at Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes. RSVP to Lori ([email protected]). Dec. 28 - Sisterhood planning meeting at Lori’s home Jan. 2 - Seudah Shlishit is sponsored by the Wigod and Sokoloff families in memory of Ron’s and Cheryl’s ע”הparents Leonore (Leah bat Zev )ע”הand Benjamin (Boruch Chaim ben Zevulun Aryeh) Sokoloffע”ה. Jan. 2 - Sisterhood Book Club, 3:00 PM, at Betsy Sonnenblick's home, discussing The Orchid House, by Lucinda Riley. Jan. 6 - Sisterhood Paid Up Membership Meeting and Challah Braiding and Making Extravaganza! Feb. 13 - Ben Wechsler Bar Mitzvah Feb. 20 - Yachad Shabbaton Mar. 5 - Pre-Purim Wine and Cheese Tasting. April 15 - Pre-Pesach Shabbat Dinner
The Rabbi search committee has commenced its search for a new Moreh Deasra, and if anyone has suggestions please contact a committee member listed below: Aryeh Brenenson (Co-Chair) David Garfunkel (Co-Chair) Stephen Agress Jaimie Eisman Howie Komet Debbie Lang Joanne Oppenheim Arielle Schachter Marty Sonnenblick Arnie Spier Steve Wechsler
Shirley Vann has dedicated this week’s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchokע”ה. "2
IN TEVET WE REMEMBER , , , HEBREW DATE
CANDLE EVENING OF
Sylvia Eis
4
Blima Jablon
NAME
DEDICATOR
RELATIONSHIP
December 15
Jacob Eis
Mother
8
December 19
The Schwitzer Family
Grandmother
Samuel Eis
12
December 23
Jacob Eis
Father
Benjamin H. Sokoloff
12
December 23
Ron Sokoloff
Father
Andrew Leeb
13
December 24
Alice Banner & Janie Kirschenbaum
Daughters
Lester Plotnick
13
December 24
Steven Plotnick
Father
Ida Freilich
15
December 26
Eita Latkin
Mother
Udel Chedva Schaeffer
16
December 27
Mimi Weinraub
Mother
Sarah Brody
19
December 30
Ron Sokoloff
Grandmother
Leonore Sokoloff
22
January 2
Ron Sokoloff
Mother
Abraham Rotberg
25
January 5
Ellen Chass
Father
SUPPORT YOUR SHUL Donate a Sefer, etc. The shul has Siddurim & Machzorim ($36) and Chumashim ($54) available to be donated. Please contact Jeff Safier at [email protected] for details.
Yahrzeit Plaques Memorialize a loved one and receive written notice of your upcoming yahrzeit every year. In addition, your loved one’s name will be mentioned during the public Yizkor we recite on Yom Kippur and in the Bulletin. Plaques are $300 for members and $350 for non-members. For more information, contact Sophie Infield at 791-5518.
Mishebayrach
Sisterhood & Men’s Club
If you’ve made a Mishebayrach you’ve pledged to give Tzedakah on behalf of those for whom you asked Hashem's blessing. Contributions to the shul are appropriate and can be made via Paypal to [email protected], or via MasterCard, Visa or Discover by sending the information to Elliot Greene (contact him at [email protected]). If paying by check please indicate on its face “Aliyah Donation.” Thank you for your generosity.
Please contact Eli Greenbaum at [email protected] to join the Men’s Club. To join Sisterhood, please contact Lori Garfunkel at [email protected].
Scrip is available from Men’s email by emailing David at [email protected]. Pay using Paypal ([email protected]) or use Discover, MasterCard or Visa - email [email protected] for details.
Contributions to acquire honoraria in memory or honor of a loved one are welcome. The available Honoraria list will be provided upon request by contacting Steven Plotnick at [email protected].
David Schwitzer ע”הSocial Hall Please contact Jonathan Schachter at [email protected] to book the Schwitzerע”ה
Scrip
Honoraria
David Social Hall for an event or special occasion. $250 per simcha (members) / $500 paid in advance for nonmembers, plus the cost of any additional clean up (plus a $150 security deposit refunded when the social hall is returned in the condition it started in). Private caterers must be approved in advance by the Rabbi. "3
Mitzvah Cards Want mitzvah cards, contact Eita Latkin at 791-8940 or [email protected]. Cost is $3 per card. Also can be ordered in bulk ten cards for $25, which you send out yourself privately.
