Open Meetings June 2015.pptx
Monthly Open Mee,ngs Suppor&ng the Mentor/Mentee Rela&onship June 2015
Introduc,on by Dawn Repoli -‐ Director of Program Management Facilitator of WINiT Mentor Program On behalf of my partners, Dee and Cindy and our en&re Mentoring and Coaching commi>ee, congratula&ons on being part of the WINiT Pilot Mentor Program! Our research indicates that the key to a successful Mentor/Mentee rela&onship is based on two fundamental components: STRUCTURE and CLARITY: Ensuring the &meline, roles and responsibili&es of the Mentor and the Mentee are clearly defined. ü This was covered in the launch of the program and the documenta&on and training modules provided to par&cipants. RESOURCES TO FACILITATE CONVERSATION: Tools are needed in order to ignite the conversa&ons and provide support and resources to the rela&onship. • This will be provided in the form of Open Mee,ngs and document distribu&on which will include exercises, thought-‐provoking topics, ar&cles, videos and a support group to provide all the tools needed regardless of where you are in your rela&onship.
MENTORING AND COACHING COMMITTEE Guide the WINiT Pilot Mentor Program and foster improvements and rela&onships
Co-‐Chairs Dee Runyan* Cindy Shumate *
Advisor_______________ Tony D’Astolfo *
Administrator: Lisa Hoehn
Toni Bonne>e-‐Verdi Mara Eisenbaum Marianne Goodman Denise Haeussler Lindsay Hargraves Dana Rixter
*founding Leaders
Co-‐Coordinators Kellen Brink * Krissy Herman *
Members
Pa>y Li>le Carol Ann Salcito * Harriet Washburn* Barbara Shanly * Linda Senigaglia
Today’s Theme Work/ life balance • •
•
Discuss the challenges in achieving work/life
balance Create a plan for you to pursue professional success without sacrificing your personal/family life
Balance: • an even distribu&on of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady • a condi&on in which different elements are equal or in the correct propor&ons. • an apparatus for weighing, especially one with a central pivot, beam, and a pair of scales • a figure represen&ng the difference between credits and debits in an account • keep or put (something) in a steady posi&on so that it does not fall • offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.
“You will never feel truly sa&sfied by work un&l you are sa&sfied by life.”
~Heather Schuck
• “A true balance between work and life comes with knowing that your life ac&vi&es are integrated, not separated.” ~Michael Thomas Sunnarborg
“It’s up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the types of lives that we want to lead. If you don’t design your life, then someone else may just design it for you, and you may not like their idea of balance.” ~Nigel Marsh •
S.T.A.R. – Situa,on. Task. Ac,on. Results.
• Ask your Mentee to describe a Situa,on they would like to discuss • The Task they had set out to achieve • The Ac,ons they took • The Results The S.T.A.R. framework can be used by the Mentor to provide input and guidance on the discussion -‐ how they would suggest approaching a similar situa&on in the future to achieve different or improved results.
Work-‐Life Balance: Comments based on the book Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg Summarized by Denise Haeussler – WINiT Mentoring and Coaching CommiWee
Key Points:
Don’t Leave Before You Leave Don’t stop looking new opportuni&es or scale back your career if you have in mind having a baby. Women who take &me out of the workforce pay a big career penalty. Cost of child care should be measured against future salary rather than current salary. Make Your Partner a Real Partner Co-‐parent with a husband, treat him as an equally capable Share responsibility, don’t assign task. Children with involved and loving fathers have higher levels of psychological well-‐being and be>er cogni&ve abili&es. More equality leads to happier rela&onships Working women and sharing responsibili&es reduce risk of divorce
The Myth of Doing It All
Make choices and set limits, you can’t do it all Mother care v/s other care, no difference on children develop Success, do the best you can with what you’ve got **The following slides are direct quotes from Sheryl Sandberg’s book – this advice can be applied to all forms of partners and can be looked at in the reverse as well – where both partners and support people can benefit from the advice given herein.
