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Keeping Secrets

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Visit Donna Hechler Porter’s website at: www.donnaporter2468.wix.com/donnahechlerporter. Copyright © 2014 by Donna Hechler Porter All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author/publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Front cover design: Donna Hechler Porter Stock photography purchased with user license from Istock and Shutterstock. Title page: picture of red milking devon cattle in Williamsburg Printed in the United States of America First Printing, 2014 ISBN-13:078-1499227000

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to places past or present and/or persons living or dead is either coincidental or has been fictionalized by the author. .

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To my sons, Hayden and Holden, May you never forget what is possible with big dreams and a lot of hard work

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Author’s Note Welcome to the pages of my first historical novel, Keeping Secrets, the first in my Children of the Light Series. Let me clear up two matters now before you read. First, this book is about members of the Society of Friends, a religious sect commonly known as the “Quakers.” This term was a derisive one used by people at the time to make fun of the group, and it would never have been used by Friends themselves. Therefore, throughout this book and out of respect for these people, the term Friends will be used among the characters unless it is meant as a form of derision used in dialogue by other characters. Second, the Friends did not refer to days of the week or months of the year with the usual names. Since both were named for Roman and Greek gods, they believed it dishonored God to use such names on days and months that belonged to Him and not false deities. Instead, they referred to them by numbers, such as first month (January) or third day (Tuesday). In no records could I determine if these were capitalized or not. Since the Friends believed no day or month was more special than the others, which is why they didn’t celebrate holidays, I decided it would be more keeping with the spirit of their beliefs to keep the first letters lowercase. Many blessings, Donna Hechler Porter

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Other Books by the Author Metes & Bounds I: Dugal McQueen & Some Descendants Metes & Bounds II: David Crews, Ancestors & Descendants I Will Be With You: The Hechlers, Germany to Russia to America

All available on author website at www.donnaporter2468.wix.com/donnahechlerporter

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Children of the Light I

Keeping Secrets

Donna Hechler Porter 5

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One Ninth Month of the Year of Our Lord 1753 Hanover County, Virginia Amon Cayle couldn’t take another ounce of trouble. Why had he not spoken his mind when the board suggested hiring his brother as the schoolmaster? He knew it would cause problems for David. Problems the boy, and Amon, didn’t need. He slung Andrew’s note to the desk, then turned a hard glare on his fourteen year old son. The boy’s blue eyes pierced him. “What did you tell your uncle?” Amon asked. “I asked him who decided this year that students could not take the test if their parents were under the care of the meeting.” That was not what the note had said. “When Uncle Andrew said the board had decided, I said it wasn’t fair.” David’s voice rose. “‘Tis never been that way before.” Amon laced his fingers together and rested his elbows atop his knees. The heat from the open window warmed his back. “What happened with Jackson?” The boy looked away, but not before Amon caught a glimpse of shame. “The note from Andrew says thee picked a fight with him.” Still nothing. Amon felt his temper rising. “David, if thou will not speak to me, I will have to punish you with the information I have. After last year, I will not tolerate any fighting.” “He said his Pa was trying to keep me out of the test so he had a better chance of winning and . . .” “And what?” “And that as long as you were a disorderly walker, he just might win.” “So you started a fight?” “No. He started it.” “Who threw the first punch?” 7

Donna Hechler Porter “I did, but he shoved me into a tree.” David shifted his right shoulder forward. “Tore the last good shirt I have.” Amon reached up and pulled the three inch ragged tear apart to reveal a middling patch of inflamed raw skin. At least he’d grazed the good shoulder and not the damaged one. “Get Rosie to put something on that later.” “‘Tis not even my shirt. Aunt Agathy found an old one at her house and gave it to me.” “What’s wrong with yours?” “They are all too small. I gave them to John. With this torn, I don’t know what I will wear to school tomorrow.” Amon ran his hand along his jaw. He wasn’t going to punish the boy for defending himself, and he didn’t doubt David was telling the truth. His nephew had been caught in too many lies over the years, lies his brother always believed. “What am I going to do Pa? I’ve worked my whole life to take that test.” “I am seeking restitution at the Friend’s next monthly meeting. After that, I will again be a member in good standing.” David’s chin jerked upwards. “I don’t want thee lowering yourself to apologize to those people for me.” Amon thought his head would burst. “Do you want to take the test?” David nodded. “Then ‘tis a good thing I go to meeting.” “But ‘tis not fair. Elizabeth was the one who took off and married a Baptist behind your back. So why apologize?” The pressure around Amon’s heart was almost too much to bear. “Because I made a promise to your mother before you children were born that I would try to remain faithful to the Friends, and as long as I remain censured for Elizabeth’s marriage, it puts the rest of you outside their world.” “‘Tis not so bad. We can still go to meeting. ‘Tis not like we are shunned.” “And outside the scholarship.” David’s shoulders fell. “Can’t you get them to go back to the old rules?” “No.” He chuckled. “I was going to seek restitution anyhow, so the requirements for taking the test are of little importance. Now, please, stay out of trouble at school.” The boy nodded. “And by all means, win that scholarship.” Amon grabbed his son’s cheeks, planted a kiss to his forehead, and finished off with a bear hug. He 8

Keeping Secrets playfully pushed the child away. “Go get Rosie to tend to that arm. We don’t need it infecting. Aunt Agathy is here today, so find her and see what she can do about that shirt.” “Yes, Pa,” he said, but not before Amon noticed a grin on the boy’s face. Maybe he should try to hug him more often, even if the child acted like he was too grown up for signs of affection. Amon turned back to the papers on his desk, ignoring the laughter and squeals of Abby and Thomas playing outside and the smoky aroma of roast duck from the kitchen. He signed and dated a now finished letter to Joshua Tanner about the sale of his property in Charles City County. Setting the page to the side, he would address and seal it later, his thoughts turned to his daughter, Judith, in Bedford County. He plucked a fresh page from the right top slot of the desk, dipped the quill in the ink, and tapped the small glass jar. He lifted his hand above the paper just as a knock sounded at the office door. He looked up to see his sister enter the room, his daughter Elizabeth trailing behind. Even at forty-four Agathy Langdon was a stunning woman. Her dark hair, a hallmark of the Cayles, had not yet begun to gray as their older sister Polly’s had. The baby was beginning to show below her waistline, but at least the fear of losing the babe at this stage was gone from the deep blue eyes. She and James desperately wanted this child, for so many others had been lost. Elizabeth, although shorter than Agathy, could have passed for her daughter instead of his late wife’s. Amon set the quill to the table, leaned into the chair’s back, and kicked his legs forward, the left ankle hooked over the right. Conversations with Agathy always took longer than necessary. With Elizabeth in tow, he could be here all day. His sister held up David’s torn shirt. If that was his last one, what was he wearing now? “Amon, thee has to do something about the children’s clothing. Not only are they worn, but they are outgrowing them at an astonishing rate.” She leaned over and plucked his shirt sleeve with her fingers. “And yours are not much better.” “I don’t need good clothes. I work all day.” “Amon,” she scolded. He looked away. He sure did need to get that letter finished. “Papa, I know we talked about getting me some new dresses for when Charles picks me up at the end of the year, but thee never did anything about 9

Donna Hechler Porter it.” Amon threw his hands up in surrender. “We are taking care of your dresses next week. I thought we’d take a trip into Williamsburg and get a seamstress on the job. It will be difficult to find someone around here to do an order this large.” Agathy’s mouth turned downwards. “The capital’s an awfully long trip. ‘Tis hard for someone that far away to make adjustments.” “‘Tis the best idea I have.” The irritation crept up his spine. “I cannot learn to sew while cutting and curing tobacco.” “Papa.” Elizabeth giggled. “I have a better idea.” Agathy smiled. “Mary could do them.” She may as well have punched him in the gut. He unfolded his arms and dropped them to his side, gripping the chair seat till his knuckles ached. “Mary? McKechnie?” “Yes.” She rushed on. “She is just over the fields, so she’s close by, so you wouldn’t have to worry about getting the alterations done.” “And she does beautiful work,” Elizabeth said. Amon couldn’t fault his daughter for the idea. She didn’t know about Mary McKechnie. Agathy, though, certainly knew better. He stood up and started shuffling papers around the desk. “You know how I feel about Mary.” “For heaven’s sake, ‘tis been twenty years. Time should have taken care of your hard feelings.” His hands froze. Hard feelings? Was that how she termed it? “No. We will go to Williamsburg.” He stepped between Agathy and Elizabeth and headed towards the hall. He had no particular direction or task in mind. He just wanted to be free of both of them. “Amon, you are being foolish.” Agathy was on his heels. “You need clothes, fast, and she needs the work.” He spun around. “So that’s it? She needs the work. ‘Tis not about me, but her.” “You are being unfair. It would be a good arrangement for you both.” “Papa.” Elizabeth touched his arm. “Her work is very good. Aunty Agathy uses her.” Amon felt like a fox in a trap. “Fine. We’ll go out to see her in the morning.” His daughter’s effervescent smile almost made the decision worth it. 10

Keeping Secrets Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck and gave him a hug accompanied by a light kiss, gifting his cheek, for a brief moment, with the smell of rose water. “I’m going to go make a list of what I want and maybe a sketch or two of some things I have in mind.” The heaviness in his heart as she scampered out the door was painful. She would scamper away from him for good at the end of the year when Charles came to take her back to the home he was carving for them out of the wilderness to the west. “Thou is a stubborn man, Amon Cayle, so before you change your mind take a quick look at this,” she said, thrusting David’s shirt into his chest, “and remember that thy children and servants are starting to look like ragamuffins. And Elizabeth--” “Elizabeth’s biggest problem is not clothing.” He grabbed the wad and lowered his voice. “She is not a bit prepared to be a frontier wife. She doesn’t know how to cook, she doesn’t know how to do more than one thing at a time, and her mind,” he said, poking his finger at his temple. “She is not tough minded enough to live in the wilderness.” He didn’t even name the rest. “Your biggest problem is not clothing either.” Agathy leveled a hard gaze at him. Amon hurled the shirt to the table behind her. It slid across the top and drifted to the floor. “If thee will take care of the clothing,” she said, “I will spend more time with Elizabeth, as well as helping out with David and John.” “How do you propose to do that? James told me last week to try and find someone to watch Abby and Thomas because you aren’t feeling well.” “I am tiring more easily, but showing Elizabeth how to cook and mend and such doesn’t take near the energy that chasing those two angels does.” “And the boys?” “David and John just need someone to talk to. They miss their Mama.” She smiled. His tension eased. He never could stay mad at her for long. She had been too much of a mother to him all these years. She left the room at a slower than usual pace. He was going to have to find someone soon to care of his two youngest children. He turned back to the fireplace. Over the mantle was a picture he had had painted of Abigail shortly after their marriage. She hadn’t been a beauty. That was probably why, when they were young11

