intervieW With
The Art of Having It All Christy Whitman’s
Interview with
Debbie Millman
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Having it all is not about striving for perfection, or about living our lives according to someone else’s standards or expectations (we’ve done that for far too long). It’s not about working ourselves to a state of exhaustion, spreading ourselves too thin, or trading inner peace and contentment for outer trinkets of success. Been there. Done that too. Having it all simply means having access to all of yourself, in any moment you choose it, and in every aspect of life that is important to you.
Go here to learn exactly how you too, can “Have it All”’
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
4 Questions with Christy Whitman
C:
How do you define your it and your all in your life?
Debbie
Millman: having it all in me looks like having a wholehearted approach to whatever it is I am doing. I spend the first 10 years of my career and experiencing what I call experiment and rejection and failure. Part of the reason I think I was having those experiences was because I was afraid to give it my all I was afraid if somehow I gave it my all that rejection and failure would kill me but in fact the very notion of not giving it my all was what was creating the sense of feeling and being rejecting I wasn’t giving my whole heart wasn’t given my whole self. I was almost avoiding the inevitable by trying to avoid the very thing I was afraid of. So for now all of these years later I am trying to go to every experience with a sense of possibility and the sense that if I’m not making enough mistakes am not taking enough risks and if I’m afraid of something chances are it means a great deal to me and the more I am afraid of something the more likely I should give my true whole heart to it and give everything that I have because your life does depend on giving everything your all, you have to. What other choice is there. I really feel for people now in their 20s and 30s because there is an expectation that somehow you graduate college and get out of the gate and you are expected to achieve success nearly instantaneously and I think that because we are living and what I now call 140 character culture everybody expects everything to happen quickly and I think really meaningful success and fulfillment takes a long time and it takes quite a lot of experiments because you don’t necessarily know right from the get-go what you’re going to be good at and what you are really fulfilled by so I think that the opportunity to experiment and know that some of those experiments aren’t going to go great but some of them are going to go really great is what gives you the opportunity to give you experiences which makes you a fuller richer person and I don’t mean richer in money about that can happen too I mean richer and vibrancy and richer in meaning. That’s where the word courage comes from the word courage etymology of the word courage is cour which means heart. So you have your whole heart into the sense of opportunity. One other thing I think is really important to talk about when having it all is the notion that you can’t go for it all until you feel a certain way about yourself. I feel smart enough or pretty enough or talented enough accomplished enough to go after this thing that I want. I think if that’s what Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
we are waiting for before we made the move we can potentially be waiting forever. The way we are biologically formed is our brain is three brain it’s really called three in one the reptilian brain the limbic symbol the Neo cortex. That reptilian brain is the part of the brain that involves all of our involuntary actions our digestion heartbeat and so forth and if we’re walking across the street in nearly get hit by a bicycle or a car that sense that we get that comedian see the adrenaline happens involuntarily we don’t will that to happen so that reptilian brain is always trying to keep us safe and out of harm’s way and always keep a secure. Because we don’t know what’s going to happen next the sense of well when I feel better about myself I will do this and when I feel better about how I look I will do that then it’s never going to happen because the reptilian brain is always protecting us from the unknown and the unknown in the future is always unknown so it’s waiting for that to think and waiting for that to happen we could be waiting forever. So I don’t think it’s the confidence that’s critical I think it’s the courage when people say when I feel confident enough well why do you have to wait for your confidence to kick in? Why not make your courage the most important in the lead gene and taking an action because you need to be courageous. I just started an undergraduate class last night the first one of the semester and I teach undergrads seniors how to get a job when they graduate. I always ask the students why are you here what do you hope to learn and they want to learn about presentation skills for communication skills or ways in which they can really prepare for interviewing. So I say to them you want to learn presentation skills what does that really mean? You can learn the skills but if you don’t have anything to say what a skills going to do for you? So it’s really about knowing what it is you want to talk about knowing what it is you want to experience that’s really more important than the expertise. You can practice and challenge the way you do things over and over again without any expense that this is the has to be with I don’t do it this way it’s wrong so I think those are really important tenets to consider.
C:
What is your core belief about yourself or the universe that allows you to have the experience of having it all?
