Binge Rescue Worksheet
Binge Rescue Worksheet How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge
By Karly Randolph Pitman
A special excerpt from Karly’s comprehensive 12 session program.
In this worksheet, you’re going to unhook from the powerful needs and feelings that trigger overeating. These feelings arise from the primitive “old brain,”1 the part of our brain that stores wounds and that’s in charge of our survival. When you soothe the “old brain,” you soothe your desire to overeat. You do this not by controlling, perfecting, judging, or striving, but by embracing your tender, imperfect, vulnerable humanity. You heal by listening and caring, by creating a loving relationship with every part of yourself. In order to facilitate healing, it’s important that we put aside our judgment of our feelings - “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” We accept that we’re upset, that we’re feeling triggered, and we accept our point of view and perceptions.
© Five Oceans Press
1
Karly Randolph Pitman writes, speaks, lives and teaches the path of growing human(kind)ness, a compassion based therapy to heal the roots of food suffering. Her work offers a combination of structure and fluidity – a balance between intuitive eating and weigh and measure programs – that eases the vacillation between bingeing and restrictive eating. Rather than using will power, punishment, control, or fear as the means for creating change, Karly’s approach uses the power of relationship, deep listening, and kindness to gently effect the growth you desire with food and weight. While freedom from bingeing and weight loss are common side effects, those who’ve used this approach also report greater self compassion, self love, and self esteem, and less perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and anxiety. Learn more at www.karlyrandolphpitman.com.
To learn more about Karly’s process, and to sample
This doesn’t mean that we’re in agreement. Rather, we’re accepting that there’s a wounded part of us that’s hurt, that has an unmet need. As we show this hurt part of ourselves compassion, it softens. The pain releases from the body; it moves. We feel less reactive, less inclined to overeat, and more whole. We heal the roots of overeating as we also heal ourselves.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
About the author
additional helpful tools like this worksheet, you may enjoy Heal Overeating: Untangled. With over 12 hours of audio teachings, experiential exercises, worksheets, suggested practice exercises, and more, you’ll learn how to soothe your overeating without white knuckling it. Learn how kindness is the doorway to the change that you desire in your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. Learn more at www.healovereating.com
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
2 Part I: Identify the wound — the triggers, needs and feelings. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all and 10 being very strongly, please rate your desire to eat (binge, overeat, or use food for comfort.) 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Please describe the trigger (the feeling, memory, thought, event) that primed this desire for food.
How do you feel? Pay particular attention to feelings of fear, anger, sadness and frustration. Don’t censor your feelings, minimize them, dismiss them, edit them or intellectualize them (go to the head.) Stay at the level of feeling and let it all out.
Other times I’ve felt this way….
How do those feelings feel in the body (what bodily sensations accompany them)? Where do you feel them in the body?
Part II: Care for the wound with deep listening & compassion. Offer yourself deep listening, “I hear you.” Mirror back what you just expressed by completing the following statements. What would you want a loved one to say if you were sharing your feelings with them? Offer yourself this same compassion.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
3 I hear that you’re feeling… I hear that you’re saying… You’re wanting…. You’re wishing… You’re needing… Anything else? Offer yourself validation, “I understand you.” Give yourself understanding – that your feelings are valid and understandable, perfectly legitimate given your personal life experiences. “I understand why you feel this way. It makes so much sense!” “I understand why this is hard for you.” “You feel strongly about this!”2 “Of course!”
Offer yourself compassion, “I care about you.” Offer empathy to your hurt: “I care that you feel scared. I care that you’re hurting. I’m so sorry.” For greater nurturing, you can rock yourself in a rocking chair, sway back and forth as if you were cuddling an infant, wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, cuddle a stuffed animal while you cry, or close your eyes and put your hand on your heart – anything that helps that hurting part of you feel loved and comforted (without eating!) In your words and actions, convey to yourself, “I care that you’re hurting. I care about your suffering.” Every part of you wants to be seen, heard and understood. Every part of you wants to be loved. Can you soften your judgment of the desire to binge? Can you look at it less an enemy and more as a wounded, hurting part of you who’s begging to be heard? Can you offer this part of yourself forgiveness? If it’s in you, please write down a statement of forgiveness, love or acceptance towards the needs that are under the food.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
Part III: Move into solutions. Care for the wound with action.