"Don’t Leave Before You Leave” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Don’t stop looking for new opportuni,es or scale back your career if you have in mind having a baby: (or any large personal life change) "The classic scenario unfolds like this. An ambi&ous and successful woman heads down a challenging career path with the thought of having children in the back of her mind. At some point, this thought moves to the front of her mind, typically once she finds a partner.” "The more sa&sfied a person is with her posi&on, the less likely she is to leave. So the irony—and, the tragedy—is that women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of things they did to stay in the workforce. With the best of inten&ons, they end up in a job that is less fulfilling and less engaging. When they finally have a child, the choice—for those who have one—is between becoming a stay-‐at-‐home mother or returning to a less-‐than-‐appealing professional situa&on.” "What I am arguing is that the &me to scale back is when a break is needed or when a child arrives— not before, and certainly not years in advance. The months and years leading up to having children are not the &me to lean back, but the cri&cal &me to lean in." "Counterintui&ve, right before having a child can actually be a great &me to take a new job. If she found her new role challenging and rewarding, she’d be more excited to return to it acer giving birth. If she stayed put, she might decide that her job was not worth the sacrifice."
"Make Your Partner a Real Partner” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Co-‐parent; treat him or her as an equally capable: "Whenever a married woman asks me for advice on coparen&ng with a husband(partner), I tell her to let him put the diaper on the baby any way he wants as long as he’s doing it himself." "Over &me, if he does things his way, he’ll find the correct end. But if he’s forced to do things her way, pre>y soon she’ll be doing them herself." "Anyone who wants her mate to be a true partner must treat him as an equal—and equally capable— partner.” Share responsibility, don’t assign task: "Another common and counterproduc&ve dynamic occurs when women assign or suggest tasks to their partners. She is delega&ng, and that’s a step in the right direc&on. But sharing responsibility should mean sharing responsibility. Each partner needs to be in charge of specific ac&vi&es or it becomes too easy for one to feel like he’s doing a favor instead of doing his part." "“It’s really hard to listen to your baby cry while you’re struggling husband with no breasts tries desperately and some&mes awkwardly to comfort her, but it absolutely paid off when our daughter learned that Daddy could take care of her as well as Mommy.”"
"The Myth of Doing It All” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Make choices and set limits, you can’t do it all: "Trying to do it all and expec&ng that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfec&on is the enemy." "Counterintui&vely, long-‐term success at work ocen depends on not trying to meet every demand placed on us. The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately—to set limits and s&ck to them." "“Done is be>er than perfect.”” Mother care v/s other care, no difference on children develop: "Study acer study suggests that the pressure society places on women to stay home and do “what’s best for the child” is based on emo&on, not evidence." "Researches concluded that “children who were cared for exclusively by their mothers did not develop differently than those who were also cared for by others.” They found no gap in cogni&ve skills, language competence, social competence, ability to build and maintain rela&onships, or in the quality of the mother-‐child bond. “Exclusive maternal care was not related to be>er or worse outcomes for children. There is, thus, no reason for mothers to feel as though they are harming their children if they decide to work.”"
Talking Points
• All of this is great but how and where do I begin? • How do I present this to my support system in a clear, unemo&onal manner? • What are ways to check in and maintain this balance?
Literary Resources • Act Now! A Daily Ac,on Log for Achieving Your Goals in 90 Days by Peter D. Winiarski (Author) Filled with examples, &ps, and tools that are realis&c and easy to implement, na&onally known mental health expert Dr. Jaime Kulaga shows you step-‐by-‐step how to • Iden&fy your top life roles and priori&ze what really ma>ers • Say no and take care of yourself—without feeling guilty • Create a plan to work through the barriers to your personal fulfillment • Set smart goals, track your success, and reach out for support • Boost your confidence to meet challenges and make healthy choices • Reframe your past to work for you in the present This fun, prac&cal guide will help you stop struggling and start enjoying your life again.
• The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-‐by-‐Step Strategies to Create Work-‐Life Balance by Dr. Jaime Kulaga (Author) Complete with guidance and a daily ac&on log that provides simple ac,ons to take every day to help you achieve your dreams, Peter D. Winiarski's guidebook is geared to producing results in just ninety days. To maximize your personal produc,vity, wouldn't it be great to have your own personal coach there to give you a jump-‐start every day
Self-‐Assessment: Work-‐Life Balance
Work-‐life balance is a broad concept evoking a priori&zing between "work" (career or ambi&on) on one hand and "life" (pleasure, leisure, family or spiritual development) on the other. The term itself may set up false ideas about there being an “ideal” balancing point when in fact the goal may be less about true balance and more about valuing conscious choice when it comes to where and how we spend our &me. One person may think of work-‐life balance when they are experiencing life stress, while another may be trying to set priori&es for addressing personal and family needs. Work-‐Life Balance Exercises: h>p://hrweb.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/a>achments/Balancing_Life_Roles.pdf
What does “Work-‐Life Balance” mean to you?