Donna Hechler Porter er, he had eyes for Mary. After he had gotten to know Abigail, after she had eased his heart after losing Mary to Samuel McKechnie, he had come to think her beautiful. She had been the best wife and mother a man could ask for, and it wasn’t until the last few months that the day to day aching for her had lessened. There were times though, like today, when life seemed to pile up on him so fast and heavy, that the need for his wife’s gentle words and unfathomable wisdom became so acute his limbs seemed to contract with pain. If he had taken more of an interest in the children before she had left him, maybe he would not find them such a challenge now. How was he ever to let Elizabeth go at the end of the year? It wasn’t just that he would miss her sweet presence. He was worried that she couldn’t survive in the life she had chosen. How was he ever to help Abby become a young lady? How was he to get John to talk more and Thomas to talk less? And David? David was the toughest of all. How was he ever going to help the boy not only move past Abigail’s death, but accept himself as he now was? He bent down, picked the shirt up from the floor, and fingered it gently. The gash didn’t look repairable to him. Amon had not even noticed it was a larger shirt than David had been wearing recently. He just hadn’t paid attention. Why had he been so worried about clothes? It was foolish to labor so over a problem that could easily be fixed. Mary McKechnie was close. By all accounts she did good work, and Amon was simply hiring her for a job. Surely he could swallow his pride after all these years for his family’s sake. Besides, Agathy was right, he had problems much bigger than clothing. Much bigger, indeed.  “Come on, old woman.” Mary ignored the cow’s bawling and tugged the red milking devon by the rope into the skinny dirt lane leading up the hill to her house. She untucked one end of her white scarf from her bodice and wiped the perspiration from her forehead, then dabbed her neck. The occasional northern breeze offered only minimal relief against the heat and no relief against the mucky, rank smell rising from the cow’s muddy hooves and legs. Mary raised her eyes to start up the hill towards home. Halfway to the house, Amon Cayle and several of his children turned around. She stopped. 12

Keeping Secrets Why in the world would that man be here? Blossom bumped into her back. Mary scrambled to her feet, but just as she regained her balance the cow’s tongue slid up her cheek. She shoved Blossom’s slobbering jaw sideways carefully to avoid the curved horns. The girls giggled. Amon cleared his throat in silent reprimand. Mary tucked the ends of the scarf back into her bodice, then forced her legs forward. “Having trouble?” Amon’s dark eyebrows drew together. Is that all he could think of to say? “She is old and gets more stubborn with age,” Mary said. “We never use to have trouble with her leaving, but after our other cow died last spring she has done nothing but get out to find company.” She pushed a damp curl dangling near her right eye back into her coif and then started towards the frail, weathered barn to the right of the house. Amon fell into step beside her. “How did she get out this time?” “I don’t really know. We fixed several weak areas in the fence last week, and we moved the rope higher so she couldn’t pull it off the post.” Why was her voice shaky? And why was she rambling so? “Does she go somewhere specific?” Now why did the man ask that? For that matter, couldn’t he smell the beast? “To your bog. There is a patch of sweet clover there she likes.” “The bog isn’t the safest place for a cow, Sister Mary.” “I am well aware of how dangerous the bog can be, Brother Amon.” Why was the man here? It wasn’t to discuss her wayward cow. She shoved the animal into the corral. Once she was rid of Amon, she would come back and clean the mud from the animal’s legs. She pulled the natty rope over the top of the gate. “Believe me, I am trying to keep her in, especially since I think she is calving.” She bent over and shoved a rock three times the size of her fist in front, then turned back around to find the quartet watching her. “Sister Mary, this is my daughter Elizabeth. And this,” he said, chucking the toddler’s chin, “is my daughter Abby.” He reached behind his legs and steered a small boy out by his coal-black head. “This is Thomas.” Mary’s knees weakened so she had to lean against the fencing. If it hadn’t been for the cow’s rough tongue nuzzling her cheek yet again, she would have fainted. She tore her eyes away from the boy and forced them back to Amon’s face. That wasn’t much better. The man was better looking now 13

Donna Hechler Porter than in his youth. His round face had chiseled around the cheeks and jawline, and his eyes had taken on a deep cobalt color. She had to fight the dizziness in her head. Elizabeth stepped forward. “We wanted to speak with thee about doing some sewing for our family.” The man had come to hire her? “I need some new dresses. My husband will be picking me up at the end of the year to take me to Bedford County to our new home, and Papa needs new clothes for the entire household.” “For the slaves as well?” “Yes,” Amon said. “Is that a problem?” “No. Why would it be?” “I understand thee sold yours several years ago due to personal convictions.” She met his glare with one of her own. Truth was, Samuel had sold them. She had had little say in the matter at the time. None of that, however, was Amon Cayle’s business. “I will sew for anyone, slave or free.” Elizabeth’s keen eyes watched them both. “Sister Mary, thee will be sewing for the children as well. There are my brothers, David, John, and Thomas. And then, of course, my little sister.” Just at that moment, the girl started squirming. Amon set her to the ground. She wobbled towards Thomas who was hanging onto the fence. The boy reached a bare foot up to the lowest rung, then clutched the upper beam with his hands. “’Tis a rather large order, Sister Mary.” Amon crossed his arms and shifted one knee forward. “It will take some time to complete. Can thee handle it?” Mary’s nerves frayed. First, he saunters onto her property like the lord of the manor. Then, he tries to bait her with comments about slavery, and now he insinuates she can’t do the work. Beside them, Thomas tumbled off the fence and started choking on the cloud of dirt. “Brother Amon, I have no problem with large orders, provided that my employer does understand that sewing takes time to be done well.” “That’s what I am concerned about. Thy husband is not around to help.” Mary had to control her temper. This job could be too important, and if she made him angry he might not hire her, especially considering their history. 14

Keeping Secrets “My husband had been ill for some time before he died. For the past few years the work was being done by me.” “But has thee done any large orders?” “Most people around here do not need large orders.” It was one reason she wasn’t making enough money. “They want specialty gowns because they have their own seamstresses on their own plantations doing the servants’ and children’s clothing.” “So thee has not done large orders.” She pressed her fists into her sides. It was that or throttle him. “Large orders are no different than small ones. They just take more time.” Elizabeth’s eyes were now rounder than two moons. If the man had intended to be this hostile, he should have left his children at home. Or better yet, not come to hire her at all. “Papa, I have seen Sister Mary’s work. ‘Tis more than good. Please?” He unfurled his arms, then nodded. “Fine. When could thee start?” “Next week.” “Next week? I thought thee needed the work.” Needed the work? Had James or Agathy, her brother and sister-in-law, talked him into coming? “I do, but I just got back from moving my mother here. I have been gone all summer tending my father, and I need to take care of a few things before I start.” Amon pressed his lips together, the long wrinkle to the right of his mouth creasing. She hadn’t remembered him being so difficult before. But then, she hadn’t betrayed him before either. A scream from the fencing broke their standoff. Thomas had fallen onto his sister. The children were thrashing each other, dust whirling around them, Blossom mooing and twisting her horned head from side to side between the timbered railing. Amon picked Abby up and handed her to Elizabeth. He then hauled Thomas up by his collar. The child scrambled his feet and swung his fists trying to get to his sister. “Fine,” he said. “But thee will do Elizabeth’s dresses first.” “I will work in whatever order thee wishes.” “And I’ll pay thee when the work is completed.” She almost groaned aloud. Did the man never hire anyone for work? Or did he always get his way when doing so? She knew he had done well for himself over the years, but business was business. “I am sorry, Brother Amon, but except for small mending I require half 15

Donna Hechler Porter payment up front and the rest when the job is done.” He jerked Thomas to a stop. “What if I don’t like your work?” “I have never yet had anyone complain about my work. Besides, I cannot buy the needed supplies without the cash thee advances me.” Beside them Elizabeth shifted her feet, clearly at a loss as to how to smooth things over. The man continued his long stare. Thomas’s whimpering had little effect on him. Finally, he threw his empty palm upwards. “Half up front. We will decide how much that is when thee comes to measure. What day can I expect thee?” “How about Fourth Day?” He nodded, then spun around and headed towards the road, dragging Thomas with him. “Sister Mary?” Elizabeth held out her hand. “Thanks to thee.” “Come on, Elizabeth, we have things to do.” The girl smiled apologetically, then hurried to catch up with her father, her sister weighing her down. It was as if the man couldn’t get away from her fast enough. Even that was too slow for Mary.

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Two Mary turned to see her mother, Huldah Langdon, step off the front porch and head towards her, Penelope close at her heels. The Pilgrim goose was more dog than bird, waddling and squawking at Amon and the children. Mary would have laughed at the fowl’s brave antics if she hadn’t been so upset over Amon’s visit. “Hush, Sister Penelope. They are gone.” Huldah met Mary at the corral. “My, my. That man sure has aged nicely." "Mama!" Huldah's eyes widened in surprise. "Just stating a fact.” "Thou hast seen Amon over the years.” "Not up close. ‘Tis downright sinful for a man to look better in his forties than he did in his youth.” Mary shifted her gaze upwards. She didn’t wish to discuss Amon Cayle, and she certainly had no intention of agreeing with the woman. She looked again at his retreating figure. Tall and lean, his walk still demanded attention. It was the smile, however, that she remembered the most. Wide and infectious. ‘Tis a good thing he hadn’t leveled that at her just now. She never would have been able to think straight. She took one last look at Blossom, scanned the horizon to see the sun almost overhead, and decided the girls could clean the cow up when they got home from school. “And his daughter is very pretty. Is she the oldest?” “No. The oldest got married about a year and a half ago.” “This girl looks like her father." Mary refrained from adding that her disposition was all Abigail. Sweet. Even-tempered. Unflappable. She rounded the corner of the corral, passing between the barn on her right and the house on her left, and headed towards the kitchen garden. The women had been working there before Penelope had alerted them to a fleeing Blossom. How her mother had kept the goose quiet upon Amon’s arrival she had no idea. 17

Donna Hechler Porter “I am glad thee agreed to do the work, Daughter.” "I didn't have a choice. ‘Tis a large order and I need the money." "And he knows lots of people. Word gets around.” Mary stepped inside the worn garden fencing. “How many onions did thee find?” “Not as many as you would like.” Huldah shooed Penelope through the gate, then closed it behind her. “If you don’t mind my saying so, you seemed a bit unfriendly towards one another." "Brother Amon and I haven't spoken in years." "Come now. Surely you have crossed paths at meeting and school." "We go out of our way to make sure we don't cross paths.” ‘Twas why she was so shocked by little Thomas’s appearance. She had never gotten a good look at him before today. It had completely sucked the air from her lungs. Even now, her hands shook from the memory. She stared at the hopeless tangle of weeds and fading vegetable plants. She wasn’t sure she could salvage enough to feed any of them for the next few weeks until the fall vegetables were ready. It was probably time to buy from some of the local farmers. If Lawrence had been any kind of a brother, he would have sent them home with a large stockpile in thanks for having spent the summer nursing Papa. But then, he wasn’t that kind of brother and never had been. Mary stepped over the rows to the onion patch on the far right side. Huldah spoke. “’Tis a shame thee and Abigail didn’t remain friends. I missed her when she was no longer around." “I married Samuel. Then, she married Amon and they moved up here.” “But you and Samuel moved here a few years later, and you never rekindled your friendship. Did something happen between you girls?” “I don’t really want to talk about it.” Mary knelt into the dirt and began digging. She had never told her mother of her shameful choices concerning Amon, or what a bad friend she had later been to Abigail. All Huldah knew was that Mary suddenly decided to marry Samuel. She hadn't even known Mary was forced into it by Lawrence. Huldah knelt down on the other side of the row. “Well, I am glad you are doing the work. You don’t seem to have enough money.” "I’m a poor widow with a houseful of girls to feed and no sons to help. Of course money is hard to come by.” Lawrence cheating her out of her inheritance, and possibly stealing her savings, hadn’t helped. "And Samuel only let me work for outsiders." 18

