Pastors Kids
Pastors Kids – P.K.’s Some Observations by Pastor Simon McIntyre.
Salvation isn’t hereditary – unfortunately (or maybe not!). It isn’t genetically handed down, as though you will escape the ‘all too human’ traits of your parents. You certainly have an advantage but it is no ultimate guarantee, as you will need to do what they did, and that is to make a personal decision to be a follower of Jesus. It is a choice they cannot and should not make for you. I have known Christian parents who have had a life-‐changing encounter with Jesus watch their own children make the same awful and costly mistakes they did in their youth (and later in some cases). And this often mystifies them until they realize that their salvation is no guarantee of good behavior in their offspring – in you. 1
So, being a P.K. gives you, Advantage -‐ yes. Guarantee -‐ no. This leads me to the next observation. Your parents aren’t perfect – hello! (With the exception of Reuben McIntyre) Your mum and dad will, and have made mistakes. They get mad, say things they wish they hadn’t, act poorly, and make blunders -‐ and worse. If you were hoping they were perfect you would have been disappointed by now. But this isn’t a bad thing. Why? They aren’t your Savior – Jesus is. People don’t save people. Jesus saves. Dad didn’t die for your sins, and mum wasn’t raised from the grave for your justification. But Jesus did, and was. How wonderful, and how relieving -‐ for you and your parents. Demanding perfection is demanding the impossible. And you don’t have to be in full time Christian ministry to be a full time Christian. Some, many of you will follow willingly and happily in your parents footsteps. Well and good. It is an obvious choice but it isn’t an inevitable choice. Some are called to do what their parents are doing, and some aren’t. Heavenly 2
citizenship isn’t premised on you following in your parent’s footsteps. It is premised on you following in Jesus’ footsteps. Where is he asking you to go? What is He asking you to do? It may be in business, it may be in the arts, it may be in service to the less fortunate, it may be as a lawyer, a doctor, a nurse, or a teacher – all wonderful, helpful and Godly tasks, worthy of a life time of sweat and service. You need never feel second rate because you don’t have the same passion for church life that your parents exhibit. Your call may be elsewhere. A word of caution. Some P.K.’s won’t follow in their parent footsteps by way of reaction, and/or hurt, and not by wise choices. I have known, still know, P.K.’s who are not following either their parents or, in some cases, Jesus himself, because of reaction to what they have observed happening in and around and to their parents. Defensively they decide not to allow themselves to be caught in the same trap, little realizing they have fallen into a bigger trap – missing God’s best for them. (They often go on to make a lot of money, or become notorious atheists -‐ strange that) Your journey is different than others. You are wise to reconcile this as soon as possible, rather than living embarrassed or
3
resentful. Neither of these two attitudes will bless your future, much less anyone around you. Your environment has been God’s people – His church. It rubs off on you and helps you understand many things others aren’t privy to. Instinctively, you understand things -‐ spiritual and otherwise. The down side of this is that some get unnecessarily cynical, which is unfortunate, as cynicism and faith tend to cancel each other out. As much as anyone you will need to guard against this, and realize the wonderful privilege of your position and heritage. Some parents don’t help when they ‘discuss’ God’s people on the way home in the car. I have observed this unfortunate and might I add foolish tendency (don’t tell your parents I said this – they may criticize me next), and the damage it causes to P.K.’s. You are in public view a lot more than others of your age, and the more so when the church your parents lead and pastor is large. Good parents help shield some of this but it isn’t possible to avoid it altogether. All people in public view are aware of the effects this can have on their children, but it need not be damaging. It can, on the contrary, strengthen you – 4
making you more robust people than others get a chance to be. You can grow with an internal resilience that will make you a big person, a great leader in the making. Make the most of it rather than allowing it to frustrate you. Be bigger than the people who jeer, or criticize, you. They prove their smallness by succumbing to belittling others. All of us face condemnation, fear, and guilt. Knowing the truth about who we are, and who God is, needs to be balanced with the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives – other wise we can easily enough fall under the power of not feeling we are good enough. A home with a lot of laughter does help alleviate this. Because you are around a home that has the love of truth and the awareness of God in it means you are often more susceptible to the very opposite of the effect this potentially has. To add to this you will have expectations, both internal and external, that can unwittingly be imposed on you by your parents. And some church members act as if your behavior is meant to always be more exemplary than the angels of heaven. Seldom do these people insist on the same with their own children. Some P.K.’s rebel against this by saying, in effect – “I’ll show you!” And others buckle under the pressure of undue expectation, which in turn can make you feel less than worthy 5
in Gods eyes. The Good News is that God loves you – unequivocally. Guilt has never been a good motivator for faith and a great Christian life. You don’t need a ‘testimony.’ They are always expensive and they have long legs. It is better by far to have lived a straight and holy life. People with a ‘testimony’ wish they didn’t have one, and that they had lived like you. Walk tall if you have walked tall. You have a wonderful heritage to pass on to others, and even to your own children one day. Don’t belittle or denigrate it. It came with a price. I love P.K.’s – So many of you, that I know, are making a magnificent difference in your world, your church, your work places, and your relationships. More power to you.