4
Now we move from understanding into action. This is where you move to find solutions. Ask yourself: What does this hurting part of me need? What, if any, action do I feel compelled to take to meet it? You can make requests that are internal, of yourself, or external, from others. Here are some ways you can move to meet the need: Do I need to ask for clarification? Example scripts: What did you mean by __________________? I’m looking for clarity. Can you explain ___________________? Can you share your intention in ___________________? You’re important to me, and I want to understand your point of view/request/feelings/needs. Can you clarify ____________________ for me? Do I need to make a specific request? Example scripts: Would you be willing to _________________. This helps me ___________________. When you _________________, I feel __________________. Would you help me by ____________________?3 Can you help me __________________? less alone, more confident, etc.)
This helps me feel ____________________ (supported, appreciated,
I’d like to try _______________________. Can you help me? Do I need to express my point of view? Example scripts: When you ______________, I felt _________________. It was hard for me because ____________________. When I heard ________________, I felt _____________. It was hard for me because ____________________. I feel ______________ about _______________. Would you be willing to listen to my feelings on this matter? Do I need to set a limit? Example scripts:
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
I don’t feel comfortable ______________________________________.
5
I’m sincerely sorry and I’m not able to ___________________________. I disagree with _____________________. Even though we don’t agree on this, our relationship is important to me. I’m glad we can be different and still be close. I’m concerned about _______________. Would you be willing to ________________? When I_________________, I feel ________________.
I’m going to set _____________limit to care for myself.
Do I need to do nothing? Do I need to come to terms with what I can’t change? Do I need to mourn or grieve? If so, please allow yourself to grieve, cry your tears, wail, moan, and release the feeling of sadness.
Part IV: Assess your emotional state. Please pause, giving yourself a moment for this healing work to “sink in.” Thank yourself for doing this work. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all and 10 being very strongly, please rate your desire to eat. 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
If it’s above a 6, please consider getting more support by calling a trusted friend, loved one, sponsor, or counselor. It may take more than one worksheet to work through strong feelings. What else is arising in you? If there are more needs and feelings coming up to be processed, consider doing a separate worksheet on those feelings, either now or at another time. And then continue on through the rest of Heal Overeating: Untangled... (Endnotes) 1 From Harville Hendrix, founder of Imago therapy 2 From Maureen Bright, parent educator and coach 3 From Marshall Rosenberg, creator of nonviolent communication
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
By Karly Randolph Pitman
A special excerpt from Karly’s comprehensive 12 session program.
In this worksheet, you’re going to unhook from the powerful needs and feelings that trigger overeating. These feelings arise from the primitive “old brain,”1 the part of our brain that stores wounds and that’s in charge of our survival. When you soothe the “old brain,” you soothe your desire to overeat. You do this not by controlling, perfecting, judging, or striving, but by embracing your tender, imperfect, vulnerable humanity. You heal by listening and caring, by creating a loving relationship with every part of yourself. In order to facilitate healing, it’s important that we put aside our judgment of our feelings - “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” We accept that we’re upset, that we’re feeling triggered, and we accept our point of view and perceptions.
© Five Oceans Press
1
Karly Randolph Pitman writes, speaks, lives and teaches the path of growing human(kind)ness, a compassion based therapy to heal the roots of food suffering. Her work offers a combination of structure and fluidity – a balance between intuitive eating and weigh and measure programs – that eases the vacillation between bingeing and restrictive eating. Rather than using will power, punishment, control, or fear as the means for creating change, Karly’s approach uses the power of relationship, deep listening, and kindness to gently effect the growth you desire with food and weight. While freedom from bingeing and weight loss are common side effects, those who’ve used this approach also report greater self compassion, self love, and self esteem, and less perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and anxiety. Learn more at www.karlyrandolphpitman.com.
To learn more about Karly’s process, and to sample
This doesn’t mean that we’re in agreement. Rather, we’re accepting that there’s a wounded part of us that’s hurt, that has an unmet need. As we show this hurt part of ourselves compassion, it softens. The pain releases from the body; it moves. We feel less reactive, less inclined to overeat, and more whole. We heal the roots of overeating as we also heal ourselves.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
About the author
additional helpful tools like this worksheet, you may enjoy Heal Overeating: Untangled. With over 12 hours of audio teachings, experiential exercises, worksheets, suggested practice exercises, and more, you’ll learn how to soothe your overeating without white knuckling it. Learn how kindness is the doorway to the change that you desire in your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. Learn more at www.healovereating.com
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
2 Part I: Identify the wound — the triggers, needs and feelings. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all and 10 being very strongly, please rate your desire to eat (binge, overeat, or use food for comfort.) 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Please describe the trigger (the feeling, memory, thought, event) that primed this desire for food.