Keeping Secrets "But Samuel isn't here anymore." "Law is. He has insisted that I keep the same arrangement as Samuel." "What does Law have to do with it?" Mary leaned back to her heels. “In the will Samuel left me in control of the property, not that it has done me any good.” There wasn’t much she could do with all the land. “But he named Lawrence as the girls’ guardian. He has insisted that I work only for Friends, because Samuel didn’t wish them to be influenced by outsiders.” “But ‘tis not enough work, Mary.” “I know, but I don’t have a choice. He’s threatened to take them away if I work for outsiders, if I contest the will, even if I keep pestering him about my lost savings.” The knot in her gut tightened. “I’d die if I lost the girls. They’re my life.” Huldah scraped the back of her hand across her forehead. “I’m surprised James can’t do anything about it. After all, he is a lawyer.” “James is the one who told me to leave it be. Nothing good could come of challenging Lawrence.” “I just don’t understand why my eldest is so hateful.” Mary didn’t respond. At sixty-nine her mother had lived a lifetime mostly filled with love, from her girlhood in Merchant’s Hope to her marriage in Weyanoke. She was aware of Lawrence’s selfish nature, of his desire for fancy things, and of his deep need to be admired in the community. She was not aware of the depth of his cruelty. Mary and James had vowed to keep it that way. She dropped another onion in the basket and stood to her feet. At first glance there appeared to be at least ten. Maybe, beneath all the tangled mess, there was more here than she realized. She only had what she had because James had been sending someone over every few days to tend the garden in her absence. Huldah tossed the spade into the dirt, reached for the cane, and stood to her feet. “This infernal heat is maddening. Why don’t we take a break and start on that pork for lunch?” Mary smiled. “Go on to the kitchen, and I’ll get these baskets to the cellar.” The women walked in silence down the row towards the house, Penelope’s chortles mixing with the lonely bawl of Blossom in her corral. At the end they flanked the fencing and headed towards the north gate. Huldah went towards the kitchen, while Mary went to the left of the building and stopped. From here she could see the road that led to Cayle Farms. 19

Donna Hechler Porter Her heart squeezed tight. She shouldn’t have expected Amon Cayle to be anything but brusque with her. Not only did she leave him without so much as a farewell after leading him to believe that she had chosen him, but her sudden absence was filled with rumors of the worst sort. She had never told him what happened either. In fact, she had flat out lied. Why had he come asking her for work? She never expected him to speak to her again. It was likely James or Agathy, or perhaps even Elizabeth, had put him up to it. Maybe that was the only thing that would make the job bearable. If he wasn’t willing to speak to her, he wouldn’t ever ask about the past, and she wouldn’t be forced to lie, yet again, to protect him. And protect him she would, no matter the cost.  Once on the road, Amon took Abby from Elizabeth so he could move at as rapid a pace as possible. He was barely aware of his older daughter working hard to keep up with his stride. Thomas, who for the moment had run on ahead, was brandishing sticks and throwing rocks at make-believe Indians. At least there was nothing for him to climb at the moment. Amon hadn’t spoken directly to Mary McKechnie in twenty years, and considering the close-knit community of the Society of Friends in this part of Hanover County that had been a feat indeed. So why in the world had he let James and Agathy talk him into this? As far as he was concerned, he should have let another twenty years pass. He had not remembered her being so cantankerous before. The Mary he knew had been a sweet, pliable, easy-to-get along with girl. She had willingly let his fingers unravel the dark mass of curls hidden under her white cap. Her large brown eyes had welcomed his advances, while her arms had eagerly sought the shelter of his own. This Mary was hard. Her eyes tired and careworn. Her skirt and vest drooped around her slender frame. She no longer worked to keep that mass of curls under her cap, but simply brushed it from her face as she had brushed him away all those years ago. His daughter slipped her hand through the crook of his arm and tried to slow his pace. “Elizabeth, there are a lot of seamstresses. Why do we have to hire her?” “We’ve been over this, Papa. I like the work she does. She’s close by, so 20

Keeping Secrets ‘tis easy to work with her. And Aunt Agathy said--” Amon cut her off with a lift of his hand. “I know what Agathy said.” “Why doesn’t thee like Sister Mary?” “I like her just fine.” He swallowed the lie down his throat like bitter gall. “You don’t act so. You always frown when her name is mentioned. You certainly didn’t want to hire her. And just now you were a bit ill-mannered.” Amon had done such a good job hiding the past, and apparently Abigail had too, that none of their children suspected the history he shared with Mary Langdon McKechnie. “I can still find someone in Williamsburg,” he said. “But Sister Mary is right next door.” Yea, that was the problem. She had been next door all these years, and he had managed to avoid her. Now, to be thrust right into her path was more than he could bear. “Elizabeth, I promised thee a new wardrobe before thee leaves. And the boys and I, not to mention Abby, need clothes, as do the slaves.” He swallowed the tightness down his throat. “But if she does not deliver good, quality clothing then I won’t use her again.” She leaned her cheek against his arm. “I think thee will be very pleased.” Amon doubted it seriously. He started towards home at a more reasonable pace. It didn’t matter how good Sister Mary’s work was, he didn’t intend to hire her but this one time. Just looking at her brought back too many memories. And he didn’t wish to relive any of them, the good nor the bad. They were best left buried.   Amon haunched down, the nearly ripe tobacco plants towering above him towards the clear Ninth Month sky. In front of him stood his three sons, all images in varying degrees of himself. Nine year old John scrunched up his face. “I think they look ready to cut.” Thomas threw his arms wide. “Cut it now! Cut! Cut! Cut!” “Pa didn’t ask thee,” John scolded. Thomas narrowed his eyes at his brother, then clenched his fists. Amon pulled the child into the wedge between his knees before the boy could take a swing at his brother. 21

Donna Hechler Porter “David, what does thee think?” Amon searched his eldest son’s face. “’Tis certainly thick enough.” The boy pressed the leaf end between his thumb and forefinger. “And it cracks fairly well, but not fast enough.” He released the leaf. It popped back into place. “It should also be slightly grayer, and there are no spots yet.” “That’s good.” Amon couldn’t help but smile. “How much longer?” “I’d say let it ripen another two weeks. That is, if the weather holds out. I don’t feel any rain coming, or any cold, leastwise not in the next few days.” John reached for Amon’s shoulder. “It looks good to me, Pa.” “’Tis not just about looking good. It has to be the right texture and color.” “So it can look ready to cut, but not be ready to cut?” John asked. “’Tis so,” Amon said. “How did David know?” Amon let go of Thomas and stood up. “By coming out here with me every year from the time he was your age and listening and learning. Thee will get that sixth sense, too. After all, thee is a Cayle.” Amon patted David’s dark head. “I could not have done better myself.” The boy grinned from ear to ear. The rare smiles always caught Amon by surprise. He started towards the end of the row. John and Thomas ran ahead. David fell into step beside him. “Where are you going now?” “I need to see how the men are doing with tearing down the kitchen.” “Is it alright if Coop and I go fishing this afternoon?” Amon stopped at the end of the row, the tobacco on his right standing straight and tall like the English army, the empty expanse to his left sucking the breath from his lungs. “Leaving up the old kitchen will not bring your Mama back, nor,” he paused, “will it change things.” “I know. ‘Tis . . .” David dug his toe into the dirt. “Can we just go fishing? We worked all morning cleaning the barn. Thee said we could.” “Be back in time for supper.” David nodded. Within minutes he was in the barn and out of sight. Amon headed down the same path towards the barn and the bachelor’s quarters serving as the temporary kitchen, the sound of ripping wood growing louder with each step. He passed between the giant, gnarly oak tree to his left and the square front porch of the house, which he had added for Abigail only months before the accident, on his right. Just past the house the 22

Keeping Secrets white picket fence bordered the smaller kitchen garden. The summer heat had taken its toll. If it hadn’t been for the slaves running barrels of water twice a day in the farm wagon, they wouldn’t have the food stores they did now. Amon gripped the fence, then turned. For the last year he had avoided the charred building. Now there was a gaping hole where even that had been. He wandered towards the fireplace and stared into the blackened cavern. He had only stood in this spot a handful of times since last year. This time wasn’t any better than the others. His stomach twisted into knots. He shouldn’t have been so hard on David. After a year, his own feelings of guilt were still steering his choices. “Massa Amon, do you want us to start on the chimney?” Amon turned to the broad shouldered African. The man sported enough sweat on his arms and blue shirt to fill Cayle Creek during a drought. “No, Socrates, I’ll deal with it later.” “We is fixing to take the last of the wood to burn. And we be putting them bricks in the slough at the creek like you wanted. If’n you change your mind about that chimney, you just let me know.” Amon nodded his thanks, then spun around and headed back towards the house. He was going to change his mind, but it wouldn’t be to let the men take it down. It would be to leave it alone until he was ready to deal with it. He just wasn’t sure when that would be.  Annie McKechnie’s face burned despite the northern breeze racing through the open windows of the Matadequin Creek Friends School. How could she have missed deception? She could see it in her head even now. “Brother David,” Schoolmaster said, “please spell deception.” Silence shrouded the classroom. “Deception,” he said. “D-e-c-e-p-t-i-o-n. Deception.” Smug grins raced across the boys’ faces on the left, while a collective sigh washed over the girls’ side of the room. The boys would not remember any of her earlier victories, only this defeat. “Young man, thou hast won the year’s first spelling bee.” David Cayle threw his right arm across his waist and bowed. Andrew Cayle frowned. “Pride goeth before a fall, Nephew, and the 23

Donna Hechler Porter haughty are brought low.” “Yes, Schoolmaster.” Annie, sitting on the wooden bench next to her sister, Katie, bit her lip to stem the tears. It was the worry that had caused her to miss that word. She had tried hard to keep her mind on her studies and not on her uncle’s threats, but even the prospect of her mother’s new job for Amon Cayle had not lessened her fears. And now this! The humiliation was too much to bear. “Class, remember to bring your firewood to school. A quarter of a cord per child. Be sure to show it to me when it is brought so I can give thee credit.” Katie nudged her. “Does that mean us?” Annie shrugged and remained silent. It wouldn’t do to earn the man’s displeasure now before she asked her question, again. “Now, if there are no further questions--” “Schoolmaster Cayle?” Annie raised her hand. When Andrew Cayle nodded she stood to her feet, gripping her hands at her waist to stop the shaking. “I was wondering if thee had come to a decision about whether or not I might take the scholarship test in the spring?” He peered over the spectacles. “Sister Annie, as I said before, girls do not take the test.” “But why not? We learn all the same subjects.” “True, but girls have no need for the scholarships.” “Is there some rule or guideline stating what the scholarship must be used for?” “No.” “Then when I win--” His face pinched tight. “--I can use it to go to buy an apprenticeship or some supplies to sew with.” Titters rippled through the room. Across the aisle David Cayle stood. “With all due respect, Schoolmaster, girls have no need of the scholarship money. They don’t get any further education than this school as they have no need of it. When girls get married, their husbands provide for them.” The heat rushed to Annie’s head. “Not all girls choose to marry, and some women lose their husbands. Then there’s a need to earn a living.” 24