SUPPORT YOUR SHUL
ההנוכה
MISCELLANEOUS
CHANUKAH Sunday night, Dec. 6, after sunset (according to some, after the appearance of three stars) we light the Chanukah lights and make the following three Brachot: שעשה נסים,להדליק נר של חנוכה, and שהחיינו. After lighting we recite " "הנרות הללוetc. We also light the Chanukah Menorah, with all of its Brachot, in the southern side of the Shul (where the Menorah was lit in the Holy Temple) so as to make a public declaration of the miracle. " "שהחיינוis recited only on the first night. The first candle that is lit is at the extreme right of the Menorah. The established customs are to light inside the house, by a window that is in view of the street, or at the very least, that is in view of an alley or courtyard where people walk, and on each day to add an additional candle that is lit first that night (placing candles right to left, but lighting left to right). By the eighth day we light eight candles. The basic decree is for the head of the household to light, with everyone observing the candles being lit and hearing the Brachot, and if there are visitors they must at least contribute oil (or candles) or pay a few cents so that they become partners in the Mitzvah. The custom now is for even visitors to light their own Menorah, at the proper time, with their own Bracha, even if a member of the family is lighting the Menorah for his household. The individual family members may, if they so wish, light their own Menorahs and make their own Brachot. One may not derive practical benefit from the Chanukah lights, so we light an additional “Shammash” candle so if one needs light he can it. It is best to light at upon the initial appearance of the stars (obviously except for Saturday night). Under extenuating circumstances, one may light even after midnight if members of the family are awake to see the lights. There must be enough oil/wax to last one half hour past the time when the stars appear. If one is lighting after the appearance of the stars there must still be enough oil to burn for half an hour. If the Chanukah lights are accidentally extinguished prior to their having burned the requisite time, one is not obligated by Halacha to rekindle them; it is, however, advisable that one rekindle them without a Bracha. There is a custom to give children Chanukah Gelt as part of the process of publicizing the miracle. During Shemonah Esrei and Bircat HaMazon we add ועל הנסים. At Shacharit we recite the complete Hallel followed by a half-Kaddish (with the exception of Shabbat and Rosh Chodesh when the Hallel is followed by a Kaddish Tiskabel). If one omitted ועל הנסיםhe does not repeat the Shemonah Esrei or Birkat Hamazon. ו' דחנוכה SIXTH DAY OF CHANUKAH FRIDAY AFTERNOON, DECEMBER 11/KISLEV 29 We light the Chanukah Menorah at home before lighting the Shabbat candles. Some strive to recite Mincha before lighting the Chanukah lights. However, one must be careful not to delay the welcoming of Shabbat because of this. One may not light Chanukah or Shabbat candles earlier than Plag HaMincha (3:31 PM). One must be careful to use enough oil (or light a large enough candle) that will remain lit until thirty minutes after the appearance of three stars.
Rabbi Goldstein’s Hours Rabbi Goldstein is available to the membership by contacting him at [email protected] or by phone at 201-703-2458. For those who wish to contact him during office hours, he is available to be at the shul Wednesday evenings after Ma’ariv until approximately 10:00 pm. Please note that the Rabbi's e-mails are forwarded to his home PC and to his mobile phone. Become a Member of Ahavat Achim If you are not yet a member; please contact Aryeh Brenenson [email protected] for details on membership. Bikkur Cholim/Chesed If anyone could use a visit/assistance from the Bikkur Cholim/Chesed Committee, contact the Rabbi at [email protected] or Sara Levine at [email protected] or (201)797-9286. Contact Sara to join the committee and offer assistance in the manner that’s most conducive to your schedule. You may find yourself in a position to spend time visiting a homebound shul member, give them a call and see if they require any special assistance or might even decide to cook or purchase a special meal for them. No offer will be refused and all are appreciated. Personal Announcements Various life cycle events related to members are announced in the shul’s weekly bulletin (e.g., births, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings and deaths), and the bulletin acknowledges travel to/from Israel for study. We also welcome new members and those who’ve moved into the community and express interest in our shul. Other personal announcements generally are not appropriate for inclusion in the bulletin, except as part of the bulletin’s dedication (a $36 cost - $54 with photo). Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Shirley Vann has dedicated this week’s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchokע”ה. "4
The Sisterhood of Ahavat Achim Presents
Family Bowling Night
Saturday, December 26, 7:30 – 9:30 At Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes Grown Ups and Kids of all ages are welcome $16 per person includes: 2 hours of Bowling and Shoe Rental Benji’s Pizza will be available upon request We need to reserve the lanes, so please RSVP (asap) to Lori at [email protected] or 201-791-1205
IT’S CHANUKAH…WHY COOK?!? COME JOIN US FOR A SPECIAL CHANUKAH FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER FOLLOWED BY AN ONEG SHABBAT
WHEN: FRIDAY DECEMBER 11, 2015 WHERE: OUR WONDERFUL SHUL - AHAVAT ACHIM DINNER TIME: AFTER KABBALAT SHABBAT COST:
$20 PER ADULTS AND CHILDREN 12 AND OVER $10 FOR KIDS 6-11 CHILDREN UNDER 6 ARE FREE
DESSERT AND THE ONEG SHABBAT WILL FOLLOW DINNER AT 7:15 AND ARE OPEN TO ALL RSVP’s for DINNER MUST BE RECEIVED by SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th.
