Prologue
Prologue I was in love. Heart fluttering, butterfly inducing, love. I was just an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
Chapter one “Admit it, Rachel, you have the absolute worst taste in men,” Kate said. Kate Jordan was one of my best friends. We had known each other since junior high school. Samantha Rayne was my other best friends. She was currently attending college in Massachusetts. She had been there about two years now and I missed her like crazy. She would, however, completely agree with Kate. I honestly could not disagree with her. I did not have the best track record when it came to men. The most recent disaster was named Steve Franklin. Kate could not stand him. Looking back, I cannot say I blamed her. He was an idiot. I also found out later he was kind of a stalker. I met Steve while I was sort of dating this loser guy who refused to commit. He was not worth my time but he was convenient for “other things” at the moment. Anyway, I digress. So Steve and I “met” online via an AOL Instant Messenger chat room. Yes, I was completely aware at how ridiculous that sounded. It did not seem so ridiculous at the time, obviously. We talked a lot over a six month period or so, online and on the phone. He seemed like this really great, sweet guy. He was currently attending college in upstate New York where he lived. He was an English major which was cool. He came in handy proof reading my papers for class. About three months into our “friendship” he said he was coming for a visit. Of course, given my poor judgment skills, I thought was a fabulous idea. I took Kate with me to get him at the bus terminal. He thought it was easier to take the bus down than drive by himself. He lived near the Canadian border and it was almost a five hour drive. I personally did not think that was that long to drive alone, but whatever. I was a little nervous picking him up at the bus terminal. This really was the first time we had actually met, which was why Kate came with me. I needed moral support… and also in case he was a psycho. Yeah, that was kind of ironic now. I had seen pictures of him so I knew who I was looking for. At least I hoped so. I was starting to get nervous that he had sent bogus pictures. He was cute according to what he had sent. He had blonde hair, green eyes, and freckles. He was a self-proclaimed geek, as well. I generally liked guys with brown hair and zero freckles who were jocks, but they had not been working out so well for me, so veering away from my so called type seemed like a good idea. I would soon be convinced I was better off with my “type”. The weekend went pretty well. We talked a lot. I took him for a tour around town, not that it was very big. We hung out at Kate’s, where we were both spending the weekend.
There was no way he was coming home to meet my parents. Explaining to them how we met was sure to be a disaster. For whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to mention that I was sort of “dating” loser guy. Steve and I were not technically a couple but I thought I should be honest with him. I had chosen not to mention loser guy via chat but I was feeling guilty for continuing my “relationship” with him and wanted to come clean to Steve. He did not take it well at all. He stormed out of Kate’s apartment and I had no idea where he went. I had not expected him to like it, but I did not expect a temper tantrum. This really should have been my first sign that he was crazy. He eventually came back and apologized for over reacting. He was leaving the next day and I just let it go. Everyone was entitled to a melt down every once in a while, right? After he went back home, we continued our “relationship” via the internet and phone. I had stopped seeing loser guy out of guilt, but I had to admit I missed the sex. It was hard having a “boyfriend” who was not physically present. I really did not know what was going on with Steve and me to be honest. I think he thought we were far more serious than I did. To prove my point, Steve sprung some “good” news on me towards the end of my sophomore year. He was transferring schools to come be with me. I actually thought that was a good idea. It would be nice to be able to talk to him face to face… and do other things. We did leave things pretty open for the summer, though. We both said it was ok to date people and we would see what we were come the fall. Again, great idea at the time. I dated a few guys over the summer. As I said, we decided this was ok. Well, when school started and Steve came down, things did not go well. I really liked one of the guys I was dating and told him that. I told him that I cared about him but I was not sure where this was going. Obviously, this did not go well considering he moved to Pennsylvania to be with me. This was when it got ugly. Steve got really possessive and kind of stalker like. He would stand outside my window and watch me. I did not find out about this until way later, thankfully. My parents hated him and I would not listen to them. Fast forward to today.
