your son
5
conversations
you must have with
your son
THE BIBLE STUDY Viewer Guides with Answers
Vicki Courtney Published by LifeWay Press®. © 2011 Vicki Courtney. Permission is granted to store, print, and distribute this document for its intended use. Distribution for sale is strictly prohibited. Address requests for additional permissions in writing to Leadership and Adult Publishing; One LifeWay Plaza; Nashville, TN 37234-0175.
session one
“Don’t define manhood by the culture’s wimpy standards. It’s OK to be a man!” Manhood is suffering an identity
crisis .
Even secular media is asking, What’s going on with our men?
SESSION1
Three truths give us the biblical foundation for manhood. GENESIS 1:25-31 1. God created man in His image (v. 26). Image = tselem, tseh´-lem; to “shade or phantom ” We resemble Him .
VIDEO GUIDE
INTRO and Conversation 1
2. Male and female, He created them (v. 27). 3. God gave man the charge to subdue the earth (v. 28). Subdue = kâbash, kaw-bash´; to “conquer, subjugate, bring into bondage” How do we temper our sons’ natural energy and aggression without stifling their inner warrior? Jesus gives us the perfect balance of manliness with tenderness .
tempered
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Share some examples you are seeing of your son’s (1) emerging manhood and/or (2) his expressions of tenderness. Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
9
sesion two
“What you don’t learn to conquer may become your master.” Helpful verses on self-control: 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19; Romans 6:16
SESSION2
Enslaved: “cause to lose freedom of choice or action ; make subject to a habit.” Solution: A good formula is STP (STOP, THINK, PRAY) STOP : Stop. Regroup. Replace. Take captive every thought (2 Cor. 10:5). We must give our sons the tools tempting thoughts or activities with wholesome ones.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 2
to replace
THINK : If you’ve ever wondered about your sons, What were they thinking?, they weren’t! The frontal lobe is that center of the brain that connects consequences to decisions and actions. PRAY : The most powerful thing they can do is pray for the strength that comes from God to resist temptations (Matt. 26:41).
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What most concerns you about what your sons will face? What most encourages you? Leslie shared how Son Time every night throughout their lives yields special benefits for her family. Share similar experiences you have had with your sons. Or what could you start doing right now? Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
39
session three
“Not everyone’s doing it!” (And other truths about sex you won’t hear in the locker room.) Our sons are growing up in a culture that assumes everyone will have sex outside of marriage. It’s up to us to make sure they know what God has to say about sex.
SESSION3
Be proactive without robbing your sons of their innocence. For example, “You may be hearing this word at school. We want to talk to make sure you have the information God wants you to have.”
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 3
In 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, Paul presents the why behind God’s command to save sex for marriage. Verse 18 suggests a solution to escaping the temptation. The two will become one flesh: Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31 Oxytocin = bonding/trust hormone Sex outside of marriage short-circuits God’s design for sex.
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Describe the plan you have in place to educate your son about God’s standards for sex. Jot down a few possible transition statements to lead into a discussion about sex.
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
69
session four
“Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It’s time to grow up!” Failure to launch syndrome: “Boomerang kids” or “Peter Pans who shave” Corporations and marketers are being encouraged to consider the often-overlooked 25-to-34-year age group as part of the youth market .
SESSION4
What’s a mother to do? We must have a launch plan in place in which we’re purposeful about moving our sons from one stage to the next.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 4
Pre launch: ages 2-12 Introduce them to skills of personal responsibility , money management, goal setting Test launch: ages 13-18 More independence, exercising skills they have been taught, assuming ownership Final launch: ages 19-22 Increasingly independent , entering workplace or college or military 1 Corinthians 13:11 Manhood is a state in which childishness should have become impossible .
