Wedding Guide A woman's wedding day is one of the
Wedding Guide A woman’s wedding day is one of the most important days of her life, and every bride wants that day to be perfect. The planning leading up to the wedding involves making lots of decisions, from wedding theme and colors to the perfect dresses for the wedding party. The following guide will give you some tips to make sure your wedding is as spectacular as you’ve dreamed. Choosing the perfect wedding dress It really is all about the dress, isn’t it? In most weddings, the bride’s dress dictates what everyone else in the bridal party will wear. It’s best to start looking for a wedding dress as soon as possible after the wedding date is set. It may take up to six months or longer to get a dress in your size or even more to custom design the perfect frock. Allow at least three months for alterations. Do your research before you even enter a store. You can save time and money by having an idea of what your dream dress should look like. There are four basics to wedding dresses that you should consider before shopping.
Silhouette or cut—This is the shape of the bodice (bust line) and skirt. They are often dictated by body type, but just because you have curves doesn’t mean you can’t look stunning in a style that fits well. Fabric—The materials the dress is made of, like lace, satin, tulle, etc., are important to have considered. Length—Do you want a traditional gown with a long train or a cute, casual mini? A lot of this will be determined by what kind of wedding you are going to have. You’ll want to forgo a train if you’re having a destination beach wedding. You may choose to have a tea-length (ankle length) dress if you are planning a simple affair. Color—Wedding dresses traditionally come in several shades of white, ivory and ecru. Some brides today are choosing champagne, pink or silver. Some designs are white dresses with colored embellishments, like red, black or teal. You can add a little color to your wedding dress with a sash or even a flower at the waist.
Think about the season The next thing to consider when choosing a wedding dress is the season of the wedding day. You don’t want to freeze in fall or winter or be too hot during a summer or spring outdoor wedding. Note the weight of the dress, because more weight means more warmth.
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If your heart is set on wearing a strapless gown for your fall or winter wedding, consider a design that includes a jacket or wrap for fall, or a faux-fur stole for winter. Spring styles lend themselves to floral lace and ruffles. Less is more in summer wedding dresses, especially if you are planning an outdoor ceremony. Where to start If you haven’t set a budget for your wedding gown and accessories, do it before you shop. A rule of thumb is that the wedding gown should cost between 10 and 15 percent of the wedding budget. Some brides will go higher because the dress is perhaps the most important item of the day. However, not every bride can afford, or even wants to spend, $40,000 on a gown. It’s amazing how many dresses can be found under $1,000, and thrifty brides-to-be even find gorgeous dresses on clearance for under $100. If you are convinced you must have a designer gown, you need to set your budget somewhere between the $5,000$10,000 range, if not more. Don’t forget to add extra for your alterations, shoes, veil and other accessories. Major cities have dozens of options to choose from for bridal apparel. The most important thing to do is to pick a salon that you trust. Make sure that the store has been around for a long time and has a good reputation. The last thing you need before your big day is for the retailer to shut down before you get your dress. With that said, ALWAYS pay for your wedding dress with a credit card so that you can cancel the transaction if something goes wrong. Be very clear about what happens if you have to return the dress. Some stores will not allow returns while others will charge you a percentage of the original cost. Another rip-off to avoid is a consulting fee. If the store asks you to pay a consulting fee, even if it will be discounted off your dress, leave. There are plenty of salons that will be happy for your business without you paying to try on dresses. Florists and other wedding industry vendors may ask for this fee upfront as well. Work with someone else. Designers You can get an idea of what is trending in weddings styles by paying attention to couture designers. Even if your budget doesn’t allow tens of thousands of dollars for a designer wedding dress, you should look at the styles to get an idea of what you want your perfect dress to look like. Today’s hottest wedding dress designers include:
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Adele Wechsler: If you are passionate about preserving the environment, you should check out her line of eco-friendly gowns with vegetable dyes, use of fabric remnants and hemp. Wechsler’s designs are less traditional but very feminine, with sheer fabric overlays and appliqued floral motifs. Alvina Valenta (for JLM Couture): It’s all about the details with this designer. Valenta’s gowns are well-known for their hand-rolled roses and hand-beading. Amsale (for Christos Bridal): Are you a woman who wants a simple style? Amsale is for you. The collection features clean lines without any fussiness. Amsale often uses touches of color and is well-known for the “blue sash” dress that became popular several years ago. Badgley Mischka: This collection is inspired by vintage Hollywood glamour, which is nothing new. What is different is that these gowns are also designed for comfort. Carolina Herrera: This fashion icon creates contemporary spins on the traditional, full-skirted bridal gown. Christos: The collection includes Amsale’s simple styles as well as Christos’ princess-like designs. Christos is known for use of fine silks, organza and French lace. David Fielden: If you are a bride that wants something as far away from a princess-style ball gown that you can find, Fielden is right for you. His line includes minis, layered designs and one-shoulder styles that are anything but traditional. Justina McCaffrey: Her line is famous for its flow and movement. Expect Swarovski crystals, silk, draped bodices and ruffles. Lazaro (for JLM Couture): Vintage styles are the core of the collection. Details include hand embroidery and beading. Manuel Mota (for The Pronovias Group): Mota’s designs include interesting uses of tulle, empire waist sashes and chiffon flowers. He is well-known for cutting-edge necklines, including key-hole and asymmetrical. Reem Acra: Noted for incredibly stunning details, Acra uses intricate embroidery, Swarovski crystals and seed pearls to create a unique look. Valentino: A long-time staple in wedding gowns, Valentino still delivers originality with classic elegance. Vera Wang: Wang has long been the queen of wedding couture. Whether it’s an outdoor wedding or a formal cathedral setting, you can’t go wrong. Vera Wang is the ultimate in bridal fashion, so expect to pay lavishly.
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Today’s Wedding Dress Silhouettes Most wedding dresses fall into several different styles, or silhouettes. Each silhouette accentuates different parts of the figure. Here is a rundown of the most popular silhouettes:
A-Line—This classic curve minimizer gently flares to create an “A” shape to the hem. Ball Gown—A formal wedding style that features a figuring-hugging bodice with a full, floor-length skirt. Empire—One of the most forgiving styles, the empire-waist silhouette features a bodice that ends just under the bust line and is loose over the torso and hips. Mermaid—A form-fitting style where the skirt dramatically flares from the knees. Sheath—This slender-fitting style is a classic straight column that elongates the body. Trumpet—A less severe cousin to the mermaid style, this silhouette features a skirt flaring from the mid-thigh.
