This is an excerpt from Stopping the Traffick: A Christian Response to Sexual Exploitation and Trafficking, edited by Glenn Miles and Christa Foster Crawford, et al. (Regnum 2014) (Used with permission. All rights reserved.) Paperback version available from www.ocms.ac.uk/regnum and Wipf and Stock www.wipfandstock.com. Ebook version available from Amazon and Amazon UK.
CHAPTER 33 WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES OF PARTNERSHIP? HOW DO WE WORK WITH PEOPLE/ORGANIZATIONS WHO MAY SEEM CONTROVERSIAL OR WHO MAY NOT ESPOUSE SIMILAR CHRISTIAN VALUES (WITHOUT COMPROMISING)? Key Issues, by Helen Sworn Words such as partnership and collaboration have become part of our daily language in multiple sectors of our lives. Whether we work in church ministry, non-profit organizations, corporate sector companies, or are involved in our local community activities or school committees; we talk about increasing our impact by working together. Regardless of how easily these words roll off our tongues, however, it is not as easy in practice to develop partnerships with those who we do not naturally align to within our religious, cultural or personal preferences. So, is this chapter a guide to developing partnerships in 10 easy steps? Unfortunately, no. Sorry to disappoint you! The reality is that before we consider any type of partnership, we need to explore ourselves, our own preferences, and if we are honest, our own prejudices. Each of us has prejudices whether we readily admit to them, or push them under the veneer of false acceptance.
Protected by Our Personal Prejudices and Preferences All of us, for example, have a historical and cultural context of growing up, a way in which we developed moral and ethical frameworks for viewing and assessing the world around us. These deep-rooted values become part of who we are, help establish our character, and often affect our on-going behavior. It is always easy to judge another’s prejudices and preferences, but never easy to receive criticism for our own. In the midst of criticism from others, each of us has developed a stream of justifications as to why we believe and behave as we do. This in itself creates division and polarizes us from those we feel challenged by, and by association, can often compromise our reputation and/or character. As we look at the life of Jesus, we cannot help but be shocked by those he chose to associate himself with. It seems that over the last two thousand years, we have tried to sterilize and romanticize stories of the Bible in order to not make them as socially and religiously unacceptable as they actually were. Yet
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Jesus smashed through moral, cultural and religious norms to show that we not only needed him, but that we also need one another. While our own values may be subjective, they make up the essence of our character and behavior. Most of us would much rather stay within our comfort zones than expose ourselves, our prejudices and our preferences by working with others in an environment where they may be challenged.
Spiritual Synergy or Separation Unfortunately, theological differences can be the most divisive, and are often used as an excuse for working alone. It seems we often find ourselves in conflict not just with individuals or organizations that have no Christian affiliation, but also with other Christians and Christian organizations who may differ from us in their theological standpoint. Until trust is established (which takes time and may seem too distant a process), we need to start from a point of practicing respect. Respect does not mean we just give up our beliefs and compromise our faith. Respect simply means we listen without judgment, show regard and consideration without criticism, and recognize opportunities for learning before jumping to our own responses and conclusions. Spiritual diversity does not need to be a ground for argument and criticism (whether verbal or passive) but it is an opportunity for us to model grace. Surely there is nothing compromising about that. Moving Beyond Our Wall of Protection Do we opt out or cooperate with those we disagree with? We get to choose. Being salt and light surely means we have been mandated to be in the world, not of the world, and to model our faith in deeds and practice. But it does not require us to separate ourselves from the world by putting a wall of protection around us. There are, of course, as many different examples of this wall of protection as there are characteristics of personalities. The wall of protection is different for each of us. When facing disagreements and challenges some of us respond in a passive-aggressive manner. On the surface we may be smiling, but underneath there is aggression and tension that will eventually work its way to the top when the stress begins to show. Others use aggressive behavior as a form of defense and protection. Either way, we avoid the real tension in front of us, and often avoid seeking a solution that favors both parties. It is important for us to begin from a point of honesty and self-reflection. If we are ever going to develop partnerships and truly collaborate, we need to face our own prejudices in order to find common ground, even and especially in the most unlikely of partnerships.
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Finding the Common Ground In order to find common ground for partnership and working together, we need to stand back to look for the opportunities and not just the roadblocks. A realistic evaluation of the partnership situation and what both are expecting out of working together is a starting point. Facts first, not feelings. Keep focused on the facts, rather than how they are presented. Don’t allow your own assumptions to break down the opportunities or possibilities that could result from working together. Partnerships are built on relationships, but this doesn’t mean you either need to become best friends or have no partnership at all! We need to be wise in developing appropriate and strategic partnerships and/or working relationships within the framework of our common ground and purpose. For example, driving in the city of Phnom Penh, Cambodia tries the patience of the best of us. Roadblocks are a common predicament and it is impossible to see the big picture of the situation from the middle of the traffic jam. If I could just be in a helicopter, I would be able to see where the problem is, and more importantly, how to get to the easiest exit route! Metaphorically, this is what we need to do with partnerships. We need to know where we are heading, what the big picture of the challenge or issue is, and where the possible exits or partnerships could be. Sometimes the common ground may seem too small in comparison to the problem. Nevertheless, however small it may seem to us, it is a starting point for building toward partnership. We need to keep this common ground or goal in mind as we begin building the partnership relationship. Our own perceptions and preferences quickly and easily cloud the issues and/or our responses which can easily build or destroy the way forward. Handling Conflict and Controversy As I outlined at the beginning of this essay, partnership and collaboration are not easy! Of course there will be times of conflict and controversy. But do we see these as an “exit” or as an opportunity? The old adage says: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!” It may seem cliché and out of date but the essence still stands. Partnership is a process not an event. It requires patience and purpose, as does any relationship in life. Partnership needs to go beyond our personal preferences and back to the vision and common goal. The second of Stephen Covey’s seven habits is “Begin with the end in mind.”1 In order for partnership to work, we need to know what the big picture and/or goal is so we can stay focused on where we are going in the midst of the process – especially when we hit the roadblocks of conflict and controversy. Positive results and greater impact often come out of resolved conflicts and controversy, and in fact might not have emerged from partnerships where there is little challenge and where complacency is more likely to result. 1
Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Free Press, 1989).
