Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook By Anastasiya Goers www.balanceinme.com
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Table of Contents Why are you looking for simplicity? .......................................................................................................................................... 3 Finding your Inner Simplicity ..................................................................................................................................................... 4 Step 1. Become aware....................................................................................................................................................... 5 Step 2. Allow yourself to be bored .................................................................................................................................... 9 Step 3. Write it down ...................................................................................................................................................... 10 Step 4. Organize your routines ........................................................................................................................................ 12 Surviving the Time Famine ...................................................................................................................................................... 14 Step 5. Stop getting things done .................................................................................................................................... 15 Step 6. Simplify your commitments................................................................................................................................. 16 Changing your mindset ........................................................................................................................................................... 18 Step 7. Find the beauty of less......................................................................................................................................... 19 Step 8. Find your motivation ........................................................................................................................................... 22 Step 9. Start simplifying your life ..................................................................................................................................... 24
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Why are you looking for simplicity? Where do you think Life Simplicity start? Does it start with clean and uncluttered closets? Does it start with a well-organized schedule? Does it start simple financial balance? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then I am afraid I have to disappoint you. Life Simplicity starts inside. It starts with uncluttered mind. It starts with emotional balance. It starts with a new attitude to life. Just think of it, a well-organized and minimalistic home won't bring you any satisfaction if you are troubled with negative or unhappy thoughts. A perfect schedule which has enough room for all your activities will be useless if you are reliving over and over old painful memories. External ways of simplifying life have no meaning at all if you cannot find your balance and inner simplicity… if you cannot change your attitude in life.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Finding your Inner Simplicity Why are you looking for simplicity in life? Are you doing it to have more time during your day? Are you doing it to have more room in your house? Perhaps the reason why most of us are looking for simplicity is because they need some inner peace and contentment. All of your external organizational efforts will be useless if you cannot simplify your inner world: your mind, your emotions, your thoughts. Actually we will never be able to grasp the concept of "living with less" if we neglect our inner selves. Without inner simplicity we will be left wanting more to fill up our inner emptiness. In fact, the more you simplify your life externally the more time you will have to deal with "your inner demons." Memories of the past ... restless thoughts ... strong emotions ... doubts ... This thought process can become suffocating over time if you do not find your inner strength and peace.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 1. Become aware Before you can find your inner simplicity you need to get to know yourself. There are so many things that we do on autopilot that often we have no logical reason to do them. Like buying a new gadget that you saw at the store or taking on another social commitment. Start questioning yourself "Why am I doing it? Why do I want it?' Soon you will notice that many desires that you have are not tempting anymore. Exercise 1. Think about today and try to list every activity that you did today. Can you make the entire list? 1.
7.
2.
8.
3.
9.
4.
10.
5.
11.
6.
12.
… Continue this list as needed. Now write down the reason why you did this activity (do not use reasons like “I always do it” or “It is my habit.”)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Awareness comes with practice and the best way of practicing it is through meditation. Choose your style of meditation and practice it on a daily basis. Soon you will notice that moments of awareness will come to you more frequently throughout your day. Exercise 2. 12 Simple Steps to Start Meditating 1. DO NOT DISTURB Find as peaceful a place as you can. If you have young children at home, you might invite them to create a Do Not Disturb notice for the door of the room where you meditate. They will know that this is your time, and will leave you in peace. Turn off phones, or any other sources of distraction. 2. NO WRONG WAY With this simple form of meditation, there are no rules for your mind to worry over. The saying I work with is that there is no wrong way to do spiritual exercises, the only wrong way is not to do them. Experiment with what works best for you. No rules to break. "If we don't go within, we go without." 3. REGULAR TIME -- DECIDE HOW LONG When you are beginning, it is helpful to choose a regular time day, evening or whenever is best for you. A 15 minutes session can be a good start. To be aware of the time, you might like to set an alarm, or have a watch by you.
