Inspirations

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Inspirations

Gabriela Eikeland - - Womyn's Path of Healing -- Where the heart speaks

Acceptance There is a lot of confusion surrounding the term acceptance but I think what often seems like an even greater challenge is how do we bring acceptance into a full circle, how do we move from acceptance toward positive change?

The first half of the circle is about what acceptance itself really means Acceptance is not a passive submission to adversity and negativity, and it does not mean putting up with whatever unkind thing is being said and done. Accepting, may it be someone else's behavior, a challenge, or a situation, means recognizing reality. It means to clearly see what is going on. It is about naming the challenge, being aware of the problem, the challenge, or the issue. Acceptance is about taking the initiative of practicing mindfulness by bringing your awareness into the present moment. It is not about liking what is being said or done. It is not about condoning bad behavior or negotiating your values. Acceptance is the point where you allow yourself to step away from the notions of how things "should" or "shouldn't" be and you arrive at the point of identifying what is.

The second half of completing the circle is action Here you are putting your energy toward a solution! It is an important step away from being problem focused toward becoming solution focused. Here you are saying "I get it...this is what I am dealing with...NOW how can I get to a better place with this? What can I do about this?" Sometimes we can't change anything about the situation itself - but what we can change is how we are dealing with it, how we are managing what has been handed to us.

Acceptance You are at the point now where you are tapping into your strengths and your resources and you are exploring your options toward change - internally or externally.

Bringing Acceptance into Full Circle

Acceptance is your choice put into action If you are by now hearing that inner voice that is telling you "Well that's easier said than done" - take a deep breath and then tell yourself "So what?!! Everything is easier said than done. Doesn't mean I can't or won't do it!" Take it one breath at the time! And remember, you are important - you ARE worth all the e orts in the world to make you happy and fulfilled.

The Invisible Barriers of Negative Internal Dialogue

At times, has it been easy for others to discourage you from following through with a great idea? Or have you discouraged yourself through negative self-talk and self-doubt? Thoughts like " I am not good enough"…..“Who am I to think that this is possible?”……“Compared to other people I fall short”….“People will judge me negatively if I…..”….“What will others think of me…?” “Nobody will care….” These self-doubts created by fear, and often years of conditioning, can turn into barriers that seem too big to overcome. The fatigue created by undervaluing ourselves is sti ing our desires, our goals, and cloud our true sense of self even further. If we allow these barriers to continuously dictate what directions in life we are taking then they become even larger barriers, they become this dis-empowering energy that will keep feeding us with all the unhealthy thoughts of self-doubt just to keep us from moving forward. On top of it all, the amount of time – months…years even – we allow for this to continue, the bigger the challenge of knowing what steps to take to overcome these invisible barriers. The emotional pain that accompanies these invisible barriers of self-doubt and negative self-talk has taken over our lives for far too long, and the process of creating new experiences for ourselves must begin today!

The Invisible Barriers of Negative Internal Dialogue The work of creating a new inner dialogue which will hold space for a di erent type of energy within our process of thinking is challenging. We can’t expect an overnight x for something that has been part of us for so long. However, and this is a huge “however” when we begin our journey with someone who has our back as we work through it all, someone who keeps us motivated and serves as an accountability partner, the breaks to negative self-talk come on and they do not come off! Over and over I have seen it happening in my coaching practice at Womyn’s Path of Healing. When the journey of creating a new thought process begins, there is an excitement that comes to light! An excitement that brings out the strength, will-power, and resiliency in the women I have the pleasure to work with and it is nothing short of amazing and remarkable!

The Invisible Barriers of Negative Internal Dialogue

You matter: The Healing power of creating personal boundaries Our voices, experiences, values, and goals matter! As women, we often have greater expectations of ourselves than any reasonable human could possibly expect to achieve. We have careers, and then come home and raise children, cook dinner, clean the house, and take care of our husbands. There is a certain stigma against those who don't follow this pattern, as if saying 'no' is so forbidden we can't even speak of it. Setting boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining your health, and learning how to embrace your inner strengths. As women, learning how to say 'no' is something no one has ever taught us, but it is just as vital and important as being able to say 'yes.' How personal boundaries can help you Have you ever been pushed into doing something you didn't really want to do? Perhaps you just started a new relationship and your new man already wants to be intimate when you're not ready. You might say no, or you may give in because you're afraid he won't want to stay with you if you don't. This is a personal boundary and allowing it to be ignored just leads to more boundaries being broken down. While you may think having no boundaries will help you grow in your relationship, the reality is that being able to say 'no' when you are not comfortable produces the opposite: Loving commitments with people who understand. It's never too late to start The people in your life, yes even the people who love you and want the best for you, may be a little surprised or disgruntled when you suddenly change the rules on them. That's okay. Making these changes will positively impact everyone around you with time and though your family might not like the changes at first, the results will be well worth it.