“I realize I have bad taste in men. I do not know what is wrong with me,” I said. “I’m just nervous to have this conversation with Steve.” “We definitely need to work on finding you a normal guy,” she said. “Do you think Steve will try something crazy?”
“No, not really. I don’t know. I hope not.” Kate grabbed my phone off the table. “Here. Call him. Tell him to meet you at the diner where there will be witnesses.” “Fine.” I called Steve and made plans to meet him at Dave’s Diner in an hour. I arrived a little early and saw Faye working at the counter. Faye had worked at the diner forever. She knew all the customers that came in and their usual orders. I had worked there for about four years now and knew that I was not going to make a career out of it. However, it paid the bills for the moment. Dave, the owner, had become like an uncle to me. He loved to interact with the customers between cooking orders. It was an interesting job, for sure. It was mostly locals who came in to gossip. Sometimes kids from the college would come in, but they usually went to the bigger restaurants near campus. That was another reason why the diner was a good meeting place. If Steve tried anything stupid, Dave or anyone else, for that matter, would lay him on his ass. “Hi, Rachel!” Faye was an annoyingly cheerful person. No one could be that happy all the time. It was not natural. “What are you doing here on your day off?” “I’m meeting a friend.” I headed behind the counter to grab a drink. I heard the door jingle and Steve walked in. Here goes nothing, I thought. I was still trying to figure out what I was going to say to Steve. I needed to say, Hey, you are nuts and you need to go home ASAP, in a really nice way. I ushered him over to a table. “So,” I said. “So… What’s going on, Rachel? I get the feeling this is not going to go well.” “Well, um, you guessed right.” I took a drink of my Diet Coke. I took a deep breath and just let everything out. “Ok, Steve, here’s the truth. I do not really see this working out for us and I think maybe it would be a good idea if you went back to New York.” No sense in sugar coating it. “Rachel, that’s ridiculous. How can you say that? You know how I feel about you. We can make this work. I came all this way to be with you.” Ugh, this was going to be painful. For me, and him, too, I supposed. “I know you did but we can’t. I do not want to make it work, Steve. I am sorry you came here and it did not work out but I am not going to pretend that we are a good idea.” “I left my family and friends to come be with you, Rachel. There is someone else, isn’t there?” He looked pissed now. Ugh, fucking men.
I debated on telling him yes, there was. It may have been easier for him to take… or he would have punched a hole in the wall. In either case, I thought honesty was the best policy. “No, there isn’t. I just do not see this working. If you’re going to stay in Beaver Creek, I would appreciate it if you just left me alone. I am truly sorry if I have hurt you. I really thought you coming here was a good idea and I wanted it to work. It just is not.” I looked around to see if Dave was in sight. Crap, I did not see him. I heard Steve sigh. He seemed to relax a bit. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I do love you but I think you are right. Moving down here was a crazy idea and I should have just stayed in New York. It was a crazy idea thinking this could work out. It seemed like a great idea at the time. As soon as the semester is over I will head back home. My parents will be happy. They did not want me to come here anyway,” he said. “Thank you for actually being understanding, Steve.” I was pleasantly surprised by his behavior. “I hope you have a great life. You deserve to be happy.” I felt bad for the guy. “I’m sorry, Steve.” I was. I never intended to hurt him. He was right; it did seem like a good idea at the time. I really needed to start realizing these things in the moment and not after the fact. “No, it’s ok. I get it. Have a nice life.” He got up and walked out of the diner. Well, that went better than I thought it would. I was actually kind of confused that it went so well but I was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I glanced at my watch, it was time to go meet up with Kate and celebrate my singledom. I called Kate on my way to her apartment like she asked me to. When I arrived at Kate’s, our whole group of friends was there, minus Kara and Sam. Kara went to school in California. It was very rare for her to get home. Flights were expensive, I assumed. Everyone let out a cheer when I walked in. I guess they were excited I dumped Steve. I loved how everyone always said how much of a dick the guy I dated was AFTER it was over. Although, Kate and Sam were usually brutally honest, the rest of my friends held back. Kate, Blaine Michaels, Greg Pratt, Samantha Rayne, Kara Fitz, Faith Lewis, and I had been friends since high school; one would think they would all express their opinions more freely. “Hey, guys,” I said. Faith came running over. “Is stalker boy gone?” I laughed. “Yes, he actually agreed to leave. It went rather well actually.” “Good,” Blaine said as he handed me a Diet Coke. “A toast to Rachel coming to her senses!” I shook my head at him.