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4. COMFORT
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Wear comfortable clothing; make sure you are warm enough. You need to feel relaxed and safe. You might like to have a meditation blanket to feel cozy. 5. SIT UP -- NOT LIE DOWN If you lie down to meditate, the chances are that you may go off to sleep. Not a bad thing but you might have a better experience by sitting up in a comfortable chair, ideally with a head rest. 6. KEY WORD -- LOVE Bring to mind an image that evokes a feeling of loving. You could have a photo of your spouse, your child -- someone who inspires your love -- or a pet animal, by you. 7. LIGHT The powerful loving essence within us I have come to know as the Light. Light that assists us to see clearly and understand what is true for us. Light that lifts us above the heaviness we sometimes feel. Light that awakens us to joy. At the beginning of your meditation, invoke the presence of this Light as you let go of the concerns of the day. You might just say "Light for the highest good." 8. BREATHING EXERCISE Pay attention to your breathing. Watch your breath as it enters your body, and again as it leaves. Experiment with this technique. Breathe in to a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 4. Breathe out to a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4. Repeat this at your own rhythm. After doing the counting, you might watch your breathing, allowing yourself to breathe more deeply than perhaps you do normally. Slow deep breaths will help you to relax and let go; to become more peaceful.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook 9. OBSERVE As you do the breathing, notice how you feel. You might see colors or hear sounds. You may be aware of nothing in particular. It is all just fine. If busy thoughts come to mind, watch them like clouds passing across a blue sky. You do not need to engage with them. Let them be. They will pass. 10. NOTEPAD -- JOURNAL You may get a pressing thought, such as "pick up the dry cleaning". It is good to write those thoughts down on a notepad so they stop disturbing you. When you come out of meditation, then act on them to get them out of the way. You may receive insights that you wish to keep. A journal is a good place to record ideas, inspirations or guidance about a project you are working on. I find that if I do not write down these ideas, I will forget them, and they are often really useful to me. 11. STRETCH At the end of your meditation, stretch up so that once again your feet are "on the ground", and you are ready to re-engage in everyday life. 12. WATER Drink a glass of water -- this too will assist you back into ordinary life.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 2. Allow yourself to be bored Today we have completely mastered the art of conquering boredom. We jam-pack our schedule, call our friends, turn on the TV, surf the web or hang out on the social media websites, weed the yard, and the list goes on. By cramming so much stuff in our schedule we limit our personal time, the time that we can spend getting to know ourselves, becoming aware and dealing with our deep issues. It is okay to have 15-30 minutes during the day when you have absolutely nothing to do. Let yourself be still, connect with nature around you, pray ... find your inner peace. Exercise 3. Take a look at the activities that you listed in Exercise 1. Which ones of those activities can you eliminate from your daily schedule? Write them down.
Which activities bring the least benefit (in the sense of productivity or the pleasure that you get from this activity)? Write them down. How can you delegate these activities or minimize them – brainstorm a few ideas.
When can you find time to be still? Write down this time (in the mornings before everyone else wakes up, in the evening when you get back from work, before you go to bed etc.) below. Put this time in your daily planner, on your to-do list or make a big sign and put it on your refrigerator (or any other place where you will always see it.)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 3. Write it down Sometimes the best place for all your thoughts is on a piece of paper. Why do you have to clutter your mind with all the ideas, memories, thoughts that are constantly tripping one over another? Writing them down will help you clear some room in your head and find the best solutions for the problems you are facing. Journaling is like organizing your home: instead of having your things lying all over the place you find a perfect place for each of them, you also find things that you do not need and can easily throw away (like silly worries and doubts that get you nowhere.) Some people will benefit from a daily practice at first to get in the habit of writing. Others can journal when they feel overwhelmed or need to let some steam out. Find the strategy that works for you personally and stick to it.
Exercise 4 How will you journal? Decide whether you want to carry a notebook with you or whether you will create a file on your computer. You can also start a blog if you want to share your experiences and lessons learnt from them with a wide audience. Notebook
File on my computer
Blog
Use private online journal (http://penzu.com/)
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Other___________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Exercise 5 To start your journaling practice consider answering the following questions: 1. What worries me right now?
2. Why is it relevant or important?
3. Where do I see myself 5 (10, …) years from now?
4. Is my worry still relevant in the context of my long term vision?
5. What do I want to achieve by simplifying my life?
6. What is the most difficult area of my life that needs to be simplified?
7. What is one simple step that I can do today to simplify my life?
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 4. Organize your routines There are certain routines that we do during the day no matter how we feel and what we plan. We take showers, eat, brush our teeth, get ready for work, get homework done or help our kids with that homework etc. These routines can be huge stressors if they are not organized. Spend some time reassessing your routines. What do you do every day? How can this routine be simplified? Is there something that you can eliminate (like watching TV)? Here are some of the ideas that you can use for your routines: • get your breakfast ready the night before to have more time for prayer and meditation when you wake up; • unwind for 15-30 minutes every day when you get home from work by playing with your kids or just enjoying the silence; • limit cluttering routines like watching TV shows and news; • limit the time that you spend on Social Media to 15-20 minutes a day (or less); • use a slow cooker to fix a healthy supper for your family; • go for a walk right after you get back from home (to clear your mind, distress and get some exercise in); • start working out at home instead of going to the gym (to save the time in traffic); • make it a rule in your house that everybody washed his/her own dishes after each meal. This list can be endless depending on your lifestyle, your goals and of course your routines.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Exercise 6 1. Write down as many of your daily routines as possible (this exercise can take a few days because at first you will not be aware of all your routines because you do them on autopilot.) Daily Routine