Debbie
Millman: I really believe that everybody has a path in life. Everybody has their opportunities everybody has their challenges. And I feel that for the first 30 some odd years of my life I lived within a very fixed set of what I thought was possible for myself
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
I didn’t think I was very deserving and I didn’t think that I could really have it all. I don’t know that if I ever decided today is the day that I think I can have it all, the shift for me was acknowledging that I wanted it all. And that acknowledgment that I wanted that confession to myself that I did want more that I do want an extraordinary life and I do want a remarkable life I think that sense of honesty with myself gave me the sense that I could and should try for more than what I currently had and so that’s really been the basis of any successor have achieved in that moment of deciding I want more than this it really wasn’t about if I deserved it or if I could achieve it whether it was possible realistic unrealistic it was just a sense that I wanted and if I wanted for me today that’s enough. I gave myself permission I don’t know if it was an actionable moment where I looked back and set on this particular day I gave myself permission it was a slow build to realize that if I didn’t acknowledge that I wanted it all then I would live without having anything. And that wasn’t living. Debbie Millman: I also challenge people when they think that they can’t have it all with the notion of defining what all means to them and then what are the obstacles that prevent them from having it all and one of the big things that I hear is I’m so busy I can’t do this or I’m so busy I can’t do that and I think busy is a decision. I think we decide the things that we want to do sometimes they are by default sometimes they are intentional. I think that if we think that we can’t do something because we’re too busy what we are really saying to ourselves is that it’s not a priority. I think it really requires a certain honesty about what you want and then making choices to get that. And living honestly is most choices. So if you say you’re too busy to do self-generated artwork or you are too busy to read a book or do whatever it is maybe you can’t watch the entire season of game of thrones. And not to say that’s a bad thing it’s just we make the choices we do the things that we want to do. And if we don’t do them it might mean that we don’t want to do them or we are afraid of what might happen if we do them that we might fail or falter. So I think it’s really important to have an intentional honesty with yourself about what it is that you actually want. How you define it all is really arbitrary and entirely subjective but I think there does need to be a sense of honesty about what all means as you decide or not decide if you want it.
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
C:
When you are in a place of having it all what is that bottom line essence feeling for you?
Debbie
Millman: I recently tried to deconstruct the control freak in me what it is that I feel when do I feel best doing the various things that I do. Because I like to do a lot of different things is there a common denominator and all of those things so whether it be my job as president and CEO at Sterling Brands or be my job as chair in the school of visual arts of my podcast or art are writing and what I realized is I like to make something from nothing that’s my favorite feeling. So at Sterling when I work my day job so to speak coming up with business ideas and bringing in new clients that’s really my favorite thing to do and school of visual arts is about teaching new opportunities teaching new programs teaching students where there was nothing before. When I do my podcast it was about teaching programs that didn’t exist where people could hear her learn from so everything that I do I find the most fulfilling feeling when I am making something for creating something and if I can get to that moment once or twice a day that’s heaven for me. Being able to make something is paramount to feeling fulfilled. I feel like that such a privilege and for me that’s where I get my stamina and sense of self and my most joy.
C:
Can you offer one piece of advice to help them to get into that space of having it all?
Debbie
Millman: while this is going to sound really really silly and probably very unexpected but I’m going to say get enough sleep because we regenerate our brains when we sleep we regenerate our bodies and ourselves and the US is an epidemic of sleeplessness and when you don’t get enough sleep you can’t create or come up with new ideas you are trying to keep up with yourself you are not trying to come up with new things so I find the more sleep you get the more likely you are to come to the day with a lot of energy and it’s so funny because people ask me all the time Christy when do you sleep you do all these things. I say are you kidding I sleep is often and is much as I possibly can because then when you are awake you are fully awake you have all of your energy all of your faculties your brain is running and most capable and for people that don’t get enough sleep it’s like starting up a race car at a
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Nascar race without any gas in your car, if you don’t get enough sleep you cannot function so if you are struggling to come up with ideas or a plan sleep on it get into a place where you are taking care of yourself and resting enough and then you will be able to be much more active when you are awake. I don’t understand why some people think lack of sleep is like a badge of accomplishment like I only need four hours of sleep or I only got three hours of sleep last night as if it’s something to be proud of but that means you’re not taking care of yourself and you are not respecting your own energy and if you don’t respect your own energy it’s not going to perform and show up for you.