“To Rachel!” they yelled. “You know guys, Kate and Sam were the only ones who warned me he was crazy,” I said. I took a sip of my drink. “Whatever. Who knows when I will find love again? Life is about the journey, right? Although, sometimes getting to the destination would be nice, too. I would love to meet a nice, normal guy.” “Yes, but try not to get yourself killed along the way. Stalker boy could have gone nutty,” Kate pointed out. “Yeah, yeah.” I hated to admit when she was right. We hung around for a while and Blaine and Greg went home. Kara called to get the scoop. I told her about how well Steve took the news. She was surprised he did not flip out and she did not even know him. She only knew the stories we told her. Although, I cannot imagine that Kate painted him in a good light. “You know, Rachel. What you need is a guy like Greg. He is super sweet and a nice guy,” Kara said. She had a point. Greg was a great guy. I had never really thought of him that way before, though. “Maybe what I need is a break from guys. Focus more on school. Maybe become a nun.” Faith and Kate were laughing in the background. “Oh, shut up!” I could not help but laugh, too. We all knew that would not happen. I put Kara on speakerphone and she told us about the guy she was dating. It was nothing serious, she said, but she was having fun. I headed home around eleven. I pondered what Kara had said about Greg. I had never really given it much thought. I mean, Blaine and I had hooked up a couple of times but a relationship was definitely not going to happen. We had both agreed on that beforehand. We were simply friends with benefits but that had ended a while ago. Ok, I cannot lie; we did hook up this past summer a couple times. Hey, we were both technically single and we both had needs. As far as having a relationship, yeah… not going to happen.
Chapter one “Admit it, Rachel, you have the absolute worst taste in men,” Kate said. Kate Jordan was one of my best friends. We had known each other since junior high school. Samantha Rayne was my other best friends. She was currently attending college in Massachusetts. She had been there about two years now and I missed her like crazy. She would, however, completely agree with Kate. I honestly could not disagree with her. I did not have the best track record when it came to men. The most recent disaster was named Steve Franklin. Kate could not stand him. Looking back, I cannot say I blamed her. He was an idiot. I also found out later he was kind of a stalker. I met Steve while I was sort of dating this loser guy who refused to commit. He was not worth my time but he was convenient for “other things” at the moment. Anyway, I digress. So Steve and I “met” online via an AOL Instant Messenger chat room. Yes, I was completely aware at how ridiculous that sounded. It did not seem so ridiculous at the time, obviously. We talked a lot over a six month period or so, online and on the phone. He seemed like this really great, sweet guy. He was currently attending college in upstate New York where he lived. He was an English major which was cool. He came in handy proof reading my papers for class. About three months into our “friendship” he said he was coming for a visit. Of course, given my poor judgment skills, I thought was a fabulous idea. I took Kate with me to get him at the bus terminal. He thought it was easier to take the bus down than drive by himself. He lived near the Canadian border and it was almost a five hour drive. I personally did not think that was that long to drive alone, but whatever. I was a little nervous picking him up at the bus terminal. This really was the first time we had actually met, which was why Kate came with me. I needed moral support… and also in case he was a psycho. Yeah, that was kind of ironic now. I had seen pictures of him so I knew who I was looking for. At least I hoped so. I was starting to get nervous that he had sent bogus pictures. He was cute according to what he had sent. He had blonde hair, green eyes, and freckles. He was a self-proclaimed geek, as well. I generally liked guys with brown hair and zero freckles who were jocks, but they had not been working out so well for me, so veering away from my so called type seemed like a good idea. I would soon be convinced I was better off with my “type”. The weekend went pretty well. We talked a lot. I took him for a tour around town, not that it was very big. We hung out at Kate’s, where we were both spending the weekend.