Email [email protected] or call 201-777-0731
How to Change the World Vayeshev - 5 December 2015 / 23 Kislev 5776 In his Laws of Repentance, Moses Maimonides makes one of the most empowering statements in religious literature. Having explained that we and the world are judged by the majority of our deeds, he continues: “Therefore we should see ourselves throughout the year as if our deeds and those of the world are evenly poised between good and bad, so that our next act may change both the balance of our lives and that of the world.”1 We can make a difference, and it is potentially immense. That should be our mindset, always. Few statements are more at odds with the way the world seems to us most of the time. Each of us knows that there is only one of us, and that there are seven billion others in the world today. What conceivable difference can we make? We are no more than a wave in the ocean, a grain of sand on the seashore, dust on the surface of infinity. Is it conceivable that with one act we could change the trajectory of our life, let alone that of humanity as a whole? Our parsha tells us that, yes, it is. As the story of Jacob’s children unfolds, there is a rapid rise of tension between his children that threatens to spill over into violence. Joseph, eleventh of the twelve, is Jacob’s favourite son. He was, says the Torah, the child of Jacob’s old age. More significantly, he was the first child of Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel. Jacob “loved him more” than his other sons, and they knew it and resented it. They were jealous of their father’s love. They were provoked by Joseph’s dreams of greatness. The sight of the many-coloured robe Jacob had given him as a token of his love provoked them to anger. 1
Hilkhot Teshuvah 3:4.
How to Change the World
1
Vayeshev 5776
Then came the moment of opportunity. The brothers were away far from home tending the flocks when Joseph appeared in the distance, sent by Jacob to see how they were doing. Their envy and anger reached boiling point, and they resolved to take violent revenge. “ ‘Here comes that dreamer!’ they said to each other. ‘Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a wild animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.’” Only one of the brothers disagreed: Reuben. He knew that what they were proposing was very wrong, and he protested. At this point the Torah does something extraordinary. It makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, “At this point the Torah does reading the story, know this. The text says, “And Reuben something extraordinary. It heard and saved him [Joseph] from them.”
makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, reading the story, know this.”
We know this cannot be true because of what happens next. Reuben, realising that he is only one against many, devises a stratagem. He says, Let us not kill him. Let us throw him alive into one of the cisterns and let him die. That way, we will not be directly guilty of murder. His intention was to come back to the cistern later, when the others were elsewhere, and rescue Joseph. When the Torah says, “And Reuben heard and saved him from them” it is using the principle that “God accounts a good intention as a deed.”2 Reuben wanted to save Joseph and intended to do so, but in fact he failed. The moment passed, and by the time he acted, it was already too late. Returning to the cistern, he found Joseph already gone, sold as a slave. On this, a midrash says: “If only Reuben had known that the Holy One blessed be He, would write about him, ‘And Reuben heard and saved him from them,’ he would have lifted Joseph bodily onto his shoulders and taken him back to his father.”3 What does this mean? Consider what would have happened had Reuben actually acted at that moment. Joseph would not have been sold as a slave. He would not have been taken to Egypt. He would not have worked in Potiphar’s house. He would not have attracted Potiphar’s wife. He would not have been thrown into prison on a false charge. He would not have interpreted the dreams of the butler and baker, nor would he have done the same two years later for Pharaoh. He would not have been made viceroy of Egypt. He would not have brought his family to stay there.
To be sure, God had already told Abraham many years earlier, “Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and 2
Tosefta, Peah 1:4.
3
Tanhuma, Vayeshev, 13.
How to Change the World
2
Vayeshev 5776
that they will be enslaved and mistreated there” (Gen. 15:13). The Israelites would have become slaves, come what may. But at least they would not have had this happen as a result of their own family dysfunctions. An entire chapter of Jewish guilt and shame might have been avoided.
“We never can read the book that tells of the longterm consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others.”
If only Reuben had known what we know. If only he had been able to read the book. But we never can read the book that tells of the long-term consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others. There is a story I find very moving, about how in 1966 an eleven-year-old AfricanAmerican boy moved with his family to a hitherto white neighbourhood in Washington.4 Sitting with his brothers and sisters on the front step of the house, he waited to see how they would be greeted. They were not. Passers-by turned to look at them but no one gave them a smile or even a glance of recognition. All the fearful stories he had heard about how whites treated blacks seemed to be coming true. Years later, writing about those first days in their new home, he says, “I knew we were not welcome here. I knew we would not be liked here. I knew we would have no friends here. I knew we should not have moved here…” As he was thinking those thoughts, a woman passed by on the other side of the road. She turned to the children and with a broad smile said, “Welcome!” Disappearing into the house, she emerged minutes later with a tray laden with drinks and cream-cheese and jelly sandwiches which she brought over to the children, making them feel at home. That moment – the young man later wrote – changed his life. It gave him a sense of belonging where there was none before. It made him realise, at a time when race relations in the United States were still fraught, that a black family could feel at home in a white area and that there could be relationships that were colour-blind. Over the years, he learned to admire much about the woman across the street, but it was that first spontaneous act of greeting that became, for him, a definitive memory. It broke down a wall of separation and turned strangers into friends. The young man, Stephen Carter, eventually became a law professor at Yale and wrote a book about what he learned that day. He called it Civility. The name of the woman, he tells us, was Sara Kestenbaum, and she died all too young. He adds that it was no coincidence that she was a religious Jew. “In the Jewish tradition,” he notes, such civility is called “hessed – the doing of acts of kindness – which is in turn derived from the understanding that human beings are made in the image of God.” “Civility”, he adds, “itself may be seen as part of hessed: it does indeed require kindnesses toward our fellow citizens, including the ones who are strangers, and even when it is hard.” 4
Stephen Carter, Civility, New York: Basic Books, 1999, 61-75.