Debbie Millman For the past 20 years, Debbie Millman has been President of Sterling Brands, where she has worked on the redesign of over 200 global brands. In 2013, Debbie was named one of the most influential designers working today by GDUSA. Debbie Millman is also founder and host of Design Matters, the world’s first radio show about design, which has garnered millions of downloads and a Cooper Hewitt National Design Award. In the nine years since its inception, Millman has interviewed more than 250 design luminaries and cultural commentators. Along with Steven Heller, Debbie co-founded the first-ever graduate program in branding at the School of Visual Arts. Now in its 5th year, the program has achieved international acclaim. The inaugural class wrote and designed the Rockport book Brand Bible: The Complete Guide to Building, Designing and Sustaining Brands and in 2013 the students created the branding for the Museum of Modern Art’s retail program, Destination: New York. Debbie’s visual essays have appeared in Print Magazine, Design Observer and Fast Company. Her work has been exhibited at the Chicago Design Museum, Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum, Anderson University, School of Visual Arts, Long Island University and The Wolfsonion Museum. She has been artist-in-residence at Cranbrook University, Old Dominion University and Notre Dame University. She has designed wrapping paper and beach towels for One Kings Lane, greeting cards for Mohawk, playing cards for DeckStarter and sketchbooks for Shutterstock.
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Debbie is President Emeritus of AIGA, one of four women to hold the position in the organization’s 100-year history. She is also a frequent speaker and has moderated Design Yatra in India, presented keynote lectures at Rotman School of Management, Princeton University, Michigan Modern, PortableTV in Australia, Design Thinkers in Toronto, the Festival of Art and Design in Barcelona, and many more. She is the author of 5 books printed in over 10 languages and can be found on Twitter via @debbiemillman.
Right at this moment, no matter how you are feeling, no matter how in debt you might be, no matter how old you are or how much you weigh, and no matter what the condition of your relationships might be, you have the power to re-create yourself and your life exactly the way you desire it to be – and quite frankly, the way you deserve it to be. Regardless of how big a gap exists between what you want and what you currently have, within you is the ability to effortlessly and joyfully bridge that gap in virtually every aspect of your life. You can have it all, how you define it, how you want it. You do have the power to create it.
Go here to learn exactly how you can start having it all today!
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
Interview with
Debbie Millman
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Having it all is not about striving for perfection, or about living our lives according to someone else’s standards or expectations (we’ve done that for far too long). It’s not about working ourselves to a state of exhaustion, spreading ourselves too thin, or trading inner peace and contentment for outer trinkets of success. Been there. Done that too. Having it all simply means having access to all of yourself, in any moment you choose it, and in every aspect of life that is important to you.
Go here to learn exactly how you too, can “Have it All”’
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
4 Questions with Christy Whitman
C:
How do you define your it and your all in your life?
Debbie
Millman: having it all in me looks like having a wholehearted approach to whatever it is I am doing. I spend the first 10 years of my career and experiencing what I call experiment and rejection and failure. Part of the reason I think I was having those experiences was because I was afraid to give it my all I was afraid if somehow I gave it my all that rejection and failure would kill me but in fact the very notion of not giving it my all was what was creating the sense of feeling and being rejecting I wasn’t giving my whole heart wasn’t given my whole self. I was almost avoiding the inevitable by trying to avoid the very thing I was afraid of. So for now all of these years later I am trying to go to every experience with a sense of possibility and the sense that if I’m not making enough mistakes am not taking enough risks and if I’m afraid of something chances are it means a great deal to me and the more I am afraid of something the more likely I should give my true whole heart to it and give everything that I have because your life does depend on giving everything your all, you have to. What other choice is there. I really feel for people now in their 20s and 30s because there is an expectation that somehow you graduate college and get out of the gate and you are expected to achieve success nearly instantaneously and I think that because we are living and what I now call 140 character culture everybody expects everything to happen quickly and I think really meaningful success and fulfillment takes a long time and it takes quite a lot of experiments because you don’t necessarily know right from the get-go what you’re going to be good at and what you are really fulfilled by so I think that the opportunity to experiment and know that some of those experiments aren’t going to go great but some of them are going to go really great is what gives you the opportunity to give you experiences which makes you a fuller richer person and I don’t mean richer in money about that can happen too I mean richer and vibrancy and richer in meaning. That’s where the word courage comes from the word courage etymology of the word courage is cour which means heart. So you have your whole heart into the sense of opportunity. One other thing I think is really important to talk about when having it all is the notion that you can’t go for it all until you feel a certain way about yourself. I feel smart enough or pretty enough or talented enough accomplished enough to go after this thing that I want. I think if that’s what Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