• Consider the fit between your current work role and your life outside work. Are you saRsfied with your work-‐life balance? • What are your values about work and where it fits in your life as a whole? • What are your partner’s or family’s values about work and where it fits into your life together? • What is the impact of work-‐life balance and imbalance on you? • What are the issues that you prefer (“wants”) versus those that are absolutely non-‐negoRable (“needs”) in terms of work-‐life balance? • What do your answers to these quesRons tell you about your work-‐life concerns h>p://hrweb.berkeley.edu/learning/career-‐development/self-‐assessment/work-‐life
Tutorial Video Links Off Balance On Purpose: The Future of Engagement and Work-‐ Life Balance: Dan Thurmon at TEDxPSU h>ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OkzozrUEHY
Work-‐life Balance: Balancing Time or Balancing Iden&ty? | Michelle Ryan | TEDxExeter h>ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79tRTivyMSM
July Open Meeting Certification at Annual Summit End of Program Evalua,on • Evaluate your last few months • Discuss what worked and didn’t work in your mentoring rela&onship • Create a list of sugges&ons to help future mentoring teams for our next program
Are You Registered???
WINiT Annual Summit – Pilot Mentor Cer&fica&on Saturday, July 25, 2015 8:00am: Registra&on & Pre-‐Conference Sessions 8:30am – 4:00pm: Annual Summit Hya> Regency Hotel, Orlando, FL
Open Group Discussion In each Open Mee,ng, we will have an open discussion and share experiences to benefit other par,cipants and ascertain the topics and resources needed for our next call. If you are not comfortable sharing in this forum, please send your thoughts to Dawn directly: [email protected]
Introduc,on by Dawn Repoli -‐ Director of Program Management Facilitator of WINiT Mentor Program On behalf of my partners, Dee and Cindy and our en&re Mentoring and Coaching commi>ee, congratula&ons on being part of the WINiT Pilot Mentor Program! Our research indicates that the key to a successful Mentor/Mentee rela&onship is based on two fundamental components: STRUCTURE and CLARITY: Ensuring the &meline, roles and responsibili&es of the Mentor and the Mentee are clearly defined. ü This was covered in the launch of the program and the documenta&on and training modules provided to par&cipants. RESOURCES TO FACILITATE CONVERSATION: Tools are needed in order to ignite the conversa&ons and provide support and resources to the rela&onship. • This will be provided in the form of Open Mee,ngs and document distribu&on which will include exercises, thought-‐provoking topics, ar&cles, videos and a support group to provide all the tools needed regardless of where you are in your rela&onship.
MENTORING AND COACHING COMMITTEE Guide the WINiT Pilot Mentor Program and foster improvements and rela&onships
Co-‐Chairs Dee Runyan* Cindy Shumate *
Advisor_______________ Tony D’Astolfo *
Administrator: Lisa Hoehn
Toni Bonne>e-‐Verdi Mara Eisenbaum Marianne Goodman Denise Haeussler Lindsay Hargraves Dana Rixter
*founding Leaders
Co-‐Coordinators Kellen Brink * Krissy Herman *
Members
Pa>y Li>le Carol Ann Salcito * Harriet Washburn* Barbara Shanly * Linda Senigaglia
Today’s Theme Work/ life balance • •
•
Discuss the challenges in achieving work/life
balance Create a plan for you to pursue professional success without sacrificing your personal/family life
Balance: • an even distribu&on of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady • a condi&on in which different elements are equal or in the correct propor&ons. • an apparatus for weighing, especially one with a central pivot, beam, and a pair of scales • a figure represen&ng the difference between credits and debits in an account • keep or put (something) in a steady posi&on so that it does not fall • offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.