Keeping Secrets “’Tis the exception, not the rule.” “You won’t think it’s an exception when you are helping us financially.” “’Tis what indentures are for.” “Would thee want to be indentured?” “Enough.” The schoolmaster rapped his pointing stick on the table. Annie wanted that scholarship money, and she certainly had a greater need than David Cayle. “Please, Schoolmaster Cayle,” she said, “the Friends have always taught that women are equal to men in intelligence, even in their ability to preach of the Light. If I do poorly, then I’m the greater fool.” How humiliating! But his face softened, so it must have worked. “You are quite right. I grant permission.” The room erupted with cries of anger from the boys and shouts of applause from the girls. Annie pressed her hands towards her breast and bowed. “Thanks to thee for thy generosity.” He dismissed the class and stalked out the back door. She shared a hug with Katie, her joy spilling into a smile. She picked up her books and stepped into the aisle. A scuffle broke out amongst the boys. She tried to hasten past the fray, but her right foot caught on something. The books flew from her hands as her arms reached out to brace her fall. First her hip, then her shoulder slammed against the hard wooden floor. She rolled sideways, trying to catch back her wind. The boys laughed and jabbed each other in the ribs, their faces moving in and out, round and about, their fingers pointing at her, then at each other, their mirth deafening. Some were even imitating her fall without really falling. In the middle, like a statue, stood David Cayle, his eyes cold, his face hard. She knew he would be upset if she got permission, but to humiliate her this way? “Leave her alone.” Katie pushed through the melee. “Is thee alright, Sister?” Katie pulled her to her feet. Jackson Cayle pressed his fingers together before his chest. “Thanks to thee for thy generosity,” he said in a high voice. He bent over at the waist and bowed his dark head almost to the ground. Another round of laughter erupted from the boys. The shame quickened through her limbs. She lifted her foot and shoved it into the boy’s right shoulder. His back landed against David Cayle’s knees. The cousins landed on the floor, their arms and legs twining together. 25

Donna Hechler Porter The boys began another round of fun while the two spent some time untangling. When David finally rose to his feet, he turned to Annie. “Why are you trying to pick a fight with a boy?” “You started it.” “I did not.” “Yea,” John Cayle said, scratching his head above his ear, “you kind of did. She was just standing there--” “Shut up,” David said. “Pay him no heed.” John nodded towards his brother. “He’s just mad because you got permission to take that test.” “Because girls shouldn’t be taking the test!” "And you should not be taking the test at all," Annie shouted. “You would have graduated last year if it hadn’t been for your mother’s--” Her palm flew to her mouth. David’s jaw locked tight. It was his eyes, though, that broke her heart. The harder he tried to dam the tears, the bluer they deepened. How could she have been so cruel? It had been understood among all the students that his mother was not to be mentioned, ever. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He brushed past her towards the back door. “Please, David--” “Just leave me be.” He turned to look at all of them. “All of you. Just leave me be.” He slammed his palm into the door frame, then stalked outside. A general murmur broke out from the other students as they began leaving, too. Katie rounded on her. “Now you’ve gone and done it. He’s mad. There’s no telling what he’ll do.” Annie jerked her books from her sister’s arms, then stomped towards the door. “I feel bad for what I said about his mother, but otherwise he doesn’t scare me.” “I didn’t say he’d scare thee.” Katie grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. “‘Tis just . . .” “’Tis what?” “He is sort of the leader of the other boys. He could make life hard.” “Our life is hard enough already, Sister. David Cayle cannot make it any worse.”

26

Three After two weeks of temperature extremes, the angst hot heat of summer met her demise as autumn laced across the Virginia countryside. That alone was enough to lift Mary’s spirits. The prospect of starting work tomorrow on a large order for a prominent gentleman made her giddy. Once she had gotten use to the idea, and had quit fretting about working for a former suitor, she was able to look forward to tomorrow. The weekend had been spent harvesting the remaining scant vegetables, roping the herbs, cleaning the house, washing the sheets and linens, and catching up on all the chores she had neglected since staying the summer at Langdonwycke nursing her father. She wanted the house in good working order so her mother could take over the household with the girls’ help. This would be a full time job requiring most of her days, and the harder she worked the sooner she could get paid. So when she saw her brother, Lawrence, riding up in a new riding carriage with their youngest brother, Billy, she was more than a little annoyed. With the oversized red wheels and the sleek black seat built for two, it was almost too fancy for a Friend. Had he used her part of the inheritance to purchase it? And why was he here so soon after she left Langdonwycke, and that under less than ideal circumstances? After a cold, stiff hello, Mary invited them to the back porch. Huldah guided them to the end closest to the kitchen and offered them chairs on either side of a knee-high table. Lawrence set his new tricorn hat to the porch railing, while Mary sent her eldest daughter, Sarah, to the kitchen for some food. Penelope flew onto the porch and waddled to her bed beside the back door. Made by Mary’s father, it had hand turned spindles darkened with age at either end and along the back. A wooden drawer beneath the open side had become stuck long ago. The goose hopped to the tattered feather mattress, circled a few times, then sat down. Mary, sitting in a repaired rocking chair James had given her last spring, did her best to enjoy the cooling autumn breeze, Annie’s skirt draped across 27

Donna Hechler Porter her lap, her scissors snipping the hem. The faded burgundy linen had been lengthened several times, and this would be the last. It was Annie’s favorite, but before long both Annie and Katie would need new clothes. With Sarah no longer growing, there were no hand-me-downs. Their shoes, too, needed replacing. Mary was hoping to do so with part of the money she earned working for Brother Amon. “Mama, that goose’s bed is in terrible shape,” Billy said. “I can get thee a new one.” “I do not wish to have a new one.” “’Tis falling apart.” “’Tis not,” she huffed, crossing her blue-veined hands on the cane’s silver top. Sarah came onto the porch and offered the men a hunk of yellow cheese, an apple, and a jug of spring water. Billy curled his lips. “Come on, Niece, don’t thee got no bread? Maybe some tea?” “No, we do not,” Mary interrupted. “Our food stores are scant. I haven’t been home all summer, remember?” And what food she had she was loathe to share with these two. “If thou hast no need of me, Mama,” Sarah’s hands twisted at her waist, “I’ll go back to the kitchen.” Mary nodded. With great flair Billy crossed his arms and eased down in to the chair, unwilling to eat even the little bit offered. Huldah changed the subject. “Lawrence, dear, I must admit that I thought thee was bringing my stuff to me.” “In that fancy piece of trappery?” Billy laughed. Huldah frowned. “If you were coming this way, you could have brought another wagon.” Lawrence threw his brother a quick, angry glare, then leaned forward. “Why is thee carrying out this foolish notion of living here? You heard the will. Thou hast the use of Langdonwycke until--” “Until I die?” She grunted. “Thou hast changed everything about the place.” “Mama, the place needs to be updated. My children are going into the world and making marriages.” “My children made fine matches without the house being fancied up.” She gripped the cane tighter. “Now, do you still have the list? I want the rest of my geese. Penelope misses her family. I would like one or two of my rose 28

Keeping Secrets bushes as well. And I am entitled to at least one of those cows.” “Mama,” Billy said, “I’m not helping my brother bring a bunch of animals this far.” Mary wanted to pinch her little brother’s ear like she did when they were kids and make him apologize. Instead, she gripped the fabric tighter. Huldah continued. “And I want my rocking chair. That is, if your wife will get out of it long enough.” Lawrence’s fat lips pinched tight. “Getting your things is not the problem. Living here is. Mary can barely support herself and the girls. Look at this sorry plate of food.” “We have plenty of food,” Huldah lied. “Just not enough to share with people who have plenty. Besides, Mary now has a large order from Amon Cayle. She’ll be making plenty of money soon.” It was a number of stitches before Mary realized they were no longer talking. She lowered Annie’s skirt to her lap and braced herself. “What is it, Law?” “You can’t do the job. Brother Amon’s daughter married a Baptist. Did you not know?” “He said the girl got married. I did not ask to whom.” “Brother Amon has been placed under the care of the meeting for aiding the marriage, and since he has not given good satisfaction as to his part in the whole affair, his presence has been requested at the monthly meeting next week. I will be visiting him this afternoon.” “But Son, Amon Cayle has been a respected member of this community for years.” “Perhaps, but he is not a very devout Friend.” “That’s not my concern,” Mary argued. “I’m only doing a job.” “As the girls’ guardian, I require thee to work only for Friends.” “And he is a Friend.” “But not in good standing.” Huldah beat the stick against the floor. “You are being unfair.” “’Tis what Samuel wanted, Mama.” Mary jumped to her feet and tossed the skirt to the seat behind her. “Samuel is not here anymore.” Lawrence’s black, bushy eyebrows curled upwards as he rose to meet her. “This is just one more reason why ‘tis better if Mama comes home with me. You do not need another mouth to feed.” “Son, if thee would just give Mary her savings back--” “I do not have her savings.” 29

Donna Hechler Porter Mary stepped forward. “Then give me my fair share of the inheritance.” “The will is air-tight.” “What if I take thee to court? What if I prove you changed the will and stole my money?” With one long stride he was around the table and her mother, his massive frame hovering above her. She looked up into his face, using all her will power to stand her ground. Behind him her mother stood to her feet, gripping the cane tightly in her hand. Penelope started squawking. “Thou doesn’t want to do that.” The words crawled from the man’s oversized mouth. “I will take those girls away from you and throw them all into servitude if you do not abide my wishes. So I trust thee can go later to Brother Amon’s and get out of your work there. I’ll be listening to hear that it is so. You have till the end of the week.” The wrath ripped through her limbs. If she had possessed any kind of a weapon she would have used it on him. “Get off my property!” He reached the bottom of the steps and turned back. At the same moment, they both saw his tricorn balancing on the porch railing. Mary grabbed it, then slung it at him. It bounced from his juggling hands and skidded into dirt. He plucked it up and brushed the leaves from it. “This is a new hat.” “I know.” “Thou will regret your haste, Sister.” “’Tis not the first thing I regret where you are concerned, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” He took the corner of the house at a purposely slow pace. Billy shoved his own out-of-shape faded tricorn on his head, then headed towards Penelope’s bed. Huldah stepped forward. “What is thee doing?” “I am taking this bed,” he said. Penelope jumped to her feet and started a low honking, splaying her wings and ruffling her feathers, her chest stuck forwards in a menacing display of power. Billy, afraid of the animal, paused long enough for Huldah to tap the silver tip of the cane into his chest. “Leave my bed and my goose alone.” Another tap. Billy stepped back. “I will not be responsible for whatever part of your body she chooses to rip apart if thee won’t listen.” A last tap, harder this time. Penelope set up a ferocious series of honks and scurried towards Billy. He turned around and ran after Lawrence. 30