Dos and Don’ts by Body Type Every bride wants a dress that is flattering to her figure, so it is important to consider your body type when choosing a dress. Trust the salesperson. She will work with you to find the best dresses for your body. Wedding dresses look very different on the rack than they do on your body, so don’t be afraid of trying on a dress that may not be something you think you will like. That may be the perfect one! The following are different body types and dress style tips that will be the most flattering:
Rectangle. You are a rectangle if don’t have a very defined waist and your shoulders and hips are about the same in width. Do: Define your waist with a colored sash or beaded waistband. You will want to draw attention away from your waist, so go upward with a one-shoulder design or V-neck, or downward with a mermaid design or heavily embellished hem. Don’t: Stay away from sheaths and halter styles. They will accentuate your torso. Apple. You are an apple if your torso is the widest area of your body. Do: Elongate your silhouette. You can achieve this by choose A-line or empire styles. Draw attention to your bust with V-neck or sweetheart necklines. Consider showing off some leg with a high-low hem or a short dress. Don’t: Avoid mermaid and trumpet styles. They will accentuate your torso. Skip ball gowns too. They won’t elongate you. If you choose a strapless design, be sure to find something that curves. Straight across strapless designs will de-emphasize your bust. 4
Pear. Pears have smaller bust and shoulders and more curves in the hips and butt. Do: Draw attention from your hips with a ball gown or A-line style. A number of necklines will also flatter your figure by drawing the eye upwards. Choose a one-shoulder, scoop V-neck, strapless or bandeau style. Don’t: Stay away from high necks and halters because they won’t accentuate your bust. Avoid clingy designs, like sheaths, trumpets and mermaids. They will draw attention to the wrong part of your body. Hourglass. Your body has hips and bust in proportion with each other and a small waist. Do: Accentuate your waist with a sash or jeweled waist band. You can wear nearly every silhouette, but go with the mermaid, trumpet or sheath to show off your form. Don’t: Stay away from empire styles. They won’t define your waist and make you appear shorter. Maternity Styles. Things have changed since your mother or grandmother got married, and that includes wedding dresses specifically made for mothers-to-be. An empire-waist or A-line gown would also be a good choice to camouflage a baby bump.
Of course, the body-type guide is general. There are curvy women who can completely rock a column or trumpet design dress if it fits properly. Take along a family member or friend who will tell you honestly what makes you look the most radiant. Have them take photos of you in your favorites so that you can compare them to other finds in other stores. The wedding dress shop will have experienced bridal consultants who will help you in your search for a perfect dress. Trust their opinion. Part of what you are paying for when you buy a wedding dress is the consultant’s expertise. How do you know if a dress is “the one?” There really are brides who choose the first dress they try on, but that’s not very common. You will probably try on dozens of dresses in your quest. But what do you do when you can’t decide? Here are some tips to help.
If you don’t want to take it off, it’s the one. If you compare all the other dresses to it, it’s the perfect choice. If your family member or friend who is with you loves it, and so do you, it’s the right dress. Some women wait until they find the dress that makes them cry when they see themselves in it. If you aren’t sure, bring another family member or friend to look at your favorite. If you aren’t convinced, keep looking. But eventually one will separate itself from the crowd. 5
Many brides pay for their dresses the day they find it, and it’s an important thing to do to make sure you get your gown in time for the wedding. More cautious women sleep on the decision for a few days before pulling out the credit card. Knock-off dresses So you want a $10,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and you only have a $5,000 budget. Should you chance buying a knockoff dress from an online retailer for $200? It depends on whether you are willing to take a gamble. Knock-off dresses are inconsistent in quality. If you expect an exact replica of the $10,000 gown, you will be disappointed. If you don’t mind cheaper material, glued on beads or appliques not precisely centered, then go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a dress that isn’t perfectly made. The only one who will probably notice will be you. If you choose to go this route, be sure to order the dress far enough in advance that you can buy another if it doesn’t meet your specifications. Some women have bought knockoffs and had them embellished or repaired as well. However, if you must have perfection, check consignment shops. At the most a bride wears the gown for five or six hours, so nearly all second-hand gowns are very close to brand new. If you find your dream dress, it will cost half, or even less, than retail. For the last-minute bride Face it. There are simply just some situations that don’t lend themselves to a six- to nine-month lead time for a wedding dress to be made and altered. That doesn’t mean you can’t have the dress of your dreams. You simply have to know what to do.
Buy off the rack. This is a fast option because all you have to do is have the dress altered. If there isn’t anything in your size, ask the store to call the designer and see if they have a dress in your size. Ask about returned stock. Sometimes dresses get returned. This is a great solution if you are a size that is either too small or too large to wear an off-therack dress. Add embellishments to a nearly perfect dress. So you find an off-the-rack dress that is almost perfect. Have the alternations department add or remove embellishments. Look for a last-minute wedding planner. In large cities, you will find there are wedding planners that specialize in elopements. They know all the tricks to pulling off getting the gown you want in record time.
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Alterations It is rare that a dress doesn’t need alterations. The hem may be too long, or perhaps the waist needs to be let out a little. Allow approximately three months for alternations to make sure your dress gets delivered on time for the big day. Here is everything you need to know about the most common alterations:
Bustle: If you have a train and plan to wear your dress during the reception, hooks or sometimes hidden snaps are added so that the train can be folded and attached to the back of the dress. Your folded train is called a bustle. Bust: This is very important if you are wearing a strapless dress. It needs to fit tightly through the bust, but not too tight. Hem: Probably the most common alternation, the hem has to be adjusted to reach the floor without dragging in your bridal shoes.
Remember, it is a lot less expensive to make alternations to a large dress than to try to alter a small dress. If you are planning to lose a few pounds, be sure to go with a larger size anyway. If you plan to lose a significant amount of weight, buy the dress slightly smaller than your current, just in case you don’t reach your target. If you do reach your target weight, ask if you can exchange the dress before alternations are made. You may have to pay a rush order, but you’ll be happier with the result. Accessories The dress is a big decision, but you’ll also have to decide on accessories. You’ll need shoes, jewelry and a headpiece, if you choose to wear one. You may also need to buy petticoats, a bustier or other foundation lingerie. Your bridal consultant where you buy your wedding dress, as well as your friends and family, can help you make these decisions. Shoes: Whether you go with a bejeweled pump or a floral sandal, your shoes are important. You want to have comfort as well as style. Your wedding has a lot to do with the style of shoe you choose. Go with that platform heal if you are having a short indoor ceremony and a sit-down meal. You may consider something more comfortable if you’ll have dancing at the reception. A spring or summer beach or garden wedding calls for shoes easy to walk in, like sparkling sandals or beaded ballet flats. Some brides even thumb their nose at convention and wear glittery sneakers or flip flops under their dress. Look for shoes that can be dyed. Even white wedding gowns are different shades, and most satin shoes can be dyed to perfectly match the bridal dress as well as the bridesmaids’ dresses if you want. 7
Headpiece: If you choose to wear a headpiece, you’ll need to decide how you will be wearing your hair first. Is the back of your wedding dress lace or have a backless? You should wear your hair up to show it off. Choose a headpiece that coordinates with an embellishment on your gown. Combs, flowers and pins look great with longer hair. Tiaras are perfect with an up-do. Headbands look gorgeous with shorter hair. Then you need to decide if you want a veil attached to your hair embellishments. Veils come in many shapes and sizes. There are beautiful lace mantillas to cathedral lengths of tulle. What you may not know is that you can choose several veils as part of your headpiece. Here are the traditional veil types. Many of them can be worn alone or together. Cage—Ever notice women in 1940s movies wearing hats with veils that range from right below the eyes to the chin? That is a cage veil. It can be worn with a hat or fascinator, or with a flower or other embellishment. It would work perfectly with a vintage-style gown.
Blusher—This is the shorter veil that the bride traditionally wears over her face as she walks down the aisle. Her father will lift the veil off her face before she turns to face the bridegroom. It is typically worn along with a longer veil and is removed before the reception. Short Veil—This option typically falls between the shoulder and elbow. It is lightweight and looks more modern than a traditional veil. It is the perfect style for a tea-length or short wedding dress. Mid-Length or Fingertip Veil—A veil in this category falls between the elbow and the fingertips. It usually is designed with multiple layers and is available in multiple shapes. It is a versatile choice, working with many dress styles. Choose an elbow length if your gown has a beaded or bejeweled waistline to highlight it. Cathedral or Chapel Length—These styles are for the bride who wants the fairy tale wedding with the long, flowing train. It is often paired with shorter veils. These veils are usually removed before the reception so the bride can move more easily. A cathedral-length train is gorgeous with virtually any gown.