How do you feel? Pay particular attention to feelings of fear, anger, sadness and frustration. Don’t censor your feelings, minimize them, dismiss them, edit them or intellectualize them (go to the head.) Stay at the level of feeling and let it all out.
Other times I’ve felt this way….
How do those feelings feel in the body (what bodily sensations accompany them)? Where do you feel them in the body?
Part II: Care for the wound with deep listening & compassion. Offer yourself deep listening, “I hear you.” Mirror back what you just expressed by completing the following statements. What would you want a loved one to say if you were sharing your feelings with them? Offer yourself this same compassion.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
3 I hear that you’re feeling… I hear that you’re saying… You’re wanting…. You’re wishing… You’re needing… Anything else? Offer yourself validation, “I understand you.” Give yourself understanding – that your feelings are valid and understandable, perfectly legitimate given your personal life experiences. “I understand why you feel this way. It makes so much sense!” “I understand why this is hard for you.” “You feel strongly about this!”2 “Of course!”
Offer yourself compassion, “I care about you.” Offer empathy to your hurt: “I care that you feel scared. I care that you’re hurting. I’m so sorry.” For greater nurturing, you can rock yourself in a rocking chair, sway back and forth as if you were cuddling an infant, wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, cuddle a stuffed animal while you cry, or close your eyes and put your hand on your heart – anything that helps that hurting part of you feel loved and comforted (without eating!) In your words and actions, convey to yourself, “I care that you’re hurting. I care about your suffering.” Every part of you wants to be seen, heard and understood. Every part of you wants to be loved. Can you soften your judgment of the desire to binge? Can you look at it less an enemy and more as a wounded, hurting part of you who’s begging to be heard? Can you offer this part of yourself forgiveness? If it’s in you, please write down a statement of forgiveness, love or acceptance towards the needs that are under the food.
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
Part III: Move into solutions. Care for the wound with action.
4
Now we move from understanding into action. This is where you move to find solutions. Ask yourself: What does this hurting part of me need? What, if any, action do I feel compelled to take to meet it? You can make requests that are internal, of yourself, or external, from others. Here are some ways you can move to meet the need: Do I need to ask for clarification? Example scripts: What did you mean by __________________? I’m looking for clarity. Can you explain ___________________? Can you share your intention in ___________________? You’re important to me, and I want to understand your point of view/request/feelings/needs. Can you clarify ____________________ for me? Do I need to make a specific request? Example scripts: Would you be willing to _________________. This helps me ___________________. When you _________________, I feel __________________. Would you help me by ____________________?3 Can you help me __________________? less alone, more confident, etc.)
This helps me feel ____________________ (supported, appreciated,
I’d like to try _______________________. Can you help me? Do I need to express my point of view? Example scripts: When you ______________, I felt _________________. It was hard for me because ____________________. When I heard ________________, I felt _____________. It was hard for me because ____________________. I feel ______________ about _______________. Would you be willing to listen to my feelings on this matter? Do I need to set a limit? Example scripts:
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
I don’t feel comfortable ______________________________________.
5
I’m sincerely sorry and I’m not able to ___________________________. I disagree with _____________________. Even though we don’t agree on this, our relationship is important to me. I’m glad we can be different and still be close. I’m concerned about _______________. Would you be willing to ________________? When I_________________, I feel ________________.
I’m going to set _____________limit to care for myself.
Do I need to do nothing? Do I need to come to terms with what I can’t change? Do I need to mourn or grieve? If so, please allow yourself to grieve, cry your tears, wail, moan, and release the feeling of sadness.
Part IV: Assess your emotional state. Please pause, giving yourself a moment for this healing work to “sink in.” Thank yourself for doing this work. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not at all and 10 being very strongly, please rate your desire to eat. 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
If it’s above a 6, please consider getting more support by calling a trusted friend, loved one, sponsor, or counselor. It may take more than one worksheet to work through strong feelings. What else is arising in you? If there are more needs and feelings coming up to be processed, consider doing a separate worksheet on those feelings, either now or at another time. And then continue on through the rest of Heal Overeating: Untangled... (Endnotes) 1 From Harville Hendrix, founder of Imago therapy 2 From Maureen Bright, parent educator and coach 3 From Marshall Rosenberg, creator of nonviolent communication
Binge Rescue Worksheet: How to rescue yourself (or recover) from a food binge man
© Five Oceans Press
www.healovereating.com
By Karly Randolph Pit-