“You will never feel truly sa&sfied by work un&l you are sa&sfied by life.”
~Heather Schuck
• “A true balance between work and life comes with knowing that your life ac&vi&es are integrated, not separated.” ~Michael Thomas Sunnarborg
“It’s up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the types of lives that we want to lead. If you don’t design your life, then someone else may just design it for you, and you may not like their idea of balance.” ~Nigel Marsh •
S.T.A.R. – Situa,on. Task. Ac,on. Results.
• Ask your Mentee to describe a Situa,on they would like to discuss • The Task they had set out to achieve • The Ac,ons they took • The Results The S.T.A.R. framework can be used by the Mentor to provide input and guidance on the discussion -‐ how they would suggest approaching a similar situa&on in the future to achieve different or improved results.
Work-‐Life Balance: Comments based on the book Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg Summarized by Denise Haeussler – WINiT Mentoring and Coaching CommiWee
Key Points:
Don’t Leave Before You Leave Don’t stop looking new opportuni&es or scale back your career if you have in mind having a baby. Women who take &me out of the workforce pay a big career penalty. Cost of child care should be measured against future salary rather than current salary. Make Your Partner a Real Partner Co-‐parent with a husband, treat him as an equally capable Share responsibility, don’t assign task. Children with involved and loving fathers have higher levels of psychological well-‐being and be>er cogni&ve abili&es. More equality leads to happier rela&onships Working women and sharing responsibili&es reduce risk of divorce
The Myth of Doing It All
Make choices and set limits, you can’t do it all Mother care v/s other care, no difference on children develop Success, do the best you can with what you’ve got **The following slides are direct quotes from Sheryl Sandberg’s book – this advice can be applied to all forms of partners and can be looked at in the reverse as well – where both partners and support people can benefit from the advice given herein.
"Don’t Leave Before You Leave” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Don’t stop looking for new opportuni,es or scale back your career if you have in mind having a baby: (or any large personal life change) "The classic scenario unfolds like this. An ambi&ous and successful woman heads down a challenging career path with the thought of having children in the back of her mind. At some point, this thought moves to the front of her mind, typically once she finds a partner.” "The more sa&sfied a person is with her posi&on, the less likely she is to leave. So the irony—and, the tragedy—is that women wind up leaving the workforce precisely because of things they did to stay in the workforce. With the best of inten&ons, they end up in a job that is less fulfilling and less engaging. When they finally have a child, the choice—for those who have one—is between becoming a stay-‐at-‐home mother or returning to a less-‐than-‐appealing professional situa&on.” "What I am arguing is that the &me to scale back is when a break is needed or when a child arrives— not before, and certainly not years in advance. The months and years leading up to having children are not the &me to lean back, but the cri&cal &me to lean in." "Counterintui&ve, right before having a child can actually be a great &me to take a new job. If she found her new role challenging and rewarding, she’d be more excited to return to it acer giving birth. If she stayed put, she might decide that her job was not worth the sacrifice."
"Make Your Partner a Real Partner” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Co-‐parent; treat him or her as an equally capable: "Whenever a married woman asks me for advice on coparen&ng with a husband(partner), I tell her to let him put the diaper on the baby any way he wants as long as he’s doing it himself." "Over &me, if he does things his way, he’ll find the correct end. But if he’s forced to do things her way, pre>y soon she’ll be doing them herself." "Anyone who wants her mate to be a true partner must treat him as an equal—and equally capable— partner.” Share responsibility, don’t assign task: "Another common and counterproduc&ve dynamic occurs when women assign or suggest tasks to their partners. She is delega&ng, and that’s a step in the right direc&on. But sharing responsibility should mean sharing responsibility. Each partner needs to be in charge of specific ac&vi&es or it becomes too easy for one to feel like he’s doing a favor instead of doing his part." "“It’s really hard to listen to your baby cry while you’re struggling husband with no breasts tries desperately and some&mes awkwardly to comfort her, but it absolutely paid off when our daughter learned that Daddy could take care of her as well as Mommy.”"