Here are some other things to consider when you are choosing a veil:
Shape—Veils can be a wide variety of shapes, from square to round and everything in between. Choose one that best fits your dress silhouette and your face shape. One popular trend is pairing simple modern dresses with narrow veils. Embellishments—Veils can be beaded with crystals or pearls. A current trend is to add lace at the edges.
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Color—Adding a hint of colored lace or other embellishment is becoming more popular. This can be also be accomplished with colored piping or a ribbon trim. A layer or two of colored tulle can be added for a subtle color effect.
Jewelry One of the rules of thumb for accessorizing your wedding dress is that less is more, especially when it comes to jewelry. The more embellishments your dress has, the less jewelry you will need. Depending on your dress, all you may need is a stunning pair of drop earrings. Before you buy jewelry, use a piece of string to measure around your neck as your wearing your gown. This will help you buy the perfect necklace. Put another string around your wrist, and simply add one inch to get the perfect bracelet size. Go with simple. You don’t want your jewelry to overpower your dress. If you love tradition, you can’t go wrong with a simple strand of white pearls with matching earrings and bracelet. If you have a simple dress without crystals, consider a single diamond or crystal necklace and earrings. Don’t be afraid to wear color! Some women make their “something blue” sapphire or blue topaz jewelry. Feel free to wear gemstones that complement your wedding colors or bouquet. Lingerie Most wedding dresses require a little added structure from the lingerie department at your bridal salon. Foundation undergarments accent your curves, smooth your body and provide support for your figure. Full-skirted gowns will need some help to achieve the full shape brides desire. First stop, slips. If you have a full-skirted gown, you will need a petticoat, or structured slip, to create the bell shape of your gown. These are typically half-slips, which means it starts at your hips. Slips aren’t just for ball gowns, though. Mermaid and trumpet styles may also require a special slip to create the fullness of your hemline. For column styles, choose a control top half-slip that holds your tummy in. Next, the bra department. If you have a strapless or one-shoulder dress, you may choose a bustier, also called a long-line bra. This bra is strapless and holds you in down to your waist. Pairing a bustier with a slip helps to smooth any bumps at the waist caused by the slip, giving you a perfectly smooth silhouette. Bustiers are available in backless styles as well. Be sure whatever bra you wear fits properly so that any straps stay secure and that there are no bumps.
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If you are a larger woman, you may choose a body shaper to give you all over support. Shapers are support panties that may extend as high as your bra line to mid-thigh. They conceal panty lines under clingy dresses and support your mid-section. You can buy them to minimize your butt or with padding to maximize your rear end. For an even smoother silhouette, choose a shaper body suit that includes the bra. Your Bridesmaids Now that you know your look, it’s time to think about the wedding party. First, it’s time to ask your friends and family to be bridesmaids if haven’t already done so. Some women choose to invite their potential wedding party to lunch and ask them. Others take a more creative approach – like sending a card along with gourmet cookies, or by sending the earrings you want the bridal party to wear. One creative bride-to-be sent a framed picture of herself with each bridesmaid along with a personalized card. Bridesmaids dresses It is customary for the wedding party to pay for their own dresses, shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup. They are also responsible for the travel and hotel expenses. However, be tactful. If you’ve chosen expensive dresses and know that it will be a financial burden on your friends and family members, offer to pay for the dress or pay half of the costs. Some brides arrange for a payment plan for the bridesmaids dresses. Another way to solve this issue is to have the whole wedding party go with you to shop for their dresses. How much should the bridesmaids dresses cost? It depends on what the bride wants. They can vary widely, depending on the wedding. Bargain dresses may be $50 while a gown for a formal wedding could be $300. Just like with the wedding dress, it is important to choose your bridesmaids dresses about six months before the wedding day. This will give your wedding party time to have alterations performed if they need them. Everyone has a horror story about a bridesmaid’s dress they hate that is hanging in the back of their closet. If that’s happened to you, you may be tempted to pick out a dress style that your bridesmaids can wear again. Don’t do it. Choose what you want them to wear, and choose something that complements your dress and your wedding. It is your day, after all. If you don’t feel like you need all the dresses to be the same style, allow them to choose a dress they like in the appropriate color and length, as long as you have final approval. Bridesmaids are all shapes, sizes and colorings. Remember that you can add sleeves to a strapless dress or a jacket for an older or heavier member of your wedding party. 10
All the dresses don’t have to be exactly the same or even the same color. And don’t panic if one of your bridesmaids is pregnant. Just like with bridal dresses, today you will find cute maternity styles for wedding party dresses. Be sure to consider how far along she will be in her pregnancy as you make dress decisions. Hair and Makeup Some brides enjoy having a morning with her girlfriends together at a salon getting their hair and makeup done together. Others allow their wedding party to do their own makeup and hair. If you are having a professional do your hair and makeup, schedule some extra time afterward for your wedding party to have theirs done as well. Sometimes the bridesmaids will decide at the last minute to have a professional help them and the extra time will allow them to do so. Mother of the Bride/Groom Now it’s time to think about your mother and your future mother-in-law. They will want to look special on your wedding day as well. Help them choose ensembles that coordinate with the colors of the wedding. Provide fabric swatches if you have them or photos of the bridesmaids dresses. Coordinating color is important. You don’t want your mom wearing something too close to your bridesmaids dresses, but a dress that harmonizes with them. The mothers should wear dresses that are appropriate to the setting. If you are having a formal evening wedding, long dresses are appropriate. If you are having a morning beach wedding, they can choose a shorter skirt. Afternoon weddings are typically semiformal, so cocktail attire is appropriate. The most important thing to remember is that the mothers should wear something that makes them feel comfortable and beautiful. If possible, take both of them shopping to find dresses. Coordination is important, especially if they live in the same area of the country. You don’t want them inadvertently buying the same outfit. How to Look and Feel Radiant on Your Wedding Day The days and weeks leading up to your wedding are stressful. It’s important that you take some time to prepare yourself both physically and mentally for the big day. You can have the most beautiful wedding ever, but if you feel self-conscious, it can take away from your special day. Have an attitude adjustment Everybody wishes that they had toned their arms more or lost a few pounds before the wedding. Most of the time, brides set unrealistic goals for these things. That can 11
sometimes cause the bride to feel self-conscious about her body. That’s why it is important a couple of weeks before your wedding to start working on your attitude. The first and foremost thing to remember is that your future husband loves you. He chose to marry you even if you think you aren’t perfect. He is not going to be thinking you should have lost more weight as you are walking down the aisle. He’s going to be mesmerized at how beautiful you look. The guests are all there because they love and support you and your future husband. A wedding is one of the only days in our lives when the people who love us are all together simply to show us how much they care and how happy they are for us. Focus on that rather than those things about your body you are unhappy with. Eat healthy It’s true that you are what you eat. Starting a couple of weeks before the wedding, make sure that you are eating a diet with lots of fruits and vegetables and low-fat protein. You’ll feel good and have the energy you need for your wedding day. Book a spa day A couple of days before the wedding, relax and have a spa day. Get a massage. Book that manicure and pedicure. If you want a facial, get it a week before your wedding day to avoid any redness. The night before Most brides have learned from their friends’ mistakes that having a night on the town with the girls is not the best way to spend the night before your wedding. You need sleep to avoid being puffy and having dark circles under your eyes. Try to get at least eight hours of sleep the night before. Today, rehearsal dinners are typically held the night before the wedding. Because everyone will be celebrating, be sure to drink as much water as you do alcoholic beverages, and limit yourself to two or three drinks. You don’t want to be hung over, plus staying hydrated helps your skin. Tattoo tips You may love the tattoo on your shoulder, but it may not be appropriate with your wedding dress, especially if you are having a formal wedding. Here are some easy steps to cover your tattoo for the big day:
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Buy full-coverage concealer. The best brands are Dermablend and Covermark. You will need three colors—one that perfectly matches your skin tone, one a shade lighter, and one two shades lighter Buy a concealer brush. Make sure it is a stiff brush because the trick is to cover the tattoo without extending the makeup to the surrounding skin. Start with the lightest color to form a base. Only apply to the tattoo. Next, add the next-lightest color, blending it in with the base color. Finally, apply the concealer that is your skin tone. Lightly dust with translucent powder using a powder puff.