we are waiting for before we made the move we can potentially be waiting forever. The way we are biologically formed is our brain is three brain it’s really called three in one the reptilian brain the limbic symbol the Neo cortex. That reptilian brain is the part of the brain that involves all of our involuntary actions our digestion heartbeat and so forth and if we’re walking across the street in nearly get hit by a bicycle or a car that sense that we get that comedian see the adrenaline happens involuntarily we don’t will that to happen so that reptilian brain is always trying to keep us safe and out of harm’s way and always keep a secure. Because we don’t know what’s going to happen next the sense of well when I feel better about myself I will do this and when I feel better about how I look I will do that then it’s never going to happen because the reptilian brain is always protecting us from the unknown and the unknown in the future is always unknown so it’s waiting for that to think and waiting for that to happen we could be waiting forever. So I don’t think it’s the confidence that’s critical I think it’s the courage when people say when I feel confident enough well why do you have to wait for your confidence to kick in? Why not make your courage the most important in the lead gene and taking an action because you need to be courageous. I just started an undergraduate class last night the first one of the semester and I teach undergrads seniors how to get a job when they graduate. I always ask the students why are you here what do you hope to learn and they want to learn about presentation skills for communication skills or ways in which they can really prepare for interviewing. So I say to them you want to learn presentation skills what does that really mean? You can learn the skills but if you don’t have anything to say what a skills going to do for you? So it’s really about knowing what it is you want to talk about knowing what it is you want to experience that’s really more important than the expertise. You can practice and challenge the way you do things over and over again without any expense that this is the has to be with I don’t do it this way it’s wrong so I think those are really important tenets to consider.
C:
What is your core belief about yourself or the universe that allows you to have the experience of having it all?
Debbie
Millman: I really believe that everybody has a path in life. Everybody has their opportunities everybody has their challenges. And I feel that for the first 30 some odd years of my life I lived within a very fixed set of what I thought was possible for myself
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
I didn’t think I was very deserving and I didn’t think that I could really have it all. I don’t know that if I ever decided today is the day that I think I can have it all, the shift for me was acknowledging that I wanted it all. And that acknowledgment that I wanted that confession to myself that I did want more that I do want an extraordinary life and I do want a remarkable life I think that sense of honesty with myself gave me the sense that I could and should try for more than what I currently had and so that’s really been the basis of any successor have achieved in that moment of deciding I want more than this it really wasn’t about if I deserved it or if I could achieve it whether it was possible realistic unrealistic it was just a sense that I wanted and if I wanted for me today that’s enough. I gave myself permission I don’t know if it was an actionable moment where I looked back and set on this particular day I gave myself permission it was a slow build to realize that if I didn’t acknowledge that I wanted it all then I would live without having anything. And that wasn’t living. Debbie Millman: I also challenge people when they think that they can’t have it all with the notion of defining what all means to them and then what are the obstacles that prevent them from having it all and one of the big things that I hear is I’m so busy I can’t do this or I’m so busy I can’t do that and I think busy is a decision. I think we decide the things that we want to do sometimes they are by default sometimes they are intentional. I think that if we think that we can’t do something because we’re too busy what we are really saying to ourselves is that it’s not a priority. I think it really requires a certain honesty about what you want and then making choices to get that. And living honestly is most choices. So if you say you’re too busy to do self-generated artwork or you are too busy to read a book or do whatever it is maybe you can’t watch the entire season of game of thrones. And not to say that’s a bad thing it’s just we make the choices we do the things that we want to do. And if we don’t do them it might mean that we don’t want to do them or we are afraid of what might happen if we do them that we might fail or falter. So I think it’s really important to have an intentional honesty with yourself about what it is that you actually want. How you define it all is really arbitrary and entirely subjective but I think there does need to be a sense of honesty about what all means as you decide or not decide if you want it.
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
C:
When you are in a place of having it all what is that bottom line essence feeling for you?