Keeping Secrets “Mama?” Mary turned to Huldah. “Didn’t you say he tried to take Penelope’s bed before you left Langdonwycke?” “He sure did. Penelope bit him on the back of the leg as a matter of fact.” “Why does he want it so bad?” “I have no idea.” She lifted her gaze upwards. Mary didn’t either, and she didn’t have time to worry over something so trivial. She reached for the tray of uneaten food and headed towards the kitchen. Once inside she went to the wooden sideboard beneath the long window. She swiped at the tears drizzling down her cheeks. To be offered a large order that could generate considerable income, and then to be told she couldn’t do it, was demoralizing. How could she ever improve her girls’ situation if she couldn’t work even for wayward Friends? Mary doubled her fists and slammed her pent up rage into the table. Only her mother’s arm around her waist stilled her shaking. “I feel like I’m in a constant battle, Mama. First, Samuel. Now, Law. And always the need for money.” “Thee could still do the job. Law could be bluffing.” “No. He’s not bluffing. James warned me so right after Papa’s funeral.” The bitter tears seared her cheeks. If she did Amon’s work, she risked losing the girls. If she didn’t do the work, she continued to struggle financially. In the end, there really was no choice. For some reason the prospect filled her with dread. While it had been hard to agree to work for Amon, she had a feeling it was going to be a lot harder to tell him no.  Schoolmaster Cayle peeled the spectacles, round as pine knots, from his nose and stared at Annie. “May I help thee?” The high, nasal quality to his voice had always grated on Annie’s ears, and with the classroom empty it seemed to bounce around the walls and back at her even brassier than usual. “I was wondering about the firewood this year.” He pinched his lips tight. “Thou heard the requirements last week.” She took a deep shaky breath. “Yes, but in the past the wood has always been provided for my sisters and me." "In the year following your father’s death, the wood was provided by the Friends in gratitude for the traveling missionary work your Father did. In recent years, it was provided by your grandfather. Now you will have to 31

Donna Hechler Porter provide it yourselves.” “But we do not have the means. My mother has some work pending, but she has not been paid yet.” He leaned over the desk. “I am sorry to hear that, but the board will make no exceptions.” Annie opened her mouth to beg for more time, but his waving hand cut her off. “No more, child. You have till the beginning of the month like everyone else.” He headed out the back door before she could reply. She forced her feet down the center of the empty room and outside. Katie was the only one waiting “Where’s Martha? And Rebecca?” she asked. “Martha ran ahead saying she was going to check on Blossom. No amount of talking can make her understand ‘tis not time for the calf to be born.” “And Rebecca?” “She thought it best to go with her. We don’t need Blossom getting out again. What did Schoolmaster say?” Annie gripped the books to her chest. “We have to provide wood like everyone else.” Katie gasped. “No exceptions are given anymore.” Annie started walking towards home. She was disappointed to see the boys had left. She had been trying to apologize to David for what she said last week, but so far he had avoided her. “What will we do? Tenth Month is less than a week away.” Katie moaned. “Does thee think Uncle James could help?” “You heard Mama. Uncle James has helped enough. She does not wish to burden him any longer.” Annie reached the narrow bridge to see Jackson and David on the other side, the sun beaming upon their heads, their voices rising as David waved a palm-sized silver box in his cousin’s face. Annie reached the other side of Matadequin Creek as Jackson swiped the box from David’s hand. Several playing cards fluttered out like butterflies and landed in the dirt between the boys’ feet. Jackson threw his arms wide. “I told thee that gambling is a sin.” David’s face tightened like a puckered seam. Jackson rounded his eyes, clutched at his chest, and stumbled backwards a 32

Keeping Secrets step. “After all the trouble you were in last year. Is there no end to the shame?” For an entire minute, as leaves of red, gold and brown floated to the ground, as the stream gurgled softly behind them like a newborn babe, the only thing that moved was a twitching muscle between David’s mouth and eye. Then, he turned from them and trudged down the road. “I am sorry, ladies, that you saw these.” Jackson bent to the ground and gathered the cards. He stood to his feet and shoved them back into the case. “Allow me to walk you home as always.” The fact that he lived on the other side of the creek back towards the school, or the fact he never walked them home, didn’t seem to matter. Annie sprinted forward, leaving Katie to deal with the trickster. “Wait.” She reached for David’s arm. “Why would you play cards with Jackson?” He jerked his arm from her grasp. “What does it matter to you?” “I hate to see you walk into that kind of trouble again.” He halted. “I am not getting into that kind of trouble again.”. “What about racing?” “Racing?” His eyes drilled her. “Jackson was talking the other day about you two racing your horses. He said he was going to win.” She watched David’s eyes slice into his cousin. “I don’t want you to get kicked out of school again.” “I wasn’t kicked out last time.” “I know how much you want to take the test.” “The test?” He smirked. “I thought you wanted to win.” “I do. But that doesn’t mean I want you to get kicked out.” “For the last time, I wasn’t kicked out!” “You didn’t finish the year.” “Because I chose to stay home.” “Jackson said-“ “Forget Jackson!” Jackson let loose a deep belly laugh and pointed a finger in their direction. David clenched his fists, firmed up his jaw, and started towards him. “Don’t bother.” Annie reached for his arm. He jolted backwards as if she had lit him on fire. “Do you always get in everyone’s business?” They rounded the last bend before her house to see a sleek new carriage at the end of the McKechnie drive. By now, the others had caught up. 33

Donna Hechler Porter David’s low whistle tickled her ears. “He certainly knows how to spend money.” Lawrence Langdon’s oversized head swiveled towards them. He set his hefty elbows on his knees, slacking the leather reins and frowning deeply. “Was that the boy on the right?” David stepped in front of her. “It was.” Jackson threw his arm around David’s shoulders. “Never mind him, Brother Lawrence.” David shoved his cousin aside. Jackson greatly exaggerated the sideways stumble. The pack of cards fell at David’s feet. The sun glinted off the shiny case as a few of the cards slipped out. Jackson kicked the box behind his cousin. “Gambling is a sin,” the older man said. “Yes, yes, uh, Brother Lawrence,” Jackson said. “We know. We . . . were . . . taking them home to burn them. I . . . found them on the road.” He turned around, picked up the box, and handed it to David. Lawrence turned to Annie. She shrank from the man’s glare, wanting to give her feet wings and finding she had no feeling in them to do so. Why was he here? She had kept her promise, even though it had caused her a great deal of anguish to keep something so important from her mother. “The friendly one,” he said. “Was that Brother Andrew Cayle’s son?” Annie nodded. “Does the other boy belong to Brother Amon?” Another nod. It was all she could manage. “Looks just like his Pa. Acts like him, too. Haughty. And disrespectful. Do you often walk with him?” “To school and back. They come past our house.” “Amon Cayle is not known for being a good Friend. I would not associate with them. They could easily lead thee astray from the Light.” David’s head swiveled around, the resentment churning beneath the drawn eyebrows. “Annie,” her uncle said. “I would like a word with thee.” Her stomach roiled, dashing tidal waves into her throat. “I have chores to do. Mama is expecting me.” Billy straightened his hat. “Do we have to do this? I thought we were going to eat lunch. That sister of ours didn’t offer us anything good.” Uncle Law’s portly, swollen hand patted the tufted leather cushion. “’Twill only take a moment. Now hurry up.” 34

Keeping Secrets The last thing she wanted to do was be close to the man again. Her shoulders still burned from the talon-like grip that had held her still the last time she saw him at Langdonwycke. “Get up here, or I’ll have to tell your mother about your disrespect.” She swallowed hard. Maybe, since she had kept her promise, he would agree to help them with the firewood. Ignoring the stares of the others, she hoisted her foot to the hanging ladder and climbed. She heaved herself into the seat beside her uncle. There was so little room left she had to hang on to the rail to keep from falling over the side. She turned from David’s vexing stare as Lawrence drove the carriage far enough away the others couldn’t hear. “I haven’t told Mama that I know you changed the will,” she whispered. “Good girl,” he said softly. “I knew you would see it my way.” “So I was wondering, since ‘tis time for wood to be given to the school, if you might help us out." “Your mother needs to be able to handle those kinds of things." "We can't this year." Her uncle's eyes lifted innocently. "I’m sorry, Annie. She needs to find a way." “First, you changed the will,” she said. “Then, my mother’s savings went missing.” She could feel the anger taking hold. “Now you won’t help with the firewood?” “Keep your voice down.” “You are trying to make things harder on us. Why?" His fingers gripped her arm and squeezed. Annie quailed from the pain. She jerked to the side, causing her back to bend over the side rail. Behind her, Katie gasped. Even David took a step forward. She had to fight to pull herself back up. She was forced into quiet submission. Billy sat up and pushed his hat back on his head, watching them intently. Lawrence, aware of the stares, loosened his tight grip. “I have told your mother I do not want her working for Amon Cayle.” “Why ever not?” The man shot a hateful glance in David’s direction. “He is a disorderly walker. Now convince your mother to quit the job.” “How can I do that?” "You are a smart girl, Annie.” He winked. “You can come up with something. If not, I will see that you girls are split up for sure and placed in service.” 35

Donna Hechler Porter The effort to find a full breath was terrifying. Had her bought silence been worthless? Would he constantly be coming at her for more favors? And why the animosity towards Brother Amon? “And what if I tell what I know about the will?” she said. Her uncle leaned forward, his hot breath burning her ear. “I can leave marks never seen by the human eye.” The fear gnarled through her limbs. She placed one wobbly foot on the hanging step ladder, but in her haste to get away she couldn’t find a footing for the other. Her dangling shoe caught on her petticoat. She tumbled to the ground with a hard jolt to her spine. Billy let loose an obnoxious laugh. Lawrence slapped the back of his hand against his brother’s chest in reprimand before flicking the reins with a snap and driving towards the center of the road. David had to jump to one side. Annie gulped in huge quantities of air both for her nerves and the pain to her backside. He had said to keep silent about the will, and she had done so even though that meant lying to her mother. She had already spent many a sleepless night begging God to forgive her for such a dreadful sin. But now, to try and get her mother to quit her job with Amon Cayle? And the cryptic message? She had no idea what it meant but she was certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the intentions were evil. Jackson held out his hand. She took advantage of his kindness, then violently swept the dirt free of her tan skirt. If only uncle were as easily gotten rid. “Did thee ask him about the firewood?” Katie handed Annie her mobcap. “He won’t help.” “The wretch!” Jackson puffed out his chest. “I thought for a minute he was going to get rough with you, and I was going to have to step in.” “Jackson Cayle.” Her hands flew to her hips. “What could thee have done? He is ten times bigger than you.” “I don’t care. I am not going to stand by and watch someone as sweet as you get hurt.” All she could do was stare. He had done nothing for weeks but tease her mercilessly. Now, he was trying to be gallant. “Me and Davy, we would have done something.” “I think,” David said, flinging her a dark, distasteful glare as one foot stepped back, “that Sister Annie has proven she is quite able to take care of herself.” 36

