You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!!
4/3/2018
You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!! IIMC 2018 CONFERENCE
1
The International Institute of Municipal Clerks (IIMC) Mission Statement:
A professional, nonprofit association that promotes continuing education and certification through university and college‐based institutes and provides networking solutions, services and benefits to its members worldwide.
2
The Serenity Prayer
3
1
4/3/2018
Batten Down the Hatches, Away We Go… 4
The Bermuda Triangle The Bermuda Triangle is an area in the Atlantic Ocean in which an unusually high number of ships and planes have disappeared. People and laws can be so complicated and fraught with problems that you feel like you are lost in the Bermuda Triangle.
5
Does it feel like a Tsunami is Hitting You?
6
2
4/3/2018
Do Tell…… Your Best (Or Worst) “You Can’t Make This Sh#$ Up!”
7
8
9
3
4/3/2018
10
11
What are Your Daily Battles……
12
4
4/3/2018
13
Workplace Bullying The repeated mistreatment of one or more employees/individuals with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation and sabotage of performance. Even more common than sexual harassment or verbal abuse. It is the deliberate, hurtful, repeated mistreatment of employees/individuals driven by desire to control. Bullying behavior may exist at any level of an organization. Bullies can be and often are managers and supervisors as well as co-workers.
As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute
14
Workplace Bullying Workplace bullying can generally be considered as negative acts directed toward employees/individuals. These include: • Intimidating or undermining employees/individuals by demeaning their work standards, not giving them credit, setting them up for failure and constantly reminding them of old mistakes. • Threatening employees’/individuals’personal self-esteem and work status. • Isolating employees/individuals from opportunities, information and interaction with others. • Giving impossible deadlines, creating undue pressure and stress, and overworking employees/individuals. As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute
15
5
4/3/2018
Why do smart people do stupid things? Stupidity Paradox Functional Stupidity stems from herd behavior and convenience. Every employee needs good self‐esteem, independence and courage to think for themselves and question inflated visions, brands, core values and strategies. A workplace mindless, why being stupid might be a good thing in the short term but a disaster in the longer term. Make your workplace a little less stupid by challenging thoughtless conformity. Thus, harmony and action in the workplace can be balanced with a culture of questioning and challenge. Therefore we need to systematically combat stupidity! Mats Alvesson, Professor of Business Administration, Lund University School of Economics
16
Why do smart people do stupid things? Intelligence and rationality are not one and the same, nor are they necessarily even associated. Creative intelligence is our ability to deal with novel situations. Practical intelligence is our ability to get things done. Most intelligent people make mental short cuts all the time. One of the most powerful is self‐serving bias: we tend to think we are better than others. As a result the smartest people ignore the intelligence of others so they make themselves feel smarter. Mark McCartney 17
Why Are People Mean? Insecure Self‐Esteem, simply stated, People are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves due to: 1.
Positive Distinctiveness ‐people have a need to feel unique from others in positive ways.
2.
Downward Comparisons ‐people naturally make comparisons to other people that enable us to look down on other people.
3.
Classical Projection ‐ see other people as dishonest, and this makes you, in a sense, feel more honest yourself.
4.
Ego Threat ‐threatened self‐esteem is associated with a wide range of heightened aggressive behaviors. Nathan A Heflick Ph.D.
18
6
4/3/2018
What Makes a Person Mean and Cruel? They are Jealous; They feel a Sense of Entitlement; They are Insecure; They Threaten and Bully; They are Angry; They are Depressed.
19
And then there are more reasons…………… ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦
Lack of Empathy Lack social interest Narcissists Don't feel good about themselves Looking for recognition Sadistic tendencies Psychological problems Low self‐esteem Emotionally damaged A self‐protection mechanism Jealous Insensitive Anti‐social Project a certain identity
20
Why are People Mean and Cruel? Recognize that the meanness you may experience from others is either unintentional or is more about the mean person rather than about you, the less you personalize the meanness, the less impact it has on you. Unintentional meanness refers to behavior or statements that you may perceive as mean but that wasn't intended to be hurtful. Whereas malicious meanness is behavior or statements that have the purpose of hurting you. Most people are mean due to some flaw in themselves or distortion in their thinking. People who are mean will often find some minor thing that you have done so as to justify their meanness and blame you. People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope. Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
21
7
4/3/2018
Reasons Why People Are Mean 1. Lack of Skills/Knowledge or Awareness ‐ Not Noticing, Cultural, Little Insight, Lack of Social Skills & Tone 2. Miscommunication/Misunderstanding ‐ Negative Assumptions Directness & Indirectness 3. Misdirected Intentions 4. Self‐Protection 5. Reactive – Frustration, Stress 6. Superiority ‐ Superior by birth or achievement 7. Mental Disturbance – Mental Illness, Bi‐Polar, Psychopathy, etc. 8. Pleasure‐Seeking – Attention, Respect, Power, Money Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
22
How to Respond to Mean/Cruel People Remember that you can control your response when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much about our life circumstances, but with practice we can control how we respond to those circumstances. The most effective response to meanness is compassion. Where there is meanness, there is often a lot of pain, both in the unkind person and for the person on the receiving end of a mean joke, comment, or email. See mean people for what they really are—wounded and tiny and probably threatened. Frightened mice masquerading as roaring lions. Fight fire with water by sending loving thoughts to the people who hurt you. Christine Carter, Ph.D.