How to Change the World
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Vayeshev 5776
“To this day”, he adds, “I can close my eyes and feel on my tongue the smooth, slick sweetness of the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches that I gobbled on that summer afternoon when I discovered how a single act of genuine and unassuming civility can change a life forever.” “One life at a time, one day at a
time, one act at a time. That is how we make a difference.”
5
A single life, says the Mishnah, is like a universe. Change a life, and you begin to change the universe. That is how we make a difference: one life at a time, one day at a time, one act at a time. We never know in advance what effect a single act may have. Sometimes we never know it at all. Sara Kestenbaum, like Reuben, never did have the chance to read the book that told the story of the long-term consequences of that moment. But she acted. She did not hesitate. Neither, said Maimonides, should we. Our next act might tilt the balance of someone else’s life as well as our own.
We are not inconsequential. We can make a difference to our world. When we do so, we become God’s partners in the work of redemption, bringing the world that is, a little closer to the world that ought to be.
5
Mishnah, Sanhedrin 4:5 (original manuscript text).
How to Change the World
4
Vayeshev 5776
AT MAARIV ON MOTZEI SHABBAT, DEC. 5, BEGIN TO INCLUDE ""ותן טל ומטר IN SHEMONEI ESREI. LAWS ON PAGE 2.
נא לא לדבר בשעת התפילה PLEASE NO CONVERSATION DURING SERVICES WEEKDAY DAVENING INFORMATION
שבת פרשת וישב SHABBAT PARSHAT VAYEISHEV 23 KISLEV/DECEMBER 5 Haftorah is Amos 2:6-3:8. We bless the month of Tevet. We do not say אב הרחמיםor ל מלא-א. We say צדקתך צדקat Mincha.. FRIDAY NIGHT CANDLE LIGHTING - 4:11 PM MINCHA - 4:15 PM TZAIT - 5:14 PM
Sunday (12/6)
Monday (12/7)
Tuesday (12/8)
Wednesday Thursday (12/9) (12/10)
Earliest Talit
6:07 AM
6:08 AM
6:09 AM
6:10 AM
6:10 AM
6:11 AM
Shacharit
8:15 AM
6:10 AM
6:20 AM
6:20 AM
6:10 AM
6:20 AM
Gedolah
12:10 PM
12:10 PM 12:10 PM
12:11 PM
12:11 PM 12:11 PM
Mincha (Sun./ Fri) - Maariv
4:10 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
8:00 PM
Shkia
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
4:29 PM
Tzait
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
5:14 PM
—————
Mazel Tov to Shirley & Avi Vann on the engagement of their son, Yitz, to Sora Rivka Tannenbaum of Bloomingburg, New York. May they be zoche to build a bayit neeman b’yisroel!
BULLETIN INFORMATION TO REQUEST A BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT (BY 7:00 PM WEDNESDAY) OR DEDICATE A BULLETIN FOR $36 ($54 W/PHOTO), EMAIL [email protected].
Mazel tov to Rabbi & Julie Goldstein for being this year’s journal dinner honorees! Details to come!
CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM 18-25 SADDLE RIVER ROAD FAIR LAWN, NJ 07410-5909 201-797-0502 WWW.AHAVATACHIM.ORG
Molad for Tevet is Friday, Dec.11, 7:19 AM & 12 Chalokim.
Refuah shaleyma to Margo Greensrein who is recovering.
Rabbi Uri Goldstein
4:20 PM
Chanukah Friday night dinner is Shabbat, December 11, after Maariv. $20 per adults and children 12 years and over, $10 for children 6 to 11 years old, and under 6 are free. RSVP by Sunday, December 6 to Randi ([email protected] or 201-777-0731).