Importance
How can it be simplified
2. Determine how important this routine is (eliminate it if it has zero importance) and brainstorm ideas on how to simplify this routine.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Surviving the Time Famine How many times a day do you usually use the word "busy"? I often catch myself being busy working, cleaning dishes, cooking meals, doing laundry, catching up on the email, running errands and on and on. It is so difficult to find time during the day when we are not actually busy. Our modern lifestyle creates time famine that we are forced to live with; there is never enough time for everything. Even if we manage to get most of our tasks and responsibilities done our personal time and time with our loved ones suffer. Just the other day I was doing my house chores in the evening. One of my three-year-old girls came up to me and wanted to play. By habit I told her that mama was busy and this is when it hit me. How can I be too busy for my child? Is it really important whether the laundry is done if my child does not get enough attention from me? Does it really matter how many articles I publish on my blog if I miss precious moments with my little girls? Staying busy became one of the social norms in the modern world. Many people enter a race of "Who can be the busiest today?" Our kids stay busy by going to all possible after-school activities. We take on social commitments and new tasks just to cram more accomplishments in our day. Unfortunately no matter how much we accomplish and how busy we are it does not bring us any happiness or joy. It fills us up with inner emptiness. It drains us. Makes us lose connection to the things that really matter.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 5. Stop getting things done There is nothing wrong with being productive but it is completely wrong to make productivity the sole purpose of your life. There might be times during the day when you need to be efficient (at work, while running errands, doing housework etc.) but there are also times when you need to relax. Be as diligent about your rest time as you are about your work hours. Exercise 7 1. Write down at least 5 activities that you enjoy and that bring you in a balanced state. 1._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Think of when you can practice these activities. Put this time in your daily planner or to-do list. Ask your loved ones to help you stick to your rest hours.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 6. Simplify your commitments Frequent enough we take on too many responsibilities that completely clutter our day. Distinguish between tasks and activities that are truly important to you (because they are a necessity or because you truly enjoy these activities) and get rid of all the clutter. Do you really have to go to your colleague's party? Do you really need to participate in your kids' fundraiser? It can be difficult to simplify our commitments if we try to adhere to social norms. Our life is full of tasks and responsibilities that we assume important only because they are traditional in our culture. Most of these social norms do nothing but clutter our life and waste our valuable resources. - TV and cable. Most people believe that it is a must to have a TV and cable in your house. Why? You can save hundreds of dollars a year if you just cancel your cable. You can free up several hours every day if you quit watching TV shows and news. You can spend this time pursuing your passion, enjoying your time with the family, working out or fixing a deliciously healthy meal for your family. If you are in the mood for a good movie – pop in a DVD and enjoy your movie without annoying commercial interruptions. - Cell phones can be quite useful in emergency situations but there is definitely a limit to how much they should be used. I personally have the bottom-line model which I got for free when I signed up for the cheapest cell phone plan. You can save your time if you stop reading and writing emails on your cell phone, checking social media updates and sending text messages. Actually staying connected and plugged-in all the time causes enormous amounts of stress and clutters your mind. Do yourself a favor, simplify your cell phone. - Car is another necessity that most people cannot imagine their lives without. Granted, it is difficult or even impossible to survive without a car in certain areas (I live in an area like that.) However, you can always limit the number of cars in your household (currently we have only one car in our family of four and this is enough for us.) Actually having only one car helps my family spend more time together. You can simplify your life even more if you don’t buy a new car. Considering how fast cars depreciate over time (a new car automatically loses at least $2000 of its value when you drive off the dealer's parking lot) it is always a better 16
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook idea to buy a good used car. By choosing a used car you will be able to avoid a car payment that sucks a lot of money from your budget over time. - Kids' activities. Some parents believe that their kids must be involved in every possible activity out there. I believe that some moms actually have an unofficial race of how many activities they can take their kids to. Let your children pick activities that they truly like and focus on those. If you teach your kids to find their focus from their early years then they will be able to maintain this focus in their adult life too. Don’t you wish your parents did that to you? - Don't always be part of the team. Social commitments can be a good thing sometimes but they can also be a huge waste of time. Fundraisers at your kids' school, social events at your work or at school, even family reunions can be a huge waste. There is no point in supporting causes that you do not feel strongly about or visiting events that are not interesting to you. We are often afraid of what others would think if we do not participate. Be brave enough to break away from the crowd and make room for what really matters in your life. Exercise 8 Write down the list of your social commitments. Which ones are you ready to let go of today? 1.________________________________ 5.________________________ 9._____________________________ 2.________________________________ 6._________________________ 10._____________________________ 3.________________________________ 7._________________________ 11._____________________________ 4. _______________________________ 8._________________________ 12._____________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Changing your mindset Your mindset is the only key when it comes to simplifying life. -
You can declutter your house but you will still want more stuff if you don’t change the way you treat things. Living with less starts by changing your habits, not by throwing away your possessions. Your attitude is the only source of motivation and inspiration that will help you simplify your life. Only if you transform your mindset first you will be able to get your loved ones on board with you.