23
When self‐esteem is threatened, we are more likely to compare ourselves to people we think are worse off than us, to see other people as having more negative traits, to degrade people who aren't members of our groups, and to become more directly aggressive towards people in general. When you insult or criticize someone else, it may say more about how you are feeling about yourself than the other person. Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world.
24
8
4/3/2018
Active Shooter/ Workplace Violence
25
26
Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse 1.
Make yourself necessary and you will always be needed.
2. 3.
Your thoughts are like boomerangs. You are more defined by what comes out of your mouth than what goes in it.
4. 5. 6.
The journey of your success will always begin with the small step of taking a chance. Your education is never complete. Don't allow the voice of your fears to be louder than the other voices in your head.
7. 8. 9. 10.
A good reputation is more valuable than money. You never really lose until you stop trying. You get more by giving more. Rule your mind or it will rule you.
11. Great heroes are truly humble. 12. Defeat isn't bitter if you're smart enough not to swallow it. By Lolly Daskal
27
9
4/3/2018
Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse cont’d 13. Your thoughts are powerful, make them positive. 14. Forgiveness benefits two people‐‐the giver and receiver. 15. The word impossible contains its opposite: "I'm possible." 16. Preparation is a stepping stone to success. “Failing to prepare means preparing to fail.” 17. Creating your own reality. 18. You are in control of your own heaven or hell. You're the master of your own destiny. 19. Envy consumes itself. 20. Don’t Be Bitter ~ Your attitude is always up to you! Choose Positivity! 21. Those who seldom make mistakes seldom stumble upon new innovation. 22. It's in losing yourself that you find yourself. 23. Apply your passion and always love what you do; Stay persistent and determined. 24. Be grateful every day, because that's the source of true power.
By Lolly Daskal
Get the Anchor off Your Ankles – The 5 C’s Courage Collaboration Communication Compassion Create Coaching Culture
29
Miscommunication/Misperceptions Get the Anchor off Your Ankle 4, if not, 5 generations: Millennials/Mentoring & Succession Planning Balancing Work and Family “Work‐Life Integration” Technology (24/7) & E‐Government Your Culture/Your Brand Bullying ‐ demanding mean insecure jealous people Harassment & “Me Too” Movement Workplace Safety & Workplace Violence “Active Shooter”
30
10
4/3/2018
Generational Learning Generation
Grew up on…
Traditionalists 70+
Newsprint and Radio
Preferred Learning Style
Learning Motivation
Baby Boomer 52‐70
Television
Generation X 35‐51
Television/personal computer
Paced virtual or on‐line learning – often ask “why”. Appreciate constructive feedback.
Gaining and maintaining employment.
Millennials 18‐34
Internet, cable, satellite radio
Blended, on‐line learning with emphasis on entertaining activities. Case studies, role play, hands on.
Learn and share knowledge and skills especially if it makes them more employable and their lives less stressful.
Traditional classroom ‐ order and Contributing their own logic. experiences. How learning contributes to Classroom and interactive learning – need time to translate them professionally and personally. knowledge to master skills.
31
Work‐Life Integration Work‐life integration allows people to work virtually anytime and anywhere. Instead of work being a place you go, it’s becoming a thing you do. www.news.Microsoft.com
32
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand your own and others’ emotions and how they drive behavior, and then using that knowledge to motivate others.
33
11
4/3/2018
What is workplace culture? It is the personality of an organization from the employees’ perspective.