SATURDAY CHUMASH SHIUR - 8:00 AM SHACHARIT YOUTH - 8:20 AM SHACHARIT MAIN - 8:45 AM LAST KRIAT SHEMA - 9:26 AM GEMARA SHIUR - 3:00 PM MINCHA - 4:00 PM SHKIA - 4:29 PM MAARIV/HAVDALAH - 5:14 PM
Friday (12/11)
"1
President Stephen Agress
Kiddush Information Kiddush cleanup for the month of December is Kwestel, Lang, Latkin, Levine, Lewis, Lewissohn, Oppenheim, Oster, Plotnick, Racenstein, Rein & Riskin Kiddush setup for this Shabbat is Baron, Stock, Zarabi Kiddush setup for next Shabbat is Schwed, Solomon, Winchester
Adult Education GEMARAH SHIUR - Rabbi's Shabbat afternoon gemarah shiur takes place one hour before Mincha. Tuesdays, after Maariv (approx. 8:15 PM), Adult Ed. lecture series: The Great Torah Commentaries Their Lives and Learning, Part IRashi.
Numbers & Info ERUV UPDATE – 201-797-0502 MIKVAH – 201-796-0350. At Shomrei Torah, weekdays 9:00 PM– 10:30 PM, Motzei Shabbat from 11/4 hours after Shabbat ends for 1.5 hours. Kaylim Mikvah: Sunday 10 AM-3 PM TWITTER: @AhavatAchimFL FACEBOOK: facebook.com/ groups/ahavat.achim/
Mah Jong This Shabbat at 3:00 PM at the home of Dina Greene, 40-19 Marie Court.
Gita Cooperwasserע”ה Youth Program This week’s leaders are: Group Aleph Hannah & Uri, and Group Bet - Serena & Mikey
ותן טל ומטר: At Maariv on Motzei Shabbat, December 5, we begin to include "ותן טל "ומטרinto the Shemonei Esrei. If one became aware, after he had completed the Bracha מברך השנים, that he had omitted " "ותן טל ומטרhe should insert it right before " "כי אתה שומעof שמע קולנו. If he had already completed the Bracha שומע תפלה, he may insert it before saying ""רצה. If he had already begun " "רצהhe must return to the Bracha ""ברך עלינו, which is the proper place for ""ותן טל ומטר. If he had already completed the Shemonah Esrei, then he must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei. In any situation in which a person must repeat the entire Shemonah Esrei, he may fulfill his obligation by listening to every word of the Chazzan's Repetition from beginning to end, with the intention of thus fulfilling his obligation. It is advisable to repeat 101 times [at the very least 90 times]: "ואת כל מיני תבואתה לטובה ותן "טל ומטר לברכהso as to make the inclusion of " "ותן טל ומטרhabitual and fluent, thus eliminating any future doubt as to whether one included " "ותן טל ומטרin the Shemonah Esrei or not.
Upcoming Events Dec. 11 - Shabbat Chanukah Dinner/ Oneg Shabbat Dec. 19 - Kiddush sponsored by Amy & Stephen Agress in honor of Max's Auf Ruf and upcoming wedding to Hilana Smith Dec. 26 - Siyum Mesechet Sotah at Suedah Shlishit Dec. 26 - Family Bowling Party, 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM at Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes. RSVP to Lori ([email protected]). Dec. 28 - Sisterhood planning meeting at Lori’s home Jan. 2 - Seudah Shlishit is sponsored by the Wigod and Sokoloff families in memory of Ron’s and Cheryl’s ע”הparents Leonore (Leah bat Zev )ע”הand Benjamin (Boruch Chaim ben Zevulun Aryeh) Sokoloffע”ה. Jan. 2 - Sisterhood Book Club, 3:00 PM, at Betsy Sonnenblick's home, discussing The Orchid House, by Lucinda Riley. Jan. 6 - Sisterhood Paid Up Membership Meeting and Challah Braiding and Making Extravaganza! Feb. 13 - Ben Wechsler Bar Mitzvah Feb. 20 - Yachad Shabbaton Mar. 5 - Pre-Purim Wine and Cheese Tasting. April 15 - Pre-Pesach Shabbat Dinner
The Rabbi search committee has commenced its search for a new Moreh Deasra, and if anyone has suggestions please contact a committee member listed below: Aryeh Brenenson (Co-Chair) David Garfunkel (Co-Chair) Stephen Agress Jaimie Eisman Howie Komet Debbie Lang Joanne Oppenheim Arielle Schachter Marty Sonnenblick Arnie Spier Steve Wechsler
Shirley Vann has dedicated this week’s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchokע”ה. "2
IN TEVET WE REMEMBER , , , HEBREW DATE
CANDLE EVENING OF
Sylvia Eis
4
Blima Jablon
NAME
DEDICATOR
RELATIONSHIP
December 15
Jacob Eis
Mother
8
December 19
The Schwitzer Family
Grandmother
Samuel Eis
12
December 23
Jacob Eis
Father
Benjamin H. Sokoloff
12
December 23
Ron Sokoloff
Father
Andrew Leeb
13
December 24
Alice Banner & Janie Kirschenbaum
Daughters
Lester Plotnick
13
December 24
Steven Plotnick
Father
Ida Freilich
15
December 26
Eita Latkin
Mother
Udel Chedva Schaeffer
16
December 27
Mimi Weinraub
Mother
Sarah Brody
19
December 30
Ron Sokoloff
Grandmother
Leonore Sokoloff
22
January 2
Ron Sokoloff
Mother
Abraham Rotberg
25
January 5
Ellen Chass
Father
SUPPORT YOUR SHUL Donate a Sefer, etc. The shul has Siddurim & Machzorim ($36) and Chumashim ($54) available to be donated. Please contact Jeff Safier at [email protected] for details.
