JSG Chapter09a ParentProblemToolbox s
Section 4: Parent Problem Toolbox
The Parent’s Toolshop® Jump Start Guide
The Parent Problem Toolbox
Step 3 of The PASSRR Formula: The Parent Problem Toolbox Welcome to the Parent Problem Toolbox! Here’s where you are in the Universal Blueprint® PASRR Formula. You’ve already learned how to: Prevent Problems from starting or worsening, with the Prevention Toolbox: Self-Esteem, Cooperation and Independence Toolsets Acknowledge the child’s feelings, with the Child Problem Toolbox: F-A-X Listening and Sibling Toolsets Keep practicing the top five five-star tools you learned in these two Steps/Toolboxes. You’ll be using them again soon, to redirect misbehavior. The next step in the PASRR Formula helps you calmly and assertively: Set limits and express concerns, with the Parent Problem Toolbox: •
The Keep Your Cool Toolset
•
The Clear Communication Toolset
In “Your Mission,” when you have a problem, take these steps, using the Universal Blueprint®: 1. “Stop and think for 1-10 seconds.” Use the Keep Your Cool Toolset to calm down and get oxygen to your brain, so you can think logically again. 2. “Plan a helpful response.” Ask Question 1: “Is this a Child problem or a Parent problem? Parent problems involve SHARP RV issues that are ultimately the parent’s responsibility to solve, such as Safety, Health, (in)Appropriate behavior, Rights, Property, Rules and Values. 3. “Deliver your response effectively,” taking these two PASRR steps in order. a. Acknowledge the child’s feelings first. This might be the first half of your first sentence. b. Set limits and express your concerns using the Clear Communication Toolset. What you say next depends on the problem type: •
If it’s a Child/Parent combo problem, stop and use two-party problem-solving, which was mentioned in the F-A-X Listening Toolset and is reviewed in the Clear Communication Toolset.
•
If there is Problem behavior, identify if it’s PU or PO and continue to the next PASRR step in your second sentence, to Redirect misbehavior. Depending on the misbehavior or situation, you might also take the last PASRR step and Reveal discipline.
www.ParentsToolshop.com
page 2
© 2017 Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE
The Parent’s Toolshop® Jump Start Guide
The Parent Problem Toolbox
Step 3 of The PASSRR Formula: The Parent Problem Toolbox Welcome to the Parent Problem Toolbox! Here’s where you are in the Universal Blueprint® PASRR Formula. You’ve already learned how to: Prevent Problems from starting or worsening, with the Prevention Toolbox: Self-Esteem, Cooperation and Independence Toolsets Acknowledge the child’s feelings, with the Child Problem Toolbox: F-A-X Listening and Sibling Toolsets Keep practicing the top five five-star tools you learned in these two Steps/Toolboxes. You’ll be using them again soon, to redirect misbehavior. The next step in the PASRR Formula helps you calmly and assertively: Set limits and express concerns, with the Parent Problem Toolbox: •
The Keep Your Cool Toolset
•
The Clear Communication Toolset
In “Your Mission,” when you have a problem, take these steps, using the Universal Blueprint®: 1. “Stop and think for 1-10 seconds.” Use the Keep Your Cool Toolset to calm down and get oxygen to your brain, so you can think logically again. 2. “Plan a helpful response.” Ask Question 1: “Is this a Child problem or a Parent problem? Parent problems involve SHARP RV issues that are ultimately the parent’s responsibility to solve, such as Safety, Health, (in)Appropriate behavior, Rights, Property, Rules and Values. 3. “Deliver your response effectively,” taking these two PASRR steps in order. a. Acknowledge the child’s feelings first. This might be the first half of your first sentence. b. Set limits and express your concerns using the Clear Communication Toolset. What you say next depends on the problem type: •
If it’s a Child/Parent combo problem, stop and use two-party problem-solving, which was mentioned in the F-A-X Listening Toolset and is reviewed in the Clear Communication Toolset.
•
If there is Problem behavior, identify if it’s PU or PO and continue to the next PASRR step in your second sentence, to Redirect misbehavior. Depending on the misbehavior or situation, you might also take the last PASRR step and Reveal discipline.
www.ParentsToolshop.com
page 2
© 2017 Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE
