Quiet your inner critic
mind + spirit inner self
Quiet your inner critic Naturopath Linda Moon shows you how to give fear the finger, and turn self-criticism into a creative asset.
A
PIVOTAL moment in my life was the realisation I could choose to banish my inner critic, the malignant adversary that had held me back from the life I desired. We parted ways with a ritual “goodbye,” and immediately I felt awake, vibrant and excited, as if released from a spell. Call it the enemy within, the sub-personality, or the ‘judge’; we all have an inner critic, to some degree. This is the admonishing, berating, demeaning voice which tells us we’ll make a fool of ourselves, or prove to be inadequate, unworthy, or unlovable. It creates guilt, worry, shame, and self-doubt, diminishing us and sabotaging our dreams.
“Our real self is our original essence - a trapped precious gem we must search for and reclaim.” - A. H. Almaas, spiritual writer The power of words
“Most people aren’t even aware of their inner critic, because its commentary has been with them constantly since early childhood,” say Hal and Sidra Stone in the journal Psychotherapy. “The litany of ‘You’re ugly’, ‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘Don’t trust anyone, you’ll only get hurt’ actually feels quite normal and natural.” Words and thoughts have huge power. The inner critic can be extremely destructive, playing a direct role in anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep disorders, addictions, and relationship issues; it also significantly impedes our personal and career goals. Nor do these negative effects end with us: they extend to those around us, feeding hurtful attitudes and behaviours. “We underestimate the extent to which these hostile thoughts are directing our lives, and the lives of others,”
warns Robert Firestone, co-author of Conquer Your Critical Voice. “The inner critic has evolved from the attitudes, beliefs and experiences we’ve absorbed and internalised since childhood. As our parents attempted to raise us to be safe, successful and acceptable to society, inevitably they tried to ‘fix’ anything they saw as an obstacle. But parents are not the only ones to blame - the media, peers and teachers all contribute to toxic social programming.” Continuing the work of society and parents, the inner critic’s over-riding concern is therefore for us to succeed in the world and to be accepted and liked by others. However, by undermining our real self, it actually creates unhappiness and holds us back from our true potential. That real self is defined by Firestone as “having good self-regard and a natural inclination to develop and grow, seek positive relationships with others and meaning in life.” This concept of a life free from the oppression of the inner critic is central to Eckhart Tolle’s message in The Power of Now – that we are all part of the Divine and connecting to our true self (the state of “being”) can transform us, bringing inner happiness and peace. “Separating awareness from thinking is the means to uncovering our true self,” says Tolle. “This means being vigilant of our thoughts and feelings and not feeding them with attachment or energy. When we are aligned with a negative thought or emotion, we become unconscious: this implies a complete absence of the watcher. The mind is essentially a survival machine, and while it’s a powerful and important tool, good for gathering, storing and analysing information, the problem is we’ve come to believe we ARE the tool, and we let the tool take us over. So, awareness of the mind – which is the opposite of mindlessness - forms the first and most important step in disarming the inner critic.”
natureandhealth.com.au | 76 | June-July 2016
mind + spirit inner self
❃ Still your mind
Approaches to dealing with the inner critic include affirmations, mindfulness, and the Diamond Approach, which is a spiritual teaching aimed at rediscovery of our true self. They all emphasise stilling the mind through focused meditation and objective observation of thoughts. Mindfulness focuses our attention on the present. Be aware of and observe thoughts, and allow them to pass without judgement: they do not define you, nor do you have to act on them. “Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, your consciousness grows stronger,” Tolle explains. “Focusing on the present moment is central to ridding yourself of the mind’s chatter. Time and mind are inseparable, with the mind tied to reviewing the past and anticipating the future. Remove time from the mind and it stops.” Positive affirmations can reprogram the mind in a way that empowers and encourages. They are most effective when they challenge a negative belief or thought, are spoken in the present tense, and start with the word ‘I’. For example, the thought, “People won’t like me” can become, “I am lovable and worthwhile.” With continued and disciplined practice, it’s possible to banish the inner critic and reunite with the precious pearl of our true self. As Almaas writes in The Diamond Heart, “The more we are in touch with ourselves, the more we feel this innate drive to know and be who we really are. We want the freedom to live as we’re supposed to live, to fulfil our potential. When we don’t live that way, we suffer.” natureandhealth.com.au | 77 | June-July 2016
Quiet your inner critic Naturopath Linda Moon shows you how to give fear the finger, and turn self-criticism into a creative asset.