Debbie
Millman: I recently tried to deconstruct the control freak in me what it is that I feel when do I feel best doing the various things that I do. Because I like to do a lot of different things is there a common denominator and all of those things so whether it be my job as president and CEO at Sterling Brands or be my job as chair in the school of visual arts of my podcast or art are writing and what I realized is I like to make something from nothing that’s my favorite feeling. So at Sterling when I work my day job so to speak coming up with business ideas and bringing in new clients that’s really my favorite thing to do and school of visual arts is about teaching new opportunities teaching new programs teaching students where there was nothing before. When I do my podcast it was about teaching programs that didn’t exist where people could hear her learn from so everything that I do I find the most fulfilling feeling when I am making something for creating something and if I can get to that moment once or twice a day that’s heaven for me. Being able to make something is paramount to feeling fulfilled. I feel like that such a privilege and for me that’s where I get my stamina and sense of self and my most joy.
C:
Can you offer one piece of advice to help them to get into that space of having it all?
Debbie
Millman: while this is going to sound really really silly and probably very unexpected but I’m going to say get enough sleep because we regenerate our brains when we sleep we regenerate our bodies and ourselves and the US is an epidemic of sleeplessness and when you don’t get enough sleep you can’t create or come up with new ideas you are trying to keep up with yourself you are not trying to come up with new things so I find the more sleep you get the more likely you are to come to the day with a lot of energy and it’s so funny because people ask me all the time Christy when do you sleep you do all these things. I say are you kidding I sleep is often and is much as I possibly can because then when you are awake you are fully awake you have all of your energy all of your faculties your brain is running and most capable and for people that don’t get enough sleep it’s like starting up a race car at a
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Nascar race without any gas in your car, if you don’t get enough sleep you cannot function so if you are struggling to come up with ideas or a plan sleep on it get into a place where you are taking care of yourself and resting enough and then you will be able to be much more active when you are awake. I don’t understand why some people think lack of sleep is like a badge of accomplishment like I only need four hours of sleep or I only got three hours of sleep last night as if it’s something to be proud of but that means you’re not taking care of yourself and you are not respecting your own energy and if you don’t respect your own energy it’s not going to perform and show up for you.
Debbie Millman For the past 20 years, Debbie Millman has been President of Sterling Brands, where she has worked on the redesign of over 200 global brands. In 2013, Debbie was named one of the most influential designers working today by GDUSA. Debbie Millman is also founder and host of Design Matters, the world’s first radio show about design, which has garnered millions of downloads and a Cooper Hewitt National Design Award. In the nine years since its inception, Millman has interviewed more than 250 design luminaries and cultural commentators. Along with Steven Heller, Debbie co-founded the first-ever graduate program in branding at the School of Visual Arts. Now in its 5th year, the program has achieved international acclaim. The inaugural class wrote and designed the Rockport book Brand Bible: The Complete Guide to Building, Designing and Sustaining Brands and in 2013 the students created the branding for the Museum of Modern Art’s retail program, Destination: New York. Debbie’s visual essays have appeared in Print Magazine, Design Observer and Fast Company. Her work has been exhibited at the Chicago Design Museum, Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum, Anderson University, School of Visual Arts, Long Island University and The Wolfsonion Museum. She has been artist-in-residence at Cranbrook University, Old Dominion University and Notre Dame University. She has designed wrapping paper and beach towels for One Kings Lane, greeting cards for Mohawk, playing cards for DeckStarter and sketchbooks for Shutterstock.
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
The Art of Having It All A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance
Christy Whitman, The Acclaimed New York Times Best-Selling Author
Debbie is President Emeritus of AIGA, one of four women to hold the position in the organization’s 100-year history. She is also a frequent speaker and has moderated Design Yatra in India, presented keynote lectures at Rotman School of Management, Princeton University, Michigan Modern, PortableTV in Australia, Design Thinkers in Toronto, the Festival of Art and Design in Barcelona, and many more. She is the author of 5 books printed in over 10 languages and can be found on Twitter via @debbiemillman.
Right at this moment, no matter how you are feeling, no matter how in debt you might be, no matter how old you are or how much you weigh, and no matter what the condition of your relationships might be, you have the power to re-create yourself and your life exactly the way you desire it to be – and quite frankly, the way you deserve it to be. Regardless of how big a gap exists between what you want and what you currently have, within you is the ability to effortlessly and joyfully bridge that gap in virtually every aspect of your life. You can have it all, how you define it, how you want it. You do have the power to create it.
Go here to learn exactly how you can start having it all today!
Copyright © 2015, Christy Whitman International. All rights reserved. | www.ChristyWhitman.com | www.TheArtofHavingItAll.com