6
Simon McIntyre © 2015.
7
Salvation isn’t hereditary – unfortunately (or maybe not!). It isn’t genetically handed down, as though you will escape the ‘all too human’ traits of your parents. You certainly have an advantage but it is no ultimate guarantee, as you will need to do what they did, and that is to make a personal decision to be a follower of Jesus. It is a choice they cannot and should not make for you. I have known Christian parents who have had a life-‐changing encounter with Jesus watch their own children make the same awful and costly mistakes they did in their youth (and later in some cases). And this often mystifies them until they realize that their salvation is no guarantee of good behavior in their offspring – in you. 1
So, being a P.K. gives you, Advantage -‐ yes. Guarantee -‐ no. This leads me to the next observation. Your parents aren’t perfect – hello! (With the exception of Reuben McIntyre) Your mum and dad will, and have made mistakes. They get mad, say things they wish they hadn’t, act poorly, and make blunders -‐ and worse. If you were hoping they were perfect you would have been disappointed by now. But this isn’t a bad thing. Why? They aren’t your Savior – Jesus is. People don’t save people. Jesus saves. Dad didn’t die for your sins, and mum wasn’t raised from the grave for your justification. But Jesus did, and was. How wonderful, and how relieving -‐ for you and your parents. Demanding perfection is demanding the impossible. And you don’t have to be in full time Christian ministry to be a full time Christian. Some, many of you will follow willingly and happily in your parents footsteps. Well and good. It is an obvious choice but it isn’t an inevitable choice. Some are called to do what their parents are doing, and some aren’t. Heavenly 2
citizenship isn’t premised on you following in your parent’s footsteps. It is premised on you following in Jesus’ footsteps. Where is he asking you to go? What is He asking you to do? It may be in business, it may be in the arts, it may be in service to the less fortunate, it may be as a lawyer, a doctor, a nurse, or a teacher – all wonderful, helpful and Godly tasks, worthy of a life time of sweat and service. You need never feel second rate because you don’t have the same passion for church life that your parents exhibit. Your call may be elsewhere. A word of caution. Some P.K.’s won’t follow in their parent footsteps by way of reaction, and/or hurt, and not by wise choices. I have known, still know, P.K.’s who are not following either their parents or, in some cases, Jesus himself, because of reaction to what they have observed happening in and around and to their parents. Defensively they decide not to allow themselves to be caught in the same trap, little realizing they have fallen into a bigger trap – missing God’s best for them. (They often go on to make a lot of money, or become notorious atheists -‐ strange that) Your journey is different than others. You are wise to reconcile this as soon as possible, rather than living embarrassed or
3
resentful. Neither of these two attitudes will bless your future, much less anyone around you. Your environment has been God’s people – His church. It rubs off on you and helps you understand many things others aren’t privy to. Instinctively, you understand things -‐ spiritual and otherwise. The down side of this is that some get unnecessarily cynical, which is unfortunate, as cynicism and faith tend to cancel each other out. As much as anyone you will need to guard against this, and realize the wonderful privilege of your position and heritage. Some parents don’t help when they ‘discuss’ God’s people on the way home in the car. I have observed this unfortunate and might I add foolish tendency (don’t tell your parents I said this – they may criticize me next), and the damage it causes to P.K.’s. You are in public view a lot more than others of your age, and the more so when the church your parents lead and pastor is large. Good parents help shield some of this but it isn’t possible to avoid it altogether. All people in public view are aware of the effects this can have on their children, but it need not be damaging. It can, on the contrary, strengthen you – 4
making you more robust people than others get a chance to be. You can grow with an internal resilience that will make you a big person, a great leader in the making. Make the most of it rather than allowing it to frustrate you. Be bigger than the people who jeer, or criticize, you. They prove their smallness by succumbing to belittling others. All of us face condemnation, fear, and guilt. Knowing the truth about who we are, and who God is, needs to be balanced with the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives – other wise we can easily enough fall under the power of not feeling we are good enough. A home with a lot of laughter does help alleviate this. Because you are around a home that has the love of truth and the awareness of God in it means you are often more susceptible to the very opposite of the effect this potentially has. To add to this you will have expectations, both internal and external, that can unwittingly be imposed on you by your parents. And some church members act as if your behavior is meant to always be more exemplary than the angels of heaven. Seldom do these people insist on the same with their own children. Some P.K.’s rebel against this by saying, in effect – “I’ll show you!” And others buckle under the pressure of undue expectation, which in turn can make you feel less than worthy 5
in Gods eyes. The Good News is that God loves you – unequivocally. Guilt has never been a good motivator for faith and a great Christian life. You don’t need a ‘testimony.’ They are always expensive and they have long legs. It is better by far to have lived a straight and holy life. People with a ‘testimony’ wish they didn’t have one, and that they had lived like you. Walk tall if you have walked tall. You have a wonderful heritage to pass on to others, and even to your own children one day. Don’t belittle or denigrate it. It came with a price. I love P.K.’s – So many of you, that I know, are making a magnificent difference in your world, your church, your work places, and your relationships. More power to you.
6
Simon McIntyre © 2015.
7