Wedding day makeup If time and money allows, go professional for your wedding day makeup. A makeup professional can give you the perfect look you are going for, whether it is natural or dramatic. If you decide to do your own makeup, be sure to overdo your blush and eye makeup. Going a little bit more heavy-handed than usual will keep you from looking washed out in your photos. Your wedding commandments Everybody has their personal pet peeves about weddings, and you will have some of your own. Instead of seething with rage that your uncle wore flip flops and shorts to your formal wedding, try these tips:
Communicate your wishes. Want your bridesmaids tattoo-free? Wish your friends would leave their babies at home? Is it important that your guests dress appropriately? Then tell them. Include information on the wedding invitation. Make sure that your wedding party is aware of your wishes. Call and tell everyone again before the big day. Be realistic. Some people are not going to obey your commandments. Your mother in law may still wear the replica of your wedding dress in another color. Your brother-in-law may still show up drunk. This is the most important day in your life, not theirs. Remind yourself what the day is really about. You are going to get to live with the man you love for the rest of your life! You’ve found your soul mate, your partner, your rock. You won’t remember your cousin breast-feeding in the back of the church 20 years down the road. And if you do, you will laugh about it.
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How to Deal with Drama Every woman wants her wedding day to be perfect, but the fact of the matter is that most weddings have drama. Whether it’s your maid of honor or a wardrobe malfunction, here are some tips to help you deal with problems that may arise:
Your shoes hurt your feet. We all sometimes chose fashion over function when it comes to footwear, but your wedding day is not the time to be in pain. A panty liner or double-sided tape will keep your feet from slipping around in your shoes. Getting a blister? You can buy clear band aids especially designed for blisters. Send someone to the drugstore. You need to go to the bathroom. Wedding dresses are notoriously difficult to manage when you have to go. Most brides have their maid of honor hold the skirt up in the bathroom. One bride said it was easier to sit on the toilet backwards. The key is to go before you put on your dress. This is also a good reason for having a different dress for the reception. If you have a small bladder, changing may be your best option. The bustle looked easy to do at the bridal store. If you plan to wear your wedding dress at the reception, most likely your alterations included hooks or snaps to attach your train to your dress to create a bustle. Practice with your maid of honor before the ceremony to fold your train into a bustle. You can get step-by-step instructions for your specific train from your bridal consultant. Your dress feels too big. Make sure that you bring safety pins with you to your wedding venue. You can pin your dress on the inside to take up some of the slack. Your maid of honor is uncooperative. Sometimes brides find that their maid of honor is irritable or upset on their wedding day. Your BFF may be worried she’s losing you. Or maybe you simply picked the wrong woman for the job. Make sure you have a backup plan. Ask someone else in the wedding party to step up if you need help. Technically, the only thing an attendant has to do is sign as a witness to the wedding, but it helps to have someone who can help you with the details. Your mother becomes Momzilla. Your mother is losing her little girl on your wedding day, so it’s not surprising that some mothers turn into fire-breathing dragons. Realize that you aren’t responsible for your mother’s actions; she is. If your mother flakes out on some of her duties, ask a member of your wedding party to help. If your relationship with your mother is already strained, don’t expect the wedding to bring you closer together. Although it is supposed to be a happy occasion, it is the beginning of a life change for you and your family. Life changes are stressful, and people react to them in different ways. Be prepared with a fallback plan.
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Your fiancé's mother If you are lucky, your future mother-in-law is your friend. That’s not always the case. For some mothers, the bride is the woman who is taking away her little boy. It’s important to start as early as possible building a relationship with your future in-laws to avoid wedding day drama. Here are some ways to avoid issues with your mother-in-law on your wedding day.
Communicate. The number one rule of all relationships, communicate with your fiancé’s mother. Start having your own relationship with her. Call her yourself, instead of having your future husband do it. Be realistic. She still wants to have her own relationship with her son. Don’t get your feelings hurt when she doesn’t always include you when she asks him to join her for lunch. Understand they need one-on-one time without you. Include her in the wedding plans. You don’t have to let her run the show, but ask her opinion about wedding details. Get her to talk about her wedding and what it was like. Remember she’s his mother. Besides you, she probably knows your future husband better than anyone else. Use that to your advantage and ask her to give you some pointers. For example, ask her for recipes of his favorite meals when he was a kid. She’ll like knowing that you are planning to take care of him. If she is constantly rude to you, stand up to her. Failing to do so will cause problems throughout your marriage. Communicate clearly how you expect to be treated and ask her to abide by that. Don’t put him in the middle. Your future husband should be standing up for you with his family, but some men find that difficult to do. If you have a beef with your future mother-in-law, try to handle yourself. Keep him out of it if at all possible. Enlist professional help. If you are having serious problems with your motherin-law, get professional help before the ceremony. If you are getting married by a clergyperson, he or she would be the perfect person to help. Sometimes having a third party mediate can help get the relationship back on track.
New Traditions As you become a family with your husband, there are several traditions to consider. Will you take his surname? What will you do with your wedding dress? The name game Opinions are all over the map about changing your name. If you are an older bride and have used your name professionally for some time, you may not wish to change it.
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However, if you plan on having children, it is less complicated to have one family name. What do you do?
Hyphenate. It works better with shorter names, but creating a new last name for both of you may be an option. Some people literally choose a whole new last name, perhaps a blend of their names. However, hyphenates are more common. Use your maiden name as your middle name. A lot of women do this, and in some families girl children aren’t given middle name because it is expected to take their maiden names as their middle names. Ask him to take your name. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. One bride’s father was distressed that his family name was dying out because he never had sons. Her future husband, to show his love for her and her family, took her name. Keep your name until the children come. There’s no law saying that you can’t change your name later in your marriage. Many women keep their names until they have children. Have a professional name. Some women keep their maiden names professionally and their husband’s name legally.
Your dress as a keepsake You spent all that time looking for the perfect wedding dress that you wore for one day. What do you do with it now? If you are the sentimental type, you may wish to keep it for your daughter to wear. However, here are some alternative suggestions:
Wedding dress frame. You can hang your dress in your home in a specially designed frame. Your gown has now become a piece of art! Make home décor. One bride used her dress to make throw pillow and even an ottoman! Baptismal gowns for your children: This is an old tradition that is coming back. The wedding dress fabric is used to make your children’s baptismal robes or gowns. Many brides cringe thinking about cutting up the dress, especially if they are thinking they may hand it down to a daughter. However, some gowns today have detachable trains that can be used without damaging the dress.