"The Myth of Doing It All” Lean In-‐ Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Make choices and set limits, you can’t do it all: "Trying to do it all and expec&ng that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfec&on is the enemy." "Counterintui&vely, long-‐term success at work ocen depends on not trying to meet every demand placed on us. The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately—to set limits and s&ck to them." "“Done is be>er than perfect.”” Mother care v/s other care, no difference on children develop: "Study acer study suggests that the pressure society places on women to stay home and do “what’s best for the child” is based on emo&on, not evidence." "Researches concluded that “children who were cared for exclusively by their mothers did not develop differently than those who were also cared for by others.” They found no gap in cogni&ve skills, language competence, social competence, ability to build and maintain rela&onships, or in the quality of the mother-‐child bond. “Exclusive maternal care was not related to be>er or worse outcomes for children. There is, thus, no reason for mothers to feel as though they are harming their children if they decide to work.”"
Talking Points
• All of this is great but how and where do I begin? • How do I present this to my support system in a clear, unemo&onal manner? • What are ways to check in and maintain this balance?
Literary Resources • Act Now! A Daily Ac,on Log for Achieving Your Goals in 90 Days by Peter D. Winiarski (Author) Filled with examples, &ps, and tools that are realis&c and easy to implement, na&onally known mental health expert Dr. Jaime Kulaga shows you step-‐by-‐step how to • Iden&fy your top life roles and priori&ze what really ma>ers • Say no and take care of yourself—without feeling guilty • Create a plan to work through the barriers to your personal fulfillment • Set smart goals, track your success, and reach out for support • Boost your confidence to meet challenges and make healthy choices • Reframe your past to work for you in the present This fun, prac&cal guide will help you stop struggling and start enjoying your life again.
• The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-‐by-‐Step Strategies to Create Work-‐Life Balance by Dr. Jaime Kulaga (Author) Complete with guidance and a daily ac&on log that provides simple ac,ons to take every day to help you achieve your dreams, Peter D. Winiarski's guidebook is geared to producing results in just ninety days. To maximize your personal produc,vity, wouldn't it be great to have your own personal coach there to give you a jump-‐start every day
Self-‐Assessment: Work-‐Life Balance
Work-‐life balance is a broad concept evoking a priori&zing between "work" (career or ambi&on) on one hand and "life" (pleasure, leisure, family or spiritual development) on the other. The term itself may set up false ideas about there being an “ideal” balancing point when in fact the goal may be less about true balance and more about valuing conscious choice when it comes to where and how we spend our &me. One person may think of work-‐life balance when they are experiencing life stress, while another may be trying to set priori&es for addressing personal and family needs. Work-‐Life Balance Exercises: h>p://hrweb.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/a>achments/Balancing_Life_Roles.pdf
What does “Work-‐Life Balance” mean to you?
• Consider the fit between your current work role and your life outside work. Are you saRsfied with your work-‐life balance? • What are your values about work and where it fits in your life as a whole? • What are your partner’s or family’s values about work and where it fits into your life together? • What is the impact of work-‐life balance and imbalance on you? • What are the issues that you prefer (“wants”) versus those that are absolutely non-‐negoRable (“needs”) in terms of work-‐life balance? • What do your answers to these quesRons tell you about your work-‐life concerns h>p://hrweb.berkeley.edu/learning/career-‐development/self-‐assessment/work-‐life
Tutorial Video Links Off Balance On Purpose: The Future of Engagement and Work-‐ Life Balance: Dan Thurmon at TEDxPSU h>ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OkzozrUEHY
Work-‐life Balance: Balancing Time or Balancing Iden&ty? | Michelle Ryan | TEDxExeter h>ps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79tRTivyMSM
July Open Meeting Certification at Annual Summit End of Program Evalua,on • Evaluate your last few months • Discuss what worked and didn’t work in your mentoring rela&onship • Create a list of sugges&ons to help future mentoring teams for our next program
Are You Registered???
WINiT Annual Summit – Pilot Mentor Cer&fica&on Saturday, July 25, 2015 8:00am: Registra&on & Pre-‐Conference Sessions 8:30am – 4:00pm: Annual Summit Hya> Regency Hotel, Orlando, FL
Open Group Discussion In each Open Mee,ng, we will have an open discussion and share experiences to benefit other par,cipants and ascertain the topics and resources needed for our next call. If you are not comfortable sharing in this forum, please send your thoughts to Dawn directly: [email protected]