Yahrzeit Plaques Memorialize a loved one and receive written notice of your upcoming yahrzeit every year. In addition, your loved one’s name will be mentioned during the public Yizkor we recite on Yom Kippur and in the Bulletin. Plaques are $300 for members and $350 for non-members. For more information, contact Sophie Infield at 791-5518.
Mishebayrach
Sisterhood & Men’s Club
If you’ve made a Mishebayrach you’ve pledged to give Tzedakah on behalf of those for whom you asked Hashem's blessing. Contributions to the shul are appropriate and can be made via Paypal to [email protected], or via MasterCard, Visa or Discover by sending the information to Elliot Greene (contact him at [email protected]). If paying by check please indicate on its face “Aliyah Donation.” Thank you for your generosity.
Please contact Eli Greenbaum at [email protected] to join the Men’s Club. To join Sisterhood, please contact Lori Garfunkel at [email protected].
Scrip is available from Men’s email by emailing David at [email protected]. Pay using Paypal ([email protected]) or use Discover, MasterCard or Visa - email [email protected] for details.
Contributions to acquire honoraria in memory or honor of a loved one are welcome. The available Honoraria list will be provided upon request by contacting Steven Plotnick at [email protected].
David Schwitzer ע”הSocial Hall Please contact Jonathan Schachter at [email protected] to book the Schwitzerע”ה
Scrip
Honoraria
David Social Hall for an event or special occasion. $250 per simcha (members) / $500 paid in advance for nonmembers, plus the cost of any additional clean up (plus a $150 security deposit refunded when the social hall is returned in the condition it started in). Private caterers must be approved in advance by the Rabbi. "3
Mitzvah Cards Want mitzvah cards, contact Eita Latkin at 791-8940 or [email protected]. Cost is $3 per card. Also can be ordered in bulk ten cards for $25, which you send out yourself privately.
SUPPORT YOUR SHUL
ההנוכה
MISCELLANEOUS
CHANUKAH Sunday night, Dec. 6, after sunset (according to some, after the appearance of three stars) we light the Chanukah lights and make the following three Brachot: שעשה נסים,להדליק נר של חנוכה, and שהחיינו. After lighting we recite " "הנרות הללוetc. We also light the Chanukah Menorah, with all of its Brachot, in the southern side of the Shul (where the Menorah was lit in the Holy Temple) so as to make a public declaration of the miracle. " "שהחיינוis recited only on the first night. The first candle that is lit is at the extreme right of the Menorah. The established customs are to light inside the house, by a window that is in view of the street, or at the very least, that is in view of an alley or courtyard where people walk, and on each day to add an additional candle that is lit first that night (placing candles right to left, but lighting left to right). By the eighth day we light eight candles. The basic decree is for the head of the household to light, with everyone observing the candles being lit and hearing the Brachot, and if there are visitors they must at least contribute oil (or candles) or pay a few cents so that they become partners in the Mitzvah. The custom now is for even visitors to light their own Menorah, at the proper time, with their own Bracha, even if a member of the family is lighting the Menorah for his household. The individual family members may, if they so wish, light their own Menorahs and make their own Brachot. One may not derive practical benefit from the Chanukah lights, so we light an additional “Shammash” candle so if one needs light he can it. It is best to light at upon the initial appearance of the stars (obviously except for Saturday night). Under extenuating circumstances, one may light even after midnight if members of the family are awake to see the lights. There must be enough oil/wax to last one half hour past the time when the stars appear. If one is lighting after the appearance of the stars there must still be enough oil to burn for half an hour. If the Chanukah lights are accidentally extinguished prior to their having burned the requisite time, one is not obligated by Halacha to rekindle them; it is, however, advisable that one rekindle them without a Bracha. There is a custom to give children Chanukah Gelt as part of the process of publicizing the miracle. During Shemonah Esrei and Bircat HaMazon we add ועל הנסים. At Shacharit we recite the complete Hallel followed by a half-Kaddish (with the exception of Shabbat and Rosh Chodesh when the Hallel is followed by a Kaddish Tiskabel). If one omitted ועל הנסיםhe does not repeat the Shemonah Esrei or Birkat Hamazon. ו' דחנוכה SIXTH DAY OF CHANUKAH FRIDAY AFTERNOON, DECEMBER 11/KISLEV 29 We light the Chanukah Menorah at home before lighting the Shabbat candles. Some strive to recite Mincha before lighting the Chanukah lights. However, one must be careful not to delay the welcoming of Shabbat because of this. One may not light Chanukah or Shabbat candles earlier than Plag HaMincha (3:31 PM). One must be careful to use enough oil (or light a large enough candle) that will remain lit until thirty minutes after the appearance of three stars.