Four Well, that didn’t go well. Amon couldn’t keep the grin of satisfaction from his face either. He had been surprised Lawrence Langdon had the gall to show up at Cayle Farms. He looked up to see David coming down the drive alone. The boy stopped, wedged his books between his knees, then set his tricorn to the ground. Quickly, he re-tied the dark, unruly hair, grabbed the books, then brushed a swath of dirt from his beige pants. Was Langdon’s slight about David dabbling in sinful ways on the way home from school true? Was it gambling? Fighting? It couldn’t be horseracing, not this afternoon anyhow. “What did he want?” David turned to watch the carriage lurch up the drive to Langdon’s End. “To find out if I was showing up at the next monthly meeting to discuss my part in Elizabeth’s marriage.” David tossed his schoolbooks to the ground and reached for the laggy end of the fence pole. Together, father and son hoisted it onto the forked support. “What did thee tell him?” David asked. “That I would think about it.” “But I can’t take the test if thee does not make restitution.” “I am going.” Amon moved on to the next section. “But my appearance is no concern of his.” They lifted the next section into place. “I know why you don’t like the man. He was really rude to Annie, and she’s his niece.” So Lawrence had seen him. “Annie McKechnie?” A skirmish of rage, confusion, and worry tore across the boy’s face. Amon couldn’t imagine what had caused that multitude of emotions. He leaned his elbow onto the fence and pressed forward with his next question. “How was school today?” “It was school.” That didn’t tell him much. “John said you got detained by Jackson.” 37

Donna Hechler Porter “Yea.” “You seem a bit worn.” David’s glance was caustic. “You mean I look like I got into a fight.” “Maybe.” Nothing more. Amon drew in a deep breath in order to bolster his flagging patience. “If I find out you have been doing any gambling, card playing, or horseracing, you will be pulled from that test and there will be no going to school next year. You’ll stay home till you can make better decisions.” David stood rooted to the ground. “Boys are going to get into fights. I expect you to defend yourself and win.” “’Tis not what the Friends teach.” “No. But it is what I teach. However, horseracing puts a good animal in danger, and gambling is a terrible use of one’s monetary resources. It shows a lack of gratitude for what God has given you that you have to risk losing it in order to gain more than the Good Lord thinks you need.” The boy threw his hands to his hips. “I’ve heard all this before.” “And if Jackson’s the problem--” “The only problem I have with Jackson is that he gets to do anything he wants.” “Then I will be willing to bet his father doesn’t know what he’s doing. Andrew disapproves of such vices even more than me.” “Uncle Andrew knows. He is just afraid to do anything about it.” Amon pushed himself off the fence. “Well, that is where we are different, because I will do something.” He could have sworn smoke was going to puff out the boy’s ears. “Now, if you want me to speak to Andrew about Jackson-” “No. That just makes things worse.” He grabbed the books. “Why is everyone in my business? Geesh! First, Annie. Now, you!” He stalked off. All Amon could do was stare. Annie McKechnie? Why had he mentioned her? “What’s he mad about?” Ruth said, the large basket, heavy with vegetables, swinging alongside her. “Not sure.” Was it Mary’s daughter? Was he playing cards or gambling and he was angry that Amon nearly caught him? Or was it Jackson? “But I sure wish Abigail were here right now.” “If’n his Mama was here, I doubt he’d be acting this way. He doesn’t have 38

Keeping Secrets a woman to please, so he’s a bit wild.” She gave one swift pull to Amon’s ear, then patted his cheek. “When he finds a gal he doesn’t want to disappoint, he’ll get the front end before the back.” With a twirl, she whisked towards the bachelor’s quarters. Finding a gal was fine. Finding one that softened the worst sides of David’s temper was even better. As long as she wasn’t Mary McKechnie’s daughter. Amon had no intention of being yoked with that woman for any reason at all. Hell would freeze over first.  Annie and Katie arrived home after their encounter with Uncle Lawrence to find Gran uncharacteristically sullen. Sarah had obviously been crying and looked ready to burst into tears again. As for Mama, she had gone to bed with a headache. And Blossom was missing again. After a half hour of searching, Annie found her heading towards the bog. Martha had not reinforced the gate that morning before school. However, none of the girls said a word. It was bad enough they had to mention the firewood at supper. That evening, however, it was obvious Mama had been crying and quite hard. It didn’t take long to learn why. “I will not be doing Brother Amon’s work,” she said. “Your Uncle Lawrence doesn’t think it is a good idea, and since he is your guardian I must respect his wishes.” None of the girls mentioned the wood. Not even Martha. One by one they filed into the bedroom that night. Annie, stepping in last, closed the door. It was the only barrier between their room and Mama’s. She slipped alongside the footboard of the bed Sarah and Rebecca shared on the far left and headed for the window. She leaned her elbows on the wide blue sill to let the nighttime moisture rush against her skin. This milder weather was greatly preferred to the scorching Virginia summer. Behind her the girls shuffled about the room, undressing to their chemises. In the sweeping branches of the front elm, gold eyes swam in the dark night like tiny moons. Annie could just make out the masked eyes and ringed tails of two baby coons. Beyond and past the road, the shadows from the waxing moon tiptoed towards the vacant slave cabins, behind, around, through and in. Like the two baby boys in the family cemetery beyond the 39

Donna Hechler Porter house, she had never known the slaves who lived there. Papa had sent them away before she was ever born. With a whist and a cool wind, Sarah pulled the bedcovers back and crawled in, her back against the headboard, the quilt around her legs, her face troubled. “I have never seen Uncle Law so hateful. I just couldn’t believe it.” Annie could. Rebecca handed Annie a wooden hair brush and turned around. With long sweeps, Annie brushed her sister’s golden red tresses, working out a tangle here, a knot there, while Katie’s bare feet spanked lightly against the wooden floor. Her chemise twirled behind at every turn of her pace. In the corner on her own bed Martha sat, yanking the brush through the tangles in her own hair. “Would you like me to help when I’m done with Rebecca?” Annie asked her. “No. I can do it myself.” The next downward sweep nearly unhinged the child’s head from her shoulders. Annie stifled a chuckle. Her little sister hadn’t even relieved herself of the day’s vest and skirt. “Sisters,” Katie whispered, “what are we going to do about the wood?” Sarah sighed. “I don’t know what would happen if Mama knew she now had to provide the wood. We just can’t tell her.” “Mama needs to be told,” Martha cried. She threw the brush to the quilt at her feet and jumped from the bed, her chin forward, her arms back. “’Tis a sin to keep secrets.” She headed for the door. Annie was the quickest. She tossed the brush to the bed and sprinted forward, shoving her hand against the door just as Martha touched the knob. Knowing what was coming next, she clapped her palm over the girl’s mouth. The scream died in her fingers. She pulled her sister’s shoulders against her own chest and hauled her back to the bed, wedging her tighter than a maple tree spicket between her knees. There had only and ever been one way to control Martha. Mama had forbidden the girls to speak of it, but Annie was so desperate she pressed the hairy knot into Martha’s head with her palm, then let the words fly into the child’s ear. “If you are not quiet, the bog monster will come take thee away.” The child froze. Annie could well imagine her blue eyes widening with fright. Mary had invented the bog monster years ago when the girls were little to keep them away from the area. The ghost in the slave cabins was scary, but the monster in the bog was horrifying. They had been forbidden, 40

Keeping Secrets however, to torture Martha with it. Annie let Martha pull her hand off her mouth. “The bog monster?” The fear crawled through her sister’s voice. “’Tis not true. Sarah, make her stop.” Annie waited. Sarah had such a tender conscience that she oftentimes wouldn’t participate in their struggles against Martha. A war played across her older sister’s face. Then, she firmed up her jaw. “’Tis true what they speak, Martha.” The child’s face pinched tight. “No crying, Martha McKechnie.” Annie shook her hard. “The bog monster will get thee for sure.” Martha’s mouth froze in a silent cry. She slipped herself from Annie’s grasp and skulked to her bed, crawling under the covers and not even worrying with the nappy hair or her clothes. She turned to the wall. Later that night, Katie rolled towards Annie. She crooked one arm beneath her head and reached for Annie’s shoulder with the other. “’Twas mean,” Katie whispered. “I feel kind of bad.” “Me, too.” Annie sighed. “But I did not know what else to do.” “If Mama finds out, we’ll be in big trouble.” “We cannot have Martha telling Mama about things before we have a chance to work it out ourselves. We’ll just have to risk it.” “I pray ‘tis not a risk we come to regret.” Annie prayed not either.   Mary turned into the dirt drive of Cayle Farms, Amon’s imposing two story house rising to her left. Tepees of plumb beans, golden corn and squash, and patchwork squares of vegetables filled the massive kitchen garden between the house and the drive. Walking further, it appeared the garden lay on both sides of an empty space where once stood the kitchen. Nothing but a charred and broken chimney remained. Mary passed the area quickly, unwilling to dwell on the death of her once dear friend. To her right neat, determined rows of tobacco stretched towards the sky behind a long, timbered zigzag fence which seemed to run to the end of the lane and then stop as the dirt drive turned to the left right before the creek. Two tobacco sheds, less than a quarter of a mile apart, rose behind the fence and above the ripening crop, one with new shingles, the other older 41

Donna Hechler Porter and worn. A raggedy straw hat bobbed between the two sheds. A few more steps and the shady face lifted. Amon raised his hand and smiled, then picked up his pace. Mary reached for the fence to steady her shaking. How was she ever going to do this? He cleared the end of the row and wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his white linen shirt. “I’ll walk to the end.” He pointed towards the creek. “We’ll go to the house and talk.” After a few steps he stopped, realized she wasn’t coming, and turned to face her. His friendly smile flattened. “What is it?” “I am terribly sorry, but I cannot do the work.” She spun away from him and had gone several feet back up the drive when her arm was grabbed and she was pulled to a halt. She shuffled her feet to keep from crashing into the rails between them. “Why not?” he asked. “I don’t do business with outsiders.” He let go of her arm as if he had been stung. “I’m not an outsider.” “I cannot do business with wayward Friends either.” “Oh.” He drew the word out. “’Tis strange. I don’t feel lost.” She reddened. “Sister Mary, do you know what it cost me, personally, to come ask you to do them?” Her throat tightened. What it cost him? Did he ever think of the humiliation it had cost her to listen to him request her to be a seamstress for his family? Every time I see thee, it costs a part of me. “’Tis just a job. Thee can find someone else to do it.” The deep furrow next to the man’s mouth twitched. He yanked the hat from his head, his fingers bending the straw to his will, the crunch grating into her ears. “I will start cutting tobacco next week. I have to start work on the kitchen soon. I do not have time to find another seamstress. Surely we can work out something.” “I don’t think so.” “I am seeking restitution. It will be handled at the next monthly meeting.” “Is your daughter?” “No, she is not.” His chiseled chin jut forward. “If you won’t work for her, will you at least do the work for the rest of us?” 42