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Appropriately handing conflict doesn’t mean we have to apologize for our theology or renounce our faith. However, we do need to be aware that spiritual and theological superiority complexes can certainly build high walls and burn bridges. It is important to respond to issues of controversy respectfully, with evidence and facts, and be open to seeing it as a learning opportunity for all parties concerned.
The Way Forward Once we’ve considered our personal prejudices and committed to finding common ground with potential partners, the next step to collaboration is to consider the existing partnerships we have, and how these fit into the framework, vision and purpose we wish to achieve. A strategic yet practical way to do this is to develop a partnership analysis. Look at your goal and key objectives. First think of your internal staff and how their work is helping to achieve your goal. Then consider a wider circle of partnerships. Perhaps these are with individuals or organizations you already have common ground with, and those who espouse to similar faith and practice. Next draw a wider circle, this time considering the other organizations or individuals that you know have a similar goal but who may have a different faith or way of working. Begin to look at who within this circle could be strategic partners at some capacity in order to help achieve the greater goal. A ranking process could also be helpful in seeing which potential partners have more influence or skills than others. A SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) or similar tool can be useful in carrying out a risk assessment, and in seeing potential for opportunities in partnering. When doing a SWOT analysis I personally prefer looking at weaknesses first, then examining strengths at the same as threats/roadblocks in order to evaluate how I might turn them into opportunities. Once you see the completed picture, you will begin to recognize potential partnership opportunities, including how you may best approach them to achieve your greater goal. Conclusion We all have a choice. We can move alone and avoid the hazards of working with others who have differing values or behaviors than ours, or we can be purposeful in developing partnerships and working deliberately to find common ground in order to achieve a greater purpose and vision.
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Case Study, by Helen Sworn Considering the Greater Purpose Recently I met with someone who fits the challenge of this question exactly. Everyone who knew her warned me that she was verbally aggressive, dominant, uncooperative and almost impossible to work with, let alone develop external partnerships with. However, this individual was working on similar issues to my own organization, and developing a partnership would enable us both to be more effective in achieving our purpose. I kept the first conversations very professional and factual. During one conversation, she made controversial comments about the lack of ability for my organization to build relationships with others due to our Christian ethos. I respectfully pointed out that I did not agree with her perspective and that I had much evidence in our history of successfully working with organizations and others who did not assume a Christian faith. I stated clearly and deliberately that I made no apology for my faith, but that I believe everyone has a choice of faith and I respected that right. I verbally acknowledged that although we did not share the same faith standpoint, we did share the same standpoint regarding the issues of trafficking and sexual abuse, and I suggested we should focus on a possible way forward in that regard. It was clear to me that there had been a negative history between this individual and Christians who were more interested in personal agenda than partnership building. By the end of the conversation we had not only moved beyond these points of contention, but were also able to see some key partnership opportunities that benefitted both of our organizations. I often find that the challenging partnerships we have to work hardest to secure are those that have greater impact. There are many similar cases I could cite. Some of these more challenging partnerships have taken many meetings to solidify, and it has taken perseverance and humility to keep pursuing partnership for the greater good of those we are seeking to serve.
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Is' there' any' difference' you' feel' you' could' not' overlook' in' partnership?'Why'or'why'not?' As' suggested' by' the' author,' consider' organizations' you' are' not' working'with'now'who'may'have'a'similar'goal'but'have'a'different' faith' or' way' of' working.' Begin' to' consider' who' may' be' strategic' partners' to' help' achieve' your' common,' greater' goal.' Do' a' SWOT' analysis'to'consider'risks,'strengths'and/or'weaknesses'in'working' with'each'potential'partner.'
Key Issues, by Jennifer Roemhildt Tunehag What do a Christian mission organization, the LGBT community, the communist party of Greece and a sex worker’s union have in common? (This isn’t a joke.) The answer: Concern for people who are being harmed in prostitution. We will never be able to address the harms of prostitution and human trafficking on our own. One organization alone will never be able to remediate the suffering of those who are exploited or address the issues that caused their vulnerability. Finding partners is essential to accomplishing these goals. Our ministry works among several groups of people involved in prostitution in Athens: Greek nationals (both women and men), women in prostitution from Eastern Europe (most of whom are trafficked), and women who are trafficked from Africa. It was our work among transgender people involved in prostitution that drew the attention of the local LGBT community. “Could you host a booth at the Gay Pride Festival in two weeks?” a colleague was asked. Flabbergasted, she hesitated. “You understand our ministry doesn’t approve of homosexual behavior, right?” she asked. “We know,” came the response, “but we know that you love us, and we think that you should be there.” Jesus had drawn near to these men, and they wanted more. How amazing to be invited into their community as a “bridge” to relationship with God! How astonishing to work together – at the request of the organizing committee – to reach people with the Good News of God’s love. How to partner with dissimilar or controversial organizations is, in some respects, the second question. The first must be, Why? When Christians talk about partnership, it is generally assumed that we will choose others who ascribe to a similar or “good” faith. Why should we consider working with partners of good will?