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What steps are you currently taking to launch your son into adulthood?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
99
session five
“Godly men are in short supply— dare to become one!” Times haven’t changed much. We still want to raise good boys. Luke 15:11-32
SESSION5
Goodness doesn’t always translate to godliness . We want to raise sons who pursue godliness over goodness. If we focus on behavior modification rather than heart inhabitation or examination, we run the risk of raising a Pharisee.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 5
We need to pay attention to the inside of the cup and not just to the outside. Out of the heart are the issues of life. We need to teach our sons that God heart, first and foremost.
is
after
your
Hebrew word for examine is shaphat (shaw-fat´), which means to “judge,” as in to pass sentence for or against. The idea of inviting God to put our hearts on trial can be unsettling. Remember the father, with both the prodigal son and the elder son, and his unconditional , unfailing love . He was after their hearts.
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Do you find yourself tending to parent your son’s behavior or your son’s heart? How can you tell?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
127
Five Conversations
VIDEO GUIDE
train up a child Where’s the chart?
SESSION6 These conversations are intended to be ongoing . We’re all works in progress. A disturbingly high percentage of kids raised in church turn their backs on faith. Best parenting strategy of all time: Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NIV 4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 L ove the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 T hese commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 T ie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 W rite them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
A couple of takeaways from this passage sum up the charge God has given us as mothers. Our primary purpose and calling : Raise kids who love God with their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
158
1. It begins with us . We are to love the Lord our God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Are we modeling something else as more important? Love: aw-hab´; “to have affection for.” Where we place God in our order of affections will have greater influence on our children than any other form of Christian discipleship. 2. W e are called to be the primary disciplers of our sons (vv. 7-9).
VIDEO GUIDE
session six
Phylactery contained four key passages, one of which was Deuteronomy 6. Purpose: Reminder of their covenant with God. 3. W e disciple as we go, making in our children’s lives.
holy
deposits
If we are faithful in tending to our hearts, making sure that our primary affection is for the Lord, then our kids will catch that. Remember the cross (RTC). Be good because of what Christ
has
done
(Rom. 5:8).
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What, if anything, consumes your time or your family’s attention more than God?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
159
conversations
you must have with
your son
THE BIBLE STUDY Viewer Guides with Answers
Vicki Courtney Published by LifeWay Press®. © 2011 Vicki Courtney. Permission is granted to store, print, and distribute this document for its intended use. Distribution for sale is strictly prohibited. Address requests for additional permissions in writing to Leadership and Adult Publishing; One LifeWay Plaza; Nashville, TN 37234-0175.
session one
“Don’t define manhood by the culture’s wimpy standards. It’s OK to be a man!” Manhood is suffering an identity
crisis .
Even secular media is asking, What’s going on with our men?
SESSION1
Three truths give us the biblical foundation for manhood. GENESIS 1:25-31 1. God created man in His image (v. 26). Image = tselem, tseh´-lem; to “shade or phantom ” We resemble Him .
VIDEO GUIDE
INTRO and Conversation 1
2. Male and female, He created them (v. 27). 3. God gave man the charge to subdue the earth (v. 28). Subdue = kâbash, kaw-bash´; to “conquer, subjugate, bring into bondage” How do we temper our sons’ natural energy and aggression without stifling their inner warrior? Jesus gives us the perfect balance of manliness with tenderness .
tempered
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Share some examples you are seeing of your son’s (1) emerging manhood and/or (2) his expressions of tenderness. Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
9
sesion two
“What you don’t learn to conquer may become your master.” Helpful verses on self-control: 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19; Romans 6:16
SESSION2
Enslaved: “cause to lose freedom of choice or action ; make subject to a habit.” Solution: A good formula is STP (STOP, THINK, PRAY) STOP : Stop. Regroup. Replace. Take captive every thought (2 Cor. 10:5). We must give our sons the tools tempting thoughts or activities with wholesome ones.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 2
to replace
THINK : If you’ve ever wondered about your sons, What were they thinking?, they weren’t! The frontal lobe is that center of the brain that connects consequences to decisions and actions. PRAY : The most powerful thing they can do is pray for the strength that comes from God to resist temptations (Matt. 26:41).