Rabbi Goldstein’s Hours Rabbi Goldstein is available to the membership by contacting him at [email protected] or by phone at 201-703-2458. For those who wish to contact him during office hours, he is available to be at the shul Wednesday evenings after Ma’ariv until approximately 10:00 pm. Please note that the Rabbi's e-mails are forwarded to his home PC and to his mobile phone. Become a Member of Ahavat Achim If you are not yet a member; please contact Aryeh Brenenson [email protected] for details on membership. Bikkur Cholim/Chesed If anyone could use a visit/assistance from the Bikkur Cholim/Chesed Committee, contact the Rabbi at [email protected] or Sara Levine at [email protected] or (201)797-9286. Contact Sara to join the committee and offer assistance in the manner that’s most conducive to your schedule. You may find yourself in a position to spend time visiting a homebound shul member, give them a call and see if they require any special assistance or might even decide to cook or purchase a special meal for them. No offer will be refused and all are appreciated. Personal Announcements Various life cycle events related to members are announced in the shul’s weekly bulletin (e.g., births, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings and deaths), and the bulletin acknowledges travel to/from Israel for study. We also welcome new members and those who’ve moved into the community and express interest in our shul. Other personal announcements generally are not appropriate for inclusion in the bulletin, except as part of the bulletin’s dedication (a $36 cost - $54 with photo). Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Shirley Vann has dedicated this week’s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchokע”ה. "4
The Sisterhood of Ahavat Achim Presents
Family Bowling Night
Saturday, December 26, 7:30 – 9:30 At Brunswick Fair Lawn Lanes Grown Ups and Kids of all ages are welcome $16 per person includes: 2 hours of Bowling and Shoe Rental Benji’s Pizza will be available upon request We need to reserve the lanes, so please RSVP (asap) to Lori at [email protected] or 201-791-1205
IT’S CHANUKAH…WHY COOK?!? COME JOIN US FOR A SPECIAL CHANUKAH FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER FOLLOWED BY AN ONEG SHABBAT
WHEN: FRIDAY DECEMBER 11, 2015 WHERE: OUR WONDERFUL SHUL - AHAVAT ACHIM DINNER TIME: AFTER KABBALAT SHABBAT COST:
$20 PER ADULTS AND CHILDREN 12 AND OVER $10 FOR KIDS 6-11 CHILDREN UNDER 6 ARE FREE
DESSERT AND THE ONEG SHABBAT WILL FOLLOW DINNER AT 7:15 AND ARE OPEN TO ALL RSVP’s for DINNER MUST BE RECEIVED by SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th.
Email [email protected] or call 201-777-0731
How to Change the World Vayeshev - 5 December 2015 / 23 Kislev 5776 In his Laws of Repentance, Moses Maimonides makes one of the most empowering statements in religious literature. Having explained that we and the world are judged by the majority of our deeds, he continues: “Therefore we should see ourselves throughout the year as if our deeds and those of the world are evenly poised between good and bad, so that our next act may change both the balance of our lives and that of the world.”1 We can make a difference, and it is potentially immense. That should be our mindset, always. Few statements are more at odds with the way the world seems to us most of the time. Each of us knows that there is only one of us, and that there are seven billion others in the world today. What conceivable difference can we make? We are no more than a wave in the ocean, a grain of sand on the seashore, dust on the surface of infinity. Is it conceivable that with one act we could change the trajectory of our life, let alone that of humanity as a whole? Our parsha tells us that, yes, it is. As the story of Jacob’s children unfolds, there is a rapid rise of tension between his children that threatens to spill over into violence. Joseph, eleventh of the twelve, is Jacob’s favourite son. He was, says the Torah, the child of Jacob’s old age. More significantly, he was the first child of Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel. Jacob “loved him more” than his other sons, and they knew it and resented it. They were jealous of their father’s love. They were provoked by Joseph’s dreams of greatness. The sight of the many-coloured robe Jacob had given him as a token of his love provoked them to anger. 1
Hilkhot Teshuvah 3:4.
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Then came the moment of opportunity. The brothers were away far from home tending the flocks when Joseph appeared in the distance, sent by Jacob to see how they were doing. Their envy and anger reached boiling point, and they resolved to take violent revenge. “ ‘Here comes that dreamer!’ they said to each other. ‘Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a wild animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.’” Only one of the brothers disagreed: Reuben. He knew that what they were proposing was very wrong, and he protested. At this point the Torah does something extraordinary. It makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, “At this point the Torah does reading the story, know this. The text says, “And Reuben something extraordinary. It heard and saved him [Joseph] from them.”
makes a statement that cannot be literally true, and we, reading the story, know this.”