There was no way he was coming home to meet my parents. Explaining to them how we met was sure to be a disaster. For whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to mention that I was sort of “dating” loser guy. Steve and I were not technically a couple but I thought I should be honest with him. I had chosen not to mention loser guy via chat but I was feeling guilty for continuing my “relationship” with him and wanted to come clean to Steve. He did not take it well at all. He stormed out of Kate’s apartment and I had no idea where he went. I had not expected him to like it, but I did not expect a temper tantrum. This really should have been my first sign that he was crazy. He eventually came back and apologized for over reacting. He was leaving the next day and I just let it go. Everyone was entitled to a melt down every once in a while, right? After he went back home, we continued our “relationship” via the internet and phone. I had stopped seeing loser guy out of guilt, but I had to admit I missed the sex. It was hard having a “boyfriend” who was not physically present. I really did not know what was going on with Steve and me to be honest. I think he thought we were far more serious than I did. To prove my point, Steve sprung some “good” news on me towards the end of my sophomore year. He was transferring schools to come be with me. I actually thought that was a good idea. It would be nice to be able to talk to him face to face… and do other things. We did leave things pretty open for the summer, though. We both said it was ok to date people and we would see what we were come the fall. Again, great idea at the time. I dated a few guys over the summer. As I said, we decided this was ok. Well, when school started and Steve came down, things did not go well. I really liked one of the guys I was dating and told him that. I told him that I cared about him but I was not sure where this was going. Obviously, this did not go well considering he moved to Pennsylvania to be with me. This was when it got ugly. Steve got really possessive and kind of stalker like. He would stand outside my window and watch me. I did not find out about this until way later, thankfully. My parents hated him and I would not listen to them. Fast forward to today.
“I realize I have bad taste in men. I do not know what is wrong with me,” I said. “I’m just nervous to have this conversation with Steve.” “We definitely need to work on finding you a normal guy,” she said. “Do you think Steve will try something crazy?”
“No, not really. I don’t know. I hope not.” Kate grabbed my phone off the table. “Here. Call him. Tell him to meet you at the diner where there will be witnesses.” “Fine.” I called Steve and made plans to meet him at Dave’s Diner in an hour. I arrived a little early and saw Faye working at the counter. Faye had worked at the diner forever. She knew all the customers that came in and their usual orders. I had worked there for about four years now and knew that I was not going to make a career out of it. However, it paid the bills for the moment. Dave, the owner, had become like an uncle to me. He loved to interact with the customers between cooking orders. It was an interesting job, for sure. It was mostly locals who came in to gossip. Sometimes kids from the college would come in, but they usually went to the bigger restaurants near campus. That was another reason why the diner was a good meeting place. If Steve tried anything stupid, Dave or anyone else, for that matter, would lay him on his ass. “Hi, Rachel!” Faye was an annoyingly cheerful person. No one could be that happy all the time. It was not natural. “What are you doing here on your day off?” “I’m meeting a friend.” I headed behind the counter to grab a drink. I heard the door jingle and Steve walked in. Here goes nothing, I thought. I was still trying to figure out what I was going to say to Steve. I needed to say, Hey, you are nuts and you need to go home ASAP, in a really nice way. I ushered him over to a table. “So,” I said. “So… What’s going on, Rachel? I get the feeling this is not going to go well.” “Well, um, you guessed right.” I took a drink of my Diet Coke. I took a deep breath and just let everything out. “Ok, Steve, here’s the truth. I do not really see this working out for us and I think maybe it would be a good idea if you went back to New York.” No sense in sugar coating it. “Rachel, that’s ridiculous. How can you say that? You know how I feel about you. We can make this work. I came all this way to be with you.” Ugh, this was going to be painful. For me, and him, too, I supposed. “I know you did but we can’t. I do not want to make it work, Steve. I am sorry you came here and it did not work out but I am not going to pretend that we are a good idea.” “I left my family and friends to come be with you, Rachel. There is someone else, isn’t there?” He looked pissed now. Ugh, fucking men.