Keeping Secrets “No. I think it would be best if you found someone else.” “I don’t have time.” “Abigail’s been gone for almost a year. You are the one who hasn’t hired a seamstress.” “I’ve been busy.” “’Tis not busy. ‘Tis neglectful.” “You can talk to me about neglect when your wife dies.” Mary’s eyes widened. “I mean husband,” he quipped. It took him a minute to realize his mistake. Then, his face reddened. He shot her a shy smile. Their eyes locked, sending her heart into her throat. “Please, Mary. I need a seamstress, and I know thee needs the work.” He had dropped the formal address of Sister. That, combined with the smile, was shattering. She lowered her gaze. The dark curly chest hair waved at her from between the folds of the loosened cravat. That wasn’t any better. She took in a deep breath to still her nerves. “I would very much like to, but I just cannot.” She spun around before he could launch another protest. She would have done almost anything at that moment to see that smile on a regular basis. But, she couldn’t lose her girls. It should have been of little consequence other than the loss of the money. It was just a job she couldn’t do. Amon Cayle was simply an employer she couldn’t work for. So why did she feel as if a piece of her heart had been cut out?  Amon, just like a child, viciously kicked the fencing. The log rail flew from its pin and landed into the dirt with a dull thud. Not satisfied, he swung the straw hat with all his might against the railing. Of all the things for her to do. He knew she needed the work. Why would she back out? It didn’t make any sense, and she certainly hadn’t come up with a good explanation. All that pandering about not working for outsiders was, well, just that – pandering. What was he going to do now? He started cutting the south field this morning. He would start on these fields tomorrow or the day after. The kitchen was still waiting to be rebuilt. The corn was going to need to be harvested in another month. The apples were ready to harvest now. Ruth was going to need help soon getting the last of the fall crops in and ready for storage. 43

Donna Hechler Porter When could he possibly get around to hiring anyone else? Elizabeth had outlined a list of what she wanted. The servants had all been told they would get double clothing since Amon had not been able to provide them any last year in the wake of Abigail’s death. For just a minute, when he had twisted his words about his wife and husband, when they had laughed, she had seemed like the old Mary. But then she had transformed into this new creature. Harsh. Unforgiving. Unbending. He should have known better than to ask her to do any work for him. After all, if she had walked out all those years ago after having professed her undying love for him, what kind of loyalty could he have expected towards something far less important now? Amon tromped down the outside steps of the Matadequin Creek Friends Meeting House, shoved his hat on his head, and made his way to his riding carriage. A few men tried to stop and engage him in conversation, but he lifted his hat, didn’t bother with a smile, and trudged onward. After the fiasco he had just witnessed, how could they expect him to be anything but brusque? He climbed into the carriage and took hold of the reins. James had hardly sat down when Amon clacked King forward, throwing the man backwards with a grunt into the seat. The humiliation of presenting an apology letter when he really wasn’t that sorry was bad enough. To have Lawrence Langdon question his parenting skills was galling. When the man had the gall to stand aside on the issue, Amon almost let his tongue fly. The only thing that kept him quiet was James’ hand on his arm and the words he does this all the time whispered in his ear. And then, the conversation turned to Mary. The deaths of her father and husband has created a greater burden on her mental state than we were aware. Lawrence’s words unnerved Amon. Mary? Daft? Not a chance. I understand she has a rather large order that perhaps she could be encouraged to reconsider. He acted as surprised as the rest of them, even though he was seething inside. The elders decided to send one more collection to help, and despite Samuel’s wish, and to Lawrence’s great regret, she was to be encouraged to 44

Keeping Secrets work for outsiders. “What has thee in such a dither?” James asked. “You volunteered me without asking.” “We did come together, and we are going back the same way.” “We can change that.” James winced. “I know Mary’s not your favorite person, but I have to have someone go with me. You were the logical choice.” Amon sighed and stretched his neck first one way, then the other, to work out the kinks. “Really, Amon, it wasn’t anything more than that.” James frowned. “I don’t know why she refuses to marry. It would make things so much easier.” Amon had heard of Mary’s rejections. They were beginning to pile up like a heap of cow dung. None had been zealous Friends, but all had been Godfearing and faithful. With all those girls and no estate to speak of, except for that land, he had not understood why she had turned them down either. But then, it was probably their good fortune she had. “Since the elders have given their permission for her to work for outsiders, I am going to have to convince her to do so. Can you help me?” His hand flew up. “I am only here because two members are required to deliver money.” “Fine.” James muttered. Amon reined King towards Matadequin Creek. “Was Lawrence serious about taking the girls away?” Even she didn’t deserve that. “Yep. He’s hurting Mary instead of helping her. He’s got some reason for it, I just can’t figure out what it is.” “Why do you never fight him? You are a lawyer and a good one.” “He’s had a noose tightened around my neck all these years.” “What could he possibly have on thee?” James paused a long moment. “She was a former client. Agathy and I had only been married a few months.” Amon jerked the reins to the left, stopping the carriage alongside the road, the brown leaves crunching beneath the wheels. Above, a trio of squirrels, unbothered by the shade’s deep chill, tittered at them from the branches of a skinny white oak sapling. He glanced over his shoulder to see they were far enough ahead no one was in sight. Beside him, his brother-inlaw’s haunted face had reddened from his neck all the way to the blonde roots of his hair. “You had an affair?” Amon whispered. 45

Donna Hechler Porter “One night. I was drunk. I still think Law planted her there. If he didn’t he still found out about it and used the information to his advantage.” He crossed his arms and slipped down into the seat. “Law did everything in his power before Agathy and I ever married to break us up. Afterwards, he just held my sin over my head so he could keep me in line.” “’Tis a hard way to live.” “You have no idea. Every time I try to step in and help Mary he reminds me of what he could tell Agathy.” “And now?” “’Tis just become a lie I’ve kept for so long I don’t know any other way to live. I have spent my whole life choosing between my sister or my wife.” He turned his anguished eyes towards Amon. “God help me, Amon, I love Mary, but Agathy’s my heart and soul.” King whinnied and tread sideways. Amon flicked the reins and guided the horse back into the lane.

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Five Mary slung the wooden slats to the top of the roof and flattened her left hand to the rotten, wooden shingles to catch her balance. Her heart blocked her throat. “Daughter,” Huldah said. “Thee needs to get James to come do it. Or one of his people.” “I never bother James with things I can do myself.” She reached for the hammer dangling from the rope at her waist. Leaning her torso into the ladder rung, she untied the knot. Her mother huffed off, murmuring about her daughter being as stubborn as her sons. Just that morning, Mary had explained to her again that because she had no man in the house she had to do things for herself. She hadn’t cried for James the last three years to run over here every time she needed help, and she wasn’t about to start now. It appeared to her, from her inspection of the roof last week, that Samuel had not placed the shingles tightly over one another. He had also used pine which decayed too easily. Now, armed with oak slats in exchange for some mending, she set to work removing the old ones along the edge. For half an hour she ripped, hurling the damaged ones to the ground. She was on the last row when she heard a cry from below. “Hey! Are you trying to kill me?” James had removed his hat and was rubbing his head. Amon, however, was staring at her exposed legs. Her face lit on fire. She had pulled her skirts up and tucked them into her waistband. Everything from her knees down could be thoroughly examined, and a lot more, if Amon could see up the umbrella made by the skirt. Mary threw the hammer to the roof, then started yanking her skirts and petticoats from their hold. Her stomach melted with her heart as she swayed from the imbalance. Someone reached for the ladder and steadied it. “Sis, get your backside down here before thee falls.” “I was fine until you two showed up.” 47

Donna Hechler Porter Below, James held onto the ladder while Amon grinned, making her shame that much worse. Her right hand pulled the skirt upwards enough to clear her feet, and the left gripped the rungs as she descended. She wasn’t even at the bottom when James grabbed her waist and set her to the ground with a jolt. “Why in the world didn’t thee tell me the roof needed repairing?” “Because I can do it myself. I have before.” “Before?” He groaned and hit his palm against his forehead. “Would it do me any good to tell you not to from now on?” Mary shook her head. She hated that he worried so much, but she was a big girl. With all the handouts she took from people, she had to do the things she could in order to preserve some sense of self-worth. “Why are you here anyway?” she asked. “And with him?” “The men’s meeting took up another collection.” Mary stared at the brown leather pouch he held in his palm. “I’ll have nothing to do with any collection Law takes up.” “’Twas not Law’s idea,” Amon said from halfway up the ladder. “It was James’.” What in the world was he doing up there? “Sis, I figured since Pa’s death, thee could use the extra cash.” She turned back to her brother. “Especially since my savings and birthright were stolen.” James’ face colored deeply. Mary immediately regretted the words. After all, he wasn’t to blame. “Mary,” Amon said from above. “Lawrence is pushing that this be the last collection, and the men want you to support yourself.” “What do they think I am trying to do?” “Frankly, it would look as if you were trying harder if you didn’t turn down work.” “The only work I ever turned down was yours, and for very good reasons.” “That is a matter of opinion.” Mary opened her mouth to tell the man to get down when James reached for her arm. “The elders want you to start working for outsiders. They know you turned down a rather large order. They were not pleased.” “And what did Law say?” “Law,” Amon winked, “was not happy.” How could the man goad her one minute, then take pleasure in her 48

Keeping Secrets brother’s slight the next? “But James,” she said, “Law has threatened to take away the girls if I work for outsiders. Those men can do nothing to help me when that happens.” “But Law admitted who you work for was an expressed wish from Samuel and was not written in the will.” “You know how he is, James. He will find some way to take them.” Her brother tossed a quick glance at Amon, then turned back to her. “We all do business with outsiders. We have to. The men recognize that you have a need to provide for your family. They are willing to overlook Samuel’s wish, and I don’t think Law would dare take the girls away when you are trying to do as the elders asked. He doesn’t want to be outside the group.” Another glance towards the roof. Before Mary could see what had his interest, he reached for her shoulders and turned her away from the house. Behind her she could hear the swift tap-tap of the hammer. If she didn’t get the man down, he would have the whole thing done. “Right now, you need to be more worried the men’s meeting might do something to take the girls away if you don’t provide for them.” Amon was instantly forgotten. Even the sounds of the hammer faded. “The Friends will take away my girls?” “They could.” Mary felt her limbs weaken. It had happened before. If Mary had been dead, it would be a blessed solution. But she was here, and she and the girls needed each other. “I cannot speak for everyone,” Amon said from the ladder, “but as for myself, I wouldn’t care how thee was supporting the girls as long as it wasn’t immoral.” The fire, which had been kindled merely at his appearance, then stoked as he had gone up her ladder to her roof, now shot through her body. She wished with all her might she could jerk the ladder from under his feet and send his holier-than-thou backside tumbling into the dirt. The words scraped through her teeth. “I do not remember thee being around the past twenty years to express an opinion.” The man’s face darkened. “And whose fault was that?” “And who asked you to help? Get down from my ladder.” Amon climbed down and slammed into the dirt at her feet, towering above her, the hammer still dangling in his hand. She thought he had half a mind to swing it at her. 49