The essence of simplicity is living from the core of your being. When we project to the world who we really are - our highest and our best self – our lives naturally become more balanced and simplified. You need to start simplifying and balancing your life by creating a mindset that lets you be your highest self.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 7. Find the beauty of less You have probably heard a lot of times the phrase “less is more” but you could never really tap into it deeply. I can understand how difficult it can be sometimes because I used to be the same way. For a long time of my life I was trying to get in great shape. I was putting a lot of my effort into exercise and diet but unfortunately all of my attempts left me feeling exhausted and still not satisfied with the result. A few months ago I discovered that I was finally completely happy with my body: my weight was perfect, I was in great shape, I was healthy (which is the main factor for me), I was feeling great and most importantly my daily schedule was very balanced. I was doing much less than ever before and yet the results were everything I have always wanted. There was a time in my life when I was teaching (and working out at the same time) 3 one-hour classes in a row (cardio, strength and Pilates) 3 days a week. It was the most physical activity I've ever had in my life. Of course I dropped weight really fast on that schedule but I looked more like a zombie-skeleton than a healthy-looking girl at that time. I was constantly hungry and had to drink a ton of coffee to keep my energy levels up. My husband had similar results when he was working out a lot. While he gained muscle mass (because he was doing mainly weight lifting) he was still constantly hungry (and hunger is definitely not a man's best friend) and he didn't have enough energy for the running that he loved so much. Today my workouts are just 30 minutes long and I exercise usually 5-6 days a week. Sometimes I skip my workouts if I am doing a lot of housework or working in the garden but it still helps me stay in great shape. Of course together with the changes to my workout schedule I made several changes to my daily diet (really simple changes in fact.) This is just one of the examples how less can be more for you. Here are some other ways that might help you change your mindset:
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Exercise 9 1.Check which of the following statements seem important or relevant to you. Try to add at least 3 more statements to this list that are meaningful to you. The less you have the more you will use what you own. The less you acquire the more you can pay attention to what you have. The less you have the more efficient you are – less time spent searching for things. The less you control the more you can let go. The less you have the more energy you will have – less energy is wasted caring for your possessions. The less you have the more room there is for new things to come into your life. The less time you spend watching TV the more time you will have to do things that you which you had more time for. The less you have the safer your home will be – too much clutter can be a fire hazard or an accident waiting to happen (especially if you have small kids.) The less you have the more time you will save cleaning. The less you talk the more you can listen. The less you have the more money you will save on storage. The less commitments you take on in life the more you can focus on your loved ones and yourself. The less stuff you want the more you can focus on pursuing your passion (a job that pays less and that you love will be more satisfying than a high-paying job that constantly leaves you stressed out and unhappy.)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
The less stress you have in life the more you can save on health care (80% of our medical expenditures are now stress-related. Clutter and overwhelming lifestyles cause the majority of this stress.) The less you have the more you can focus on your priorities and not the tasks of dealing with the junk in your life. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Write down the statements that you checked on a separate piece of paper (or make a file on your computer) and place this list somewhere where you can always see it. Remind yourself about this list when you feel the urge to take on new commitments, to buy new things (which are not really important) or when you need motivation to declutter your house.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 8. Find your motivation Like any other project or task simplicity requires motivation. You must have a strong reason why you want to simplify and constant motivation to keep you in track. Devoting one day to decluttering your house is relatively easy but making simplicity your motto in life is a completely different story. The motivation to simplify your life must start on the inside. Living in a clutter-free house or simplifying your schedule is not a sufficient reason to keep you on track. It is just a side benefit of life simplicity (just like weight loss is just a side benefit of a healthy diet and balanced workout regimen.) Motivation takes its roots in your life priorities. You find your core values and - BOOM! - all of a sudden simplifying your life becomes … simple. Exercise 10 1. Look at the list of priorities below. Check the ones that are important to you. If you checked a priority write down the reasons why you did it. Education ______________________________________________________________________________________ Wealth – Financial Security_________________________________________________________________________ Health _________________________________________________________________________________________ House (Clean, Orderly) ___________________________________________________________________________ Material Possessions (clothes, appliances, etc.) _______________________________________________________ Spirituality______________________________________________________________________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Family _____________________________________________________________________________________ Children ____________________________________________________________________________________ Friends _____________________________________________________________________________________ Good Looks – Attractiveness – Neat Appearance ____________________________________________________ Spouse/Boy(girl)friend/Companion _______________________________________________________________ Adventure ___________________________________________________________________________________ Recreation – Leisure Activities_____________________________________________________________________ Helping Others Less Fortunate_____________________________________________________________________ Job___________________________________________________________________________________________ Others:_______________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Write down 5 steps that you can make to simplify your life and to align it with your priorities. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 9. Start simplifying your life Are the steps that you took enough to simplify your life? Yes and no. It is a great start of the journey but it is definitely not the entire map. I know the questions that might be running through your head: How can I simplify my schedule (practically)? How can I get everything done during the day? How can I balance my life with a demanding job? How can I let go of things that I am emotionally attached to? How can I let go of memories that do not let me to move forward in life? How can I start simplifying my life is my loved ones do not support me? How can I tackle the huge task of decluttering the entire house? How can I simplify my finances? How can I devote some time to my passion (hobby) and still keep my schedule simple and organized? How can I declutter my house without being wasteful? How can I simplify my daily communications (especially with difficult people)? How can I find more energy to simplify my life? How can I simplify my (and my family’s) diet while still keeping it simple? How can I simplify my free time without turning into an organizing junkie? How can I make lasting (and yet simple) changes to my lifestyle to make it a truly balanced one?
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook If you are looking for the answers to these questions then I want to invite you to join a virtual life balance retreat Simplify Your Life with balance: 30 days to declutter your lifestyle or become a member of the Life Balance In-Group.
I will keep you posted about the upcoming retreat (just make sure to check your inbox in the next few days.) If you want more details about the Retreat or the In-Group please go to http://retreat.balanceinme.com/
I want to thank you for reading this workbook. I hope that it helped you find your inner source of simplicity and balance in life.