34
The Impact of TRUST on the Brain A feel‐good jolt of oxytocin surges through your brain and triggers you to reciprocate This simple mechanism triggers a trust‐building cycle Building a new cycle is a key to changing stubborn workplace patterns
35
The Three Constructs of TRUST TRUST DEFINED: A state of readiness for unguarded interaction with someone or something. CAPACITY TO TRUST
◦ PERCEPTION OF COMPETENCE
◦ PERCEPTION OF INTENTIONS
36
12
4/3/2018
Your “Brand” Factors of a strong “brand”: Social Responsibility & Sustainability Employee Safety & Security Civility in the workplace Respect for others, flexibility, versatility
37
Your “Brand & Culture” We have a great story to tell in public service….a sense of purpose; A mission that matters ~ serving the public with integrity, interesting work, internal mobility and job variety. We make a difference! Your culture matters; centerpiece for a thriving workplace, a framework for good behavior, engages employees, encourages collaboration and builds employee loyalty & commitment. Connect employees to the mission. Engagement breaks down barriers.
38
Boost Your EQ – Be a Coach It’s true grit with a mixture of persistence, dedication and courage Acknowledge and validate. Many times, people just want to be heard. Listen! Be curious, not judgmental. Approach situations with sincere curiosity, give the benefit of the doubt. Listen! Ask open, empowering questions. Listen! Build a Coaching Culture – set mutual goals and invest in employees, constituents. Formula: the municipality what + the individual how = an increase in productivity. Result: Employees & constituents will feel validated, accepted, challenged and relieved!
39
13
4/3/2018
Legal Compliance & Best Practices Conduct an immediate and thorough investigation Be Responsive Be Transparent Have formal policies Keep As Confidential as Possible Provide Outcome (substantiated or not) Take Appropriate Corrective Action Ensure No Retaliation
40
You’re the CEO of Your Own Happiness
41
Thank You, Roseann McGrath 42
14
4/3/2018
Thank You, Roseann McGrath 43
Disclaimer Roseann McGrath provides a variety of advisory consulting services. Roseann does not, however, provide legal services and does not employ individuals licensed or competent to practice law in any jurisdiction. Therefore, any services or information provided by Roseann are not legal opinions or legal advice. If legal advice, counsel, or representation is needed, the services of a competent legal professional should be sought.
44
15
You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!! IIMC 2018 CONFERENCE
1
The International Institute of Municipal Clerks (IIMC) Mission Statement:
A professional, nonprofit association that promotes continuing education and certification through university and college‐based institutes and provides networking solutions, services and benefits to its members worldwide.
2
The Serenity Prayer
3
1
4/3/2018
Batten Down the Hatches, Away We Go… 4
The Bermuda Triangle The Bermuda Triangle is an area in the Atlantic Ocean in which an unusually high number of ships and planes have disappeared. People and laws can be so complicated and fraught with problems that you feel like you are lost in the Bermuda Triangle.
5
Does it feel like a Tsunami is Hitting You?
6
2
4/3/2018
Do Tell…… Your Best (Or Worst) “You Can’t Make This Sh#$ Up!”
7
8
9
3
4/3/2018
10
11
What are Your Daily Battles……
12
4
4/3/2018
13
Workplace Bullying The repeated mistreatment of one or more employees/individuals with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation and sabotage of performance. Even more common than sexual harassment or verbal abuse. It is the deliberate, hurtful, repeated mistreatment of employees/individuals driven by desire to control. Bullying behavior may exist at any level of an organization. Bullies can be and often are managers and supervisors as well as co-workers.
As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute
14
Workplace Bullying Workplace bullying can generally be considered as negative acts directed toward employees/individuals. These include: • Intimidating or undermining employees/individuals by demeaning their work standards, not giving them credit, setting them up for failure and constantly reminding them of old mistakes. • Threatening employees’/individuals’personal self-esteem and work status. • Isolating employees/individuals from opportunities, information and interaction with others. • Giving impossible deadlines, creating undue pressure and stress, and overworking employees/individuals. As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute
15
5
4/3/2018
Why do smart people do stupid things? Stupidity Paradox Functional Stupidity stems from herd behavior and convenience. Every employee needs good self‐esteem, independence and courage to think for themselves and question inflated visions, brands, core values and strategies. A workplace mindless, why being stupid might be a good thing in the short term but a disaster in the longer term. Make your workplace a little less stupid by challenging thoughtless conformity. Thus, harmony and action in the workplace can be balanced with a culture of questioning and challenge. Therefore we need to systematically combat stupidity! Mats Alvesson, Professor of Business Administration, Lund University School of Economics
16
Why do smart people do stupid things? Intelligence and rationality are not one and the same, nor are they necessarily even associated. Creative intelligence is our ability to deal with novel situations. Practical intelligence is our ability to get things done. Most intelligent people make mental short cuts all the time. One of the most powerful is self‐serving bias: we tend to think we are better than others. As a result the smartest people ignore the intelligence of others so they make themselves feel smarter. Mark McCartney 17
Why Are People Mean? Insecure Self‐Esteem, simply stated, People are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves due to: 1.