Best wishes! We hope this wedding guide has given you some helpful information and ideas to plan the perfect wedding. Here’s to the beginning of your married life!
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Silhouette or cut—This is the shape of the bodice (bust line) and skirt. They are often dictated by body type, but just because you have curves doesn’t mean you can’t look stunning in a style that fits well. Fabric—The materials the dress is made of, like lace, satin, tulle, etc., are important to have considered. Length—Do you want a traditional gown with a long train or a cute, casual mini? A lot of this will be determined by what kind of wedding you are going to have. You’ll want to forgo a train if you’re having a destination beach wedding. You may choose to have a tea-length (ankle length) dress if you are planning a simple affair. Color—Wedding dresses traditionally come in several shades of white, ivory and ecru. Some brides today are choosing champagne, pink or silver. Some designs are white dresses with colored embellishments, like red, black or teal. You can add a little color to your wedding dress with a sash or even a flower at the waist.
Think about the season The next thing to consider when choosing a wedding dress is the season of the wedding day. You don’t want to freeze in fall or winter or be too hot during a summer or spring outdoor wedding. Note the weight of the dress, because more weight means more warmth.
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If your heart is set on wearing a strapless gown for your fall or winter wedding, consider a design that includes a jacket or wrap for fall, or a faux-fur stole for winter. Spring styles lend themselves to floral lace and ruffles. Less is more in summer wedding dresses, especially if you are planning an outdoor ceremony. Where to start If you haven’t set a budget for your wedding gown and accessories, do it before you shop. A rule of thumb is that the wedding gown should cost between 10 and 15 percent of the wedding budget. Some brides will go higher because the dress is perhaps the most important item of the day. However, not every bride can afford, or even wants to spend, $40,000 on a gown. It’s amazing how many dresses can be found under $1,000, and thrifty brides-to-be even find gorgeous dresses on clearance for under $100. If you are convinced you must have a designer gown, you need to set your budget somewhere between the $5,000$10,000 range, if not more. Don’t forget to add extra for your alterations, shoes, veil and other accessories. Major cities have dozens of options to choose from for bridal apparel. The most important thing to do is to pick a salon that you trust. Make sure that the store has been around for a long time and has a good reputation. The last thing you need before your big day is for the retailer to shut down before you get your dress. With that said, ALWAYS pay for your wedding dress with a credit card so that you can cancel the transaction if something goes wrong. Be very clear about what happens if you have to return the dress. Some stores will not allow returns while others will charge you a percentage of the original cost. Another rip-off to avoid is a consulting fee. If the store asks you to pay a consulting fee, even if it will be discounted off your dress, leave. There are plenty of salons that will be happy for your business without you paying to try on dresses. Florists and other wedding industry vendors may ask for this fee upfront as well. Work with someone else. Designers You can get an idea of what is trending in weddings styles by paying attention to couture designers. Even if your budget doesn’t allow tens of thousands of dollars for a designer wedding dress, you should look at the styles to get an idea of what you want your perfect dress to look like. Today’s hottest wedding dress designers include:
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Adele Wechsler: If you are passionate about preserving the environment, you should check out her line of eco-friendly gowns with vegetable dyes, use of fabric remnants and hemp. Wechsler’s designs are less traditional but very feminine, with sheer fabric overlays and appliqued floral motifs. Alvina Valenta (for JLM Couture): It’s all about the details with this designer. Valenta’s gowns are well-known for their hand-rolled roses and hand-beading. Amsale (for Christos Bridal): Are you a woman who wants a simple style? Amsale is for you. The collection features clean lines without any fussiness. Amsale often uses touches of color and is well-known for the “blue sash” dress that became popular several years ago. Badgley Mischka: This collection is inspired by vintage Hollywood glamour, which is nothing new. What is different is that these gowns are also designed for comfort. Carolina Herrera: This fashion icon creates contemporary spins on the traditional, full-skirted bridal gown. Christos: The collection includes Amsale’s simple styles as well as Christos’ princess-like designs. Christos is known for use of fine silks, organza and French lace. David Fielden: If you are a bride that wants something as far away from a princess-style ball gown that you can find, Fielden is right for you. His line includes minis, layered designs and one-shoulder styles that are anything but traditional. Justina McCaffrey: Her line is famous for its flow and movement. Expect Swarovski crystals, silk, draped bodices and ruffles. Lazaro (for JLM Couture): Vintage styles are the core of the collection. Details include hand embroidery and beading. Manuel Mota (for The Pronovias Group): Mota’s designs include interesting uses of tulle, empire waist sashes and chiffon flowers. He is well-known for cutting-edge necklines, including key-hole and asymmetrical. Reem Acra: Noted for incredibly stunning details, Acra uses intricate embroidery, Swarovski crystals and seed pearls to create a unique look. Valentino: A long-time staple in wedding gowns, Valentino still delivers originality with classic elegance. Vera Wang: Wang has long been the queen of wedding couture. Whether it’s an outdoor wedding or a formal cathedral setting, you can’t go wrong. Vera Wang is the ultimate in bridal fashion, so expect to pay lavishly.
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Today’s Wedding Dress Silhouettes Most wedding dresses fall into several different styles, or silhouettes. Each silhouette accentuates different parts of the figure. Here is a rundown of the most popular silhouettes:
A-Line—This classic curve minimizer gently flares to create an “A” shape to the hem. Ball Gown—A formal wedding style that features a figuring-hugging bodice with a full, floor-length skirt. Empire—One of the most forgiving styles, the empire-waist silhouette features a bodice that ends just under the bust line and is loose over the torso and hips. Mermaid—A form-fitting style where the skirt dramatically flares from the knees. Sheath—This slender-fitting style is a classic straight column that elongates the body. Trumpet—A less severe cousin to the mermaid style, this silhouette features a skirt flaring from the mid-thigh.
Dos and Don’ts by Body Type Every bride wants a dress that is flattering to her figure, so it is important to consider your body type when choosing a dress. Trust the salesperson. She will work with you to find the best dresses for your body. Wedding dresses look very different on the rack than they do on your body, so don’t be afraid of trying on a dress that may not be something you think you will like. That may be the perfect one! The following are different body types and dress style tips that will be the most flattering:
Rectangle. You are a rectangle if don’t have a very defined waist and your shoulders and hips are about the same in width. Do: Define your waist with a colored sash or beaded waistband. You will want to draw attention away from your waist, so go upward with a one-shoulder design or V-neck, or downward with a mermaid design or heavily embellished hem. Don’t: Stay away from sheaths and halter styles. They will accentuate your torso. Apple. You are an apple if your torso is the widest area of your body. Do: Elongate your silhouette. You can achieve this by choose A-line or empire styles. Draw attention to your bust with V-neck or sweetheart necklines. Consider showing off some leg with a high-low hem or a short dress. Don’t: Avoid mermaid and trumpet styles. They will accentuate your torso. Skip ball gowns too. They won’t elongate you. If you choose a strapless design, be sure to find something that curves. Straight across strapless designs will de-emphasize your bust. 4
Pear. Pears have smaller bust and shoulders and more curves in the hips and butt. Do: Draw attention from your hips with a ball gown or A-line style. A number of necklines will also flatter your figure by drawing the eye upwards. Choose a one-shoulder, scoop V-neck, strapless or bandeau style. Don’t: Stay away from high necks and halters because they won’t accentuate your bust. Avoid clingy designs, like sheaths, trumpets and mermaids. They will draw attention to the wrong part of your body. Hourglass. Your body has hips and bust in proportion with each other and a small waist. Do: Accentuate your waist with a sash or jeweled waist band. You can wear nearly every silhouette, but go with the mermaid, trumpet or sheath to show off your form. Don’t: Stay away from empire styles. They won’t define your waist and make you appear shorter. Maternity Styles. Things have changed since your mother or grandmother got married, and that includes wedding dresses specifically made for mothers-to-be. An empire-waist or A-line gown would also be a good choice to camouflage a baby bump.