We know this cannot be true because of what happens next. Reuben, realising that he is only one against many, devises a stratagem. He says, Let us not kill him. Let us throw him alive into one of the cisterns and let him die. That way, we will not be directly guilty of murder. His intention was to come back to the cistern later, when the others were elsewhere, and rescue Joseph. When the Torah says, “And Reuben heard and saved him from them” it is using the principle that “God accounts a good intention as a deed.”2 Reuben wanted to save Joseph and intended to do so, but in fact he failed. The moment passed, and by the time he acted, it was already too late. Returning to the cistern, he found Joseph already gone, sold as a slave. On this, a midrash says: “If only Reuben had known that the Holy One blessed be He, would write about him, ‘And Reuben heard and saved him from them,’ he would have lifted Joseph bodily onto his shoulders and taken him back to his father.”3 What does this mean? Consider what would have happened had Reuben actually acted at that moment. Joseph would not have been sold as a slave. He would not have been taken to Egypt. He would not have worked in Potiphar’s house. He would not have attracted Potiphar’s wife. He would not have been thrown into prison on a false charge. He would not have interpreted the dreams of the butler and baker, nor would he have done the same two years later for Pharaoh. He would not have been made viceroy of Egypt. He would not have brought his family to stay there.
To be sure, God had already told Abraham many years earlier, “Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and 2
Tosefta, Peah 1:4.
3
Tanhuma, Vayeshev, 13.
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that they will be enslaved and mistreated there” (Gen. 15:13). The Israelites would have become slaves, come what may. But at least they would not have had this happen as a result of their own family dysfunctions. An entire chapter of Jewish guilt and shame might have been avoided.
“We never can read the book that tells of the longterm consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others.”
If only Reuben had known what we know. If only he had been able to read the book. But we never can read the book that tells of the long-term consequences of our acts. We never know how much we affect the lives of others. There is a story I find very moving, about how in 1966 an eleven-year-old AfricanAmerican boy moved with his family to a hitherto white neighbourhood in Washington.4 Sitting with his brothers and sisters on the front step of the house, he waited to see how they would be greeted. They were not. Passers-by turned to look at them but no one gave them a smile or even a glance of recognition. All the fearful stories he had heard about how whites treated blacks seemed to be coming true. Years later, writing about those first days in their new home, he says, “I knew we were not welcome here. I knew we would not be liked here. I knew we would have no friends here. I knew we should not have moved here…” As he was thinking those thoughts, a woman passed by on the other side of the road. She turned to the children and with a broad smile said, “Welcome!” Disappearing into the house, she emerged minutes later with a tray laden with drinks and cream-cheese and jelly sandwiches which she brought over to the children, making them feel at home. That moment – the young man later wrote – changed his life. It gave him a sense of belonging where there was none before. It made him realise, at a time when race relations in the United States were still fraught, that a black family could feel at home in a white area and that there could be relationships that were colour-blind. Over the years, he learned to admire much about the woman across the street, but it was that first spontaneous act of greeting that became, for him, a definitive memory. It broke down a wall of separation and turned strangers into friends. The young man, Stephen Carter, eventually became a law professor at Yale and wrote a book about what he learned that day. He called it Civility. The name of the woman, he tells us, was Sara Kestenbaum, and she died all too young. He adds that it was no coincidence that she was a religious Jew. “In the Jewish tradition,” he notes, such civility is called “hessed – the doing of acts of kindness – which is in turn derived from the understanding that human beings are made in the image of God.” “Civility”, he adds, “itself may be seen as part of hessed: it does indeed require kindnesses toward our fellow citizens, including the ones who are strangers, and even when it is hard.” 4
Stephen Carter, Civility, New York: Basic Books, 1999, 61-75.
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“To this day”, he adds, “I can close my eyes and feel on my tongue the smooth, slick sweetness of the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches that I gobbled on that summer afternoon when I discovered how a single act of genuine and unassuming civility can change a life forever.” “One life at a time, one day at a
time, one act at a time. That is how we make a difference.”
5
A single life, says the Mishnah, is like a universe. Change a life, and you begin to change the universe. That is how we make a difference: one life at a time, one day at a time, one act at a time. We never know in advance what effect a single act may have. Sometimes we never know it at all. Sara Kestenbaum, like Reuben, never did have the chance to read the book that told the story of the long-term consequences of that moment. But she acted. She did not hesitate. Neither, said Maimonides, should we. Our next act might tilt the balance of someone else’s life as well as our own.
We are not inconsequential. We can make a difference to our world. When we do so, we become God’s partners in the work of redemption, bringing the world that is, a little closer to the world that ought to be.
5
Mishnah, Sanhedrin 4:5 (original manuscript text).
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