Positive Distinctiveness ‐people have a need to feel unique from others in positive ways.
2.
Downward Comparisons ‐people naturally make comparisons to other people that enable us to look down on other people.
3.
Classical Projection ‐ see other people as dishonest, and this makes you, in a sense, feel more honest yourself.
4.
Ego Threat ‐threatened self‐esteem is associated with a wide range of heightened aggressive behaviors. Nathan A Heflick Ph.D.
18
6
4/3/2018
What Makes a Person Mean and Cruel? They are Jealous; They feel a Sense of Entitlement; They are Insecure; They Threaten and Bully; They are Angry; They are Depressed.
19
And then there are more reasons…………… ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦
Lack of Empathy Lack social interest Narcissists Don't feel good about themselves Looking for recognition Sadistic tendencies Psychological problems Low self‐esteem Emotionally damaged A self‐protection mechanism Jealous Insensitive Anti‐social Project a certain identity
20
Why are People Mean and Cruel? Recognize that the meanness you may experience from others is either unintentional or is more about the mean person rather than about you, the less you personalize the meanness, the less impact it has on you. Unintentional meanness refers to behavior or statements that you may perceive as mean but that wasn't intended to be hurtful. Whereas malicious meanness is behavior or statements that have the purpose of hurting you. Most people are mean due to some flaw in themselves or distortion in their thinking. People who are mean will often find some minor thing that you have done so as to justify their meanness and blame you. People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope. Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
21
7
4/3/2018
Reasons Why People Are Mean 1. Lack of Skills/Knowledge or Awareness ‐ Not Noticing, Cultural, Little Insight, Lack of Social Skills & Tone 2. Miscommunication/Misunderstanding ‐ Negative Assumptions Directness & Indirectness 3. Misdirected Intentions 4. Self‐Protection 5. Reactive – Frustration, Stress 6. Superiority ‐ Superior by birth or achievement 7. Mental Disturbance – Mental Illness, Bi‐Polar, Psychopathy, etc. 8. Pleasure‐Seeking – Attention, Respect, Power, Money Monica A. Frank, Ph.D.
22
How to Respond to Mean/Cruel People Remember that you can control your response when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much about our life circumstances, but with practice we can control how we respond to those circumstances. The most effective response to meanness is compassion. Where there is meanness, there is often a lot of pain, both in the unkind person and for the person on the receiving end of a mean joke, comment, or email. See mean people for what they really are—wounded and tiny and probably threatened. Frightened mice masquerading as roaring lions. Fight fire with water by sending loving thoughts to the people who hurt you. Christine Carter, Ph.D.
23
When self‐esteem is threatened, we are more likely to compare ourselves to people we think are worse off than us, to see other people as having more negative traits, to degrade people who aren't members of our groups, and to become more directly aggressive towards people in general. When you insult or criticize someone else, it may say more about how you are feeling about yourself than the other person. Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world.
24
8
4/3/2018
Active Shooter/ Workplace Violence
25
26
Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse 1.
Make yourself necessary and you will always be needed.
2. 3.
Your thoughts are like boomerangs. You are more defined by what comes out of your mouth than what goes in it.
4. 5. 6.
The journey of your success will always begin with the small step of taking a chance. Your education is never complete. Don't allow the voice of your fears to be louder than the other voices in your head.
7. 8. 9. 10.
A good reputation is more valuable than money. You never really lose until you stop trying. You get more by giving more. Rule your mind or it will rule you.