Sincerely yours, Anastasiya Goers
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Table of Contents Why are you looking for simplicity? .......................................................................................................................................... 3 Finding your Inner Simplicity ..................................................................................................................................................... 4 Step 1. Become aware....................................................................................................................................................... 5 Step 2. Allow yourself to be bored .................................................................................................................................... 9 Step 3. Write it down ...................................................................................................................................................... 10 Step 4. Organize your routines ........................................................................................................................................ 12 Surviving the Time Famine ...................................................................................................................................................... 14 Step 5. Stop getting things done .................................................................................................................................... 15 Step 6. Simplify your commitments................................................................................................................................. 16 Changing your mindset ........................................................................................................................................................... 18 Step 7. Find the beauty of less......................................................................................................................................... 19 Step 8. Find your motivation ........................................................................................................................................... 22 Step 9. Start simplifying your life ..................................................................................................................................... 24
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Why are you looking for simplicity? Where do you think Life Simplicity start? Does it start with clean and uncluttered closets? Does it start with a well-organized schedule? Does it start simple financial balance? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then I am afraid I have to disappoint you. Life Simplicity starts inside. It starts with uncluttered mind. It starts with emotional balance. It starts with a new attitude to life. Just think of it, a well-organized and minimalistic home won't bring you any satisfaction if you are troubled with negative or unhappy thoughts. A perfect schedule which has enough room for all your activities will be useless if you are reliving over and over old painful memories. External ways of simplifying life have no meaning at all if you cannot find your balance and inner simplicity… if you cannot change your attitude in life.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Finding your Inner Simplicity Why are you looking for simplicity in life? Are you doing it to have more time during your day? Are you doing it to have more room in your house? Perhaps the reason why most of us are looking for simplicity is because they need some inner peace and contentment. All of your external organizational efforts will be useless if you cannot simplify your inner world: your mind, your emotions, your thoughts. Actually we will never be able to grasp the concept of "living with less" if we neglect our inner selves. Without inner simplicity we will be left wanting more to fill up our inner emptiness. In fact, the more you simplify your life externally the more time you will have to deal with "your inner demons." Memories of the past ... restless thoughts ... strong emotions ... doubts ... This thought process can become suffocating over time if you do not find your inner strength and peace.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 1. Become aware Before you can find your inner simplicity you need to get to know yourself. There are so many things that we do on autopilot that often we have no logical reason to do them. Like buying a new gadget that you saw at the store or taking on another social commitment. Start questioning yourself "Why am I doing it? Why do I want it?' Soon you will notice that many desires that you have are not tempting anymore. Exercise 1. Think about today and try to list every activity that you did today. Can you make the entire list? 1.
7.
2.
8.
3.
9.
4.
10.
5.
11.
6.
12.
… Continue this list as needed. Now write down the reason why you did this activity (do not use reasons like “I always do it” or “It is my habit.”)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Awareness comes with practice and the best way of practicing it is through meditation. Choose your style of meditation and practice it on a daily basis. Soon you will notice that moments of awareness will come to you more frequently throughout your day. Exercise 2. 12 Simple Steps to Start Meditating 1. DO NOT DISTURB Find as peaceful a place as you can. If you have young children at home, you might invite them to create a Do Not Disturb notice for the door of the room where you meditate. They will know that this is your time, and will leave you in peace. Turn off phones, or any other sources of distraction. 2. NO WRONG WAY With this simple form of meditation, there are no rules for your mind to worry over. The saying I work with is that there is no wrong way to do spiritual exercises, the only wrong way is not to do them. Experiment with what works best for you. No rules to break. "If we don't go within, we go without." 3. REGULAR TIME -- DECIDE HOW LONG When you are beginning, it is helpful to choose a regular time day, evening or whenever is best for you. A 15 minutes session can be a good start. To be aware of the time, you might like to set an alarm, or have a watch by you.