You matter: The Healing power of creating personal boundaries Help the change through embracing inner strengths I n order to be successful at setting personal boundaries, you may nd it helpful to look inside you for those inner strengths, and help them to shine. Science has long studied how we interact with the world, and have discovered that inner strengths such as positive thinking, self-soothing, and self respect can make a di erence not only in yourself, but in the people around you. Most of the inner strength you have in you was there since the day you were born. If it feels like you don't have that trait, it isn't that it is not there, but that you may have denied yourself the right to embrace it yet! The path to these inner strength lies in strengthening them, and helping yourself to change how you think for the better. When someone tries to bully you into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, say no. That uncomfortable feeling is your heart letting you know it isn't ready for these actions, whether it is your son wanting to dash across the street by himself, or a lover who wants a little more than you're ready to give. Respect the boundaries that your heart is asking for, and you will come away feeling healthier and more alive.

Are you being “Gaslighted”?

There are two forms of perception; the way we see ourselves and the world around us and the way others see us and the world around them. Perceptions guided by open-mindedness can be helpful and positive. Being open-minded to how perceptions of others di er from our own can enrich our own experiences and insights. It can make space for possibilities toward personal growth and discovery. With an open mind, we can learn how to use new concepts that build on existing ideas. If we are willing to consider new and di erent ideas we also create a catalyst for exibility in the problem-solving process.

The only perception we have control over is our own, we cannot control the perception of others. But is it possible to become so disorientated and confused to the point where we suddenly see ourselves through another person’s perception of us? Yes it is! Pay attention to the people around you: Are there some who regularly (and perhaps with a smile on their face) criticize you? Are there some who consistently change, or even deny, what happened or what was being said until you start second-guessing yourself and your feelings? Do you feel the need to apologize all the time for what you do or for who you are? Do you feel as though you’re a much weaker version of yourself now, whereas you were much more con dent in the past? Do you feel as though you suddenly lost your ability to make your own judgments? Has it become habitual to ask yourself “What is wrong with me?”

Are you being “Gaslighted”?

If those scenarios describe your experiences, you are not alone and chances are that you are being “Gaslighted” – a term used to describe a method that intends to undermine a person’s entire sense of reality. It is a practice that aims to make another person feel as though her sense of self, her experiences, and her feelings have no legitimacy. “Gaslighters” will use their version of reality to the point that we will end up seeing ourselves through their eyes! “Gaslighting” doesn’t always involve anger and it might not necessarily be done intentionally. But whether it is done intentionally or unintentionally – it is never okay and you don't have to put up with it! While it is true that in some circumstances we genuinely might be overreacting, it is also important for us to listen to our instincts. The problem is that we may have unlearned to trust our intuition, especially in the absence of external evidence! Our subconscious, however, will continue with this lingering feeling that “something just is not right”. Listen to this feeling and don’t be fearful to seek help, either professionally or through a trusted support network so that you can re-claim your true self and heal your relationship with yourself.

Are you being “Gaslighted”?

You are in motion.....but are you progressing?

Interesting...isn't it?! The concept of reinventing ourselves. What does it even mean? Does it mean we are always striving to start something new.....whether consciously or unconsciously....? Or does it mean we are always looking for ways to improve ourselves? And is there even a difference? And then there is the thought of how other people perceive what we are doing......do we appear to be 'all over the place'....? And if we are concerned about how other people perceive our e orts - we have a whole di erent question at hand: Are we defining ourselves on our own terms or...? So - either way, and back to the notion of reinventing ourselves, we are always moving. We are always in motion. But the essential question is: Are we progressing? Reinvention is de ned as: "to remake, or make-over, as in a di erent form..." So how is it different from being in motion ..? ~~In essence, the difference is intent~~

You are in motion.....but are you progressing?