Of course, the body-type guide is general. There are curvy women who can completely rock a column or trumpet design dress if it fits properly. Take along a family member or friend who will tell you honestly what makes you look the most radiant. Have them take photos of you in your favorites so that you can compare them to other finds in other stores. The wedding dress shop will have experienced bridal consultants who will help you in your search for a perfect dress. Trust their opinion. Part of what you are paying for when you buy a wedding dress is the consultant’s expertise. How do you know if a dress is “the one?” There really are brides who choose the first dress they try on, but that’s not very common. You will probably try on dozens of dresses in your quest. But what do you do when you can’t decide? Here are some tips to help.
If you don’t want to take it off, it’s the one. If you compare all the other dresses to it, it’s the perfect choice. If your family member or friend who is with you loves it, and so do you, it’s the right dress. Some women wait until they find the dress that makes them cry when they see themselves in it. If you aren’t sure, bring another family member or friend to look at your favorite. If you aren’t convinced, keep looking. But eventually one will separate itself from the crowd. 5
Many brides pay for their dresses the day they find it, and it’s an important thing to do to make sure you get your gown in time for the wedding. More cautious women sleep on the decision for a few days before pulling out the credit card. Knock-off dresses So you want a $10,000 Vera Wang wedding dress and you only have a $5,000 budget. Should you chance buying a knockoff dress from an online retailer for $200? It depends on whether you are willing to take a gamble. Knock-off dresses are inconsistent in quality. If you expect an exact replica of the $10,000 gown, you will be disappointed. If you don’t mind cheaper material, glued on beads or appliques not precisely centered, then go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a dress that isn’t perfectly made. The only one who will probably notice will be you. If you choose to go this route, be sure to order the dress far enough in advance that you can buy another if it doesn’t meet your specifications. Some women have bought knockoffs and had them embellished or repaired as well. However, if you must have perfection, check consignment shops. At the most a bride wears the gown for five or six hours, so nearly all second-hand gowns are very close to brand new. If you find your dream dress, it will cost half, or even less, than retail. For the last-minute bride Face it. There are simply just some situations that don’t lend themselves to a six- to nine-month lead time for a wedding dress to be made and altered. That doesn’t mean you can’t have the dress of your dreams. You simply have to know what to do.
Buy off the rack. This is a fast option because all you have to do is have the dress altered. If there isn’t anything in your size, ask the store to call the designer and see if they have a dress in your size. Ask about returned stock. Sometimes dresses get returned. This is a great solution if you are a size that is either too small or too large to wear an off-therack dress. Add embellishments to a nearly perfect dress. So you find an off-the-rack dress that is almost perfect. Have the alternations department add or remove embellishments. Look for a last-minute wedding planner. In large cities, you will find there are wedding planners that specialize in elopements. They know all the tricks to pulling off getting the gown you want in record time.
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Alterations It is rare that a dress doesn’t need alterations. The hem may be too long, or perhaps the waist needs to be let out a little. Allow approximately three months for alternations to make sure your dress gets delivered on time for the big day. Here is everything you need to know about the most common alterations:
Bustle: If you have a train and plan to wear your dress during the reception, hooks or sometimes hidden snaps are added so that the train can be folded and attached to the back of the dress. Your folded train is called a bustle. Bust: This is very important if you are wearing a strapless dress. It needs to fit tightly through the bust, but not too tight. Hem: Probably the most common alternation, the hem has to be adjusted to reach the floor without dragging in your bridal shoes.
Remember, it is a lot less expensive to make alternations to a large dress than to try to alter a small dress. If you are planning to lose a few pounds, be sure to go with a larger size anyway. If you plan to lose a significant amount of weight, buy the dress slightly smaller than your current, just in case you don’t reach your target. If you do reach your target weight, ask if you can exchange the dress before alternations are made. You may have to pay a rush order, but you’ll be happier with the result. Accessories The dress is a big decision, but you’ll also have to decide on accessories. You’ll need shoes, jewelry and a headpiece, if you choose to wear one. You may also need to buy petticoats, a bustier or other foundation lingerie. Your bridal consultant where you buy your wedding dress, as well as your friends and family, can help you make these decisions. Shoes: Whether you go with a bejeweled pump or a floral sandal, your shoes are important. You want to have comfort as well as style. Your wedding has a lot to do with the style of shoe you choose. Go with that platform heal if you are having a short indoor ceremony and a sit-down meal. You may consider something more comfortable if you’ll have dancing at the reception. A spring or summer beach or garden wedding calls for shoes easy to walk in, like sparkling sandals or beaded ballet flats. Some brides even thumb their nose at convention and wear glittery sneakers or flip flops under their dress. Look for shoes that can be dyed. Even white wedding gowns are different shades, and most satin shoes can be dyed to perfectly match the bridal dress as well as the bridesmaids’ dresses if you want. 7
Headpiece: If you choose to wear a headpiece, you’ll need to decide how you will be wearing your hair first. Is the back of your wedding dress lace or have a backless? You should wear your hair up to show it off. Choose a headpiece that coordinates with an embellishment on your gown. Combs, flowers and pins look great with longer hair. Tiaras are perfect with an up-do. Headbands look gorgeous with shorter hair. Then you need to decide if you want a veil attached to your hair embellishments. Veils come in many shapes and sizes. There are beautiful lace mantillas to cathedral lengths of tulle. What you may not know is that you can choose several veils as part of your headpiece. Here are the traditional veil types. Many of them can be worn alone or together. Cage—Ever notice women in 1940s movies wearing hats with veils that range from right below the eyes to the chin? That is a cage veil. It can be worn with a hat or fascinator, or with a flower or other embellishment. It would work perfectly with a vintage-style gown.
Blusher—This is the shorter veil that the bride traditionally wears over her face as she walks down the aisle. Her father will lift the veil off her face before she turns to face the bridegroom. It is typically worn along with a longer veil and is removed before the reception. Short Veil—This option typically falls between the shoulder and elbow. It is lightweight and looks more modern than a traditional veil. It is the perfect style for a tea-length or short wedding dress. Mid-Length or Fingertip Veil—A veil in this category falls between the elbow and the fingertips. It usually is designed with multiple layers and is available in multiple shapes. It is a versatile choice, working with many dress styles. Choose an elbow length if your gown has a beaded or bejeweled waistline to highlight it. Cathedral or Chapel Length—These styles are for the bride who wants the fairy tale wedding with the long, flowing train. It is often paired with shorter veils. These veils are usually removed before the reception so the bride can move more easily. A cathedral-length train is gorgeous with virtually any gown.