Donna Hechler Porter “Amon,” James said. “Leave us alone for a few minutes.” The man gripped the rusty head of the hammer and held out the handle. Once she had taken it, he turned to the ladder and pulled it away from the roof. “’Tis not finished,” she said. “Yep, it is.” She couldn’t believe it. “How did thee do it so fast? Was it done right?” “I assure thee, Sister Mary, that I know how to repair a roof. Now, where does this go?” “In the barn,” she murmured. It was only because of James she said anything at all. Amon carried the ladder as easily as if it were a twig. “He is just trying to help,” James said. “I didn’t ask for help.” “Not with the roof,” he said, his agitation keen. “With helping thee look at things differently.” “I don’t want his help for that either.” He grabbed her shoulders, the pouch of money in his grip grinding into the sleeve of her dress. “You have to start working. I don’t care who you sew for. I don’t care what work you do, but start generating income.” “And what about Law?” “I promise I will not let him take the girls away from you.” “No matter what?” His arms fell to his sides and his face paled. “No matter what.” She looked up to see Amon leaving the barn and heading towards the carriage. “Sis. Would thee consider asking Amon for the job back?” “Please, don’t ask me to do that.” He sighed. “I suppose with your history that’s fair enough.” “But I promise you I won’t turn down the next large order, no matter where it comes from.” James pressed the bag into her palm. “Please use it for something the girls need, but be careful with it. There won’t likely be another one after this.” She gripped the bag as James left to join Amon at the carriage. Up to this point, she had relied on Papa’s help. He hadn’t been there so much while Samuel was alive, but after her husband’s death he had been a constant source of help. Her mother, too, had gone out of her way to make up for her failed marriage. But, she didn’t have Papa any longer. She did have James. She did have 50

Keeping Secrets herself. And she would do whatever was necessary to keep her family together. If that meant taking her brother’s advice and finding work outside the Friends, then she would do it. As long as the job wasn’t for Amon Cayle.   Amon clacked King forward before James was really settled, causing his back to slam against the seat for a second time that day. “No offense, Amon, but I think next time I’ll do the driving.” Amon made no comment as he turned into the lane leading towards Cayle Farms and Langdon’s End. The sight of the woman’s exposed legs had taken his breath clean away. He had crawled up the ladder to finish the job more to clear his brain than for any other reason. “Thanks for finishing the roof. I don’t know what she was thinking.” Again, Amon made no comment, even though there was a lot he could say. “I noticed,” James continued, “you didn’t offer her the job back. “Nope.” “Can I at least ask a favor?” “You are going to anyway.” “Don’t find anyone just yet to replace her. Wait and see if she changes her mind.” “What?” The idea gave him the shivers. “I don’t want her changing her mind. I’ll find someone easier to work with.” “Please, Amon.” “Elizabeth needs the dresses, and everyone needs clothes. I’ve been so busy with tobacco the past few weeks I haven’t had a chance to deal with it.” “Just a few days. Two weeks at the most.” He groaned. “First a few days. Now two weeks?” “After that, I understand. Please, as a favor to me.” Amon couldn’t believe it. Two weeks? But in all likelihood, it would take him that long to find somebody anyhow. “Only two weeks,” he said. “No longer.” Amon pulled King’s reigns to take the left hand curve in the road. “She was too sheltered growing up,” James said. “And Pa didn’t help, 51

Donna Hechler Porter telling her God would always provide if she would stay true to the Faith, then filling in the gap as the provider.” “He’s gone and Law isn’t going to extend the charity, is that it?” “Precisely.” “By sheltering her, they kept her from learning to make decisions.” James mulled that over a moment. “Is that what happened to the two of you?” “Sort of. Her father said she couldn’t marry me. That was that.” It wasn’t quite that uncomplicated, but almost. The only thing Amon regretted was letting her drag him through the ordeal of believing for even a fraction of a second that she loved him enough to defy her father to be with him. “But that’s just it, by not deciding she still decided. So you can’t use the argument she can’t make decisions.” Leave it to a lawyer to put it like that. “Alright, then she doesn’t make decisions on her own. She chooses to defer to someone else.” “’Tis true. Her whole life has been like that. First, Papa and Mama. Then Samuel, although,” he said, turning a sympathetic stare into Amon’s face, “I think a lot of that was a decision to do as Samuel bade because to not do it was worse for her and the girls. Samuel just made life hard.” Amon gave the reins a hard right and drove the carriage up the lane of Langdon’s End. Grape and berry vines hung from wooden trestles on his right, while a pair of slaves raked leaves in the front yard to his left. At the house, the six dormer windows along the roofline blinked shyly in the afternoon sun. James said no more, and Amon didn’t ask for details. He didn’t want to hear about Mary’s life with Samuel. He knew she hadn’t had an easy time of it. The man had some eccentricities to say the least. It appeared Mary had weathered them as best she could, but rumors had still circulated far and wide about the McKechnies. But he couldn’t say she hadn’t asked for it. When she had chosen Samuel over him, she had torn Amon’s young heart out, then by all accounts had danced with the devil until the devil finally died. As far as he was concerned, she got everything she deserved.  “Sister Anne McKechnie.” Schoolmaster Cayle peered over his specta52

Keeping Secrets cles. “’Tis the middle of tenth month. Where is your wood?” Annie’s stomach flipped. “Like I said before, my mother--” “Spare me the details.” The heat rushed to her face. “Thou hast to bring wood like everyone else.” He held up a long bony finger. “It needs to be here by the first of Eleventh Month, or you and your sisters will be sent to the back of the room.” She muttered a “yes” then spun around, her eyes catching the long table against the back wall next to the window. It was the farthest point from the fireplace. The students assigned to sit there didn’t have the luxury of rotating their seating to access the warmth at some point during the day. She scurried past it and outside, wrapping the scarf to shield her neck from the biting wet fog. “What did he want?” asked Katie. Rebecca gripped her arm. “Has he changed his mind about letting you take the test?” Annie noticed David Cayle standing within ear shot. “No.” She looked at him. “He didn’t mention the test.” She couldn’t tell from his face how he felt about that remark. He turned back to the group of boys. She repeated what Schoolmaster Cayle had told her, then started towards home, her pace slow, her worries mounting. “Mama needs to be told,” Rebecca said. “I agree.” Katie pointed upwards. “And does thee see that sky? Winter is coming on fast. Widow Ridley told Sarah that Eleventh Month would be particularly harsh this year.” Annie picked up her pace, hoping to drive some heat into her dampened cheeks. “Widow Ridley can’t predict the future.” Katie limped to catch up. “Even so, the rainy season comes after winter. That can be worse than the cold.” Rebecca tugged her arm. “’Tis not fair for us to all sit in the cold if there’s something she can do about it.” Katie reached for her other arm and jerked her to a stop. “And Uncle James would be upset if he knew we were sitting in the cold all year and we had not asked him to help.” “Fine,” Annie said, feeling overwhelmed. “But can we at least not mention the test?” The girls agreed. Annie fell behind them, for once feeling left out. It was 53

Donna Hechler Porter not often they went against her. She reached the lane to the house to see Katie and Rebecca running around the corral and the barn. Blossom! Annie pumped her feet up the hill, Martha’s cries piercing her ears. At the corral the gate stood wide open, the rock at least several inches to the right. “Martha,” she said, “did you come back this morning?” “I was w-w-worried about the bog monster,” she wailed. “He comes out in the fog.” Annie grabbed the child’s shoulders. “The rock is supposed to be in front of the gate.” Martha shook her head, her pigtails, first one and then the other, slapping her face. “But I couldn’t move it back! ‘Twas too heavy!” “Do you realize what you’ve done?” “Let her go.” Rebecca pried Annie’s fingers from the girl. “We need to start looking.” “I don’t want to go looking,” Martha whined, her arms crossed, her feet shifting. “Thee will look,” Katie said flatly. “‘Tis your fault to begin with.” They split up. Katie and Martha headed towards the creek behind the house. Annie and Rebecca went the opposite direction, crossed the road, passed the slave cabins, then jumped down the embankment towards the empty fields and the bog beyond. Once they entered the trees, they spied the cow in the mud. Blossom looked up and saw them. She tried to stand, but the mud sucked her down. She fell to her side, her brown eyes pleading for help. Annie sank to her knees at the edge of bog, the tears coming fast and hard. Poor, poor Blossom. Rebecca’s tears flowed as freely as her own, her tiny body shaking as it leaned against Annie’s. The firewood suddenly seemed so very unimportant. But Blossom? Annie choked. They would have to tell Mama about the cow. And Mary McKechnie would have a whole new set of worries.   Annie wasn’t sure how long she sat at the end of the porch, the fog seeping through her stockings and chilling her feet as they swung back and forth, circled and counter circled, the rhythm a counter beat to Katie’s rocky gait as she paced across the porch. Behind her, the squeak of Gran rocking 54

Keeping Secrets the chair, combined with Rebecca’s soft tears soaking Sarah’s shoulder, blistered Annie’s ears. It was Martha’s prattling, however, that was near her undoing. The child ran down the drive to the road, up the road a ways, ran back, reported Mama was nowhere to be seen, wailed a bit until Gran told her to stop, then started all over again. Finally, Martha gasped, screamed “Mama,” and hurtled from the porch and across the yard, not even bothering to wait for the woman to come up the drive. Annie thought she was going to be sick. “Blossom is gone!” Martha flung herself into her mother’s arms. The woman stumbled backwards, then turned a frightened stare towards the porch. She pushed the child aside and raced up the hill, stopping just shy of the porch to stare at them all. Annie turned aside. She couldn’t bear the burden of what they were about to do to her. Martha reared her head backwards. “She’s stuck in the bog. Annie let her out this morning. She didn’t put the stone back or secure the latch.” Annie’s heart fell to her feet. She couldn’t believe the girl had actually gone and lied. And she was so good at it, too. More wailing. Annie clenched her teeth. If she told the truth, she knew the child would tell about the bog monster, the firewood, and Annie’s request to take the test. Mary stalked past the girls into the house. When Annie heard the rifle lifted from the pegs above the fireplace, she found her feet and sprinted for the door. “You won’t have to do that, will you?” she asked. Mary’s jaw locked. “I won’t know until I have a look, but I do not want to have to come back.” She slung the powder and shot over her shoulder. “Now show me where she is.”

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On my website under the “Novels” section you can: *purchase both paperback and kindle editions of Keeping Secrets *read my blog (published pretty much weekly) *watch the book trailer for Keeping Secrets On my Goodreads Author Page you can *sign up for my free paperback book giveaway from May 14, 2014 to May 28, 2014. I will be giving away 5 free autographed copies of Keeping Secrets *watch my book trailer for Keeping Secrets * leave reviews, if you enjoy my book *read my blog On my blog page, you can follow me and receive emails when new blogs have been posted. (All of my blogs are the same, they are just found in a variety of places.) “LIKE” me on Facebook for up-to-date information on my books. I do not overwhelm my readers with lots of stuff in their boxes, so don’t hesitate to follow or like me. Please, if you purchase Keeping Secrets and you enjoy reading it, leave a review at Amazon and/or Goodreads.

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