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What most concerns you about what your sons will face? What most encourages you? Leslie shared how Son Time every night throughout their lives yields special benefits for her family. Share similar experiences you have had with your sons. Or what could you start doing right now? Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
39
session three
“Not everyone’s doing it!” (And other truths about sex you won’t hear in the locker room.) Our sons are growing up in a culture that assumes everyone will have sex outside of marriage. It’s up to us to make sure they know what God has to say about sex.
SESSION3
Be proactive without robbing your sons of their innocence. For example, “You may be hearing this word at school. We want to talk to make sure you have the information God wants you to have.”
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 3
In 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, Paul presents the why behind God’s command to save sex for marriage. Verse 18 suggests a solution to escaping the temptation. The two will become one flesh: Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31 Oxytocin = bonding/trust hormone Sex outside of marriage short-circuits God’s design for sex.
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Describe the plan you have in place to educate your son about God’s standards for sex. Jot down a few possible transition statements to lead into a discussion about sex.
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
69
session four
“Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It’s time to grow up!” Failure to launch syndrome: “Boomerang kids” or “Peter Pans who shave” Corporations and marketers are being encouraged to consider the often-overlooked 25-to-34-year age group as part of the youth market .
SESSION4
What’s a mother to do? We must have a launch plan in place in which we’re purposeful about moving our sons from one stage to the next.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 4
Pre launch: ages 2-12 Introduce them to skills of personal responsibility , money management, goal setting Test launch: ages 13-18 More independence, exercising skills they have been taught, assuming ownership Final launch: ages 19-22 Increasingly independent , entering workplace or college or military 1 Corinthians 13:11 Manhood is a state in which childishness should have become impossible .
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What steps are you currently taking to launch your son into adulthood?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
99
session five
“Godly men are in short supply— dare to become one!” Times haven’t changed much. We still want to raise good boys. Luke 15:11-32
SESSION5
Goodness doesn’t always translate to godliness . We want to raise sons who pursue godliness over goodness. If we focus on behavior modification rather than heart inhabitation or examination, we run the risk of raising a Pharisee.
VIDEO GUIDE
Conversation 5
We need to pay attention to the inside of the cup and not just to the outside. Out of the heart are the issues of life. We need to teach our sons that God heart, first and foremost.
is
after
your
Hebrew word for examine is shaphat (shaw-fat´), which means to “judge,” as in to pass sentence for or against. The idea of inviting God to put our hearts on trial can be unsettling. Remember the father, with both the prodigal son and the elder son, and his unconditional , unfailing love . He was after their hearts.
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: Do you find yourself tending to parent your son’s behavior or your son’s heart? How can you tell?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
127
Five Conversations
VIDEO GUIDE
train up a child Where’s the chart?
SESSION6 These conversations are intended to be ongoing . We’re all works in progress. A disturbingly high percentage of kids raised in church turn their backs on faith. Best parenting strategy of all time: Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NIV 4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 L ove the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 T hese commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 T ie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 W rite them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
A couple of takeaways from this passage sum up the charge God has given us as mothers. Our primary purpose and calling : Raise kids who love God with their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
158
1. It begins with us . We are to love the Lord our God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Are we modeling something else as more important? Love: aw-hab´; “to have affection for.” Where we place God in our order of affections will have greater influence on our children than any other form of Christian discipleship. 2. W e are called to be the primary disciplers of our sons (vv. 7-9).
VIDEO GUIDE
session six
Phylactery contained four key passages, one of which was Deuteronomy 6. Purpose: Reminder of their covenant with God. 3. W e disciple as we go, making in our children’s lives.
holy
deposits
If we are faithful in tending to our hearts, making sure that our primary affection is for the Lord, then our kids will catch that. Remember the cross (RTC). Be good because of what Christ
has
done
(Rom. 5:8).
CONVERSATION STARTERS with your group: What, if anything, consumes your time or your family’s attention more than God?
Interested in reviewing this or other 5 Conversations Bible study sessions? You can download all digital sessions by going to www.lifeway.com/women
159