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4. COMFORT
Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Wear comfortable clothing; make sure you are warm enough. You need to feel relaxed and safe. You might like to have a meditation blanket to feel cozy. 5. SIT UP -- NOT LIE DOWN If you lie down to meditate, the chances are that you may go off to sleep. Not a bad thing but you might have a better experience by sitting up in a comfortable chair, ideally with a head rest. 6. KEY WORD -- LOVE Bring to mind an image that evokes a feeling of loving. You could have a photo of your spouse, your child -- someone who inspires your love -- or a pet animal, by you. 7. LIGHT The powerful loving essence within us I have come to know as the Light. Light that assists us to see clearly and understand what is true for us. Light that lifts us above the heaviness we sometimes feel. Light that awakens us to joy. At the beginning of your meditation, invoke the presence of this Light as you let go of the concerns of the day. You might just say "Light for the highest good." 8. BREATHING EXERCISE Pay attention to your breathing. Watch your breath as it enters your body, and again as it leaves. Experiment with this technique. Breathe in to a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 4. Breathe out to a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4. Repeat this at your own rhythm. After doing the counting, you might watch your breathing, allowing yourself to breathe more deeply than perhaps you do normally. Slow deep breaths will help you to relax and let go; to become more peaceful.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook 9. OBSERVE As you do the breathing, notice how you feel. You might see colors or hear sounds. You may be aware of nothing in particular. It is all just fine. If busy thoughts come to mind, watch them like clouds passing across a blue sky. You do not need to engage with them. Let them be. They will pass. 10. NOTEPAD -- JOURNAL You may get a pressing thought, such as "pick up the dry cleaning". It is good to write those thoughts down on a notepad so they stop disturbing you. When you come out of meditation, then act on them to get them out of the way. You may receive insights that you wish to keep. A journal is a good place to record ideas, inspirations or guidance about a project you are working on. I find that if I do not write down these ideas, I will forget them, and they are often really useful to me. 11. STRETCH At the end of your meditation, stretch up so that once again your feet are "on the ground", and you are ready to re-engage in everyday life. 12. WATER Drink a glass of water -- this too will assist you back into ordinary life.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 2. Allow yourself to be bored Today we have completely mastered the art of conquering boredom. We jam-pack our schedule, call our friends, turn on the TV, surf the web or hang out on the social media websites, weed the yard, and the list goes on. By cramming so much stuff in our schedule we limit our personal time, the time that we can spend getting to know ourselves, becoming aware and dealing with our deep issues. It is okay to have 15-30 minutes during the day when you have absolutely nothing to do. Let yourself be still, connect with nature around you, pray ... find your inner peace. Exercise 3. Take a look at the activities that you listed in Exercise 1. Which ones of those activities can you eliminate from your daily schedule? Write them down.
Which activities bring the least benefit (in the sense of productivity or the pleasure that you get from this activity)? Write them down. How can you delegate these activities or minimize them – brainstorm a few ideas.
When can you find time to be still? Write down this time (in the mornings before everyone else wakes up, in the evening when you get back from work, before you go to bed etc.) below. Put this time in your daily planner, on your to-do list or make a big sign and put it on your refrigerator (or any other place where you will always see it.)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 3. Write it down Sometimes the best place for all your thoughts is on a piece of paper. Why do you have to clutter your mind with all the ideas, memories, thoughts that are constantly tripping one over another? Writing them down will help you clear some room in your head and find the best solutions for the problems you are facing. Journaling is like organizing your home: instead of having your things lying all over the place you find a perfect place for each of them, you also find things that you do not need and can easily throw away (like silly worries and doubts that get you nowhere.) Some people will benefit from a daily practice at first to get in the habit of writing. Others can journal when they feel overwhelmed or need to let some steam out. Find the strategy that works for you personally and stick to it.
Exercise 4 How will you journal? Decide whether you want to carry a notebook with you or whether you will create a file on your computer. You can also start a blog if you want to share your experiences and lessons learnt from them with a wide audience. Notebook
File on my computer
Blog
Use private online journal (http://penzu.com/)
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Other___________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Exercise 5 To start your journaling practice consider answering the following questions: 1. What worries me right now?
2. Why is it relevant or important?
3. Where do I see myself 5 (10, …) years from now?
4. Is my worry still relevant in the context of my long term vision?
5. What do I want to achieve by simplifying my life?
6. What is the most difficult area of my life that needs to be simplified?
7. What is one simple step that I can do today to simplify my life?
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 4. Organize your routines There are certain routines that we do during the day no matter how we feel and what we plan. We take showers, eat, brush our teeth, get ready for work, get homework done or help our kids with that homework etc. These routines can be huge stressors if they are not organized. Spend some time reassessing your routines. What do you do every day? How can this routine be simplified? Is there something that you can eliminate (like watching TV)? Here are some of the ideas that you can use for your routines: • get your breakfast ready the night before to have more time for prayer and meditation when you wake up; • unwind for 15-30 minutes every day when you get home from work by playing with your kids or just enjoying the silence; • limit cluttering routines like watching TV shows and news; • limit the time that you spend on Social Media to 15-20 minutes a day (or less); • use a slow cooker to fix a healthy supper for your family; • go for a walk right after you get back from home (to clear your mind, distress and get some exercise in); • start working out at home instead of going to the gym (to save the time in traffic); • make it a rule in your house that everybody washed his/her own dishes after each meal. This list can be endless depending on your lifestyle, your goals and of course your routines.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Exercise 6 1. Write down as many of your daily routines as possible (this exercise can take a few days because at first you will not be aware of all your routines because you do them on autopilot.) Daily Routine