I debated on telling him yes, there was. It may have been easier for him to take… or he would have punched a hole in the wall. In either case, I thought honesty was the best policy. “No, there isn’t. I just do not see this working. If you’re going to stay in Beaver Creek, I would appreciate it if you just left me alone. I am truly sorry if I have hurt you. I really thought you coming here was a good idea and I wanted it to work. It just is not.” I looked around to see if Dave was in sight. Crap, I did not see him. I heard Steve sigh. He seemed to relax a bit. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I do love you but I think you are right. Moving down here was a crazy idea and I should have just stayed in New York. It was a crazy idea thinking this could work out. It seemed like a great idea at the time. As soon as the semester is over I will head back home. My parents will be happy. They did not want me to come here anyway,” he said. “Thank you for actually being understanding, Steve.” I was pleasantly surprised by his behavior. “I hope you have a great life. You deserve to be happy.” I felt bad for the guy. “I’m sorry, Steve.” I was. I never intended to hurt him. He was right; it did seem like a good idea at the time. I really needed to start realizing these things in the moment and not after the fact. “No, it’s ok. I get it. Have a nice life.” He got up and walked out of the diner. Well, that went better than I thought it would. I was actually kind of confused that it went so well but I was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I glanced at my watch, it was time to go meet up with Kate and celebrate my singledom. I called Kate on my way to her apartment like she asked me to. When I arrived at Kate’s, our whole group of friends was there, minus Kara and Sam. Kara went to school in California. It was very rare for her to get home. Flights were expensive, I assumed. Everyone let out a cheer when I walked in. I guess they were excited I dumped Steve. I loved how everyone always said how much of a dick the guy I dated was AFTER it was over. Although, Kate and Sam were usually brutally honest, the rest of my friends held back. Kate, Blaine Michaels, Greg Pratt, Samantha Rayne, Kara Fitz, Faith Lewis, and I had been friends since high school; one would think they would all express their opinions more freely. “Hey, guys,” I said. Faith came running over. “Is stalker boy gone?” I laughed. “Yes, he actually agreed to leave. It went rather well actually.” “Good,” Blaine said as he handed me a Diet Coke. “A toast to Rachel coming to her senses!” I shook my head at him.
“To Rachel!” they yelled. “You know guys, Kate and Sam were the only ones who warned me he was crazy,” I said. I took a sip of my drink. “Whatever. Who knows when I will find love again? Life is about the journey, right? Although, sometimes getting to the destination would be nice, too. I would love to meet a nice, normal guy.” “Yes, but try not to get yourself killed along the way. Stalker boy could have gone nutty,” Kate pointed out. “Yeah, yeah.” I hated to admit when she was right. We hung around for a while and Blaine and Greg went home. Kara called to get the scoop. I told her about how well Steve took the news. She was surprised he did not flip out and she did not even know him. She only knew the stories we told her. Although, I cannot imagine that Kate painted him in a good light. “You know, Rachel. What you need is a guy like Greg. He is super sweet and a nice guy,” Kara said. She had a point. Greg was a great guy. I had never really thought of him that way before, though. “Maybe what I need is a break from guys. Focus more on school. Maybe become a nun.” Faith and Kate were laughing in the background. “Oh, shut up!” I could not help but laugh, too. We all knew that would not happen. I put Kara on speakerphone and she told us about the guy she was dating. It was nothing serious, she said, but she was having fun. I headed home around eleven. I pondered what Kara had said about Greg. I had never really given it much thought. I mean, Blaine and I had hooked up a couple of times but a relationship was definitely not going to happen. We had both agreed on that beforehand. We were simply friends with benefits but that had ended a while ago. Ok, I cannot lie; we did hook up this past summer a couple times. Hey, we were both technically single and we both had needs. As far as having a relationship, yeah… not going to happen.