Being in motion could mean anything from being very busy to spinning in circles with the same issues with no end in sight, or it could mean successfully following through with a given task to reach a goal. In contrast, reinventing ourselves requires us to look back at times in order to do some 'house cleaning' ....! It means to look at the habits we carried over from our past into the present that really don't serve us and/or do nothing toward accomplishing our goals - OR - it all looks wonderful and yet there is a stirring within you that you can no longer ignore, a stirring that urges you to strengthen certain aspects of what you are already doing and a prompting to let go of the rest. One way or another, reinventing yourself must be done with purpose. It must come from a place of intent. It requires an honest look at what it is you need to change or adjust in order to empower yourself and move forward with what you need to do. It means to be connected to your calling! Now, when you reach this moment, you are doing the switch from being in motion to reinventing yourself!

You are in motion.....but are you progressing?

Part I - Self-Nurturing and Wellness Connection

Self-care and self-nurturing are so vital to our health and absolutely essential for balance and self healing. So often though, when we nurture and care, we extend nurturing and caring to family and loved ones and caring for the “Self” does not receive the same level of attention. This can amount to all sorts of unhealthy pattern - one being that it can get us into, or perpetuate, an already existing cycle of negative and deprecating thoughts toward ourselves. We tend to procrastinate adapting healthy and self-nurturing strategies for so many reasons but it all comes down to one underlying dynamic: We don’t appreciate and value our own-self enough - thinking we are somehow undeserving and giving into the faulty, guilt and shame producing notion that if we take care of ourselves and our needs we are being selfish. “It's not selfish to give TO yourself as much as you give OF yourself” – Suze Orman. It is time to break free. It is time to establish, and give attention to, a self-care and selfnurturing routine so that you can create an authentic and healthy relationship with the “Self” that is free from biases and self-deprecation. And by giving to yourself you will be able to give back to others without “burning out” ! “What you love is what you make time for" --Joseph Campbell At Womyn's Path of Healing we deeply appreciate and celebrate the wisdom and strengths in each and every woman!

Part I - Self-Nurturing and Wellness Connection

Part II - Self-Nurturing and Wellness Connection: Compassion Fatigue Compassion Fatigue characteristically manifests itself through chronic stress resulting from our work in the care-giving professions or as caregivers in our personal lives. The terms burnout, vicarious trauma, and compassion fatigue are often used within the same context, and although the terms are complementary, they are essentially different from one another. Compassion Fatigue refers to the profound emotional and physical wearing away of energy and strength that takes place when this very energy and strength is not being replenished and restored through adequate and well-deserved emotional self-care. People who are concerned about the welfare of others and have a profound identi cation with suffering or trauma are those who are most susceptible to burnout and compassion fatigue. From an early age on, we are often taught to care for the needs of others before caring for our own and self-care practices are often missing from our lives. When we nurture and care, we extend nurturing and caring for family and loved ones and caring for the “Self” does not receive the same level of attention (See my blog: Self-care and Wellness Connection Part I http://www.womynspathofhealing.com/single-post/2017/10/13/SelfNurturing-and-Wellness-Connection). In addition, what comes into play more often than not are the feelings of guilt we experience when compassion fatigue makes itself present. If you nd yourself in this place, gift yourself with this thought: the presence of compassion fatigue in your life simply serves to highlight the fact that you are a very caring individual who is deeply concerned about the welfare of others! Take care of yourself and remember, you cannot give what you don’t have! If you are feeling emotionally exhausted and your own needs are being neglected, you cannot be there emotionally for others.

Part II - Self-Nurturing and Wellness Connection: Compassion Fatigue

Can I Be Of Service To You?

I coach from a woman-a rming perspective. I don't believe in a one- ts-all-approach, and I am not a fan of fancy models that oftentimes don't even take in consideration the needs of women. I strongly support that the coaching needs of women are very di erent to those of men and as a female coach I fully understand the challenges that may underline a woman’s life and experiences. When we, as women, have learned to distrust our voice we lose con dence in our own judgment and in our own sense of self. As your coach, I will deeply listen to you, and I will support you 100% on your chosen journey towards wellness! My nurturing, traumasensitive, and empowering coaching approach will provide you with a unique opportunity to embrace your healing journey in powerful and effective ways. Your coaching sessions will be tailored to your goals and needs with your unique personality, values, and life circumstances in mind! This process encourages you to break free from past experiences that prevent you from moving forward. Let’s go nd the parts that have been left behind, the issues and challenges that make you feel stuck, frozen, trapped, and unsafe. I always have your back and together we WILL get things done! I invite you to schedule your free consultation with me and look forward to talking with you.

Contact Me

Can I Be Of Service To You?

Can I Be Of Service To You?

I invite you to share this booklet with other women Let's lift each other up! (((hugs))) Gabriela Eikeland Womyn's Path of Healing [email protected] 250.203.4195