Importance
How can it be simplified
2. Determine how important this routine is (eliminate it if it has zero importance) and brainstorm ideas on how to simplify this routine.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Surviving the Time Famine How many times a day do you usually use the word "busy"? I often catch myself being busy working, cleaning dishes, cooking meals, doing laundry, catching up on the email, running errands and on and on. It is so difficult to find time during the day when we are not actually busy. Our modern lifestyle creates time famine that we are forced to live with; there is never enough time for everything. Even if we manage to get most of our tasks and responsibilities done our personal time and time with our loved ones suffer. Just the other day I was doing my house chores in the evening. One of my three-year-old girls came up to me and wanted to play. By habit I told her that mama was busy and this is when it hit me. How can I be too busy for my child? Is it really important whether the laundry is done if my child does not get enough attention from me? Does it really matter how many articles I publish on my blog if I miss precious moments with my little girls? Staying busy became one of the social norms in the modern world. Many people enter a race of "Who can be the busiest today?" Our kids stay busy by going to all possible after-school activities. We take on social commitments and new tasks just to cram more accomplishments in our day. Unfortunately no matter how much we accomplish and how busy we are it does not bring us any happiness or joy. It fills us up with inner emptiness. It drains us. Makes us lose connection to the things that really matter.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 5. Stop getting things done There is nothing wrong with being productive but it is completely wrong to make productivity the sole purpose of your life. There might be times during the day when you need to be efficient (at work, while running errands, doing housework etc.) but there are also times when you need to relax. Be as diligent about your rest time as you are about your work hours. Exercise 7 1. Write down at least 5 activities that you enjoy and that bring you in a balanced state. 1._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3._______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Think of when you can practice these activities. Put this time in your daily planner or to-do list. Ask your loved ones to help you stick to your rest hours.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 6. Simplify your commitments Frequent enough we take on too many responsibilities that completely clutter our day. Distinguish between tasks and activities that are truly important to you (because they are a necessity or because you truly enjoy these activities) and get rid of all the clutter. Do you really have to go to your colleague's party? Do you really need to participate in your kids' fundraiser? It can be difficult to simplify our commitments if we try to adhere to social norms. Our life is full of tasks and responsibilities that we assume important only because they are traditional in our culture. Most of these social norms do nothing but clutter our life and waste our valuable resources. - TV and cable. Most people believe that it is a must to have a TV and cable in your house. Why? You can save hundreds of dollars a year if you just cancel your cable. You can free up several hours every day if you quit watching TV shows and news. You can spend this time pursuing your passion, enjoying your time with the family, working out or fixing a deliciously healthy meal for your family. If you are in the mood for a good movie – pop in a DVD and enjoy your movie without annoying commercial interruptions. - Cell phones can be quite useful in emergency situations but there is definitely a limit to how much they should be used. I personally have the bottom-line model which I got for free when I signed up for the cheapest cell phone plan. You can save your time if you stop reading and writing emails on your cell phone, checking social media updates and sending text messages. Actually staying connected and plugged-in all the time causes enormous amounts of stress and clutters your mind. Do yourself a favor, simplify your cell phone. - Car is another necessity that most people cannot imagine their lives without. Granted, it is difficult or even impossible to survive without a car in certain areas (I live in an area like that.) However, you can always limit the number of cars in your household (currently we have only one car in our family of four and this is enough for us.) Actually having only one car helps my family spend more time together. You can simplify your life even more if you don’t buy a new car. Considering how fast cars depreciate over time (a new car automatically loses at least $2000 of its value when you drive off the dealer's parking lot) it is always a better 16
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook idea to buy a good used car. By choosing a used car you will be able to avoid a car payment that sucks a lot of money from your budget over time. - Kids' activities. Some parents believe that their kids must be involved in every possible activity out there. I believe that some moms actually have an unofficial race of how many activities they can take their kids to. Let your children pick activities that they truly like and focus on those. If you teach your kids to find their focus from their early years then they will be able to maintain this focus in their adult life too. Don’t you wish your parents did that to you? - Don't always be part of the team. Social commitments can be a good thing sometimes but they can also be a huge waste of time. Fundraisers at your kids' school, social events at your work or at school, even family reunions can be a huge waste. There is no point in supporting causes that you do not feel strongly about or visiting events that are not interesting to you. We are often afraid of what others would think if we do not participate. Be brave enough to break away from the crowd and make room for what really matters in your life. Exercise 8 Write down the list of your social commitments. Which ones are you ready to let go of today? 1.________________________________ 5.________________________ 9._____________________________ 2.________________________________ 6._________________________ 10._____________________________ 3.________________________________ 7._________________________ 11._____________________________ 4. _______________________________ 8._________________________ 12._____________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Changing your mindset Your mindset is the only key when it comes to simplifying life. -
You can declutter your house but you will still want more stuff if you don’t change the way you treat things. Living with less starts by changing your habits, not by throwing away your possessions. Your attitude is the only source of motivation and inspiration that will help you simplify your life. Only if you transform your mindset first you will be able to get your loved ones on board with you.