Here are some other things to consider when you are choosing a veil:
Shape—Veils can be a wide variety of shapes, from square to round and everything in between. Choose one that best fits your dress silhouette and your face shape. One popular trend is pairing simple modern dresses with narrow veils. Embellishments—Veils can be beaded with crystals or pearls. A current trend is to add lace at the edges.
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Color—Adding a hint of colored lace or other embellishment is becoming more popular. This can be also be accomplished with colored piping or a ribbon trim. A layer or two of colored tulle can be added for a subtle color effect.
Jewelry One of the rules of thumb for accessorizing your wedding dress is that less is more, especially when it comes to jewelry. The more embellishments your dress has, the less jewelry you will need. Depending on your dress, all you may need is a stunning pair of drop earrings. Before you buy jewelry, use a piece of string to measure around your neck as your wearing your gown. This will help you buy the perfect necklace. Put another string around your wrist, and simply add one inch to get the perfect bracelet size. Go with simple. You don’t want your jewelry to overpower your dress. If you love tradition, you can’t go wrong with a simple strand of white pearls with matching earrings and bracelet. If you have a simple dress without crystals, consider a single diamond or crystal necklace and earrings. Don’t be afraid to wear color! Some women make their “something blue” sapphire or blue topaz jewelry. Feel free to wear gemstones that complement your wedding colors or bouquet. Lingerie Most wedding dresses require a little added structure from the lingerie department at your bridal salon. Foundation undergarments accent your curves, smooth your body and provide support for your figure. Full-skirted gowns will need some help to achieve the full shape brides desire. First stop, slips. If you have a full-skirted gown, you will need a petticoat, or structured slip, to create the bell shape of your gown. These are typically half-slips, which means it starts at your hips. Slips aren’t just for ball gowns, though. Mermaid and trumpet styles may also require a special slip to create the fullness of your hemline. For column styles, choose a control top half-slip that holds your tummy in. Next, the bra department. If you have a strapless or one-shoulder dress, you may choose a bustier, also called a long-line bra. This bra is strapless and holds you in down to your waist. Pairing a bustier with a slip helps to smooth any bumps at the waist caused by the slip, giving you a perfectly smooth silhouette. Bustiers are available in backless styles as well. Be sure whatever bra you wear fits properly so that any straps stay secure and that there are no bumps.
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If you are a larger woman, you may choose a body shaper to give you all over support. Shapers are support panties that may extend as high as your bra line to mid-thigh. They conceal panty lines under clingy dresses and support your mid-section. You can buy them to minimize your butt or with padding to maximize your rear end. For an even smoother silhouette, choose a shaper body suit that includes the bra. Your Bridesmaids Now that you know your look, it’s time to think about the wedding party. First, it’s time to ask your friends and family to be bridesmaids if haven’t already done so. Some women choose to invite their potential wedding party to lunch and ask them. Others take a more creative approach – like sending a card along with gourmet cookies, or by sending the earrings you want the bridal party to wear. One creative bride-to-be sent a framed picture of herself with each bridesmaid along with a personalized card. Bridesmaids dresses It is customary for the wedding party to pay for their own dresses, shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup. They are also responsible for the travel and hotel expenses. However, be tactful. If you’ve chosen expensive dresses and know that it will be a financial burden on your friends and family members, offer to pay for the dress or pay half of the costs. Some brides arrange for a payment plan for the bridesmaids dresses. Another way to solve this issue is to have the whole wedding party go with you to shop for their dresses. How much should the bridesmaids dresses cost? It depends on what the bride wants. They can vary widely, depending on the wedding. Bargain dresses may be $50 while a gown for a formal wedding could be $300. Just like with the wedding dress, it is important to choose your bridesmaids dresses about six months before the wedding day. This will give your wedding party time to have alterations performed if they need them. Everyone has a horror story about a bridesmaid’s dress they hate that is hanging in the back of their closet. If that’s happened to you, you may be tempted to pick out a dress style that your bridesmaids can wear again. Don’t do it. Choose what you want them to wear, and choose something that complements your dress and your wedding. It is your day, after all. If you don’t feel like you need all the dresses to be the same style, allow them to choose a dress they like in the appropriate color and length, as long as you have final approval. Bridesmaids are all shapes, sizes and colorings. Remember that you can add sleeves to a strapless dress or a jacket for an older or heavier member of your wedding party. 10
All the dresses don’t have to be exactly the same or even the same color. And don’t panic if one of your bridesmaids is pregnant. Just like with bridal dresses, today you will find cute maternity styles for wedding party dresses. Be sure to consider how far along she will be in her pregnancy as you make dress decisions. Hair and Makeup Some brides enjoy having a morning with her girlfriends together at a salon getting their hair and makeup done together. Others allow their wedding party to do their own makeup and hair. If you are having a professional do your hair and makeup, schedule some extra time afterward for your wedding party to have theirs done as well. Sometimes the bridesmaids will decide at the last minute to have a professional help them and the extra time will allow them to do so. Mother of the Bride/Groom Now it’s time to think about your mother and your future mother-in-law. They will want to look special on your wedding day as well. Help them choose ensembles that coordinate with the colors of the wedding. Provide fabric swatches if you have them or photos of the bridesmaids dresses. Coordinating color is important. You don’t want your mom wearing something too close to your bridesmaids dresses, but a dress that harmonizes with them. The mothers should wear dresses that are appropriate to the setting. If you are having a formal evening wedding, long dresses are appropriate. If you are having a morning beach wedding, they can choose a shorter skirt. Afternoon weddings are typically semiformal, so cocktail attire is appropriate. The most important thing to remember is that the mothers should wear something that makes them feel comfortable and beautiful. If possible, take both of them shopping to find dresses. Coordination is important, especially if they live in the same area of the country. You don’t want them inadvertently buying the same outfit. How to Look and Feel Radiant on Your Wedding Day The days and weeks leading up to your wedding are stressful. It’s important that you take some time to prepare yourself both physically and mentally for the big day. You can have the most beautiful wedding ever, but if you feel self-conscious, it can take away from your special day. Have an attitude adjustment Everybody wishes that they had toned their arms more or lost a few pounds before the wedding. Most of the time, brides set unrealistic goals for these things. That can 11
sometimes cause the bride to feel self-conscious about her body. That’s why it is important a couple of weeks before your wedding to start working on your attitude. The first and foremost thing to remember is that your future husband loves you. He chose to marry you even if you think you aren’t perfect. He is not going to be thinking you should have lost more weight as you are walking down the aisle. He’s going to be mesmerized at how beautiful you look. The guests are all there because they love and support you and your future husband. A wedding is one of the only days in our lives when the people who love us are all together simply to show us how much they care and how happy they are for us. Focus on that rather than those things about your body you are unhappy with. Eat healthy It’s true that you are what you eat. Starting a couple of weeks before the wedding, make sure that you are eating a diet with lots of fruits and vegetables and low-fat protein. You’ll feel good and have the energy you need for your wedding day. Book a spa day A couple of days before the wedding, relax and have a spa day. Get a massage. Book that manicure and pedicure. If you want a facial, get it a week before your wedding day to avoid any redness. The night before Most brides have learned from their friends’ mistakes that having a night on the town with the girls is not the best way to spend the night before your wedding. You need sleep to avoid being puffy and having dark circles under your eyes. Try to get at least eight hours of sleep the night before. Today, rehearsal dinners are typically held the night before the wedding. Because everyone will be celebrating, be sure to drink as much water as you do alcoholic beverages, and limit yourself to two or three drinks. You don’t want to be hung over, plus staying hydrated helps your skin. Tattoo tips You may love the tattoo on your shoulder, but it may not be appropriate with your wedding dress, especially if you are having a formal wedding. Here are some easy steps to cover your tattoo for the big day:
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Buy full-coverage concealer. The best brands are Dermablend and Covermark. You will need three colors—one that perfectly matches your skin tone, one a shade lighter, and one two shades lighter Buy a concealer brush. Make sure it is a stiff brush because the trick is to cover the tattoo without extending the makeup to the surrounding skin. Start with the lightest color to form a base. Only apply to the tattoo. Next, add the next-lightest color, blending it in with the base color. Finally, apply the concealer that is your skin tone. Lightly dust with translucent powder using a powder puff.