A
PIVOTAL moment in my life was the realisation I could choose to banish my inner critic, the malignant adversary that had held me back from the life I desired. We parted ways with a ritual “goodbye,” and immediately I felt awake, vibrant and excited, as if released from a spell. Call it the enemy within, the sub-personality, or the ‘judge’; we all have an inner critic, to some degree. This is the admonishing, berating, demeaning voice which tells us we’ll make a fool of ourselves, or prove to be inadequate, unworthy, or unlovable. It creates guilt, worry, shame, and self-doubt, diminishing us and sabotaging our dreams.
“Our real self is our original essence - a trapped precious gem we must search for and reclaim.” - A. H. Almaas, spiritual writer The power of words
“Most people aren’t even aware of their inner critic, because its commentary has been with them constantly since early childhood,” say Hal and Sidra Stone in the journal Psychotherapy. “The litany of ‘You’re ugly’, ‘You’ll never amount to anything’, ‘Don’t trust anyone, you’ll only get hurt’ actually feels quite normal and natural.” Words and thoughts have huge power. The inner critic can be extremely destructive, playing a direct role in anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, sleep disorders, addictions, and relationship issues; it also significantly impedes our personal and career goals. Nor do these negative effects end with us: they extend to those around us, feeding hurtful attitudes and behaviours. “We underestimate the extent to which these hostile thoughts are directing our lives, and the lives of others,”
warns Robert Firestone, co-author of Conquer Your Critical Voice. “The inner critic has evolved from the attitudes, beliefs and experiences we’ve absorbed and internalised since childhood. As our parents attempted to raise us to be safe, successful and acceptable to society, inevitably they tried to ‘fix’ anything they saw as an obstacle. But parents are not the only ones to blame - the media, peers and teachers all contribute to toxic social programming.” Continuing the work of society and parents, the inner critic’s over-riding concern is therefore for us to succeed in the world and to be accepted and liked by others. However, by undermining our real self, it actually creates unhappiness and holds us back from our true potential. That real self is defined by Firestone as “having good self-regard and a natural inclination to develop and grow, seek positive relationships with others and meaning in life.” This concept of a life free from the oppression of the inner critic is central to Eckhart Tolle’s message in The Power of Now – that we are all part of the Divine and connecting to our true self (the state of “being”) can transform us, bringing inner happiness and peace. “Separating awareness from thinking is the means to uncovering our true self,” says Tolle. “This means being vigilant of our thoughts and feelings and not feeding them with attachment or energy. When we are aligned with a negative thought or emotion, we become unconscious: this implies a complete absence of the watcher. The mind is essentially a survival machine, and while it’s a powerful and important tool, good for gathering, storing and analysing information, the problem is we’ve come to believe we ARE the tool, and we let the tool take us over. So, awareness of the mind – which is the opposite of mindlessness - forms the first and most important step in disarming the inner critic.”
natureandhealth.com.au | 76 | June-July 2016
mind + spirit inner self
❃ Still your mind
Approaches to dealing with the inner critic include affirmations, mindfulness, and the Diamond Approach, which is a spiritual teaching aimed at rediscovery of our true self. They all emphasise stilling the mind through focused meditation and objective observation of thoughts. Mindfulness focuses our attention on the present. Be aware of and observe thoughts, and allow them to pass without judgement: they do not define you, nor do you have to act on them. “Every time you create a gap in the stream of mind, your consciousness grows stronger,” Tolle explains. “Focusing on the present moment is central to ridding yourself of the mind’s chatter. Time and mind are inseparable, with the mind tied to reviewing the past and anticipating the future. Remove time from the mind and it stops.” Positive affirmations can reprogram the mind in a way that empowers and encourages. They are most effective when they challenge a negative belief or thought, are spoken in the present tense, and start with the word ‘I’. For example, the thought, “People won’t like me” can become, “I am lovable and worthwhile.” With continued and disciplined practice, it’s possible to banish the inner critic and reunite with the precious pearl of our true self. As Almaas writes in The Diamond Heart, “The more we are in touch with ourselves, the more we feel this innate drive to know and be who we really are. We want the freedom to live as we’re supposed to live, to fulfil our potential. When we don’t live that way, we suffer.” natureandhealth.com.au | 77 | June-July 2016