The essence of simplicity is living from the core of your being. When we project to the world who we really are - our highest and our best self – our lives naturally become more balanced and simplified. You need to start simplifying and balancing your life by creating a mindset that lets you be your highest self.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 7. Find the beauty of less You have probably heard a lot of times the phrase “less is more” but you could never really tap into it deeply. I can understand how difficult it can be sometimes because I used to be the same way. For a long time of my life I was trying to get in great shape. I was putting a lot of my effort into exercise and diet but unfortunately all of my attempts left me feeling exhausted and still not satisfied with the result. A few months ago I discovered that I was finally completely happy with my body: my weight was perfect, I was in great shape, I was healthy (which is the main factor for me), I was feeling great and most importantly my daily schedule was very balanced. I was doing much less than ever before and yet the results were everything I have always wanted. There was a time in my life when I was teaching (and working out at the same time) 3 one-hour classes in a row (cardio, strength and Pilates) 3 days a week. It was the most physical activity I've ever had in my life. Of course I dropped weight really fast on that schedule but I looked more like a zombie-skeleton than a healthy-looking girl at that time. I was constantly hungry and had to drink a ton of coffee to keep my energy levels up. My husband had similar results when he was working out a lot. While he gained muscle mass (because he was doing mainly weight lifting) he was still constantly hungry (and hunger is definitely not a man's best friend) and he didn't have enough energy for the running that he loved so much. Today my workouts are just 30 minutes long and I exercise usually 5-6 days a week. Sometimes I skip my workouts if I am doing a lot of housework or working in the garden but it still helps me stay in great shape. Of course together with the changes to my workout schedule I made several changes to my daily diet (really simple changes in fact.) This is just one of the examples how less can be more for you. Here are some other ways that might help you change your mindset:
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
Exercise 9 1.Check which of the following statements seem important or relevant to you. Try to add at least 3 more statements to this list that are meaningful to you. The less you have the more you will use what you own. The less you acquire the more you can pay attention to what you have. The less you have the more efficient you are – less time spent searching for things. The less you control the more you can let go. The less you have the more energy you will have – less energy is wasted caring for your possessions. The less you have the more room there is for new things to come into your life. The less time you spend watching TV the more time you will have to do things that you which you had more time for. The less you have the safer your home will be – too much clutter can be a fire hazard or an accident waiting to happen (especially if you have small kids.) The less you have the more time you will save cleaning. The less you talk the more you can listen. The less you have the more money you will save on storage. The less commitments you take on in life the more you can focus on your loved ones and yourself. The less stuff you want the more you can focus on pursuing your passion (a job that pays less and that you love will be more satisfying than a high-paying job that constantly leaves you stressed out and unhappy.)
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook
The less stress you have in life the more you can save on health care (80% of our medical expenditures are now stress-related. Clutter and overwhelming lifestyles cause the majority of this stress.) The less you have the more you can focus on your priorities and not the tasks of dealing with the junk in your life. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Write down the statements that you checked on a separate piece of paper (or make a file on your computer) and place this list somewhere where you can always see it. Remind yourself about this list when you feel the urge to take on new commitments, to buy new things (which are not really important) or when you need motivation to declutter your house.
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 8. Find your motivation Like any other project or task simplicity requires motivation. You must have a strong reason why you want to simplify and constant motivation to keep you in track. Devoting one day to decluttering your house is relatively easy but making simplicity your motto in life is a completely different story. The motivation to simplify your life must start on the inside. Living in a clutter-free house or simplifying your schedule is not a sufficient reason to keep you on track. It is just a side benefit of life simplicity (just like weight loss is just a side benefit of a healthy diet and balanced workout regimen.) Motivation takes its roots in your life priorities. You find your core values and - BOOM! - all of a sudden simplifying your life becomes … simple. Exercise 10 1. Look at the list of priorities below. Check the ones that are important to you. If you checked a priority write down the reasons why you did it. Education ______________________________________________________________________________________ Wealth – Financial Security_________________________________________________________________________ Health _________________________________________________________________________________________ House (Clean, Orderly) ___________________________________________________________________________ Material Possessions (clothes, appliances, etc.) _______________________________________________________ Spirituality______________________________________________________________________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Family _____________________________________________________________________________________ Children ____________________________________________________________________________________ Friends _____________________________________________________________________________________ Good Looks – Attractiveness – Neat Appearance ____________________________________________________ Spouse/Boy(girl)friend/Companion _______________________________________________________________ Adventure ___________________________________________________________________________________ Recreation – Leisure Activities_____________________________________________________________________ Helping Others Less Fortunate_____________________________________________________________________ Job___________________________________________________________________________________________ Others:_______________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Write down 5 steps that you can make to simplify your life and to align it with your priorities. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook Step 9. Start simplifying your life Are the steps that you took enough to simplify your life? Yes and no. It is a great start of the journey but it is definitely not the entire map. I know the questions that might be running through your head: How can I simplify my schedule (practically)? How can I get everything done during the day? How can I balance my life with a demanding job? How can I let go of things that I am emotionally attached to? How can I let go of memories that do not let me to move forward in life? How can I start simplifying my life is my loved ones do not support me? How can I tackle the huge task of decluttering the entire house? How can I simplify my finances? How can I devote some time to my passion (hobby) and still keep my schedule simple and organized? How can I declutter my house without being wasteful? How can I simplify my daily communications (especially with difficult people)? How can I find more energy to simplify my life? How can I simplify my (and my family’s) diet while still keeping it simple? How can I simplify my free time without turning into an organizing junkie? How can I make lasting (and yet simple) changes to my lifestyle to make it a truly balanced one?
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Simplify Your Life with Balance Workbook If you are looking for the answers to these questions then I want to invite you to join a virtual life balance retreat Simplify Your Life with balance: 30 days to declutter your lifestyle or become a member of the Life Balance In-Group.
I will keep you posted about the upcoming retreat (just make sure to check your inbox in the next few days.) If you want more details about the Retreat or the In-Group please go to http://retreat.balanceinme.com/
I want to thank you for reading this workbook. I hope that it helped you find your inner source of simplicity and balance in life.
Sincerely yours, Anastasiya Goers
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