Wedding day makeup If time and money allows, go professional for your wedding day makeup. A makeup professional can give you the perfect look you are going for, whether it is natural or dramatic. If you decide to do your own makeup, be sure to overdo your blush and eye makeup. Going a little bit more heavy-handed than usual will keep you from looking washed out in your photos. Your wedding commandments Everybody has their personal pet peeves about weddings, and you will have some of your own. Instead of seething with rage that your uncle wore flip flops and shorts to your formal wedding, try these tips:
Communicate your wishes. Want your bridesmaids tattoo-free? Wish your friends would leave their babies at home? Is it important that your guests dress appropriately? Then tell them. Include information on the wedding invitation. Make sure that your wedding party is aware of your wishes. Call and tell everyone again before the big day. Be realistic. Some people are not going to obey your commandments. Your mother in law may still wear the replica of your wedding dress in another color. Your brother-in-law may still show up drunk. This is the most important day in your life, not theirs. Remind yourself what the day is really about. You are going to get to live with the man you love for the rest of your life! You’ve found your soul mate, your partner, your rock. You won’t remember your cousin breast-feeding in the back of the church 20 years down the road. And if you do, you will laugh about it.
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How to Deal with Drama Every woman wants her wedding day to be perfect, but the fact of the matter is that most weddings have drama. Whether it’s your maid of honor or a wardrobe malfunction, here are some tips to help you deal with problems that may arise:
Your shoes hurt your feet. We all sometimes chose fashion over function when it comes to footwear, but your wedding day is not the time to be in pain. A panty liner or double-sided tape will keep your feet from slipping around in your shoes. Getting a blister? You can buy clear band aids especially designed for blisters. Send someone to the drugstore. You need to go to the bathroom. Wedding dresses are notoriously difficult to manage when you have to go. Most brides have their maid of honor hold the skirt up in the bathroom. One bride said it was easier to sit on the toilet backwards. The key is to go before you put on your dress. This is also a good reason for having a different dress for the reception. If you have a small bladder, changing may be your best option. The bustle looked easy to do at the bridal store. If you plan to wear your wedding dress at the reception, most likely your alterations included hooks or snaps to attach your train to your dress to create a bustle. Practice with your maid of honor before the ceremony to fold your train into a bustle. You can get step-by-step instructions for your specific train from your bridal consultant. Your dress feels too big. Make sure that you bring safety pins with you to your wedding venue. You can pin your dress on the inside to take up some of the slack. Your maid of honor is uncooperative. Sometimes brides find that their maid of honor is irritable or upset on their wedding day. Your BFF may be worried she’s losing you. Or maybe you simply picked the wrong woman for the job. Make sure you have a backup plan. Ask someone else in the wedding party to step up if you need help. Technically, the only thing an attendant has to do is sign as a witness to the wedding, but it helps to have someone who can help you with the details. Your mother becomes Momzilla. Your mother is losing her little girl on your wedding day, so it’s not surprising that some mothers turn into fire-breathing dragons. Realize that you aren’t responsible for your mother’s actions; she is. If your mother flakes out on some of her duties, ask a member of your wedding party to help. If your relationship with your mother is already strained, don’t expect the wedding to bring you closer together. Although it is supposed to be a happy occasion, it is the beginning of a life change for you and your family. Life changes are stressful, and people react to them in different ways. Be prepared with a fallback plan.
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Your fiancé's mother If you are lucky, your future mother-in-law is your friend. That’s not always the case. For some mothers, the bride is the woman who is taking away her little boy. It’s important to start as early as possible building a relationship with your future in-laws to avoid wedding day drama. Here are some ways to avoid issues with your mother-in-law on your wedding day.
Communicate. The number one rule of all relationships, communicate with your fiancé’s mother. Start having your own relationship with her. Call her yourself, instead of having your future husband do it. Be realistic. She still wants to have her own relationship with her son. Don’t get your feelings hurt when she doesn’t always include you when she asks him to join her for lunch. Understand they need one-on-one time without you. Include her in the wedding plans. You don’t have to let her run the show, but ask her opinion about wedding details. Get her to talk about her wedding and what it was like. Remember she’s his mother. Besides you, she probably knows your future husband better than anyone else. Use that to your advantage and ask her to give you some pointers. For example, ask her for recipes of his favorite meals when he was a kid. She’ll like knowing that you are planning to take care of him. If she is constantly rude to you, stand up to her. Failing to do so will cause problems throughout your marriage. Communicate clearly how you expect to be treated and ask her to abide by that. Don’t put him in the middle. Your future husband should be standing up for you with his family, but some men find that difficult to do. If you have a beef with your future mother-in-law, try to handle yourself. Keep him out of it if at all possible. Enlist professional help. If you are having serious problems with your motherin-law, get professional help before the ceremony. If you are getting married by a clergyperson, he or she would be the perfect person to help. Sometimes having a third party mediate can help get the relationship back on track.
New Traditions As you become a family with your husband, there are several traditions to consider. Will you take his surname? What will you do with your wedding dress? The name game Opinions are all over the map about changing your name. If you are an older bride and have used your name professionally for some time, you may not wish to change it.
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However, if you plan on having children, it is less complicated to have one family name. What do you do?
Hyphenate. It works better with shorter names, but creating a new last name for both of you may be an option. Some people literally choose a whole new last name, perhaps a blend of their names. However, hyphenates are more common. Use your maiden name as your middle name. A lot of women do this, and in some families girl children aren’t given middle name because it is expected to take their maiden names as their middle names. Ask him to take your name. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. One bride’s father was distressed that his family name was dying out because he never had sons. Her future husband, to show his love for her and her family, took her name. Keep your name until the children come. There’s no law saying that you can’t change your name later in your marriage. Many women keep their names until they have children. Have a professional name. Some women keep their maiden names professionally and their husband’s name legally.
Your dress as a keepsake You spent all that time looking for the perfect wedding dress that you wore for one day. What do you do with it now? If you are the sentimental type, you may wish to keep it for your daughter to wear. However, here are some alternative suggestions:
Wedding dress frame. You can hang your dress in your home in a specially designed frame. Your gown has now become a piece of art! Make home décor. One bride used her dress to make throw pillow and even an ottoman! Baptismal gowns for your children: This is an old tradition that is coming back. The wedding dress fabric is used to make your children’s baptismal robes or gowns. Many brides cringe thinking about cutting up the dress, especially if they are thinking they may hand it down to a daughter. However, some gowns today have detachable trains that can be used without damaging the dress.
Best wishes! We hope this wedding guide has given you some helpful information and ideas to plan the perfect wedding. Here’s to the beginning of your married life!
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