11. Great heroes are truly humble. 12. Defeat isn't bitter if you're smart enough not to swallow it. By Lolly Daskal
27
9
4/3/2018
Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse cont’d 13. Your thoughts are powerful, make them positive. 14. Forgiveness benefits two people‐‐the giver and receiver. 15. The word impossible contains its opposite: "I'm possible." 16. Preparation is a stepping stone to success. “Failing to prepare means preparing to fail.” 17. Creating your own reality. 18. You are in control of your own heaven or hell. You're the master of your own destiny. 19. Envy consumes itself. 20. Don’t Be Bitter ~ Your attitude is always up to you! Choose Positivity! 21. Those who seldom make mistakes seldom stumble upon new innovation. 22. It's in losing yourself that you find yourself. 23. Apply your passion and always love what you do; Stay persistent and determined. 24. Be grateful every day, because that's the source of true power.
By Lolly Daskal
Get the Anchor off Your Ankles – The 5 C’s Courage Collaboration Communication Compassion Create Coaching Culture
29
Miscommunication/Misperceptions Get the Anchor off Your Ankle 4, if not, 5 generations: Millennials/Mentoring & Succession Planning Balancing Work and Family “Work‐Life Integration” Technology (24/7) & E‐Government Your Culture/Your Brand Bullying ‐ demanding mean insecure jealous people Harassment & “Me Too” Movement Workplace Safety & Workplace Violence “Active Shooter”
30
10
4/3/2018
Generational Learning Generation
Grew up on…
Traditionalists 70+
Newsprint and Radio
Preferred Learning Style
Learning Motivation
Baby Boomer 52‐70
Television
Generation X 35‐51
Television/personal computer
Paced virtual or on‐line learning – often ask “why”. Appreciate constructive feedback.
Gaining and maintaining employment.
Millennials 18‐34
Internet, cable, satellite radio
Blended, on‐line learning with emphasis on entertaining activities. Case studies, role play, hands on.
Learn and share knowledge and skills especially if it makes them more employable and their lives less stressful.
Traditional classroom ‐ order and Contributing their own logic. experiences. How learning contributes to Classroom and interactive learning – need time to translate them professionally and personally. knowledge to master skills.
31
Work‐Life Integration Work‐life integration allows people to work virtually anytime and anywhere. Instead of work being a place you go, it’s becoming a thing you do. www.news.Microsoft.com
32
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand your own and others’ emotions and how they drive behavior, and then using that knowledge to motivate others.
33
11
4/3/2018
What is workplace culture? It is the personality of an organization from the employees’ perspective.
34
The Impact of TRUST on the Brain A feel‐good jolt of oxytocin surges through your brain and triggers you to reciprocate This simple mechanism triggers a trust‐building cycle Building a new cycle is a key to changing stubborn workplace patterns
35
The Three Constructs of TRUST TRUST DEFINED: A state of readiness for unguarded interaction with someone or something. CAPACITY TO TRUST
◦ PERCEPTION OF COMPETENCE
◦ PERCEPTION OF INTENTIONS
36
12
4/3/2018
Your “Brand” Factors of a strong “brand”: Social Responsibility & Sustainability Employee Safety & Security Civility in the workplace Respect for others, flexibility, versatility
37
Your “Brand & Culture” We have a great story to tell in public service….a sense of purpose; A mission that matters ~ serving the public with integrity, interesting work, internal mobility and job variety. We make a difference! Your culture matters; centerpiece for a thriving workplace, a framework for good behavior, engages employees, encourages collaboration and builds employee loyalty & commitment. Connect employees to the mission. Engagement breaks down barriers.
38
Boost Your EQ – Be a Coach It’s true grit with a mixture of persistence, dedication and courage Acknowledge and validate. Many times, people just want to be heard. Listen! Be curious, not judgmental. Approach situations with sincere curiosity, give the benefit of the doubt. Listen! Ask open, empowering questions. Listen! Build a Coaching Culture – set mutual goals and invest in employees, constituents. Formula: the municipality what + the individual how = an increase in productivity. Result: Employees & constituents will feel validated, accepted, challenged and relieved!
39
13
4/3/2018
Legal Compliance & Best Practices Conduct an immediate and thorough investigation Be Responsive Be Transparent Have formal policies Keep As Confidential as Possible Provide Outcome (substantiated or not) Take Appropriate Corrective Action Ensure No Retaliation
40
You’re the CEO of Your Own Happiness
41
Thank You, Roseann McGrath 42
14
4/3/2018
Thank You, Roseann McGrath 43
Disclaimer Roseann McGrath provides a variety of advisory consulting services. Roseann does not, however, provide legal services and does not employ individuals licensed or competent to practice law in any jurisdiction. Therefore, any services or information provided by Roseann are not legal opinions or legal advice. If legal advice, counsel, or representation is needed, the services of a competent legal professional should be sought.
44
15
