A VIEW FROM THE PEW
Be Still Ministry •
•
•
Maintain clear and well defined boundaries between your personal life and the church. The church can be as time consuming as you allow. Living next door to the church can be a challenge – consider ways to maintain privacy. When preparing for vacation, have your spouse make arrangements with another pastor or the district superintendant to be available/on-call for church emergencies.
‘Be Still’ is a ministry for and with clergy spouses in
A VIEW FROM
the Indiana Conference. 'Be Still' wants to provide a
THE PEW
way to connect with others and a safe place to share joys and challenges.
Clergy spouses often experience loneliness and isolation. Challenging times at a church can involve unreal expectations, difficult circumstances or even boundary issues
There are spouses who are wiling to listen and walk alongside those who are feeling alone, confused or discouraged.
If you are interested in hearing from a caring spouse contact Julie Pimlott at [email protected] or 812-663-5773 or Jacquie Reed at [email protected] or 317-577-8867.
Taking care of yourself each day and in times of change
Healthy Boundaries 9. If anyone criticizes you or makes an unkind remark about you or your family, that is their problem, not yours. You are an individual and have the right to be who you are. Children, too, have the right to be themselves. 10. Encourage your spouse to participate in a covenant group with other pastors. These groups are a good source
A Clergy Spouse Self-Care Top Ten Caring For Yourself 1. Cultivate your walk with God in whatever way you
find meaningful. 2. Spend time in silence. 3. Nurture yourself, the essence of how God created you.
of friendship, accountability, as well as a forum to discuss the joys and challenges of ministry. A covenant group is one way to help your spouse stay healthy, balanced, and contributes to your spouse’s wellbeing. When your spouse is able to feel connection and support from other
Setting boundaries is about much more than making sure to maintain appropriate relationships between people. Boundaries help you not to lose track of who you are in the midst of a life that can feel like (and sometimes is) 24/7 ministry. They are essential for your own personal wellbeing and you are strongly encouraged to evaluate where your boundaries as a clergy spouse lie. The following are some possible places to begin.
pastors, your spouse can be more present and engaged to you and your family.
•
Honor and cherish your spouse and your children (if you have children) by having designated times together that are not to be interrupted except for emergencies.
•
If you have children, make a deliberate decision about the amount of time to give to church events and activities.
Allow yourself time for hobbies & special interests. 4. Seek friendships as you feel comfortable. 5. Exercise regularly to maintain good physical, mental, and spiritual health. 6. Strive for balance in your life. Jesus spent time with people, teaching, preaching, and healing. Jesus, however, repeatedly, sought time away from the demands of
•
ministry. Caring For Your Family 7. Remember that your spouse is your spouse and not your pastor. 8. Decide with your spouse your financial contributions to the church. Move toward tithing as you are able.
•
You define who you want to be in any church. Your ‘role’ as the pastor’s spouse is for you to set. Re-evaluate any expectations (either from the church or what you place on yourself) about the way you want to participate in the church. (continued on back)
•
•
Maintain clear and well defined boundaries between your personal life and the church. The church can be as time consuming as you allow. Living next door to the church can be a challenge – consider ways to maintain privacy. When preparing for vacation, have your spouse make arrangements with another pastor or the district superintendant to be available/on-call for church emergencies.
‘Be Still’ is a ministry for and with clergy spouses in
A VIEW FROM
the Indiana Conference. 'Be Still' wants to provide a
THE PEW
way to connect with others and a safe place to share joys and challenges.
Clergy spouses often experience loneliness and isolation. Challenging times at a church can involve unreal expectations, difficult circumstances or even boundary issues
There are spouses who are wiling to listen and walk alongside those who are feeling alone, confused or discouraged.
If you are interested in hearing from a caring spouse contact Julie Pimlott at [email protected] or 812-663-5773 or Jacquie Reed at [email protected] or 317-577-8867.
Taking care of yourself each day and in times of change
Healthy Boundaries 9. If anyone criticizes you or makes an unkind remark about you or your family, that is their problem, not yours. You are an individual and have the right to be who you are. Children, too, have the right to be themselves. 10. Encourage your spouse to participate in a covenant group with other pastors. These groups are a good source
A Clergy Spouse Self-Care Top Ten Caring For Yourself 1. Cultivate your walk with God in whatever way you
find meaningful. 2. Spend time in silence. 3. Nurture yourself, the essence of how God created you.
of friendship, accountability, as well as a forum to discuss the joys and challenges of ministry. A covenant group is one way to help your spouse stay healthy, balanced, and contributes to your spouse’s wellbeing. When your spouse is able to feel connection and support from other
Setting boundaries is about much more than making sure to maintain appropriate relationships between people. Boundaries help you not to lose track of who you are in the midst of a life that can feel like (and sometimes is) 24/7 ministry. They are essential for your own personal wellbeing and you are strongly encouraged to evaluate where your boundaries as a clergy spouse lie. The following are some possible places to begin.
pastors, your spouse can be more present and engaged to you and your family.
•
Honor and cherish your spouse and your children (if you have children) by having designated times together that are not to be interrupted except for emergencies.
•
If you have children, make a deliberate decision about the amount of time to give to church events and activities.
Allow yourself time for hobbies & special interests. 4. Seek friendships as you feel comfortable. 5. Exercise regularly to maintain good physical, mental, and spiritual health. 6. Strive for balance in your life. Jesus spent time with people, teaching, preaching, and healing. Jesus, however, repeatedly, sought time away from the demands of
•
ministry. Caring For Your Family 7. Remember that your spouse is your spouse and not your pastor. 8. Decide with your spouse your financial contributions to the church. Move toward tithing as you are able.
•
You define who you want to be in any church. Your ‘role’ as the pastor’s spouse is for you to set. Re-evaluate any expectations (either from the church or what you place on yourself) about the way you want to participate in the church. (continued on back)
